“Well, I’ll be back after I check on Frankie. I want to here all about Madidi’s.” Walking away, Stiles stopped midway the family room and remarked teasingly, “I might have to start keeping tabs on you two lovebirds.”
“Boy, gone on now and check on your sister. Tell her that I’ll be in there later.” Joy bubbled in Audrey’s laugh and shone in her eyes.
Stiles turned and walked away. He tapped on Frankie’s door.
“Come in.”
“Hey, there.”
Frankie was sitting in her gingham covered recliner with the remote in one hand and a Jolie DuPre novel in the other.
“Hey, yourself,” she answered, looking up at her handsome brother. “So you’re back from your honeymoon, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Did you have a good time?” She looked and listened for any sign that Rena had told him but it was obvious she hadn’t after hearing how happy he sounded.
“Yea, as a matter of fact, we had a wonderful time. But Rena probably told you already.”
“I haven’t heard from Rena.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Was I supposed to?”
“Not really. She said she was going to come by to check on you while she was out, that’s all. But I’m here, and that’s what matters.” He leaned over and kissed Frankie on her forehead.
“Don’t tell me you suspicious of yo bride already?” asked Frankie as she watched him with smug delight.
“Who, me? Now you of all people, know me better than that. I’m not the jealous type.”
“Every man is the jealous type,” Frankie rebuffed.
Stiles changed the subject. “When are you going to come out of those casts?”
“I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. They’re sposed to cut ‘em off. I’ll wear somethin’ called a boot walker for nine weeks and do some physical therapy. Doc says I’m likely gonna have a limp for the rest of my life. As for my arm, it actually feels pretty good. The swelling has almost gone away completely.”
“Everything’s going to be fine. I’ve been keeping you in my prayers. The sister I know is not going to let a little thing like being banged up from a car accident stop her, I know,” he joked.
“Naw, it’s gonna take somethin’ worse than that to keep this girl down.”
“I heard that. Well, I’ll let you get back to reading your novel and watching TV. How you do both at the same time, I have no idea.” His head tilted back when he chuckled.
“It’s called multi-taskin’. Frankie laughed.
Stiles bent down and kissed her on the back of her hand and then on her forehead.
“Take it easy, sis. Audrey said she’ll be in here later to check on you.”
“Dang, you just had to find a way to ruin my day, didn’t cha?”
Grinning, Stiles said, “Call and let me know if they cut off those things tomorrow.” He pointed at her casts while walking to the door.
“Sure thang.”
Stiles talked to his parents about their lunch at Madidi’s. After close to an hour of non-stop chatter from Audrey about their day’s adventure, not allowing Pastor to barely get a word in, Stiles told them he was going to leave.
He turned the engine and eyed his rearview mirror. His cell phone rang with the lyrics, Every time you hold me, Hold me like this is the last time. He smiled as he listened to Alicia Keyes, knowing it was Rena on the other end.
“Hi, sweetheart. I’m on my way home. Where are you?” she asked him.
“Just pulling off from your in-laws. They wanted to know where my beautiful bride had run off to.”
“Did you tell them that I had some errands to run?”
“Sure. But as you know, Audrey had to behave like the diva she is. She and Daddy went to Morgan Freeman’s restaurant in Clarksdale today. They said they had an unbelievable time.”
“Oooh, that sounds so romantic. Just think about it, baby, we have our entire lives to do things like that. And Frankie? How was she? I had every intention of getting over there, but time went by so fast.”
“No need to worry. They’re all fine. Frankie might get her casts off tomorrow.”
“That’s great news. I know she’ll be glad. Baby, I was thinking about ordering some take-out from Applebee’s, unless you have other plans.”
“Take-out sounds fine. And the plans I have include being alone with my wife. Monday morning will be here before we know it, which means I want to spend this weekend with the woman of my dreams,” Stiles flirted over the cell phone.
Listening to Stiles, Rena’s heart fluttered as she imagined lying inside the curve of his muscular arms. “You will, baby. I promise you that,” she returned in her own sexy voice. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, love.”
Rena pulled into Applebee’s Restaurant and went inside and ordered food for her and Stiles. When she returned outside twenty minutes later, the wind had picked up and the sudden drop of the temperature chilled her to the bones. She hurried and climbed inside SUV. Once inside, she dialed her in-laws. The person she wanted to talk to answered the phone.
“What is it?” Frankie asked without saying hello.
“My tests results were all negative. You were probably lying all along. You’re so evil, Francesca,” Rena snarled, knowing how Frankie hated the name, Francesca. The sound of Rena’s voice revealed her apparent anger.
“If you wanna believe I lied, so be it. But it is what it is.”
“Don’t start again, Frankie. Because of your lies, I have to be tested for HIV every six months for the next two years.
“I don’t know why you gotta do that. I didn’t say nothing about havin’ no HIV. You’re the one that’s full of crap.”
“If you knew anything about anything, then you would know that when you go to the health department, they test for all STDs. You should try it sometime,” Rena barked. “I don’t understand you. As good as I’ve been to you. Why would you put me through something like this?”
“Do what to you? You are so full of it, you know that, Frankie exclaimed. “Have you for one minute thought about what I have to deal with? I’m sitting here in this room, barely able to do anything for myself and then I have to sit here and live with the fact that I have herpes and I’m going to be crippled the rest of my life. And you have the nerve to accuse me of being a liar. My God, if Audrey and Pastor find out me, I’ll never hear the end of Audrey’s mouth about how embarrassed she is, and what a terrible, twisted daughter she and Pastor produced. I’m tired, Rena. I’m sick and I’m tired. But nobody seems to give a doggone about me.”
You’re right. Frankie, I’m so sorry. How could I be so selfish? You must be going through changes too. That’s what you expect me to say? Well, I don’t feel sorry for you any more. You did this to yourself, but you won’t do it to me ever again. I’m married to Stiles. He loves me and I love him. You will never be able to change that.”
The shock of Rena’s words caused Frankie’s words to become lodged in her throat. Her fury toward Rena mounted. “Yea, whatever,” Frankie responded. “But remember this one thang, sweetie, time will tell. It always does.” Frankie hung up the phone abruptly.
Surprised at the way she talked up to Frankie, Rena drove the rest of the way home as if her car had a mind of its own. Suppose Frankie is telling the truth? Suppose she does have herpes? Then what? What if she really does tell Stiles? I’ve really pissed her off. Before Rena realized it, she had made the right on Berry Hill Drive. Pushing the remote, she eased inside of the garage and parked next to Stiles. For the next several minutes, she sat in the car, hoping to regain some composure.
Reaching for the bag of food, Rena stepped out of her car. With each step, her legs seemed to grow heavier as the weight of her bevy of lies and deceit grew deeper, but for now she couldn’t afford to worry. She had enough worries to last two lifetimes. As for tomorrow, it would have to take care of itself.
“Stiles, baby…I’m home.”
22
&nbs
p; There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy. Jean Anouilh
Rena was tested again during the seven months she’d been married. Thank God, the HIV test came back negative again, yet, she couldn’t dispel her ‘what about the next time’ thoughts. From what she read in the brochure at the Health Department, contracting HIV through lesbian sex was rare, but it increased if one, or both, partners had herpes. Determined to believe that Frankie lied about having the STD as a way to ruin things between her and Stiles, Rena continued to think, what if.
Nearing the one year mark of her marriage, Rena made up her mind to let go and let God, without understanding exactly what the words meant. She stayed away from Frankie as much as possible to avoid confrontations. When it came to Stiles, Rena couldn’t bring herself to become overly anxious to indulge in sex with him. She tried to be the wife Stiles deserved, and she hated herself for freezing up when he reached out to make love to her.
All too soon, reality knocked and Rena was reminded about the uncertainty of life. The morning of their one year wedding anniversary, she was awakened by a tingling, burning sensation between her legs. It was the beginning of the worse time of her life. She looked at Stiles sleeping on his back with a peaceful look on his face. She stared with longing at him, taken off guard by the sudden lurch of excitement mounting within her.
Easing out of the king-sized bed, Rena tipped into the master bath. Opening the vanity cabinet, she reached for her magnifying make-up mirror then took a seat on the toilet. Spreading her legs, she viewed her private areas and almost fainted when she saw a cluster of red ulcer like sores spread on her genital area. Oh, no. No, God. Please not this, she screamed within. Unable to remove the mirror, she kept staring, hoping she would wake up and find that she had a nightmare. The tingling sensation intensified, accompanied by a slight throbbing. Hot tears poured down her face as she bent over. When the mirror fell from her hand, crashing on to the cold, ceramic tile, Rena was startled.
“Rena, Rena,” she heard Stiles’s voice calling her from the other side of the bathroom door. “Are you all right in there?”
“Yes, I’m…I’m fine, honey. I dropped my make-up mirror. I guess I’m silly Suzy this morning,” she pretended to joke.
“Be careful, sweetheart.”
“I will. I’ll be out in a minute.”
You know what they say about breaking a mirror,” he joked.
Rena stood and moved in front of the wall mirror. Her eyes had begun swelling from her tears. She dashed cold water on her eyes several times hoping to reduce some of the puffiness. Going to work today was out of the question. She had to see a doctor right away. After spending time praying and sulking, Rena finally came out.
Stiles reached both hands out toward her while he sat up in bed. “You’re up mighty early. What do you say we use the extra time practicing on making our baby?” His gaze fell to the creamy expanse of her neck. “I want to start our anniversary off right. Just because we both have to go to work today, doesn’t mean we can’t do a little early morning celebrating,” he crooned sexily.
Ignoring his need for her, Rena walked to their huge walk-in closet.
“Honey, you know I need to be at work early,” she told him as she fumbled for an outfit.
Stiles’s chest deflated when Rena didn’t acknowledge his need for affection.
“What is up with you, Rena?” He could no longer hide his irritability.
“Nothing’s up with me,” Rena retorted. “I can’t help it if I have to be at work. This isn’t like my job in Marion, Stiles. I don’t know how many times we’ve discussed this.”
“That’s the problem. We’re always discussing this, as you put it, because when I want to make love to my wife, there seems to be one excuse after another why I can’t.”
Rena detected the hurt in his voice and bit her lips in dismay. She stopped shuffling through the closet and turned to face him. “Stiles, I’m sorry. I really am. But I still don’t think you’re being exactly fair either. You act like we never make love. My God, we’ve been married one year today. I didn’t know we were supposed to be counting how many times we’ve made love,” she shot back.
Stiles clenched his teeth; he was furious. It was becoming more and more difficult for him to contain his emotions. “I don’t know what to say or do anymore, Rena. One minute you treat me like I’m the best thing since sliced bread, and the next minute you’re cold as ice toward me. Sometimes I feel like a stranger to you rather than your husband.” Stiles frowned and threw back the bed covers. “My prayers for strength keep me going, but my physical desire for you is hard to hold back. What man in his right mind wouldn’t want to make love to a beautiful woman like you, Rena?
Stiles climbed out of their California king sized bed, and walked over to the closet where Rena stood. He positioned his half naked body behind her. Grabbing and pulling her next to him, he nibbled on her neck and shoulders. “It’s our anniversary,” he song sweetly in her ear.
Rena eased out of his gentle, bear like hug. “Honey, I can’t. I just told you that I have to leave early this morning.” She pulled her tomato red jersey knit dress off the hanger and eased past him, pretending that his touch meant nothing to her.
“It’s not about you having to leave early and you know it. It’s about me and you, Rena. You act like I have some contagious disease or something. Do I disgust you that much?”
Rena jumped and a big lump formed in her throat. It’s not you who’s contagious. It’s me. Oh, God, it’s me.
Laying her dress across the chair, Rena turned but barely faced him. “Look, I don’t want to argue with you this morning. And I wish you would stop being so paranoid. I love you and I think our marriage is just fine. And I’m ecstatic that today is our anniversary,” she said nervously and pecked him on the cheek, but stepped back. “I know there are times when I’m not as interested in sex as much as you’d like me to be, but I can’t help it. But you have to believe me when I say that it’s not you. It’s me, Stiles. Just give me a little more time. Please, sweetheart,” she pleaded while maintaining the distance between them.
Stiles released a heavy sigh before he spoke. “Things are fine between us, well almost. And believe me; I know that sex isn’t everything. Our marriage shouldn’t be based solely on sexual intimacy. But I’m married to a gorgeous, hot woman. I love you and it’s hard not to want you twenty four seven.”
“Just give me a little more time to get accustomed to our life together. I promise soon you’ll be begging me to let you rest,” Rena winked at him. There was no doubt in her mind he loved her, and she loved him just as much, if not more. If only she could show him she desired him just as much as he yearned for her. Every time she looked at him, her body called for his but there was no way she could submit to her urges, definitely not now. “Look, Stiles, I really need to shower and get dressed. We’ll talk later, okay?” Before he had time to answer, Rena dashed inside the bathroom again. Leaning against the closed door, she closed her eyes and heaved as her heart beat rapidly against her chest wall.
Driving down Elvis Presley Boulevard, Rena called her supervisor to inform him that she would be late reporting in to work. Next she called the doctor’s office and listened to the answering service relay the office hours. Glancing at the clock in the car for the first time, she saw that it was only 8:00. Dr. Mitchell’s office opened at 9:30. She pulled up to the drive thru of Danver’s Restaurant and ordered a cup of decaf along with a bacon and egg biscuit. After paying for her order, Rena drove toward Dr. Mitchell’s office despite the earliness. She took two bites of the sandwich and a sip of her coffee before she lost her appetite.
The burning sensation below her waist produced a flurry of thoughts. What if I do have an STD? That means I could have it passed it on to Stiles.. What will happen to me and Stiles? Will he leave me? What will my parents and the Graham’s think of me? The sound of a blaring horn brought her back to her senses. She looked across at the driver next to her just in
time to witness a red-haired woman flip her the birdie.
After fighting her way through the maddening early morning expressway traffic, Rena turned into the parking lot of Dr. Mitchell’s office, arriving at a quarter after nine. She didn’t have an appointment and she didn’t care. If she had to sit all day in order to see him, she was prepared to do so. There was no way she was going to leave until he told her what was wrong.
Calling her supervisor again after sitting in Dr. Mitchell’s waiting room for almost two hours, Rena told him know that it was unlikely that she would be coming in at all.
“Mrs. Graham, you can come back, please,” Dr. Mitchell’s nurse said as she stood in the opened door of the waiting room.
Rena followed the nurse down the hall to the lab.
She instructed her to get on the scales. “One hundred and twenty two pounds,” the nurse commented. “That’s good, now let’s get your blood pressure. You can have a seat if you’d like,” the nurse gestured at the chair in the corner. “Your pressure’s fine too. Why are you here today, Mrs. Graham?” the nurse eyed her curiously.
“Uh, well, I have some female problems that I’d like to talk to Dr. Mitchell about.”
“What kind of female problems?”
“I’d rather talk to the doctor about it, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course, come this way, please.” The nurse scribbled in Rena’s chart while she led Rena down the hall to patient room five. The nurse opened the table drawer and pulled out a disposal gown and passed it to Rena. “Remove all of your clothes and put this on. It opens in the front.”
Seeing the name on the nurse’s button, Rena replied, “Thank you, Clarice.”
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