Selfish

by Shantel Tessier

  Her eyes remain shut this time. “Your birthday was two weeks ago,” she reminds me. “So I hate to burst your bubble, but that excuse isn’t gonna work.”

  I wrap my arm around her side and pull her to me. “Then how about I make this all about you?” My hand comes up and pushes some blond hair from her face. Her eyes remain closed, but she licks her lips.

  “You’re getting warmer,” she jokes.

  I roll over and open the dark brown drawer. I open the box and take out the gift I got her, leaving the box where she can’t see it. I had done some shopping yesterday on my way out to the port, and she was the only one I was getting a gift for.

  I turn back to face her, and she continues to lie there, eyes closed. She must feel me staring because, after a few long seconds, her eyes drift open. She blinks a few times.

  I smile. “If you knew how tired I truly am, you would let me sleep,” she groans.

  I pick up her left wrist and examine the marks my belt left. I lift them to my lips and gently kiss them. “I didn’t hear you complaining earlier.”

  She snorts. “It’s hard to complain when you’re gagged.”

  “True,” I say with a smile. I had stuffed her panties in her mouth after I removed my cock. “You liked it.”

  A soft smile spreads across her face. “I’ll never say.”

  She laughs softly as I sit up and unclasp the bracelet that she doesn’t see me holding. I wrap it around her wrist, and her laughter dies. She sits up in a rush and stares down at it with confusion all over her face.

  I push her wild and crazy blond hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Ryder.” She whispers my name. “What is this?” Her eyes look up and meet mine.

  “It’s your gift.”

  She starts shaking her head. “I don’t need …”

  “I know,” I say, pushing her back onto the bed. She looks up at me. “I know you don’t need me to get you anything. But I wanted to,” I tell her, cupping her face. “I wanted to give you something that makes you think of me.”

  “I always think of you.” She bites her bottom lip, and her cheeks flush as if she didn’t mean to say that.

  I smile down at her. “Don’t be embarrassed, sweetheart. You’re all I think about too.”

  ASHLYN

  I walk up the stairs in Ryder’s yacht that I’m pretty sure are gold plated and out into the sunlight. I blink a few times until my eyes adjust to the sun. And once they do, I freeze at what I see. Jaycent and Becca stand at the back of the yacht. His hands are in her already messy hair, and his lips are on hers. I shouldn’t be surprised, I know what they’re doing, but still. I’m surprised they are this open with the fact that Ryder could catch them at any moment.

  I stand back and watch as if I’m watching a movie play out in front of me. They stand by the rail, the sun beating down on them. The sound of the waves behind the yacht as we head to god knows where. Over to the right of them are two lawn chairs and a bright red umbrella, covering the chairs in the shade.

  They get my attention as he pushes her back into the railing. His hand in her hair falls to her thigh. He lifts it up around his hip …

  “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?” I say loud enough for them to hear me. I don’t mind watching random strangers in Panama City, but I can’t watch my best friend and her secret lover go at it on her brother’s yacht.

  They pull away quickly, and Becca wipes her lips with the back of her hand. Jaycent coughs as he looks anywhere but at me.

  “Becca, I’m gonna see what I can find to cook for breakfast. Wanna help me?”

  She just nods as she walks away from Jaycent and right past me. I turn and follow after her because honestly, I don’t know where the kitchen is. We walk through a living area with white leather couches with gold throw pillows and a soft brown throw blanket draped over the back of them. An expensive brown area rug feels good on my bare feet.

  We enter a little door that has a circular window, and I hear people talking as we enter what I’m guessing is the kitchen.

  I turn a corner and see three women and a man standing around; one lady has her hands in the fridge, another in a cupboard. A guy is turning the stove on.

  “Get out,” I say.

  They all turn to me, their faces laced with confusion. I point at the door behind me with my thumb. “Get out,” I say. “You’re off for the day.”

  They look at Becca for I guess approval. I clap my hands, and they scatter.

  I’ve heard Becca talk about his before—the way they grew up. Nannies, chefs, and maids but I never thought much of it. But now that I see it, I don’t care for it.

  I open up the stainless fridge, and Becca comes over beside me. She turns, facing the wooden island and leans her back against the counter. Sighing heavily.

  “Ballsy,” I say, pulling out a carton of eggs.

  “It’s getting harder to hide it.” She sighs.

  “No shit.” I refrain from laughing.

  “He wants to tell Ryder,” she whispers.

  “And you’re not ready?” I grab a bowl out of the white painted cabinet and start breaking eggs on the side of it.

  She shakes her head. “Ry will be so pissed.” She takes a deep breath. “But Jaycent keeps bringing it up. Like every second. If I keep putting it off, he may walk away.”

  Is that why they were out in the open? Because he wants Ryder to know. “I doubt that,” I say, breaking another egg.

  “I don’t wanna hurt, Ry. But Jaycent and I should be able to be together. Jaycent makes it sound like he needs Ry’s blessing,” she huffs.

  “Maybe he does.” But letting him catch them out in the open probably isn’t the best way to do that.

  “Well, I don’t,” she snaps, and my brows lift. Becca is a softie. She doesn’t raise her voice. She runs a hand through her hair. “I feel like time is running out.” I can hear the desperation in her voice.

  “Can you get me the milk, please?” I ask, trying to help ease her frustration.

  She nods and pushes off the counter to get into the fridge. I reach out to grab the milk from her, and her hand wraps around her my wrist. I hiss in a breath when she squeezes the sensitive skin where Ryder had secured his belt. She eases up and looks at the reddened marks for a few seconds. She looks up at me, and I smile. “What?”

  She shakes her head and lowers her eyes. If she were to ask about me and Ryder’s sex life, I would tell her, but I’m positive that’s a conversation we’ll never have. “When did you get this?” she asks, still looking down at my wrist.

  “Last night.”

  “The bracelet,” she says as if she needs to clarify.

  “Last night,” I repeat.

  She releases my wrist, and I smile, looking down at the bracelet he got me. It’s exactly me. It’s a sterling silver charm bracelet with a heart tag in the middle. The charm to the left of the heart tag is a circular charm with the letter A scripted on it. On the opposite side of the heart tag is another circular charm with the letter R scripted on it. I look over the other silver charms. There’s an open book. Because I love to read, he says. Another is a crown because he says, you’re my queen.

  “It’s beautiful,” Becca says.

  “I agree.”

  “But then again, everything from Tiffany’s is.”

  My hand drops, and I look at her. “Tiffany’s?” She nods. “The Tiffany’s and Company?”

  She nods slowly. “Yes.” I start shaking my head. She reaches down, grabs my wrists, and spins the bracelet to where the heart is. She flips it over and there in small letters it reads Tiffany & Co.

  “He didn’t tell me where it came from,” I say with a growl. “He knows how I feel about the money—”

  “Ashlyn.” She interrupts me, placing her hand on my arm. “I want to tell you something, but I don’t want you to think I’m taking his side.”

  My brow rises. “His side?”

  “You have to understand where Ry and I came from. Our parents wer
e never around. My father means well, and well, my mother just wants everyone to see her.” She frowns as if she can’t understand that. “Ry doesn’t understand how to show someone he cares about them.”

  “Becca.”

  “Just wait. I learned a lot from you and your parents over the last four years. I realized what love looks like. I understand when someone said a hug can change your entire day. But Ry still doesn’t know what that’s like. He’s like my father. Money saves the day. He may have bought you that bracelet, but I know he bought it with the purest intentions.”

  “What are you saying?” I ask, running my hands over the crown. My queen.

  “I’m saying don’t be mad at him for doing the only thing he knows.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  RYDER

  My eyes open, and I reach out to where Ashlyn should be but feel nothing but empty space. I look over to my right to see I’m alone. I fall back onto the bed, reminiscing about what I did to her last night.

  I roll over onto my side and moan at the feel of my hard cock. It’s sore from what we did. The roughness how I took her. And I wanna do it again.

  “Ashlyn?” I mumble her name. When she doesn’t answer, I know she’s no longer in the bedroom with me.

  I kick off the covers and get up. I’m gonna have to take care of this before I go walking around to look for her.

  Fifteen minutes later, I make my way up the steps. The sun blinds me, so I slip on my sunglasses. I see Jaycent first, standing at the back of the boat overlooking the water. “Good morning.”

  “Morning,” he says, running a hand through his hair. His eyes stay on the deck, and he shuffles from foot to foot.

  “Everything okay?” I ask already knowing it isn’t.

  He places his hands in the front pockets of his shorts. “I need to talk to you,” he says slowly.

  “Okay,” I say crossing my arms over my chest. What could this possibly be about?

  He goes to open his mouth, but a female voice cuts him off. “Ry.”

  I look over to see my sister coming towards me. She has a smile on her face, but it drops off the moment she looks at Jaycent.

  “Where’s Ashlyn?” I ask when I don’t see she is with my sister.

  “In the kitchen cooking breakfast.”

  “Why?” I ask.

  “Because she wanted to,” comes her simple answer.

  I leave them alone on the deck and make my way down to the kitchen, lifting my sunglasses once I’m out of the sun.

  I find her standing in the kitchen cooking bacon over the stove. “I pay people to do that, you know?” I say, leaning against the counter.

  She spins around, and her eyes narrow on me. I straighten my back. “What?”

  She holds up her wrist, and I exhale. She knows. “You thought I wouldn’t see it?”

  “I hoped so,” I say honestly.

  She huffs. “Ryder, I don’t want you buying me things.”

  “Too bad,” I say, and she huffs. I smile and walk to her. “There’s a lot of things I won’t do, but one thing I will do is spend my money how I see fit. And I want to spend it on you.”

  Her shoulders fall. “It’s not that I don’t love it, but I can’t compete with that.”

  “It’s not a competition,” I say softly.

  She wraps her arms around my neck, and I push her back into the counter. “My bacon is gonna burn.”

  “Let it,” I tell her.

  I place my hands on the counter caging her in. “I don’t want you to buy me anything. All I want is you.” Her eyes search mine as if she’s trying to determine if I’m lying or being serious. “I’m serious,” I tell her. “You. Me. That’s what I want.”

  She finally smiles.

  ***

  The girls left the boat much earlier than I did. Rohnny came and picked them up, and I had Milton take me up to the office needing to go over some paperwork. I spent most of my day there, and I very rarely checked my phone, still trying to avoid my mother. I know she’s not gonna go away, but the less I have to hear from her the better.

  I walk into my apartment and go straight to my room. I remove my shirt, kick off my shoes, and fall onto my bed. I send Ashlyn a quick message that I’m back home and to come up to my place.

  I lay my phone on my chest, waiting for her to respond or knock on my door, and close my eyes.

  I wake to the sound of thunder rattling my floor-to-ceiling windows. I frown at the how dark my room now is. Sitting up, I yawn and grab my phone as it falls off my chest and into my lap. The clock on my phone reads a little after nine p.m. I have been sleeping for three hours. The thunder booms again, and then my room is lit up by lightning.

  I pull up my messages, and Ashlyn hasn’t even read the text I sent her three hours ago. I throw the covers off and walk to my closet. I throw on a t-shirt and a fresh pair of blue plaid shorts and decide to just go down to her apartment and get her.

  I make my way down to her apartment and let myself in; my sister gave me a key, so I don’t see why I can’t use it.

  I walk in and come to a quick stop when I see my sister in the kitchen with a shirtless man. “Hello?” I question as I look him up and down.

  Becca’s eyes widen when she sees me. “Ryder,” she squeaks in surprise. Then her eyes dart to the hallway.

  “Sis,” I say, looking back at the man. Is my sister dating someone that I don’t know about? “I’m Ryder,” I say taking a step closer to him. “Becca’s brother,” I declare as I reach out my hand.

  “Oh, hey man,” he says happily as he places his hand in mine. “Nice to meet you. I’m …”

  “Hey babe,” He’s interrupted by a voice I know all too well. “What do you want to do tonight?”

  I turn and look at the hallway just as Ashlyn emerges. She comes to a halt when she sees me standing in the kitchen. I remove my hand from the man’s as I turn to fully face her. My eyes look her up and down trying to process why she is wearing a man’s oversize t-shirt and nothing else.

  Who was she talking to? She didn’t know I was here.

  “It’s whatever you wanna do,” the shirtless man says, and I look at him.

  “Babe?” I say, looking back at her.

  Her blue eyes widen, and she swallows. “Uh, Ryder. What are you doing here?” she asks, ignoring my question.

  “I came down because you ignored my text message,” I say. I’m still trying to figure out what is going on, but I already know I’m not gonna like it.

  My eyes go to her bare legs, and as they do, she tugs at her t-shirt that barely covers her fucking pussy. My mind is telling me that she is dressed that way because of the man in her kitchen, but every ounce of me wants to say that’s not true. It can’t be. Can it?

  “I’m sorry, my phone is off,” she says in a rush.

  “You’d better keep it off for the next three days, princess,” the man in the kitchen says before he takes a bite out of an apple.

  Ashlyn’s eyes go to him and then back to me. Her chest rises and falls as she takes a deep breath. I turn to face the man, my jaw tightening and my chest pounding. “I’m sorry, but who are you?” I demand.

  His smile fades, and he frowns at the change of my voice. “I’m Bradley,” he says his name as if I should know who he is, and I hate that I do.

  My jaw tightens, and my hands fist down by my side as I look back at her. I shouldn’t feel this way over a woman I’ve been fucking for three weeks now and only had one date with. I have no right to her just as he has no right to her. But he does. He’s got years of her time over me. This is her best fucking friend. I, on the other hand, am just some guy she doesn’t want to know. She just wants to fuck me, and that’s all. Any man should feel grateful for at least that from her, but I don’t. It just pisses me off. I want more, and I’ve told her this. Yet here I am, her backup. If he lived here, she’d never look at me twice.

  I feel sweat bead on the back of my neck, and my chest tightens to the point it’s hard to brea
the as I look at her bare legs. An image enters my mind, and I try to fight it, but it consumes me.

  She’s naked in her bed. He’s on top of her, her legs wrapped around his waist. His hands gripping her thigh. Her head thrown back as she moans. “Bradley …” Her mouth falls open, and she grips his biceps as he thrusts into her…

  My body heats up with jealousy. Hot fucking rage. I refuse to share her. I meet her beautiful blue eyes, and I see the concern in them. She takes a step to me. “Ryder …” Her voice breaks, and I swallow the lump in my throat. She takes another step, and I try to move back, but my legs have become anchors. She’s pulling me down. I never had a chance. I should have never touched her in Florida. That was my first mistake. The second was thinking that I had a chance with her.

  I’ve known it since I met her that she was like a storm. Catastrophic and beautiful all at once. It was as if her purpose was solely vengeance. And like every storm, most underestimated her will to destroy. But I didn’t. I knew what she was capable of, yet I still walked right into it ready to dance in the rain. I wanted to know what her wrath would feel like. Now, I know, and it’s devastating.

  Without another word, I will my legs to move, turn around and leave, slamming the door behind me.

  ASHLYN

  Shit! Shit! Shit!

  I stand there frozen to my spot, trying to process what just happened and why I feel so bad about it. What Ryder and I are doing is just sex. We both know that. But he looked so pissed. Or was it heartbroken? Maybe that’s wishful thinking. I feel so shitty.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Bradley asks, taking another bite out of his apple, and it interrupts my thinking.

  I spin around and run to my bedroom. My heart is beating hard in my chest, and my breathing is heavy. I yank on a pair of sweatpants that sit on the end of my bed and slide on a pair of flip-flops from my closet. I run through the apartment and out the front door without explaining to anyone what I’m doing.

  I run into the hallway just as the doors start to close to the elevator. “Ryder!” I yell out as I see him.

  His dark green eyes slowly look up at me from his phone and my heart stops. The anger behind them knocks me in the chest. His lips are in a thin line, and his body is tight. I did this to him. I’ve hurt him. I never meant for this to happen. He looks back down at his phone, dismissing me, and I suck in a deep breath as if I can finally breathe again. “Wait,” I call out as I run to the elevator. He makes no attempt to stop the doors from shutting, but I manage to jump in just as they close.