‘Well, yes, quite,’ said Penny, her tone matter-of-fact now. ‘I mean, who wouldn’t with those devastating dark looks? Why, the man positively smoulders!’
‘Yes, well,’ Claire went on hurriedly, ‘there was a crowd of us, you see, and we joined up for meals and drinks and things.’
‘A bit like these 18 to 30 clubs you hear about?’ asked Penny. She spoke innocently enough but Claire detected a wicked glimmer in her eye.
‘No! No,’ said Claire hastily, ‘nothing like that at all. Why, one couple were there to celebrate their golden wedding…’
‘So, more like an old folks outing, then, what with those two old dears that came in today?’ said Penny, and once again the wicked gleam was back in her eyes.
‘No,’ said Claire almost in exasperation now, ‘it wasn’t like that either. There was, in fact, a very good age mix. There were several couples around our age. There was even one couple on their honeymoon…’
‘All couples, then?’ asked Penny. She spoke casually but Claire knew what she was driving at.
‘No,’ she said firmly, ‘there was a young man on his own—a student actually. His name was Archie…’
But Penny didn’t seem particularly interested in hearing about Archie. ‘So tell me about you and Dominic,’ she said.
‘Well, we seemed to hit it off straight away,’ said Claire warily. ‘Maybe it was because of the shared medical thing—I don’t know.’ She shrugged. ‘But we just seemed to get on. Mind you, that happens on holiday, doesn’t it? It always seems easy to talk to strangers. I mean, let’s face it, you don’t know anything about them and they don’t know anything about you—they haven’t heard all your stories before and you haven’t heard theirs…’
‘Get on with it, Claire,’ said Penny.
‘What?’ Claire glanced sharply at Penny then, catching sight of her expression, said, ‘Oh, right, well, like I was saying, we seemed to get on really well. Anyway, we both signed up for the Assisi trip, together with the rest of the group from the hotel.’
‘Did Dominic know about Mike at this point?’ Penny interrupted curiously.
‘Yes,’ Claire replied. ‘I told him about Mike right at the beginning.’
‘Why did you do that?’
‘I felt I had to.’
‘So you recognised that there could have been something between you from the very start?’
Claire only hesitated for a moment before replying. ‘Yes,’ she said quietly, knowing there was no earthly point in trying to fool Penny any longer, ‘I knew and so did he. That was why I had to be totally honest with him.’
‘Does he have anyone in his life?’
‘He said not.’ Claire shook her head. ‘I must say I found it hard to believe,’ she added slowly, ‘an attractive man like that, but in the end I put it down to the life he’d led. He told me all about the work he’d done in various parts of the world with children’s charities and he more or less said that he wasn’t in any one place long enough to make any sort of lasting commitment.’
‘So what happened next?’
‘We went on the Assisi trip and got caught up in the earthquake. Things changed then,’ she said slowly. ‘It’s very hard to explain but Dominic and I got thrown together even more. For a start we were the only ones with real medical knowledge, but the people we were treating weren’t strangers—they had become friends by then and it was all terribly difficult…I really can’t go into it all again, Penny. I still find it very upsetting, wondering if we could have done more…’ She broke off.
‘OK,’ said Penny calmly. ‘What about afterwards?’
‘What do you mean, afterwards?’ Claire threw Penny an uneasy glance.
‘Well, when you got back to Rome, did you come straight home after that?’
‘No,’ Claire swallowed. ‘We stayed on for a few days.’
‘Did everyone do that?’
‘No,’ Claire replied. ‘Only Dominic and me.’
‘Ah,’ said Penny, ‘so is that what this is all about—what happened after you returned to Rome?’
‘Yes,’ said Claire in a small voice, ‘I suppose it is. You see, I was pretty upset over all that had happened, and Dominic, well, he was shaken, I suppose, by the events, although he was more used to dealing with traumatic situations like that than I was. But we both felt we needed some time and space to sort ourselves out before returning to England.’
‘But none of the others felt that way?’
‘No.’ Claire shook her head. ‘I guess it was different for them because although they had injuries to deal with they didn’t have emotional trauma to cope with…’ She paused. ‘Apart from one couple who had been hoping the holiday would patch up their shaky marriage.’
‘And did it?’ asked Penny.
‘She was badly injured—remember the one I told you about with the severe head injury who later developed a blood clot? But, yes, actually, I think the whole dreadful experience may have brought them together again.’
‘Sometimes it takes something like that…’ said Penny thoughtfully. ‘Do you know what their problem was?’ she added.
‘He’d had an affair, she was finding it difficult to forgive him and he was still missing the girlfriend who had since met someone else and had a baby.’
‘Heavens—the games people play,’ said Penny, rolling her eyes. ‘But you say you felt the experience might have brought them closer?’
‘I hope so. He was certainly devastated when he thought he might lose her,’ said Claire.
‘So, getting back to you and Dominic,’ Penny went on, ‘what happened next?’
Claire took a deep breath. ‘I slept with him,’ she said bluntly. ‘Only the once,’ she said when she caught sight of Penny’s expression. ‘I couldn’t help it,’ she added. ‘I couldn’t bear the thought that I would never see him again.’
‘And you thought sleeping with him might make that easier?’ asked Penny wryly.
‘Yes, I suppose I did.’ Claire’s voice was barely more than a whisper.
‘And did it?’ Penny raised one eyebrow.
‘In one way,’ Claire said, ‘because it gave me a wonderful memory that I can draw on…but, no, in another way it simply made things worse because I knew it could never happen again. I told him that at the time,’ she explained, suddenly desperate that Penny should understand the situation and not believe the worst of her, ‘I told him that I could never see him again—that I was committed to Mike and that we would shortly be moving in together.’
‘And did he accept that?’
‘At the time I thought he had,’ Claire replied. ‘I came home and tried to get on with my life…’
‘How did you feel?’ asked Penny curiously. ‘I know you were rather stressed out but I thought that was all due to the experience you’d been through.’
‘Well, yes, and it was, partly,’ Claire explained, ‘but I felt terrible at leaving Dominic and I found I couldn’t cope with the fact that I might never see him again. And then when I saw Mike I felt so guilty…When Mike said I had to take some time off, at first I didn’t want to but then, I confess, I couldn’t wait to get away. I thought if I went to my father’s for a while I might be able to get my head straight, and to a certain extent, I suppose I did.’ Claire frowned. ‘I certainly felt a bit better when I came back to work—but then, when I found Dominic here, it was a tremendous shock and I was right back at square one again.’
‘What I can’t understand,’ said Penny slowly, ‘was how he came to be here. How did he know we wanted a locum?’
‘I’d told him,’ said Claire ruefully. ‘Right back at the beginning when we first met, we were talking about our jobs. I told him I worked here and that one of our partners was going on sabbatical. I apparently mentioned we would be replacing him with a locum.’
‘Did he indicate he was looking for a job at that time?’ asked Penny with a frown.
‘No.’ Claire shook her head. ‘Not at all. He said he’d been workin
g at an A and E department in this country because his father had been ill but that soon he would be returning abroad.’
‘But he came here instead,’ mused Penny.
‘I think he thought I would change my mind about staying with Mike,’ said Claire. ‘I told him I couldn’t,’ she went on quickly. ‘I had committed myself to Mike and he knew that. I can’t hurt Mike, Penny. Heaven knows, you know what he went through when Jan left him. I can’t be responsible for putting him through that again—and especially now when he is so worried and upset over Stephen…’
‘Hang on a minute.’ Penny held up her hand, stopping Claire in mid-flow, ‘I think there are a few things we need to get straight here.’
‘What do you mean?’ Claire stared at her.
‘Well, for a start, have you not heard the news on Stephen today?’
‘No. What?’ Sudden fear gripped Claire’s heart.
‘He’s out of danger,’ said Penny, ‘and apparently there’s no permanent damage to his spine. He’ll be fine again when the fracture heals.’
‘Oh,’ said Claire, relief flooding over her. ‘How do you know?’
‘Mike said so. That was what he’d come in to tell us today. I’m sure he would have told you, but you went off with Dominic and your two old ladies…’
‘Oh, no!’ said Claire. ‘I had no idea. But that’s wonderful news—about Stephen. They must be so relieved—all of them.’
‘Well, yes, absolutely,’ said Penny. ‘But coming back to you and Mike, honestly, Claire, I really do think you have to come clean with him.’
‘Oh, Penny, I can’t.’ Claire stared at her friend in anguish. ‘I told you I can’t bear to see him hurt again and to know that I would be the one responsible for doing it.’
‘Claire, listen to me.’ Stepping forward, Penny took hold of Claire’s shoulders. ‘Are you in love with Dominic?’
‘Well, I don’t know…I suppose…I can’t really…’
‘Are you in love with him?’ Penny repeated, ignoring Claire’s ineffectual dithering.
Helplessly Claire stared at her. ‘Yes,’ she whispered at last, ‘yes, I guess I must be.’
‘Right.’ Penny gave a huge sigh and let go of Claire. ‘At last we’re getting somewhere. Now,’ she went on after a moment, ‘the next thing is, you have to tell Mike. Oh, I know you say you can’t bear to be the one to hurt him for a second time,’ she went on when she caught sight of Claire’s expression, ‘but don’t you think that is exactly what you will be doing in the long run if you stay with him, knowing that you are in love with someone else?’
‘Come on, Claire,’ Penny urged when Claire remained silent, ‘think about it. If you stay with Mike now and maybe eventually marry him, it would be an absolute disaster. You can’t do that to him. Mike’s a decent guy. You simply can’t be that cruel. You have to tell him, hard as that might be.’ She paused. ‘Mind you,’ she added drily, ‘telling Mike could be a doddle compared to telling those girls in Reception. I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when you tell them that you and the devastating Dominic Hansford are an item.’
Claire spent a night of turmoil as she went over and over in her mind all that she had discussed with Penny. In the end, just as dawn was breaking, she finally came to a decision and knew what she had to do. After that she managed to sleep, even though it was only for a couple of hours, but because it was Saturday, luckily, she did not have to go in to the centre.
After she’d showered and dressed, drunk some fresh orange juice and nibbled a piece of toast, she was preparing to leave the house to drive across town to the small terraced house that Mike had moved into after the break-up of his marriage when she opened the outer door, to be confronted by Mike himself who was on the point of ringing her doorbell.
She stared at him in amazement. ‘Mike!’ she exclaimed. ‘I was just on my way to see you.’ He looked exhausted and as she recalled the ordeal he had just been through her heart went out to him. ‘I wanted to talk to you,’ she said. ‘But what are you doing here?’ she added curiously.
‘I wanted to talk to you,’ he said. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Yes, of course.’ She stood aside, letting him into the large hallway before shutting the front door behind him. In silence she led the way up the stairs to her flat, all the while her mind racing. Why had he come? She’d had everything so carefully rehearsed in her mind, but his sudden and unexpected arrival had thrown her and she couldn’t think now what she had planned to say to him.
‘I heard about Stephen,’ she said at last, leading the way into her sitting room and breaking the silence between them, which was threatening to become unmanageable. ‘Penny told me. It’s wonderful news, Mike. I’m so pleased.’
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘it was a tremendous relief to know there was no permanent spinal damage. He’s not entirely out of the woods yet but I think it’s just a matter of time. He’s young…he’ll mend.’ As he was talking he was looking around the flat, as if he’d never been there before, never seen any of her possessions or furniture, which was ridiculous when one considered just how many times he had been there.
‘Can I get you anything, Mike?’ asked Claire in sudden desperation. ‘Coffee perhaps or fruit juice?’
‘No,’ he said quickly, ‘no. Maybe later, but I…we need to talk first…’
‘Is this about yesterday?’ she asked wildly, unable to bear the suspense any longer.
‘Yesterday?’ Mike looked blank.
‘Yes, because I wasn’t around when you came in to tell us about Stephen? I’m…I’m sorry about that, Mike,’ she rushed on, ‘but, you see, those two ladies had turned up…they were people I’d met in Italy…they were caught in the earthquake…and there are other things about that, about Italy, that I need to tell you…’
‘Oh, yes,’ said Mike vaguely. ‘Someone said something about those ladies and you helping to save lives…’
‘So isn’t that why you’re here?’ Claire frowned. She’d imagined that, like Penny, he’d by now have put two and two together where she and Dominic were concerned.
‘No.’ He took a deep breath. ‘That isn’t why I’m here, Claire. Do you mind if I sit down?’ he said.
‘No, of course not. Please…’ She indicated the sofa and as Mike sank down, almost as if his legs were in danger of giving way, Claire also sat down, opposite him, perching apprehensively on the arm of an easy chair.
‘Claire, I don’t know how to say this,’ he began. Running his hands through his hair, he attempted to go on, ‘You see, in the past week or so, since Stephen’s accident, something has happened, something which I never ever imagined would happen. If I had thought there was the slightest chance I would never have allowed our relationship to reach the stage it did. You came to mean so very much to me, Claire…but you see…the children…I hadn’t realised, neither had Jan really…’ He trailed off helplessly as if it was impossible for him to find the words he wanted.
‘What are you saying, Mike?’ Claire stared at him in astonishment.
‘I’m sorry, Claire,’ he said, and there was a look of real anguish on his face. ‘So very sorry, I really am. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. In fact, I have been desperate not to hurt you…’
‘Mike, are you trying to say that you and Jan…?’
He nodded fearfully, hardly able to meet her gaze, ‘I know I always said it would never happen, that I would never under any circumstances take her back, but something happened during those dreadful days at Stephen’s bedside and we finally began to realise just what we had thrown away. We…’ He gulped. ‘We have decided…that we are going to try again and have another go at our marriage. Honestly, Claire,’ he appealed to her, ‘I really am so very, very, sorry…’
‘But I think that’s wonderful, Mike,’ said Claire softly.
‘Like I say,’ he carried straight on, almost as if he hadn’t heard her, ‘the last thing I wanted was to hurt you.’ He broke off as if it had just dawned on him what she had said.
‘What did you say?’ His eyes narrowed in bewilderment as he looked at her.
‘I said I think it’s wonderful,’ she said. ‘Wonderful that you and Jan are going to have another go at marriage and especially wonderful for Stephen and Emma—they must be over the moon.’
‘Yes, but…what about you?’ He frowned, shaking his head. ‘Aren’t you upset, Claire?’
‘A bit,’ she admitted, ‘because at one time I’d hoped our relationship was going to be long-lasting, but let’s just say not so much as I might have been a few weeks ago.’
‘I don’t understand.’ He stared at her, looking thoroughly puzzled now.
‘You s-see, Mike,’ she said, stumbling over her words slightly as it slowly dawned on her that what she had been dreading might not now be anywhere near as bad as she had feared, ‘I also have someone else in my life…’
He continued staring at her. ‘You have someone…?’
‘Yes, Mike,’ she said softly, and as she looked at him and he at her she gradually saw something change in his expression, some recognition of her as if he was seeing her properly for the first time in a very long time.
‘It’s Dominic Hansford, isn’t it?’ he said slowly at last. He spoke in the manner of someone who had been vaguely aware of something for some time but who had been unable to put his finger on what it was.
‘Yes,’ Claire replied quietly, ‘it’s Dominic.’
‘Someone said you met him in Italy…’
‘That’s right, I did,’ she agreed. ‘But I didn’t know he would seek me out, that he would come to the centre. Mike, you have to believe that.’
‘OK.’ Mike still looked rather shell-shocked, ‘I must admit I did wonder when I heard that you’d met in Italy why neither of you had let on.’
‘I was annoyed with Dominic for following me when I had made it quite plain that we could have no future together,’ said Claire slowly, ‘and I suppose I kept the whole thing quiet because of you, Mike,’ she added.
They were silent for a moment, as if each was digesting what they had just learnt, then Claire spoke again. ‘I didn’t want you to be hurt,’ she said, ‘and I didn’t feel there was any need for you to know about something that I believed by then was over.’
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