by Tiana Cole
“Poor little thing, that looks like a nasty gash you got there. But you’re a brave girl, right?”
“I think so.”
“You look like it to me.”
“I am.”
“Good. Now you go with Kayla and get that looked at by your daddy and he can see how brave you are, too. Think you can do that?”
“Mhm.”
“Good girl. Now you take her to that doctor of yours, and don’t wait so long to call me next time, you understand me? Don’t think I was joking about calling the cops. You know I’m crazy enough to do that.”
“Yes,” I laughed breathlessly, “that I do know. Love you, friend.”
“Love you, too. Now get a move on it!”
I hefted Sophie up on one hip and nodded. I needed to get us into a cab and to the hospital as quickly as possible. One, so that I could get Sophie looked at and calmed down. Two, because if I waited too terribly long I was pretty sure I would chicken out. This was the same hospital my sister went into and never came back out of. I hadn’t set foot in that hospital since the day she died and the idea of doing so made me uneasy, slightly sick to my stomach. What would it be like to see David in that environment again? Would it change the way I felt about him? Would he turn back into that monster who neglected my sister and let her die?
But Sophie had begun to cry again against my shoulder and the weight of her four-year-old body was starting to take its toll on my back and my shoulders. I didn’t have time to think it over any longer. I just had to move, put one foot in front of the other until I got us through the front door.
“Alright, Sophie bear, let’s go on an adventure.”
Chapter Nine
David
“Alright, sweet girl, we’re here. You ready?”
I was asking Sophie but the question was as much for myself as anything else. It was even harder than I had expected it to be. Standing in front of this large, unforgiving metal structure I felt my heartbeat begin to speed up to an alarming rate. This was the place where she went for help. This was the place where I lost her. How many other people were going to lose the ones they loved today? How many people went in with hope but never came out again?
“It’s okay, Kayla.”
I looked down at Kayla, whose earnest face was turned towards mine with a look of concern. Children were amazing like that. They could feel your emotions, read your distress like a book. Here she was with an alarmingly dirty and still bleeding cut and Sophie was trying to comfort me. What a fantastic little girl she was.
“I know it is, sweetie. Besides, I’m supposed to tell you that!”
“Okay,” she nodded with a serious expression and furrowed brow, “let’s help each other.”
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
And then it was time to go in. There was no use in standing in front of the hospital all day. That wasn’t going to get any cuts cleared up.
“It’s floor number seven.”
Sophie spoke with an authoritative voice and it was clear that this was her realm. She felt like she was in charge here and I was more than happy to let her take the lead. Now that we were actually in the hospital I realized that there might be more to worry about than just my feelings.
I had spent a whole lot of time in here while Nikki was sick. The nurses had been so friendly, so sweet. What if they remembered me now? What if they said something, exposed me for who I really was? I got into the elevator feeling slightly light headed and hoping that holding Sophie in my arms would be enough of a disguise to throw people off.
“That way!”
So far, so good. We made our way through the maze of corridors, Sophie pointing out our way with a certainty that allowed me to refrain from asking a nurse for help. That was good. That was better than what I could have reasonably hoped for. Before I really expected it or was ready, we stood in front of Dr. David Wyatt’s office.
It looked so important, so official. It made me feel like a little girl snooping some place where I really shouldn’t be. What if he was angry that she was hurt or that I brought her here to interrupt his work? Even worse, what if he wasn’t even in there and I had to wander around searching for him?
“Daddy! Daddy, come out!”
So much for being discreet. Several passing nurses and doctors stopped to see where the noise was coming from and I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath. There is a very good chance I would have just turned tail and ran at that point, but then David was opening his door and it was too late to go anywhere.
“Sophie? Kayla? What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Can we come in?”
“Of course! Sorry, that was rude of me. Here, let me take her. I know she can get kind of heavy.”
“I’m not heavy!”
“No, forgive me,” David smiled at her indignant correction, “it’s just that some of us aren’t as strong as we should be.”
I smiled uncertainly and followed them into the office. There was really nothing else I could do, nothing that would make sense anyway. David sat Sophie right on the edge of his massive desk and crouched down in front of her, a look of concern on his face.
“So, ladies, what seems to be the trouble?”
“My leg got broke,” Sophie said insistently, her face starting to crumple up into tears again. I had managed to get her mostly calmed down on the ride to the hospital but seeing her dad and receiving new attention for her injury was getting her all worked up again. Great. David was going to think that I was completely negligent. What if he just fired me? Weeks ago that would have been frustrating, but now it would be heartbreaking. Now when I was just beginning to realize how important he was to me.
“It’s broke, huh? Well then it’s a good thing Kayla brought you into see me.”
He ran his hand lovingly over her slightly sweaty head and then turned to look at me. Swallowing felt impossible, like I was swallowing a stone that was nothing but sharp edges.
“What happened?”
“We were at the park and she fell. I honestly don’t think anything is broken but I was worried about the gash on her leg. It’s not even that it’s bleeding, I’m just worried about the dirt. It seems like it’s kind of ground into her leg.”
“You did the right thing. It’s not that bad but I should clean it up and she’s going to need a tetanus shot for sure.”
“No! No, no, no. No shot.”
Clearly Sophie was aware of what a shot was and she had no interest in getting one at the moment. The moment David said the word she started to wail loudly and squirmed so violently that I was afraid she was going to fall off of the desk. I didn’t know if it was out of line or not but I moved further into the room and sat on the desk beside Sophie. This was something I knew how to do. I could comfort this girl, even if I wasn’t sure about much of anything else.
“Hey, Sophie.”
“No!”
“I know it’s not your idea of the most fun, right?”
“Nope.”
Her lip poked out in a comical little pout and I glanced at David as he took a swab and began to wipe the dirt away from her wound. I could see that she was thinking of moving into the territory of all out screaming and I really wanted to keep that from happening.
“Well, then what is?”
“Huh?”
“What is the most fun? If you could do anything at all right this minute what would it be?”
“Castle.”
“Castle?”
“Have a fair in a castle.”
“What kind of stuff would you have at the fair?”
Now she was starting to look kind of excited. Her injured leg and the impending shot were forgotten. She was so engrossed in her fantasy that she didn’t even notice when David left and returned with a needle. To her, nothing but that castle existed anymore.
“Pizza would be everywhere. And rides and dinosaurs! All of the kinds I want. And I could be all of the jobs I like.”
“That sounds like an amazing castle!”
�
�I know!”
“You know what else is amazing?”
Sophie looked at David in surprise, finally remembering where she was and why. She looked slightly skeptical and more than a little bit annoyed at David’s intrusion in her fantasy description, but she cocked her head to the side and waited.
“What, Daddy?”
“We’re all done. The cut is clean and the shot has been given. Didn’t feel a thing, did you?”
“Nope!”
“Because you’re such a big, brave girl. Now, tell me one more thing.”
“What?”
“Would you like a lollipop?”
“Yup!”
David picked Sophie up and held her close, kissing her on the forehead with eyes closed. I could feel the love between them and it made me long to be a part of it, to stay a part of it for as long as I could manage. Just the idea of it made my body tingle all over, and when David glanced over at me I cleared my throat quickly, feeling the kind of guilt one might feel when they were caught doing something they knew they shouldn’t be.
“I’m going to take her out to one of the nurses, alright? I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
The door shut softly and I fought to keep my breathing steady. For all I knew he was going to walk back through that door and tell me that my services were no longer needed. Then I would have to go back to the way things were before, and I wasn’t sure that I could do it. My imagination was running away from me and the scenarios it was conjuring up were not good. Not good at all.
Thankfully I didn’t have long to indulge in the steadily worsening scenarios moving through my head. Before I knew it David was walking, alone, back into his office. He shut the door and turned to me, a faint smile on his face. I wasn’t sure whether or not to smile back. I couldn’t tell if the smile was really meant for me.
“Kayla.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said quickly as I rushed forward, “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I should have been paying more attention. One minute she was fine and then she was on the ground. If you want me to leave I’ll understand.”
Crap. I just couldn’t stop talking. This whole time I had been worrying that David was going to fire me and the first chance I got I went and suggested it to him. I had to be the stupidest girl in the world. I had no doubt that he was about to let me go and then walk out of my life forever. Him and Sophie both.
He smiled and took the few steps that separated us. Raising one hand he placed one calloused finger over my babbling lips. He didn’t look like a man that was about to fire someone, but who could tell? People were strange sometimes.
“Kayla. Stop, okay? Do I look mad?”
“No. At least I don’t think so.”
“No, and that’s because I’m not. Why would I be? Children fall. It’s going to happen no matter how vigilant the adults around them are. What I’m interested in is what you did afterwards.”
“What did I do?”
“You were amazing, Kayla. You brought her here to get looked at, which was good, but more importantly you interacted with her in exactly the way she needed you to. Not everyone can do that. You even distracted her from her shot, and I think she made it pretty clear how she feels about those. So that’s what you did, Kayla. You were amazing.”
I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t at all what I expected to hear from him, and the relief that hit me made me feel a little bit like I was going to pass out. Combined with the stress of the last hour or so it was a little much to take. David must have seen it on my face, too, because he put his hand gently on my arm and led me to his desk chair. I was almost afraid to look up at him standing before me, but I had to. I couldn’t help it.
“Kayla, can I ask you something?”
“Anything. Anything you want.”
“How do you do it? You have the best bedside manner I’ve ever seen. I’m not going to lie, I’m thoroughly impressed. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything quite like it before.”
“I think it goes back to my sister,” I said quietly. He didn’t speak, just looked at me with wide, unreadable eyes. There was nothing to do but keep talking.
“Nikki, she was sick. I know I told you that. She was sick all of the time, from the time she was very small. She was always small, even when she died. Her being so sick kept her from growing the way she should have. She hated shots, too, just like Sophie, but she had to get so many of them. I learned how to talk to her so that they weren’t so bad. In the end it was like she didn’t even know they were happening anymore. I always liked that, knowing I could take that kind of pain away from someone. Especially when they had so much else to face.”
“That’s…well, it’s very admirable.”
David’s voice sounded strange and he started to clear his throat in an almost compulsive way. He wasn’t looking at me anymore, either.
“That’s how I knew what I really want to do with my life.”
“And what’s that? It’s not teaching?”
“It is, actually, just not in a typical classroom. I want to open up a preschool in the hospital. Some of those kids are so sick and their days are anything but normal. I think it would be good for them to have a little bit of the life other kids their age have. I have this feeling that it might even help them to get better. I don’t know, it sounds silly.”
“No, no, it doesn’t.”
Now David was kneeling on the floor in front of me and looking up at me earnestly. He looked nervous and I could tell that he was breathing just a little bit too quickly. I just didn’t know why.
“You’re just so brave, so kind. I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never met anyone who embodies those things the way you do.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said as my face began to grow hot. “I doubt that’s true.”
“No, believe me, it is. And I’ve met a lot of people. None of them were like you. None of them even came close. I think that’s why.”
“Why what?”
“Why I like you so much.”
“Oh.”
Now my breath was coming too quickly as well and the room felt a little bit too bright. This didn’t seem possible. He was such a powerful and important man and I was only the nanny. He couldn’t mean it the way it sounded. Could he?
“Kayla, I like you more than any woman I’ve ever known. I’m excited to come home for the first time in I don’t know how long. I know I’m not being eloquent but I don’t know how else to say it. I just really, really like you.”
Then he was moving up, closer, and I could feel his warm breath on my face. He smelled amazing and my whole body shuddered in response. His eyes were full of a question I wouldn’t have time to answer because before I could, his lips were moving lightly over mine.
Chapter Ten
David
I don’t know what made me do it. I mean, I do, but I don’t know what made me do it in that moment. I’m not generally an impulsive man and I don’t do wild things in my place of work. Not usually, that is.
I like to think that I’m a reasonably intelligent man. Most of the time I feel like that’s true. I think I know myself as well as the next guy, so it didn’t take me long to realize that my feelings about Kayla weren’t fleeting and they weren’t going anywhere.
Ever since watching the way she stood up to my mother my desire for her had grown until I knew it was only a matter of time before they led me to do something out of character. It was just such a damned tease, having her in the house all of the time, playing with Sophie and making us meals to eat as a “family.” It was like getting a little glimpse into what it would be like if we were a family for real. Hell, I didn’t even need us to be a family, not right away, but it got harder and harder not to act on the instincts I had about her. I guess seeing her in my office was more than I could take. It’s funny, what sends a man over the edge.
“Wow.”
I pulled back from Kayla, a little bit afraid of what that “wow” might m
ean. It was totally over the line to do what I had just done and I knew it. She was my nanny for Christ’s sake. It was clearly taking advantage of the structure of power, although I was almost certain that she was better than me in pretty much every way. Shit, I better not have messed things up for Sophie. Kayla was the first thing that had really worked for her since Mikey and Anna died. If my behavior took that away from her, I would never forgive myself.
“Wow in a good way, or wow in a bad way?”
“I don’t know,” she said, the start of a sly smile starting to build in the corners of her mouth, “you’ll have to do it again so I can decide for sure.”