Tap, tap, tap.
Frankie ignored the knock on her door.
Tap, tap, tap.
“Who is it? I’m busy,” hissed Frankie.
“It’s your daddy, sweetheart. We need to talk.” Pastor scratched his balding head.
“Not now.”
“Francesca, I want to talk to you, sweetheart.” A wrinkled brow revealed Pastor’s concern.
“How many times do I have to tell y’all not to call me Francesca. Gosh,” huffed Frankie, shifting from one leg to another. “Look, I was about to go out with some friends. Can’t it wait?” she complained.
“As a matter of fact, it can’t, young lady.” With a shift of his body, Pastor directed her toward the study. “Now come with me to the study. Your friends will just have to wait.”
With folded arms, Frankie followed her father to the study. She plopped down on the sofa, still pouting. Pastor sat down next to her.
“Frances…Frankie, I need you to talk to me, sweetheart.” Pastor reached over and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. Remaining cold and stiff, Frankie refused to acknowledge him.
“Hey, look at me, baby girl. You know you can talk to me about anything.” He moved his hand from her shoulder and tenderly reached under her chin, turning his face toward his.
Sincerity was evident in Pastor’s eyes. He was a kind soul and Frankie loved him so much.
“Pastor, there’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I know you, Frankie. Something is bothering you. You think I haven’t noticed the change in you over the past months? Your room, the way you dress, the way you walk around like you’re angry at the world. Baby, please tell me how I can help you?” Pastor grasped Frankie’s hands and pleaded with his child.
“Okay, so I changed my room, and I like to be more relaxed when it comes to my clothes, so what? Does that make something wrong with me? I don’t think so. Even if there was something wrong, you wouldn’t understand. Believe me, you wouldn’t.” Twisting out of his reach, Frankie’s agitation mounted. “I just wish everyone would leave me alone. Let me be me.”
“Okay, have it your way, but you’re wrong about me. There’s nothing you can’t tell me. Nothing at all.”
Tears formed in her eyes and Pastor knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was something going on with his child. If only he could reach her. What had happened to make her so cold and isolated? “Talk to me, Frankie.”
Frankie quickly wiped her eyes. “I said, there’s nothing wrong with me,” she yelled without looking at him.
“You’re not fooling me. But I’ll do as you ask. I’ll leave you alone.” Pastor stood up, and then reached down and took hold of Frankie’s hand to pull her up. When she stood, Pastor embraced her tightly. He felt her body stiffen and then she surrendered to the comfort he hoped she’d found in his arms.
“I’ve got to go, Pastor.” She moved outside of his embrace.
“I know. Your friends are waiting on you.”
“Yeah, they are.” Frankie dashed out of the study. On the other side of the closed door, she paused. “If only I could tell you, Daddy,” she whispered. Fresh tears gathered while she ran out the door.
Frankie’s name was added to the roles of the juvenile system soon after she turned sixteen. The day that Audrey Graham was called to the school marked the ultimate public embarrassment for the Graham family.
Frankie and a small group of girls assaulted a boy who allegedly teased them about their appearances every day over the last few weeks.
“You girls look more like thuggish boys.” Audrey’s tongue reeked with criticism. This is so humiliating,” she cried.
Frankie glared at her mother and rolled her chocolate brown eyes. She expressed no sympathy for anyone. Those tears cascading down her mother’s cheeks only made her harder.
Frankie heard snickering behind her back. Jerking around, she looked like smoke was about to spout from the top of her head when she saw a couple of girls dressed in juvenile garb, sneering at her.
Audrey continued her tongue lashing while she waited for the intake clerk to bring her release papers to sign.
“No wonder you got teased. Do you realize that you and those, those girls almost killed that poor boy?” Audrey searched in her purse until she found tissue to wipe her eyes. “And here you are, locked up like some wild animal. I don’t understand you, Francesca. What on earth has happened to you?”
In a harsh tone, Frankie said, “My name is Frankie.” With folded arms and an emotionless expression, she turned her back against her mother.
It soon became apparent to Audrey that the one person who could get through to Frankie was Rena. For some reason, she seemed to listen to Rena. Audrey asked her to talk to Frankie about her insolent behavior. She hoped that Rena could find out what was troubling her.
Over the years, Frankie’s volatile temper could be fueled by the least of things. Soon Rena became privy to it as well. But Rena couldn’t find the strength to pull away from her best friend and secret lover.
While Rena attended the local university, Frankie hung out in the streets. She managed to secure jobs, mostly through temporary job assignments. The job she had as a receptionist for a private doctor’s office was the longest job she’d held thus far. To get away from her family, Frankie moved into a small apartment on the other side of town.
Stiles had one semester remaining before he graduated from Duke University with a degree in Religion. He planned on continuing his study for his Master’s in Theology at Duke Divinity School because his dream was to one day pastor his own church. His father’s teachings had inspired him through the years and he wanted to follow in his footsteps.
Why couldn’t his sister’s life be more like his? Why is she so miserable? Stiles thought from time to time. Some where along the way, Frankie had made a 360 degree turn in her life. That turn had lead down a path of self-destruction.
Rena spent as much time as she could with her mixed up friend. But she had her life to live too. When her father was transferred back to Massachusetts during her freshman year of college, with their blessing, Rena made the decision not to return with them.
After she received her bachelor’s degree in Library Science, Rena secured a job as a librarian in Marion, Arkansas. She leased a nice apartment for herself. Living in Marion, though it wasn’t far from the big city of Memphis, enabled her to have some much needed distance from Frankie. Unbeknownst to Frankie, Rena dated guys from time to time. She had to be more than careful whenever she did because the consequences she would have to pay if Frankie discovered her infidelity was something Rena didn’t want to think about.
Rena answered her cell phone. “Hello, Mrs. Graham. How are you?”
“I don’t know, honey. Have you heard from Francesca lately? We haven’t heard from her in over a week. Pastor is worried and so am I. Her cell phone is disconnected and I’ve been by her apartment, but there was no answer.”
“I talked to her earlier today. She called me at the library. She’s fine as far as I know. I told her that I would pick her up when I get off work. She’s going to spend the weekend with me.”
“Oh, thank God. I’ll let Pastor know. I don’t understand her. I really don’t. And you, you’re such a sweet girl. You’re really a good friend to Francesca.” At times Audrey simply refused to call her daughter Frankie. It would be too much like acknowledging that the girl she gave birth to no longer existed.
Rena began to feel uneasy the more Audrey Graham talked. If only she knew the real deal about me and Frankie. She wouldn’t think so well of me then.
“Mrs. Graham, Frankie will be fine. We just have to keep praying for her. She’s confused about her purpose in life, that’s all,” Rena told her.
“I don’t know how long it’s going to take for her to find her purpose, if that’s what it is. The girl is twenty-four years old. She’s not a child anymore. It’s time she took responsibility for her actions.”
“I’m glad you have faith in her. Well, look, I’m not going to hold you. But when you pick her up, will you tell her that her brother will be home this weekend. We’re going to have a welcome home dinner for him this Sunday at the church. I want her there. She missed out on his graduation from divinity school because as you know, she refused to go with us to North Carolina.”
“Yes, I know. But she had to work.” Rena made one excuse after another on Frankie’s behalf. “She couldn’t take off. You know how that goes.”
“If she would hold on to a job and establish some good work ethics, then she would be able to take off from time to time. I was a second grade teacher for seventeen years before I retired. Before that I worked in Human Resources and I’ve never, and I mean never, gotten fired from a job. As for Pastor, well you know that man won’t miss a Sunday or a Thursday from church. All you have to do is say the word ‘church’ and he’s there. He doesn’t care if he’s sick or not, he’s going to church.
“I know, Mrs. Graham. I know.”
Audrey continued to talk, without acknowledging she had heard Rena’s response. “Even Stiles has the same work ethics. And Francesca, well you know just as well as I do that the girl won’t come near a church. I just don’t understand it. I know God says He won’t put more on us than we can bear, but Lord knows it sure gets hard sometimes, especially when your own child wants nothing to do with God or the church.”
Rena listened to Audrey going on and on about Frankie until she couldn’t take it anymore. “Well, I’m afraid I have to go now, Mrs. Graham. I need to get back to work. I’ll be sure to let Frankie know that Stiles is coming home.”
“Thank you, Rena. Oh, you know that I don’t have to invite you to be there. You’re just like family to us. We’ll see you Sunday. And please see if you can get that daughter of mine to call home.”
“Yes, ma’am. I will. Bye now,” Rena said and closed her razor phone.
Rena glanced at her watch. It was almost six thirty. She finished placing the rest of the books on the shelf before going to her office to grab her purse. She had to drive over to Memphis to pick up Frankie from the Criminal Justice Center. There was no way she was going to tell Mrs. Graham that Frankie was in jail again. This time Frankie had been caught shop lifting out of Macy’s department store. Rena was tired of bailing her out. But as usual, Frankie always had some magical way of making Rena feel sorry for her.
Rena drove her orange and black Honda Element across the bridge. She became lost in her thoughts as she imagined what Stiles looked like. It had been almost four years ago since she’d last seen him. He was always a handsome sort of guy. Medium build, with skin the color of brown sugar and teeth as white as the driven snow. She used to have a crush on him in high school, but he was such a ladies’ man then, and anyway he treated her like she was his little sister. Then when Rena and Frankie started their relationship, she pushed Stiles totally out of her mind. Rena wondered if he planned on moving back to Memphis or if he was just coming to visit.
Rena exited off the freeway on to Poplar Avenue. Parking across the street from the Criminal Justice Center, she jumped out and ran inside, being careful to brush her shoulder length, curly brown hair in place with her hands. Her lean figure was much like that of a fashion model. Her almost white skin and dark eyes, added a sense of mystery to her. She was indeed an attractive young woman─the kind that turned men’s heads when she walked pass.
“I am tired of doing this. Lord, forgive me,” she mumbled to herself, knowing full well that although she’d ask for God’s forgiveness numerous times, she was not about to break it off with Frankie. She couldn’t. She didn’t know how.
Rena had to wait two hours for Frankie to be released. She had posted her bail the night before, but the criminal system took its own sweet time when it came to releasing their inmates. When Frankie finally walked out into the jail corridor, Rena breathed a sigh of welcome relief. Frankie looked haggard and exhausted. Her eyes were blood shot like she hadn’t slept in days. The white sleeveless t-shirt she had on and the baggy jeans were definitely in need of a good washing.
“Hey, there.” Frankie said, approaching Rena.
“Hi, yourself. Come on, let’s go,” Rena told her.
“I need to go by my crib first, you know.”
“No, I didn’t know, but I should have figured as much.” Irritation seeped from Rena’s voice. “Look, you’ve got to get yourself together. I’m tired of bailing you out of jail. For one thing, I don’t have the money, and the other thing is that you’re making life harder and harder for yourself, and for me,” Rena added. “Not to mention your folks are worried about you,” Rena said as they climbed in the truck and headed to Frankie’s apartment.
“I know you didn’t tell them I was locked up,” Frankie yelled at Rena.
“Of course not.” Rena leaned closer to the door. “I’m just saying they’re concerned about you, Frankie. You should understand that.”
“No, what you’re saying is that my mother called you and laid the guilt trip on you again, didn’t she?” Frankie stared at her then snatched her seat belt on.
Rena didn’t say a word at first. Frankie could almost always tell when Audrey Graham had contacted Rena.
“Yeah, she did. But everything she said is true.” Rena chose her words carefully and spoke them just as calm. “Anyway, she said that Stiles is coming home. They’re having a dinner for him this Sunday, at church, and your mother wants you there.”
“I don’t know about that. They’ll want me to dress up and act like I’m just so elated to be at church, when you know that ain’t the case.”
“Frankie?”
“What.”
“Why do you hate church so much? There was a time you loved it. When we were young, you were the one who was at the church house every chance you got.”
“That was back then. Things happen, okay? I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I hear you, but I still want you to come Sunday. I don’t think any one will be looking at how you’re dressed. Everyone will just be glad to see you. Come, please?” Rena pleaded.
“I’ll think about it,” Frankie responded while scanning the radio stations in search of her all time favorite hip hop music. “Did you check on my place while I was locked up?”
Rena took a deep breath and stared at Frankie. “Don’t I always?”
“Thanks. I knew I could count on you.”
“You missed my point. I don’t have time to check on your stuff every time you decide you want to spend a few days in jail.” Rena answered angrily.
They pulled up in front of Frankie’s apartment. “Let me run upstairs and grab some clothes. It won’t take long. You comin’ up with me or what?”
“I guess.”
Frankie’s studio apartment was tidy. Luckily the apartment came furnished. It wasn’t the best but it satisfied Frankie, especially since utilities and cable were included. It worked out great for because she barely could cover her monthly rent, not to mention any additional expenses.
Rena plopped down on the arm of the weathered sofa and waited for Frankie to finish gathering a couple of outfits. “I hope you get something that you can wear on Sunday.”
“I didn’t say I was going yet, so don’t start sweating me about it,” Frankie retorted, coming over and positioning herself in front of Rena.
“For God’s sake, we’re talking about your brother, not some stranger. You haven’t seen him in I don’t know when. Somehow you’re always conveniently unavailable,” Rena said while raising her hands up and making air quotations.
“I said stop lecturing me?” Frankie yelled.
Rena held her head down, cowering away from Frankie. Knowing how Frankie’s temper could change at the drop of a dime, Rena didn’t want it to reveal itself today.
“Okay, have it your way. I won’t say another word. Do you have what you’re
taking with you?”
“Yea, let’s vamp. Girl, I need a smoke. Stop at the corner store. I need to grab a pack of Black ‘n Milds.”
That was another pet peeve of Rena’s. Frankie smoked. After months of pleading, Rena had finally managed to convince Frankie not to smoke in her apartment. Frankie didn’t like being told what to do, but agreed to go out on Rena’s patio to smoke when she came over. But the scent of the cigars and weed lingered in Frankie’s clothing and on her breath. Rena tried her best to ignore the stench but there were times it almost made her sick. Frankie could care less. That was just how she was about everything. Selfish, Rena surmised.
What had happened to Frankie over the years? Rena could never quite figure it out. Maybe it was destined for some people to travel down the road of life that seemed carefree and easy, but full of trouble. Frankie was such a person. She had no idea that the road she’d chosen to take led to nowhere fast. Somehow, someway, Rena had begun to realize that the best thing for her to do was to break away from Frankie. But was it possible? And if it was, how?
6
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and has made the Lord his hope and confidence. Jeremiah 17:7
Stiles checked his luggage and proceeded to the boarding gate. Within twenty minutes of arriving, he heard the agent calling his flight. Boarding the plane, he shuffled to his mid-row seat next to the window. Stiles loved being in the air, surveying God’s wondrous works. There was nothing more beautiful to him, nothing more magnificent and heavenly than flying among the clouds. It was his favorite time to meditate about the marvelous creation of God. He was in awe of his surroundings. He laid his head against the seat after reading several passages from his Bible and his mind drifted to his family and home. There were times he thought about how different his life might have been had his real father been alive.
My Son's Wife Page 3