20
No matter how badly your heart is broken, the world does not stop for your grief. Unknown
With the fight gone out of her, Frankie relented and moved in with her parents after being discharged from the hospital. She had no place else to go even if she wanted to. Unable to rid her mind of what the doctor told her, she sunk into a deep depression. She didn’t want to be bothered with any one. If only she could be left alone, but with the casts still on her legs and her arm in a sling, she could barely do anything for herself. She was at the mercy of others, something she despised.
Audrey did her best to help take care of Frankie. She wanted to bring in a Certified Nurse Assistant but Rena volunteered to help Audrey since she hadn’t started her new job.
It was difficult for Rena to watch Frankie lying helplessly in bed day after day. Rena did everything she could to try to cheer her up, but it seemed the harder she tried to make her laugh, the deeper Frankie withdrew.
“Frankie, you have to pull yourself out of this funk you’re in. You’re not behaving like the Frankie I know. I’d rather see you screaming at me instead of laying here in this bed like you have nothing to live for,” Rena told her one day.
“I don’t have anything to live for. My life is over.”
“Come on, Frankie. Why are you talking like this? You know as well as I do that it’s going to take some time for you to completely recover. That car accident was no joke. You were seriously injured.”
Rena sat on the edge of Frankie’s bed, preparing her medications for the day. She began to study each one of the bottles, something she hadn’t taken the time to do before. “I know what some of these pills are for, and the other ones I don’t have a clue as to what they’re supposed to be helping,” Rena commented. “Looks like a mini pharmacy in here.” Rena eyed the bottles of meds sitting on Frankie’s nightstand.
“Look, why don’t you leave. I really don’t feel like your snooping around.” Frankie managed to turn over in the bed with her back facing Rena.
“Come on, take your medicine. After I get you cleaned up I’ll leave you alone to rest. How’s that?”
Frankie managed to look over her shoulder and glare at Rena with burning hostility. “I don’t need you coming around here pretending like you’re so concerned about me. Don’t you think you should be getting ready for your wedding Saturday?”
“I want to be here for, Frankie.” Rena attempted to touch Frankie’s hand but decided against it. “As for the wedding, everything is ready. Oh, and Pastor said he would make sure to have someone help to get you into the church.”
“Don’t bother, I’m not going. I’ve told you that more than once. You and Momma are getting on my nerves, trying to force me to come to that stupid, fake wedding.”
“Frankie, don’t do this. I want you there. It’s bad enough that you aren’t going to be my maid of honor, but for you not to be at the wedding at all. I mean, what will…”
“I know what you’re about to say, Audrey number two. What will people think? Well, I don’t give a darn what they think. If you want to act like you’re head over heels in love, go ‘head. But I’m not going to be a part of your charade. And another thing, have you bothered to tell him about me and you yet?” Frankie looked over her shoulder again, this time to see the expression on Rena’s face.
“No, no I haven’t.” Her body stiffened in shock, “And I don’t plan on telling him. There’s no need. Stiles knows that we’ve always been best friends. There’s no need to elaborate on anything else that happened in the past between us. You know for yourself that it would destroy a lot of people’s lives if they knew about us.”
“Now you want to get all sensitive on me. Girl, puhleeze. Get on outta here. I need time to think about when I should tell my brother about his little bride. Before or after the wedding,” Frankie snarled and then started coughing so hard until she began to sweat.
Rena circled around the bed to face Frankie. She reached over and touched her. “Frankie, I know you aren’t going to do that. You’ll ruin my life. Please, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. But promise me that you won’t tell Stiles, or anyone else, about us.” Rena cried and fell down to her knees on the side of the bed, tugging at Frankie’s side.
Without so much as an ounce of emotion in her voice, Frankie answered, “Your tears don’t mean a thing to me. Why should they? Nobody has ever cared about me. Not even my own mother. It’s always been Stiles this, and Stiles that. She thinks the sun rises and sets on him. But me, she despises me and you know it, Rena. I used to think that you were the only one who cared about me, but you’re just like her and all the rest. You’re a phony, a hypocrite just like she is. Now get out of my room before I start screaming,” Frankie yelled between coughs. “And you don’t want me to start screaming because if I do I’m going to spill my guts, and you and no one else will be able to stop me,” Frankie said angrily.
Rena, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands, got up off her knees and practically ran out of Frankie’s room, closing the door behind her. Her heart was beating so fast she thought she would collapse. What am I going to do? Oh God, help me through this. Please don’t let Frankie tell it. Please.
“Rena, sweetheart,” she heard Audrey calling her.
Rena rushed inside the hall bathroom before Audrey saw her. Closing the door behind her, she answered, “I’m in the bathroom, Audrey. I’ll be out in just a minute.”
“Take your time,” Audrey answered back.
Several minutes later, Rena opened the door when she no longer heard Audrey’s voice. The door to Frankie’s room remained closed. She prayed that her face wouldn’t expose the fear she felt as she walked up the hallway. Entering the kitchen, Rena saw Audrey on the porch talking to one of the neighbors who lived across the street. As usual, Audrey’s arms were flailing and she appeared to be dominating the conversation. Rena sat down on the stool at the kitchen island and rested her head in the palms of her hands. How could Frankie be so wicked? It has to be jealousy, Rena thought. Why else would she threaten me?
Audrey finally came inside. “Honey, are you all right? You were in the bathroom a mighty long time.”
“Yes, I’m fine, Audrey. Just a little upset stomach, that’s all.”
“You have wedding jitters. But it’ll all be over in a couple of days. Then you and my baby can live happily ever after.” A satisfied smile pursed Audrey’s full lips. She leaned over and squeezed Rena’s shoulders before pecking her on the cheek. “What do you say we go over some last minute details for the wedding?” Audrey picked up the paper and pen off the table and looked over the list of items. “I want to make sure we haven’t left anything off. Did you tell Francesca that we’ve made arrangements to get her to the wedding?” Audrey’s eyes were hopeful.
“Yes, I told her. But she’s not going to come. I guess that’s understandable. She’s been through a lot these past few months.” Rena found it hard to maintain her composure, but she had to if she didn’t want Audrey to suspect that anything was wrong.
“I guess you’re right. That’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”
“What are you talking about?” Confused, Rena crinkled her face and slightly tilted her head.
“Your compassionate and forgiving spirit.” Audrey smiled at Rena. “Anyway, enough of that. Come on,” she patted the chair next to her, “let’s go over this list again. When Meryl returns tomorrow, we’re going to be busy putting the final touches in place.”
Later that evening, after Rena, Audrey and Meryl made their final inputs for the wedding; Meryl accepted Audrey’s invitation to spend the night at Emerald Estates. After preparing for bed, she paused as she reached Francesca’s door, and tapped. “Francesca, honey it’s Meryl. May I come in?”
Frankie refused to answer. She didn’t want to see anyone, definitely not Rena’s mother. Meryl knocked several more times before turning the knob and peaking inside the room. Frankie closed her eyes and it appeared a
s if she was sleeping peacefully. Not wanting to disturb her, Meryl closed the door and left.
Frankie opened her eyes when she was certain Meryl had left. She reached for the phone and called Kansas.
Over the next two days, Rena, Meryl and Audrey had little time to devote to Frankie, so Audrey relented and called in a Certified Nursing Assistant to assist with Frankie’s care.
The morning before the wedding, Rena turned the knob and walked inside Frankie’ bedroom, without knocking.
“You didn’t hear me tell you to come in,” Frankie said.
“Okay, so you’ve made your point.” Rena didn’t feel like any of Frankie’s over dramatic antics. “I stopped by to check on you. I know I haven’t been around much these past couple of days, but this wedding has kept me going. How do you feel this morning?”
“Besides the fact that I’m stuck here in this bed, in this house, with you people, I guess you can say that I’m just fine.” Frankie answered cuttingly.
Rena stood next to Frankie’s bed with an awkward, uncomfortable look outlined on her face.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your wedding?” Frankie remarked sarcastically.
“I will not entertain your insults and curt remarks today, Frankie. I hoped that you would be happy for me, and that your attitude about this whole thing somehow might have softened up a bit.”
“No, you couldn’t have expected that. Anyway, go on. I hope you and Stiles have the kinda life you two deserve.” Frankie turned her face away from Rena and stared at the wall instead.
“Have it your way. I don’t know what else to say, or do, to make things right. I thought our friendship meant much more to you than this.” Rena sighed heavily and walked away. By the time she reached the door and turned the handle, the words spewed like vomit from Frankie’s mouth and made Rena’s knees go weak and her head swim.
“I thought you might want to know that I have genital herpes.”
21
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible. Mother Teresa
Rena began to hyperventilate as she stumbled out of Frankie’s room. Holding on to the sides of the patterned wallpaper walls, trying to catch her breath, she made it to the hall bathroom. Her head spun like she had been on a drinking binge all night. This should have been the best day of her life but now, thanks to Frankie, her hideous past life was about to be brought from the dark into the light. Rena faced the most traumatic turn of events, she just didn’t know when, where or what time.
“Herpes? No, she has to be lying. She’ll do anything to make me miserable before my wedding. Yes, that’s it. That’s exactly what she’s trying to do, “Rena continued talking to the flushed, red tear streaked face staring back at her in the mirror. “It’s not going to work.” She managed to release a fake snicker. “Frankie always was a drama queen. And to think, I was about to fall for her bull.” Rena kept trying to convince herself that everything was a hoax. Oh how she prayed it was.
Rena’s heart continued to beat thunderously against her chest. She ran cold water and dapped her face with it. Inhaling, she dried her hands on the thick, swanky hand towels and waltzed back toward Frankie’s room. For once and for all, I am not going to let you ruin my wedding day. Pastor appeared and thwarted her plans.
“How’s my daughter-in-law to be?” he asked with outstretched arms as she came near him.
“A little nervous,” she committed shakily as she allowed him to embrace her.
“The First Lady should be returning from the church in just a few minutes. You know that woman, she has to make sure every I is dotted and every T is crossed. I ran into Meryl too. She wanted me to tell you that we need to be at church in a couple of hours for the rehearsal dinner. She’s going to the hotel to make sure you’re everyone else is get ready on time.”
“Thanks for telling me. She called me earlier and told me too. Pastor,” Rena paused. She had no idea what was about to come out of her mouth.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Pastor focused his full attention on Rena.
“I, well what if I’m not doing the right thing? I want to be a good wife. But I don’t feel like, well like I’m good enough.”
“Come with me for a minute,” Pastor urged and led her by the hand into his study. Have a seat.” He pointed to the brown leather sofa. “Now you listen to me, young lady. You are a wonderful person. You’re kind, you’re intelligent, you love my son, but even more important than that, you love God. One day you’re going to make a fine first lady. You’ve been part of this family since you were a teenager. And you and Frankie are the best of friends. The First Lady adores you, and both us know that if First Lady loves you, then you must be something special.” ” Pastor chuckled and continued. “As for Stiles, the two of you are perfect for each other. You’re nervous and that’s normal. But remember that God’s word says, ‘He who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing,’ and you are a good thing, Rena. Don’t let the enemy poison your mind with negative thoughts. This wedding is something Audrey has wanted for Stiles for a long time. And I don’t think he could have chosen a more perfect bride than you.”
“Thank you, Pastor.” Rena felt like the phony Frankie told her she was, sitting in front of Pastor knowing full well that her life was far from what everyone believed it to be.
Pastor’s words began to disconnect with Rena’s spirit. All she could hear were Frankie’s words ringing in her ear, “I have genital herpes. I have genital herpes” Over and over again, the words kept growing louder and louder in her mind.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay, my dear?” Pastor asked, massaging her hand gently.
“Yes, I’ll be fine. I’m going to push these negative thoughts aside.”
Suddenly, they heard Audrey bursting through the door, calling out Rena’s name.
“I’m in the study,” Rena responded.
Audrey walked toward Pastor and kissed him briefly on the top of his gray balding head. “Rena, come on, it’s time for you to start getting your things together. We don’t want to rush and forget anything. We have to be back at the church by six o’clock.” Audrey glanced at her shining diamond encrusted watch that Pastor had given her last Christmas.
Rena stood, and then looked at Pastor with admiration. She paused before leaving. “Thank you, Pastor.”
Audrey stared first at Pastor then at Rena. “What’s going on? Thanks for what?”
“Oh nothing, honey. Rena and I just had a little pre-father-in-law daughter-in-law talk. That’s all.” This time it was Pastor’s turn to stand. “While you ladies are getting things together, I’m going to go and sit with my Frankie and see how she’s doing. I know she’s terribly disappointed that she won’t be able to be at the wedding tomorrow.”
“Honey, not to worry. We’re having it placed on DVD. Now come along, Rena.” Audrey motioned her long thin hands.
Despite the wave of nausea that washed over her, Rena managed to go through the motions of getting ready for the wedding, smiling for the photographers and pretending like she didn’t have a care in the world. When it was time to line up for the wedding, she heard Frankie’s words playing in her mind. “I have genital herpes.” She thought she was about to faint. She turned to her mother.
“Honey, what’s wrong? Nervous bride?” her mother asked after noticing the pale look on her daughter’s face.
“Momma, I don’t know if I can go through with this.”
“Honey, you’re going to be just fine. It happens to the best of us. You should have seen me on my wedding day. When I married your father I thought I had come down with the flu. I was sweating, feverish, sick to my stomach, the whole nine yards. But as soon as we exchanged vows, all I felt was peace and calmness. You’ll see for yourself. You look so beautiful, Rena,” her mother complimented, after trying to reassure Rena that she was going to be fine.
“Thank you, Momma.”
Meryl embraced her daughter. “Now, come on, we have a wedding to attend.”
Rena looked gorgeous in her white satin and chiffon dress. She moved cautiously until she stood next to the man of her dreams.
Gazing into one another’s eyes, they pledged their love to one another.
Stiles began his promises. “I, Stiles, take you, Rena, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know.”
Rena was frozen in limbo, and her mind reeled out of control as she listened to the promises that Stiles spoke.
“I promise I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you,” he said with tears glistening in his eyes. “Loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together.”
“I, Rena, take you, Stiles, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more every day.”
Stiles looked at Rena with eyes that seemed to penetrate her soul. He ended his vows by saying, “Rena, I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live. Love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.”
On the outside, Rena glowed with beauty and her mouth upturned in a smile shaped in love. On the inside, she felt deceitful and dirty as Pastor pronounced them, husband and wife.
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