The Doctor's Fake Nanny: Contemporary BWWM Romance

by Tiana Cole

  “Baby, what’s wrong? I haven’t heard you cry like this since Nikki passed. What happened? Are you hurt?”

  “No. And yes. He found out, Yvonne. He knows why I took the job, what I was doing there in the beginning. He knows everything and I think he hates me now. He looked so, so angry.”

  “Do you want to know what I really think?”

  I didn’t, not really, but I needed to. That was part of why I called. She was never going to lie to me, not even when I wanted her to. She had become the voice of reason that I had lost somewhere along the way.

  “Well, I’m going to tell you, one way or another. Sugar, you knew from the start that this was risky business. You were playing with fire and you were doing it on purpose. You were hurt, that’s true, but what you did wasn’t exactly on the up and up.”

  “No, it was pretty far from it. I can’t believe I ever thought that was okay.”

  “Like I said, you were hurt. And you’re hurt now, too, because you love him. You do, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I said in a choked whisper, feeling like my throat was closing up.

  “And does he love you back?”

  “He did. I don’t know about now.”

  “No. Wrong. If he loved you this morning, I mean really loved you, he’ll still love you when the day is done. He’s hurt, too, and you’ve got to let him feel that. You betrayed him, okay? It was before you knew him, but you still did it and you’ve got to own up to that. Do you still think he killed your sister?”

  “No! No, not at all. He would never do that. He’s not on drugs. He’s talented and committed. I think that other doctor just wanted his job, really. He just used me.”

  “Well, then you make sure David knows that you own this. Not that other doctor, not him, but you, all on your own. Don’t make excuses for yourself and let him be angry if he needs to be. He’ll get over it. Love is too hard to find to throw it away. The two of you have both lost people. You know it better than most.”

  “You know what?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I love you, too. I really do, Yvonne. Thanks for putting up with me.”

  “You bet. I love you, too, which is why I do put up with you. Even when you act like a crazy person.”

  ***

  I still had that conversation in my head when I got back to David’s house. It was very, very late, late enough so that I didn’t expect anyone to be up.

  I felt like an intruder and I had zero interest in being somewhere where I wasn’t wanted, but pretty much everything I owned was in that garage apartment. I needed to grab a couple of things and then I would never come back, not if he didn’t want me to. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him even more.

  “I can’t remember her.”

  I screamed and dropped my purse and keys on the floor. The apartment was dark and my first thought was that someone had broken in, but as my mind processed what I had just heard I realized it was David. He was sitting in the dark on the floor of my little bedroom, surrounded by my things and what I still had left of Nikki’s. I guess I could have been angry at him for that, but after what I had done it seemed so small. Besides, he wasn’t snooping. At least it didn’t feel like he was.

  “I can’t remember her, Kayla.”

  “Can’t remember who, David?”

  His voice was raw and he sounded like he had been crying. I padded towards him softly, sitting down beside him and placing my hand gently on his arm. I was terrified that he would shrug me off, but he didn’t. Instead he put one hand lightly on my knee, absently running his thumb back and forth over the rough denim of my jeans. I could hardly breathe.

  I was too afraid that if I did he would realize what he was doing and stop. For all I knew, this was the last time he would touch me with that kind of intimacy.

  “Nikki. I went back to the hospital, went through the records. I got home hours ago and all I’ve done since then is sit here and think. I’ve been trying as hard as I can, but nothing makes it click. I can’t remember her, Kayla.”

  A tear rolled town his cheek and he just let it fall. It was like he didn’t even notice it. I reached one trembling hand up to his face and wiped it away, daring to let it linger along the stubble indicating that he had forgotten to shave. He looked at me then and I saw that there was no more anger in his eyes. They just looked haunted. I wanted to help make that look go away.

  “It’s okay. David, those things I did were wrong. They were inexcusable and I wish I could take them back. I didn’t understand back then, but I know you now. David, you’re a good man. You work hard and your whole life is about helping other people before you help yourself. My sister was sick from the moment she was born. Doctors didn’t even expect her to live as long as she did. I just couldn’t face that when it happened. None of it was your fault, do you hear me? None of it.”

  “You know what it is? I think I got so caught up in being the best doctor around that I forgot about the key part. I forgot that it’s about the people, not just the medicine. I can promise you that I did everything I could for your sister medically, but I didn’t give her my humanity. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  I could feel my eyes growing hot with unshed tears and I pinched my arm, determined not to start crying. I needed to be strong to get through the rest of this.

  “I’m not mad at you about it, David, really I’m not. You aren’t the man I thought you were when this all started and I honestly don’t think anything could have kept her alive, not for much longer. It’s just hard, you know? It’s hard to hear that someone you loved more than anything could be unremembered by her doctor.”

  “I know. God, I know how that must sound. But I had so many patients, Kayla. I barely ever saw them. It was mostly other doctors and the nurses. Even when I did see them I wasn’t really looking. I remembered case files, not faces. I can’t see so many of their faces, the cases that ended well and the cases I where I failed. But I swear, I swear I won’t ever let myself become that man again. I’m going to give my patients everything I have, and the day I stop is the day I quit practicing medicine.”

  “I think that’s amazing. I think it will make you even better at what you do.”

  Then I stood and made my way towards my dresser, pulling out enough of the essential to get me through a week or two. When I started doing that David stood as well, moving slowly towards me.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Just packing up a few of my things. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just wanted to get some stuff and then I’ll be gone.”

  “No, please don’t.”

  I held my breath and turned to face him. I didn’t want to let myself get my hopes up only to have my heart broken. He couldn’t be saying what it sounded like he was saying. It didn’t seem possible.

  “Don’t?”

  “No, don’t. Here’s the thing, Kayla. I wish you had told me sooner. Of course I do. But you know what? Shit happens. People mess up. I messed up, too, and we’re both going to do it again. That happens when you’re with someone. But I don’t want to let you go. I love you. I love you more than I love myself. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

  “What? Me? How could I hate you?”

  “Because,” he said with another tear moving down into his stubble, “I was the one who was supposed to keep your sister alive. I hated the person who killed my brother. It almost killed me to get over hating that guy. I just can’t stand the idea of you feeling that way about me.”

  “I don’t think that’s going to happen,” I said with a shy smile.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because, David, I love you too damned much.”

  Then he kissed me, that kiss I had been so afraid of losing forever, and I realized that things were finally good. Our secrets came out and we survived. It didn’t seem like a fairytale anymore. It seemed much, much better.

  Epilogue

  “Come on, sweet girl. You know this word. Just sound it out.”


  Sophie furrowed her little brow into the perfect picture of concentration. The last year had been amazing for her. She was the perfect example to me of how a person with something like ADHD could learn just as well as anyone else, so long as she was given the right strategies. It was like any other job. She just needed the right tools in her tool belt.

  “Cat! Is it cat, Mamma? Did I say it?”

  “Yes, sweetie, you did. You are getting so good at this! Pretty soon you’re going to be teaching other people how to read. What do you say to that?”

  “I say yes! I’m gonna teach, just like my mamma!”

  “You would be an amazing teacher. You would be an amazing anything.”

  She grinned and climbed up into my lap, careful not to kick my belly. She was young, but she knew to watch for that. She pressed her hot little face against mine, giving me the eskimo kisses that she had been over the moon about lately, and as I breathed in the sweet lavender scent of her hair I felt my eyes well up with tears of appreciation. Even though all of the trouble between us had been a year ago, I still had moments of overwhelming gratitude for the second chance I had been given.

  It was more like a second life, really. When David and I made the choice to forgive each other we made the decision to really give us a shot. Every day we made the decision to stay together again, and each time we did that, things got even stronger between us. It wasn’t long after that that Sophie took it upon herself to start calling me mamma. That was what led to my next crazy decision.

  I became one of those people I had always secretly pitied and ridiculed. I got married to a man I had only known for a small blip of time. It was crazy, but it was right, right like nothing had ever been before. I got everything I wanted all at one time. Most people don’t get that lucky in a whole lifetime.

  “Here’s my best two girls! What’ve you two been up to? Nothing tricky, I hope.”

  “I’m reading, Daddy. I’m going to teach all the people.”

  “I bet you are, Sophie. And what about your mamma? How come she’s crying?”

  “Ugh,” I said with a sheepish little laugh, “hormones. I’m like a bipolar person these days, I swear.”

  He got right down on the floor next to me, slinging one arm around my shoulders and placing his other hand protectively over my belly. I buried my face in his neck, breathing in deeply the scent of sweet cedar that I practically lived for.

  “Are you okay, though? Did something spark this whole thing?”

  “No, not really. It’s super sappy, but I was just thinking about how lucky I am. How happy.”

  “Oh god, Kayla. Me, too. Crazy happy. You better believe it.”

  “Good. You better be! I don’t want anything to change. Besides the baby, that is.”

  “Well that’s too bad, because something is going to.”

  “Uh oh,” I said, trying to keep the alarm out of my voice, “what’s that?”

  “Mom is retiring. She’s stepping down as the head of cardiology. Guess who the board is replacing her with?”

  “You?!”

  He nodded, a huge grin spreading across his face, and I squealed with excitement. Not only was this a massive honor, but now he wouldn’t have to work with his mother anymore, which was probably better for everyone. She had started to thaw out a miniscule amount at a time, but there was still a long way to go before the tension was gone. Or at least mostly gone.

  “Oh, David, can you imagine what Dr. Johnson would do if he were still here? Do you think he’ll find out?”

  “With as nosy as that man is? I would bet a lot of money that he’ll know by the end of the week.”

  He laughed and kissed me, long and soft just the way I liked it. Dr. Johnson had turned into a kind of a joke between the two of us. He was awful, had done awful things to both of us when you really thought about it, but in the end it had backfired. He was long gone, David and I were together, and now David would get the position Dr. Johnson had done this whole thing for. It was almost like the script of a movie, it was so good.

  “Oh! I have some news for you, too.”

  He looked at me with a sly smile, lifting one eyebrow like a cartoon character.

  “Is it about the baby?”

  “It might be,” I said, trying to play coy but pretty much failing.

  “And?”

  “It’s a boy. And if it’s okay with you, I’d like to name him Mikey.”

  The End

  Thank you for reading!

  AND IF YOU HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE...

  Turn the page to read: “Escort by Mistake” By Tiana Cole

  Escort by Mistake

  Chapter One

  It was one of those rainy New York nights when Cassidy Johnson wished she was home and tucked warmly in her bed. Instead she was behind the counter of a local coffee shop, Ron’s Good Beans Café, which was normally empty after 6 p.m., except that the torrential downpour sent pedestrians scrambling inside its warm interiors to avoid getting drenched in the rain.

  Cassidy glanced surreptitiously at the wall clock. 7:45 p.m. She had exactly thirty minutes to catch the 8:15 bus back to Queens. The next one would be forty-five minutes later, and she hated the thought of standing on the curb waiting. Rainy New York nights are havens to a bevy of thieves and other dubious characters, and lately the area around the cafe had seen a spate of muggings.

  “Thank God,” she sighed inwardly as the last group of customers started to collect their umbrellas and headed towards the exit. Cassidy made a beeline for the glass door, flipping the “closed” sign as she did.

  She tugged at the hair band that held her hair back and let the dark brown spiral tresses fall naturally to her shoulders. All she needed was to grab her notebook, stuff it in her purse, and she would be on her way to the bus stop.

  She pulled a plastic garbage bag from behind the counter and started collecting used paper coffee cups still scattered around the tables and the countertop when the familiar chime of the bell by the door jingled.

  “I’m sorry we’re closed…” Cassidy announced brusquely without bothering to look at the new arrival and wishing she had locked the door.

  “I know… the sign says so… but I was hoping you would let me have a cup. It’s really chilly out there,” a warm male voice replied.

  Cassidy turned around, her body language announcing her irritation. She had been on her feet for twelve hours, and right now all she wanted was a hot bath and her familiar, cozy flannel pajamas.

  “Look, mister…” But the words stuck to her throat.

  Standing by the threshold, uncertain about his welcome, was the most striking man she had ever seen. The disheveled hair hung damp just below the ears. The luminous grey-green eyes that seemed to plead, were framed by a chiseled face that was made more arresting by a cleft chin. He was wearing a white v-necked shirt under a leather jacket, a pair of faded designer jeans over sneakers, and was noticeably sockless.

  A series of inane thoughts run riot through her mind.

  He needs a haircut…

  Could those eyes be any more intense...?

  How can an imperfection on his chin make him look so sexy?

  “I... err-… I… sorry. We’ve run out of cappuccinos and lattes. I’m afraid all we have is plain coffee,” Cassidy stuttered, unable to gather her wayward thoughts.

  “I like mine black," the man answered as his eyes swept her body from head to toe.

  For some strange reason, Cassidy thought he was referring to her skin tone and a primal shiver ran up her spine.

  Don’t be stupid. Her common sense said. He means he likes it without sugar and cream.

  “Look… I was watching you from across the street and…”

  Stalker! Stalker! Stalker!

  The word repeatedly screamed in her mind as she scurried to the counter. She knew she had a baseball bat hidden under there somewhere, and she wouldn’t hesitate to bash his gorgeous head in.

  “Please, Cassidy? I’m not a psycho. I just really
need my caffeine fix right now,” he said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

  Cassidy was dumbstruck. “How did you even know…?”

  She didn’t get to finish her sentence, interrupted as the stranger pointed to the nametag just above her breast pocket.

  “Oh,” she added feeling utterly foolish.

  Finally summoning some of her sensibility, Cassidy stammered, “It’s rather late… and… and…”

  Just then, the 8:15 bus whizzed by. She missed it. Shit.

  “There goes my bus!” she sighed.

  “Well, I promise I’ll keep an eye out for the next one. Now, can I have coffee while we wait?” he deadpanned as he approached the counter.

  Cassidy didn’t really believe much in destiny or good fortune. All that mystic nonsense happened to someone else, not her. But she did have another forty-five minute wait for the next bus… which was entirely his fault, and he’d better leave a substantial tip for being such a nuisance. Besides, he didn’t really look like a serial killer.