The Songwriter

by Jensen, A. P.

  “What are you doing?” Gwen asked.

  Angie shifted uncomfortably. “This isn’t a good time for him.”

  Gwen’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Why?”

  “How about you come back in an hour or something?”

  Gwen pushed Angie to the side and was on the bus before the woman could recover. She yelled Gwen’s name, telling her to wait. Gwen barreled through the bus to Trey’s bedroom door, threw it open and stopped dead.

  Natasha sat on Trey’s bed, wearing a barely there gold dress with her midriff showing. One high heeled shoe swung insolently. Gwen opened her mouth to blast her when she heard the sound of the shower. Her heart sank as Natasha smiled at her. Angie grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to tug her out of the room but Gwen wouldn’t move.

  “What is she doing here?” Gwen said hoarsely.

  “Trey asked her to come,” Angie sighed.

  “Why?”

  “He wants to plan his world tour,” Natasha said.

  Gwen closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry. She cried more in the past week than she had in years. She had to stop. Angie tried to pull her away but Gwen shrugged her off.

  “I need to talk to her,” Gwen said.

  “But-”

  “Just go, Angie.”

  Reluctantly, Angie walked off the bus and once more took her station by the front doors. Gwen ran her eyes over her nemesis. After all Trey said about Natasha, he would take her on the next tour as if she hadn’t left him high and dry before? He was falling back into the same pattern of on again/ off again with this snake. Gwen was a nicotine patch that hadn’t worked and now his drug of choice was back.

  “Where’s your husband?” Gwen asked tonelessly.

  Natasha shrugged. “Gone. It didn’t work out.”

  Gwen wasn’t surprised and she looked right into Natasha’s malicious eyes. “I just want you to know I’m never going to write another song for you.”

  Natasha jerked upright, eyes wide. “You can’t do that!”

  “I can. Find another songwriter.”

  “But I make your songs hits!” Natasha shouted.

  Gwen surveyed her. “No. I make my songs hits and I’ll find someone else to sing them the right way.”

  “I don’t know why you’re so angry. You proved yourself. People actually liked your voice.”

  Natasha’s voice clearly stated she couldn’t understand why anyone would like her voice at all. Gwen heard the shower cut off and she nodded at Natasha.

  “I learned a lot about myself. Good luck, Natasha. You and Trey deserve each other.”

  She heard the bathroom door open and rushed down the aisle even as she heard Trey address Natasha. Gwen jumped, not bothering with the steps to get off the bus. Angie stared at her.

  “Gwen, are you okay?”

  Gwen nodded and ran to her bus, pulled her luggage off with feverish hands and called a taxi. She had to make two trips to get all of her things. She heard the stage crew partying the night away and waved farewell when they noticed her at the curb. The taxi pulled up and only when the driver asked what her destination was did she realize she had to make a decision. She told the taxi to take her to the airport and she called a man who loved her and wouldn’t let her down.

  “Johnny, where are you?”

  Chapter Twelve

  She clenched her shaking hands together in her lap. The chiffon dress she wore fit her like a glove. She self-consciously smoothed a hand over herself and glanced at Johnny. His eyes hadn’t left her since he picked her up.

  “You’re making me nervous,” Gwen snapped.

  Johnny’s eyes moved up from her cleavage to her face. He grabbed her hand and when he found it cold and trembling he put an arm around her, pulled her into his side and kissed her cheek.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “For good reason,” she muttered but she relaxed a little. “You think I’ll get crucified for this dress?”

  “God, no, they’ll worship you.”

  The limo stopped in front of the MGM Grand and Gwen took a deep breath as she took in the paparazzi jostling for position and the babble of the crowd. The door opened and Johnny jumped out and waved before he gallantly extended a hand to her. When she stepped out of the limo, she pasted a bright smile on her face and tried not to wince at the blinding flash of cameras. Johnny wrapped an arm around her waist and led her down the red carpet for the Country Music Awards. She smiled and they posed for the cameras. She knew they made a striking couple and they both ignored the questions from the frenzied paparazzi. Gwen stood by Johnny’s side as he paused for a reporter. Gwen looked over the crowd wanting a glimpse yet terrified she would see Trey.

  “Ms. Harper?”

  Gwen jerked as the reporter addressed her. “Yes?”

  “Are you going to pursue a singing career?”

  Gwen stared at the microphone and then the reporter, completely disconcerted. “Um, no. I’m a songwriter.”

  The reporter nodded. “Yes, but you also have an amazing voice. We’ve received hundreds of emails from our viewers wondering if you’re going to pursue singing. You created quite a buzz when you went on tour with Trey Phoenix.”

  Pain flashed through her and Johnny’s hand squeezed her waist comfortingly when he felt her tremble.

  Gwen swallowed. “No. I did that as a favor and I’m not planning on pursuing it. I’m content writing songs.”

  Johnny intervened and pulled her down the carpet. Gwen was stiff as a board as they paused for more pictures and two more interviews. She was stunned when the reporters seemed just as interested in her as they were in Johnny.

  “You can’t go on tour with Trey and think you can disappear into the background again so easily,” Johnny murmured as they entered the theater.

  Gwen opened her mouth to argue but singers converged on them. Johnny released her and she was immediately pulled aside by Carrie, a singer whose first album went platinum thanks to a song Gwen wrote for her.

  “Are you dating Trey Phoenix?” she gushed.

  Gwen fought to keep the smile on her face. “No.”

  “I could’ve sword that’s what I heard.”

  “Trey doesn’t stay with anyone long,” Gwen said, more sharply than she intended.

  Carrie shrugged. “I guess but honey, I saw a video of you and Trey on YouTube. It was amazing. Even I’m jealous. Why don’t you sing?”

  The two hours before they were seated were hell. Everyone asked the same questions: Are you dating Trey Phoenix? Why not? Why don’t you try a singing career? She was tempted to walk out but she didn’t want to face the paparazzi again. Nosy bastards. She got separated from Johnny and moved to the back of the theater where there was a black curtain covering an employee door. She slipped into the small space and through a break in the curtains watched the rich and famous locate their seats and argue with the ushers.

  “Why am I not surprised to find you here?”

  Gwen let out a long breath and turned. Trey leaned against the wall behind her with a glass in his hand. She was sure her heart was going to pound out of her chest.

  “What are you doing back here?” she asked and was proud her voice sounded so normal.

  “I was wondering if you would come to this.”

  “Johnny asked me to come with him.”

  He straightened away from the wall and she tensed as he neared. She could smell his cologne and she liked the way he looked. His hair was slicked back and he looked spiffy in his classic black suit. Her heart ached and she clenched her hands in the fold of her dress to stop herself from reaching out to him.

  “Where’ve you been, Gwen?”

  “Here and there.”

  “I left you over a hundred messages.”

  “I know.” She deleted them as soon as she heard his voice. “I’ve been busy.”

  When she saw his eyes narrow, she waved a hand.

  “Don’t worry. I’m not writing songs about you.”
/>   “Ninety percent of your songs are about me. I’d be crushed if you stopped now.”

  She felt the hit but didn’t let it show on her face. “I’ve been helping Johnny write songs for his album. You’ve inspired me to write about motivation for women to kill and cheat.”

  His eyes narrowed. “You disappeared off the face of the planet! You don’t answer my calls or try to act normal?”

  His gall made her see red. Be friends and watch him and Natasha love and hate each other all over again? No thanks. “What did you expect me to do? Cry, go home and sit by the phone waiting for you to call?”

  “But I did call,” he hissed.

  She took a step back through the curtains. She couldn’t breathe. “I think we just need to move on.”

  He stepped forward and grabbed her arm to stop her. “You didn’t listen or read any of my messages, did you?”

  She tried to brush him off, but he wouldn’t release her. People were starting to look in their direction and she saw that stubborn look on Trey’s face that said he didn’t give a damn if he was making a scene. She pasted a fake smile on her face, shoved Trey back through the curtains and stepped into the small space with him again.

  “This isn’t the place to do this,” Gwen snapped.

  He jerked her against him and put his face within an inch of hers. “I can’t think of a better place, especially since you’re dead set on avoiding me.”

  “I laid everything on the stage that last night,” she whispered and her voice trembled.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  She didn’t want him to say sorry for not loving her back, for choosing Natasha over her. They stared at one another and that damn chemistry sizzled between them. His eyes roved over her face and the hand splayed over her back began to explore. Desperately, she tried to push away but his arm banned her to him.

  “You love me, Gwen,” he stated.

  Rage flashed through her and she reached up to claw his arrogant face but he caught her hand and kissed her. Desire, love, anger clashed together in a heady rush that made her melt into him. He pushed her against the wall and pinned her there with his body. She knew they shouldn’t be doing this, that the show was about to start, that sex wasn’t love but she didn’t stop him. She missed him so damn much. A tear coursed down her cheek. Trey tasted it and pulled away to look at her face in the dim light. Her lips throbbed from his kisses and her body was ready for him but her heart was shrieking at her to get away from him. The tears began in earnest and Trey groaned and brushed them away.

  “Don’t cry, Gwen. It’s going to be okay.”

  The sob that escaped from her was mortifying. She clapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head because she couldn’t speak. It was never going to be okay because she was in love with a man who didn’t even know what that meant.

  The curtains parted and Johnny appeared. He stared at Trey who had Gwen caged against the wall with tears pouring from her eyes. The look he tossed at Trey should have killed him on the spot.

  “Don’t you think you’ve done enough, Trey?” Johnny snapped, stepping into the space and letting the curtain drop behind him.

  “I’m trying to tell her-” Trey began.

  “Her lipstick is on your lips. It doesn’t look like you were trying too hard to talk to her. It looks like you’re trying to get what you always want from women and no more.” Johnny’s voice was cold and cutting. “They’re looking for you. Get out of here.”

  Gwen gulped and pushed Trey away, trying to stop the tears and repair her makeup. She could hear Trey and Johnny arguing, then the curtain opened and more voices filled the small space. She heard Johnny snapping and the voices faded. Gentle hands turned her around and she stared up at Johnny.

  “Why am I such a stupid girl when it comes to him?” she said raggedly.

  Johnny grabbed her tiny bag and pulled out her lipstick, Kleenex and mascara and let her rant and rave as he repaired her makeup. By the time Johnny finished, she was emotionally drained and the show was starting. She opened her mouth to say she was going to leave but she didn’t want to leave Johnny hanging, not after he’d taken care of her all these months.

  “We’ll leave as soon as it’s over,” Johnny promised.

  “Alright.”

  They waited for a commercial break before they were led to their seats in the front row. She felt everyone’s eyes on them and she didn’t make eye contact. She sat there, music blasting around her and clapped politely as people went up to collect their awards. She put on a pleasant face when the cameras swept the crowd. She cheered when Gabriel performed and looked right at her and blew a kiss. She spent some time at his estate and helped him with several songs. Johnny gave her an arch look that she ignored. When Natasha performed it was almost more than Gwen could take. She clutched shaking hands together in her lap and forced herself to watch. She kept expecting Trey to appear alongside her but Natasha sang a new single that wasn’t doing too well in a bid to boost her sales.

  She was terrified during a break that Trey would appear. He didn’t, which was a relief but also pissed her off. What the hell did that guy want from her? He wanted her to admit she loved him. Why? So he could rub it in her face and date another woman? Stars were curious and loved drama. They came over to blatantly ask about her spat with Trey to which Johnny coldly responded, “Nothing to talk about.” Gwen loosened up slightly when several people requested songs in the near future and Gabriel made his way over to her for a hug.

  The lights dimmed again and they retook their seats. She felt her mood lighten as the show progressed and when Johnny won the award for best male vocalist, she jumped up and kissed him before he went onstage. She almost convinced herself that she was fine as the stage prepared for the last performance. Johnny vibrated with excitement beside her and he got congratulatory pats on the back from everyone around him.

  A bright spotlight clicked on and Gwen’s heart stopped when she saw Trey sitting on a stool with a mic stand in front of him and his guitar. There was no band, no backup singers or orchestra. Trey began to strum his guitar and the assembled were deathly silent, especially Gwen who was motionless with shock. When Trey raised his head to sing his eyes were closed.

  I thought I knew what I wanted in life

  I thought I had it all figured out

  When you came along

  I thought you were like all the rest

  I told myself I could handle

  if you walked away

  Trey opened his eyes and Gwen’s breath stopped when he looked directly at her. The emotion in his words reverberated through the room and no one moved or spoke. Everyone watched Trey lay himself bare before them.

  Now that you’re gone

  the things I was content with are empty

  My thoughts are full of you

  and dreams of you haunt me

  If you’ll give me a chance

  I’ll say the words I never said,

  I’ll treasure every moment you give me

  If you give me a chance

  I know I can be the man I’ve never been

  Will you let me?

  Time stretched and when the last note fell from his lips, the silence was so complete Gwen could hear her own breathing before the crowd rose in a standing ovation. The spotlight disappeared and the lights around the auditorium flicked back on. Johnny turned to Gwen who was pale and staring at the stage now being stampeded by workers trying to wrap it up and Trey’s peers.

  “I think his voice was kind of off,” Johnny said.

  Gwen blinked and opened her mouth to deny that charge when she saw the grin on his face. She slapped his hand and got to her feet.

  “Was it just me or-” she said unsteadily.

  “The whole room knows who he was singing to, babe.”

  She stared at Johnny, eyes slightly crazed. “But why?”

  Johnny shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re the one that writes love songs. Maybe he changed.”

  She shook
her head. “No. We should go.”

  Johnny stared at her. “But he just said-”

  Gwen shook her head. “No. He was singing. He didn’t say anything to me. Let’s go.”

  “But he was looking right at you.”

  “I don’t want to play his games. I was in the front row. I was probably the only one he could see because of the spotlight.”

  Johnny stared at her as if she was possessed. “Honey, even I think Trey’s a bastard, but he was singing to you, not to the audience and we all know it.”

  “No. Let’s go.”

  All she could think of was the last night of the tour and the way she laid it all out on the stage. She reached out and touched him and he kept his hands to himself. She’d practically been begging for love and if not that, friendship and he turned down both. To top all that off, he had Natasha in his bus the same night, which meant he contacted her some time before that. Was his song for Natasha? Maybe it was an apology. Trey liked having her around but there was a huge difference between liking and love. She wasn’t going to gamble her heart on a song.

  She and Johnny started up the aisle and she looked beyond everyone’s head to the door at the top. She was desperate to get as far away from the stage as possible and she snarled at those who blocked her path.

  “That was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen!” Carrie gushed. “Goose bumps!”

  “Yeah,” Gwen said and tried to go around her.

  “Aren’t you going to go to him?” Carrie asked.

  “What for?”

  “Don’t be an idiot, Gwen. We all know who he was singing to. No one’s ever seen him like this.”

  She ran a shaking hand through her hair and totally destroyed her elegant bun. She dashed around Carrie and was halfway up the aisle to the exit door when a voice boomed out over the speakers.

  “Gwen Harper, I love you.”

  Gwen froze in her tracks and everyone stopped talking and looked at the stage where Trey stood on the very edge, watching her. He jumped off the stage with his guitar strapped to his back and a worker turned on the spotlight to track his progress through the crowd. Everyone smiled as he made a path to Gwen who stood like a deer in the headlights. She felt naked, vulnerable and panicked as he strode towards her. She took a step back and he must have realized she was on the verge of bolting because he began to talk.