by Dani Wyatt
She shakes her head and her eyes turn from angry to sad. In a flash, I know. She turns and sits in the truck, staring straight ahead. “I’m the one that put your brother in jail. I’m the girl he did those things to. I’m the one.”
Chapter Twenty One
RACHEL
I feel like I’ve touched a live wire. My skin is rippling with current, zapping me like I’m holding onto an electric fence and I can’t let go.
“Just tell me, did you know who I was when you came to work for us?”
The look in his eyes tells me the answer. He looks like a ghost, white face and wide eyes, and for a moment I’m afraid he’s not breathing.
But he shakes his head without a word and I see him swallow hard before he turns away, steps back toward the bed of the truck, and grabs on to the top edge, locking his elbows, his head falling between his arms.
I hold my breath trying to keep my stomach from coming up.
Chad’s fingers tighten on the truck bed and he starts to rock his body back and forth, the tendons in his forearms standing out like cattle rope.
He doesn’t look at me when he speaks. “I love you,” he whispers toward the ground.
After Lacy dropped her little bombshell at the feed store, I doubted every moment with Chad. Was this some sort of sick payback?
I should have known a man like him wouldn’t be interested in me for real. Should have known there had to be some other reason. Deep down I just figured he wanted an easy fuck, right?
And now I know why his eyes seemed familiar. The eyes of someone who used to make me kiss him. Someone who used to come into my bedroom at night and make me touch myself for him as he masturbated.
Someone who told me I wanted him, that what was happening between us was real. That I wanted it to happen. That I made it happen.
I’m sure they thought I ruined their family. I did ruin their family, and now it seemed that they were getting back at me.
But now, listening to Chad say those words, my heart is telling me otherwise. And I think the world stops turning as I wait for him to say something else, the cowboy that made me feel things I didn’t even know existed.
I wait because I don’t know what else to do. My legs are shaking and my fingertips are cold. My vision focuses on a single spot in the night sky, wishing I was somewhere else and at the same time, praying for something I know can never be.
“Rachel.” His voice catches and breaks.
That single word stuns me out of my stupor. When I look up, Chad is leaning in the open door, his face inches from my ear.
“I never knew the name of that girl my brother hurt. No one ever told me. You were a minor, so your name was never released and my family tried to keep me out of it. Hell, I tried to keep myself out of it. I didn’t want to know.” His voice shakes. “I’m so sorry.”
His forehead comes down to rest on my shoulder, one hand releases from the door and it comes to wrap around the side of my head, steady and gentle. As Chad’s shoulders shake I have to pull my lips between my teeth to hold back the sobs that are filling my throat.
Now, when I look at him, I see Leander’s brother, not Chad. When I listen to him, will I always be reminded of the voice of the man that whispered for me to keep it a secret. Whispered what a special girl I was and that I could never tell anyone.
Somethings are just not meant to be.
That’s what we both know and that’s why we are grieving. Some obstacles you can’t overcome. In this moment, I know Chad didn’t know who I was before now. I know what had happened with him was real. But that is why he has to do the right thing and let me go.
I’m not sure how long we stay like that, but eventually the ragged sounds of Chad’s uneven breaths slow and he releases my head so that he can cup my cheek, his thumb whisking back and forth over the tears there. His fingers are rough and I remember how they felt on my body.
Chills shake my shoulders and he finally lifts his head.
I brace myself for what’s coming. He’s searching for the words and I’m unable to stifle the whimpers coming out of me.
“I’m never leaving you.” His harsh words shock me as he drops back and closes the truck door.
He vaults over the hood like a bullet, opens the driver’s door and slides into the seat, and before I can form my next thought, the keys are in the ignition and the engine is roaring to life.
Chapter Twenty Two
CHAD
“I’ve never begged for anything in my life, Rachel, but I’m begging you right now, take my hand and come inside. When I said you were mine, I meant it. I can’t live without you. Now more than before.”
She’s looking at me and I may be deceiving myself, but I think I see hope in her eyes. Just a flicker between the shock, doubt and fear. But it’s there and as long as there is hope, I’ve still got a chance.
We drove back to the farm in silence. She let my hand rest on her knee because I needed the contact and I needed the time to process what was happening and all the ways I could make it right with her.
I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about all the ways I could comfort her, all the ways I could make her feel safe again. All the ways I could make her forget.
And I came up with only one thing.
Love her so much and with everything I have that by sheer will I can heal all the broken parts my family left behind. Instead of thinking we were doomed because of the history between us, I think destiny brought us together so I could show her what it means to have someone love you so much they will stare down your demons for you. Slay your dragons and protect you until you feel safe.
“I don’t think I can.” She lifts her head, meets my eyes, and her chin quivers. “It’s too much. I’m not strong enough.”
“Well, I am. I’m strong enough for both of us. You’re coming inside and I’m going to show you what you know deep down. You are part of me. Wrapped so tightly around me I can’t take a single breath without thinking about you. There hasn’t been one single second since I laid my eyes on you that I didn’t know what I wanted. I want it all, Rachel. I want to know everything that hurts you so I can stop it, I want what makes you smile so I can make sure you get more, I want you as my wife and I want you to carry our babies. I want it all, so come inside. We’ll get through this —whatever happens with us— we will deal with it and move forward.”
She remains silent and I can’t wait any longer.
My hand grips the door handle and jerks the key from the ignition. I’m boots on the ground as I bolt to her door, opening it and grabbing her hand.
She starts to protest but I put my other hand to her mouth.
“Shhhh. Come inside. I promise you can say anything you ever want to say to me. Nothing will be off limits, but right now, I’m not sure words are what we need.”
I guide her down out of the truck, my fingers entwining with hers. She parts her lips as my other hand drops away, her tongue darting out to wet them. The way they shine, I can’t help but lean over to taste her.
Heat immediately ignites in my core at the brush of our lips. Every time I touch her it feels like the first time, and I wonder if that feeling will ever go away.
The way I love her scares me but it won’t stop me.
But that’s not the only thing that scares me.
It’s the conversation I had with Roger. Leander’s out.
God is testing me. Testing us. And I don’t know how to tell her.
But I’m going to have to deal with that another day, because right now it needs to be all about us. I have things to say to her.
Things to do to her and I’m not going to let Leander in here tonight.
Tomorrow I’ll tell her. I don’t see it making much of a difference. He’s a monster, and I’m sure he’s stupid enough to fill a tanker, but he’s not so stupid that he’d break the conditions of his parole. And one of those conditions is staying far away from her.
And even if it isn’t, I will make sure he does.
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A thousand thoughts are screaming through my head as I lead her toward the door of the cabin. The sliver of the moon is the only light besides a dim glow from the window of Enrique’s cabin.
Rachel looks back over her shoulder, the lights in the kitchen of the farm house burning bright in the dark.
“I’ll go tell her you’re okay.” I know what she’s thinking and I don’t want Jessie worrying. We stop in front of the cabin door and I press my hands to her warm cheeks. The salt from her tears has dried and I lean down to kiss it away, listening to the crickets and the rustle of the tree leaves above the cabin. “I told you I have a surprise for you, so go on inside, I’ll be right back.” I set my lips on her forehead.
“Okay.” The smallest hint of her dimple dots her right cheek and my heart beats triple time.
My hand is on the doorknob, opening for her to step inside.
I jump off the porch and hit the grass at a dead run toward the farm house. I’m halfway across the field between the two houses when I hear it.
A scream of my name that drains the blood from my face. The sound of fear in her voice rockets through me like a thousand fists hitting me at once.
I stop dead and I lose balance, forcing me onto my knees, one hand in the dirt as I struggle to turn back around.
“Rachel!” I scream as my feet dig for traction in the wet grass.
The door on the cabin is open and the sound of furniture crashing around and muffled screams has me ready to rend bone from flesh.
My muscles are on fire as my fingers turn to fists and my boots catch in the dirt and propel me forward.
Each step feels like it takes an eternity, the sounds of struggle and Rachel’s cries hit me as I slam through the front door.
My eyes scan the small interior, but there’s nothing; the cabin is silent but the back door is open and that’s where I’m headed.
I leap, not touching the steps, landing on my feet I freeze in place, listening.
The clouds have thickened, covering the moon and leaving no stars. Out over the cornfield, off in the distance, lightning flashes bright and a moment later the rumble of thunder echoes over the farm.
“Rachel!”
I swivel my head, my eyes looking for any movement in the dark, my ears buzzing, aware of the forced silence surrounding me.
She’s here, and I know who’s with her.
“Leander.” My voice turns to ice. “Don’t do this.”
My body relaxes, my instincts heighten. When you’re scared you’re not aware, and horses have taught me more than enough about how to listen, actually listen so that your awareness expands. So I draw in a steady full breath and blow it out as I count to ten.
Then I hear it.
A snap. It’s almost unintelligible, but I catch it.
I know the sound of a stick breaking under a foot. Human sounds are distinct, unnatural. I let my hearing take over and I catch shuffling, muffled breathing. A wheezing exhale. It’s the sound of someone trying not to be heard.
I hone in and find the origin of the sound, behind me to my left, yet I step forward away from it. Two steps, then I hear another shift, the crunch of leaves.
I remember the small pile of brush behind the cabin, just under the window of the tiny bathroom. It’s ten feet behind me, a few strides but it may as well be a mile because if I can’t get there in one leap then I can’t get there fast enough.
Each beat of my heart thumps all the way into my bones.
If I knew he was unarmed, I’d take the chance, turn and throw myself in that direction.
But I don’t know.
A knife could be at her throat.
A gun at her temple.
Another rustle and I can’t wait.
“I know it’s you, Leander. Just let her go, man.” I turn and my eyes settle on the faint outline of two bodies pressed flat against the flaking paint at the back of the cabin.
“What are you doing here, little brother?” His voice is comical; this is fun for him. “You taking care of my girl while I’m gone? Maybe we’ll share.”
I explode forward like a stallion jumping a stream, but I fall short and land hard, crushing my arm beneath me. As I scramble in the dirt I see the glint of steel in the moonlight held to her throat.
My insides twist and I snarl in his direction. “I’ll kill you if you hurt her.”
“I don’t think so, Chandler. I only want what’s mine. I got to her first, you just filled in. You always got what you wanted, until now. You just had to have her because you know I wanted her, didn’t you? So now you just stay there, Rachel and I have some catchin’ up to do.” He takes a step toward the corner of the cabin, Rachel held against him, his hand over her mouth and knife under her jaw.
Even in the dim light I can see the terror in her eyes.
Hearing those words come from his mouth turns me cold. There is a knife in my front pocket, but I don’t dare take the time to dig it out. He’ll know what I’m doing.
“I never got to finish what I started, did I, sweet girl?” Leander’s voice and Rachel’s whimper release a rage in me I didn’t know existed.
“I mean it, Leander, you hurt her, you’re dead.” My voice shakes. I’ve never wanted to destroy someone like I want to destroy him. All the horror he put our family through comes back to me.
“Aw, baby brother. You won’t kill me. Anyway, I’m not going to hurt her. I got to her first, didn’t she tell you? I loved her first and she loved me. Tell him, Rachel. Tell him the things you did for me.”
My stomach turns and I hold back the vomit that threatens to come up. The thought that he touched her is almost more than I can take.
But the other realization —that I’d asked her if anyone had touched her before, and she’d said no— snakes over my skin like poison. Why couldn’t she tell me?
Rachel’s voice cuts through the darkness. “You don’t love me and I don’t love you. You made me do those things.”
My hands are shaking, every second ticks inside me as I try to figure out how to get that knife away from her throat and trained on me instead.
“You’re not taking this from me, Chandler. You always had to be the good son. The golden child. Well, not this time. Of all the women in the world, you had to try to take her while I was locked up? Do you hate me so much that you’d do this just to take her from me?” Leander shifts another foot to the left, the knife scraping up and down her throat. “You could have anyone. You’re not getting her.”
“I don’t hate you.” It’s the truth, I feel nothing for him. Not a wisp of family loyalty, pity, hate or connection.
Nothing.
My indifference is as solid as the cold lead I wish I could drive through his skull.
Five feet separates us. I’m on all fours, and I dig the heel of my right boot into the dirt, the toe of my left taking the weight as I shift forward. My fingers dig into the wet ground and every muscle fiber pulses with adrenaline.
I swear I smell her fear and there are ways I wish to hurt him that would make the devil proud.
I explode forward the moment I see their silhouettes shift another step toward the corner of the house. Every inch of my height fills the space between us, and I catch a handful of Leander’s pant leg as Rachel stamps her boot down on his other foot.
He releases her with a grunt, but I’m on my belly, helpless as the first blunt explosion of pain hits me in the center of my back.
“Run!” I scream.
“No!” Rachel’s horrified voice hits me at the same moment the second blow hits the center of my back. I flip over just as Leander raises a knife for a third try, my eyes are unfocused and all I see is the moon on the silver blade as it comes down.
My hands find his wrist but it’s too late. I slow down his momentum, but the knife hits me in the center of my chest. He’s struggling to dig it in farther, but my hands strain at his wrist, the implement hitting solid bone as Leander’s lips twist along with the blade.
“Yo
u had everything, I had nothing. Why did you have to try to take her?” Leander drops down on top of me, smashing a knee into my throat and I see stars.
“Run, Rachel,” I manage to croak out as the pain courses through my body. I shift and reach up, digging into his arm, but I feel like I’m drowning with his weight on my throat.
He’s going to kill me but that thought is vague. All I care about is making sure that he dies with me and never touches her again.
“Don’t,” I whisper, looking up to see Leander’s dead eyes trained on me, my hands gripping his wrist as he lifts the knife over my chest pressing down as I’m pushing up.
I’m flinging my body back and forth, but his knee is crushing my windpipe. I’m big, but he’s bigger, near four hundred pounds centered on my throat.
My mind is spinning. Rachel comes up behind Leander, screaming and tearing at his hair. I don’t want her here, God please, I don’t want her to see this.
In the same moment, stomping footsteps come from my left.
“That knife moves another inch...” The barrel of a shotgun comes into view above me, pressing into Leander’s temple. “...and I blow your brains out.”
Enrique’s voice startles me as he pulls the barrel back a couple inches, then slams it forward into the side of Leander’s face, throwing him off balance for a split second.
I throw my legs in the air, get a better grip on his arm, then tighten my core, slamming my legs down into the dirt and tugging Leander with me.
He is enormous. Not strong or agile, but he has all his weight bearing down on me.
I have to twist, grabbing his arm and jerking it out of the socket with a pop. Rachel stumbles back into the grass.
In two seconds Leander’s on the ground, looking up at me and Enrique. He writhes, holding onto his arm, sucking air through his teeth and blasting me with obscenities.
Enrique presses the steel barrel into the meat of his cheek, but Leander isn’t showing any fight. In the end, he’s just a coward.
I glance at Enrique and he looks up at me with that broad smile like someone had just told him something hilarious.