Lainey stood, leaving Payton to finish her snack, and walked back behind the counter only to find that he’d gone on a prep binge. Everything in the coolers, save for a few containers of fruit, was already cut up. There was no way they’d use it all in time. She picked up the cleaning cloth and walked out back, dreading the mess of scraps and juice that would be lying about from Aaron’s efforts, but the place was spotless. He’d even scrubbed away little marks that had been on the tile for years, and it looked like he’d oiled up the wooden bar.
To anyone who wasn’t close to Aaron, who didn’t know him like she did, this would be nothing, maybe even a good thing. Everyone knew Aaron was neat, that he was the kind of guy that cleaned to keep his mind off things, but this much wasn’t normal even for him. It screamed at her. At least he’d done so much that she wouldn’t have anything to do for the rest of the day while she worried about him.
Payton stuck her head in the back room and called out goodbye on her way through to the gym. For the first time ever, Lainey wished she could follow. The juice bar was her baby. She’d been shining the counters, perfecting recipes, and building a client base for years. It didn’t matter that Aaron owned the place. He gave her free rein, and as far as she was concerned she ran the place, and he let her. Nobody handled the customers like she did, and no one else added those special flavor combinations that had people waiting outside before she opened.
That morning, though, it didn’t feel like hers. All the work he’d done while she’d taken a fifteen minute break was a stark reminder of the fact that when it came down to it, it was Aaron’s place, and he’d staked his claim. A faint wisp of him still hung there, haunting her almost as darkly as his psyche must have been that morning, evident in everything he touched. So why did she still want to follow him out to the gym?
When she’d walked in that morning, he’d been sitting half in the dark, eating a muffin and coffee, which meant only one thing. He was binging, and looking at the dark circles under his eyes, not sleeping either. She’d greeted him with a hug, tried to cheer him up, but his colors had shifted only between shades of gray. He’d talked to her, even complimented her, trying to make her smile. There’d been a single yellow ray then, with a touch of sweet pink, trying to edge its way through him, but the gray was too strong and kept clouding it out. He was depressed, definitely, but there was more than that. A darkness really, right near his center, radiating a deep, painful blue. She’d tried to ask him how he was doing, but he’d brushed her off, admitted to nothing. He never would.
Someone cleared their throat. Loudly. The sound pulled Lainey out of her memories and back into the present, late in the afternoon, where she was prepping a blueberry chocolate shake for a customer. “Uh, excuse me,” the woman motioned at Lainey with her hand.
“Yes?”
“What’s that brown stuff you’re putting in my drink?”
Was she serious? “Umm, cocoa powder.”
“I said chocolate.” The woman’s colors flared hot, filled with a random jumble of black spots as she scoffed in Lainey’s general direction. “That’s not chocolate.”
“It’s a powered version, made from the same stuff,” Lainey smiled at the customer, resisting the urge to throw the drink in the woman’s face. Huh. That was unlike her. Maybe Aaron’s moods were rubbing off.
“I want real chocolate, like in a candy bar.”
Sure, that’s just corn syrup, preservatives, cream, and about a hundred other things that aren’t chocolate. Lainey couldn’t smother a sigh. “Would you like me to get you something else?”
The woman turned without saying a word and stormed out. Resisting another sigh, Lainey turned around to bin the drink and stopped dead. Aaron was standing in the doorway, staring at her with bright red desire rushing over him like a ball of fire.
“I—uh . . . Hi,” Lainey stumbled over the greeting as Aaron’s aura overtook any rational thoughts left.
“I need to head out for a bit, get a run in. You okay in here alone for awhile? Rico will watch the gym’s counter.”
“Yes, sure, fine.” Lainey dropped the entire shake in the bin, metal cup and all and quickly turned back around before Aaron could see her hands shaking. She grabbed a rag and bent down to wipe the counter shelf, going over every inch of the surface. When she turned around again, he was gone. She twisted around to find him, standing up and slamming her head into the bottom of the bar.
“Fu—”
“Excuse me, Miss. I’m in a bit of a hurry.” Lainey stood up and caught site of a customer, who was currently leaning over the bar looking at her.
“I am so sorry.”
He huffed and rolled his eyes at her. “Kale shake.”
“Great,” she stood on her tiptoes to see the woman behind him. “And for you?”
“I’ll have a blueberry chocolate.”
“I’ll have those right up.” Lainey went back and pulled out the ingredients, then began making the drinks. Just as she’d turned on the blender, the door opened and without turning around she called out. “Can I help you?”
“What’s up?”
Shit, she knew that voice. What was he doing here now? Lainey turned and there was Josh, leaning up against the counter. He’d lightened his hair since she’d seen him the day before, the tips now almost silver. Holding up a finger, she hustled back to the register and finished the couple’s order, before turning around to reply.
“How are you?” she asked. He had a weird mark on his face, like he’d scuffled with someone.
“Fucking tired as sin.” Leaning back, he folded his arms behind his head, making his biceps and pecs flex and pop.
“Yeah?” The place had finally cleared out, so she could sit for a moment and talk. Josh’s colors were nothing but swirling white again. After the storm of Aaron’s aura just before, it was a nice break.
“Fuckin’ workin’ out every day now,” he stood up and lifted his shirt up just a bit to show off his abs. “Trying to get that perfect six pack, you know?”
Lainey had no idea how to respond to that. Where was Payton when you needed her?
“How’ve you been?” he asked.
“Rushed. Lots of people to deal with.”
“Fuck that.”
“So, um, what do you do for a living?”
“This and that. Got a pretty sweet gig with the construction company right now.”
“That’s cool. So, fighting is like your real love?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“What’s so intriguing about it?” Lainey was curious. His colors were so different to Aaron’s—calmer.
“It’s fun, being able to fight. To defend yourself, I mean. A true fighter doesn’t jerk people around for no reason.”
Lainey frowned. There was something more under that comment. Maybe something to do with that bruise on his face and why Aaron was in a total funk that morning? From the few times she’d seen them together, Josh obviously rubbed Aaron the wrong way, and vice versa, but neither of them had said a word about any of it to her. That bothered her more than it should. Her fingers fidgeted and so she picked up the cloth again to give them something to do.
“Thinking of maybe getting some food later. You wanna come?”
Lainey pushed the worry out of her mind. Why the guys were pissy with each other had nothing to do with her. She wasn’t going to let it get in the way of finally enjoying life. Last night out with Payton had gone okay. “Sure.”
“Cool. What time do you get off?”
“Six.”
There was that smile again. Blinding. “See you then, Sweetheart.” A shiver ran through her at Josh’s voice, but Lainey brushed it off. There was no reason to think he wasn’t just being nice, and there was nothing in his colors to suggest anything else, either. She frowned. Maybe that was the problem. There was nothing there at all, again, just white. She should be enjoying not knowing the man’s next move before he made it. That’s what everyone else had to do every day. Not being able to do so
was just making her second-guess everything.
The sound of the door bell jingling made her look up in surprise. Josh had turned and left while she was worrying about his motives. That was it—she was going to live in the present and stop worrying before she missed her chance. Lainey pushed any further thoughts out of her mind. If she didn’t start the prep for the after-work crowd, she wouldn’t be leaving by six. Usually she never left full cups in the refrigerator, but this was one of those days. She prepared a batch of everything on the menu and began doling them out into separate cups, as many as she could, then stuck them in to chill. They would be just as good as if they came out fresh, but it was all she was going to manage today.
Aaron arrived back from his jog just as she was pouring out the last cup. He was drenched in sweat now, but still also in desire, and he faltered for just a moment when their gazes met. His colors grew larger, almost throbbing as his gaze passed over her body, and she shivered again. Between him and Josh, she was going to end up permanently flustered.
“Hey, Lainey.”
“Hey,” she replied, laughing awkwardly.
“Listen, I, uh, I’m sorry I was so rude this morning.”
“It’s cool.”
“In fact”—he walked over with a smile—“you can leave early if you want. You look a little strung out. I’ll handle closing.”
“Thanks.” Lainey quickly rinsed her hands and grabbed her bag, more than willing to take him up on his offer. Besides, it’d give her a chance to change and freshen up before meeting Josh. Something told her she shouldn’t tell Aaron that. He still had that look in his eyes. Lust. For her. It was completely unmistakable now, and she couldn’t stop thinking about it. His emotions twisted on the wind, which was damn dangerous; it was also a thrill.
8
Aaron
Aaron stepped quickly into his office, slamming the door behind him and dropping into his chair. His heart was flying, and his mind right along with it, even as he was already telling himself to stop. Attachment was a dangerous thing for him, something he could never permit himself to experience again. It hurt when he looked at Lainey, but it would hurt even more when the inevitable happened to her. As much as he wanted to wrap her in his arms and protect her from the world, he was more dangerous.
He placed his hands down flat on his desk, resisting the urge to curl them into fists. Damn it! He was losing his mind, and it wasn’t going to get better anytime soon, not with his body reacting the way it did. Every time he saw her, he was rock hard in an instant. He couldn’t help it any more than he could help lying in bed at night, picturing her face while he jerked himself off to an unsatisfying release.
Lainey’s face drifted to mind again as he sat alone in his office. She was always smiling, seemingly untouched by all the anger and hatred in the world, and there was plenty of them. In this part of town there was undercover vice on every corner, heroin in most bathrooms, and coke in every single bar. Robberies were a daily occurrence, just so addicts could get the hit they needed and stop the chills and shakes. Then that fucker Josh just had to come along. He’d never be able to shield her from all of it—from the entire world, for fuck’s sake. He wasn’t that stupid. Didn’t mean he couldn’t try. He’d been living on the outskirts for years, no longer a king on the MMA circuit, no longer caring either. He’d risen quickly, and fallen even faster.
When he was barely in his twenties, his trainer, Mike, had told him that he could sign him, find a sponsor for local events. Most were held at Pancho’s, a pool hall with half the place closed off to the public. He’d been there before, but he’d never seen behind the curtain. Not until that first night he’d fought for money.
The bartender had a shaved head and his entire body covered in tattoos, including his skull. The defining feature of the back of his head was a giant scar from God knows what, plus he was missing an eye. The man must have made his money the hard way and however he could, because all that was wrong in the world hung out in his bar. That night, Aaron had found out why. He took bets, and then let the men slip into the back sanctum, where a makeshift ring made from plywood and old padding surrounded with a chicken-wire cage stood. More than one man had died back there, but it was never reported. It was a place where hate and fury dripped from the walls, and drinks and drugs flowed freely.
It was the rush, the danger, and the feeling of rebellion that first pulled him into the ring, and the wins that kept him coming back. He got a few broken ribs and eyes so swollen shut they had to be cut open, but it was worth the cash.
He saved every cent, survived on what little he could, and then left when he saw innocence destroyed right in front of his eyes.
Innocence had no place there. That’s why when Aaron saw Anna, he had to say something. She was sweet as could be, with the same smile and bright attitude as Lainey. Her boyfriend Max was a piece of shit. He was cocky and angry, and he’d punch a man out if he didn’t like the way he looked at him.
Every night they came in and he took shot after shot, drinking until Anna had to beg Max to come home. Aaron should have turned away, looked away. It wasn’t anything different than he’d saw at a million different bars. The room was filled with the smoke of everything you could imagine, deals went on in every dark corner—men slinging everything from guns to girls, and making cash doing it. And yet, he couldn’t let her go.
Anna saw a lot, and never lost her cool, but Aaron could tell Max’s business deals—and his habits—bothered her. It bothered Aaron too, and so he took to watching over her, making sure she was safe when Max was too drunk to see. She became a friend, and they’d hide away from the trouble in a back corner and swap stories and laughs. In the end, she became the one bright spot in the middle of all the darkness.
Then he started noticing things. Makeup on just a little too thick, or she’d flinch when he reached out to touch her. One night he couldn’t stand it anymore and he asked her if Max was hitting her. She ran, and stuck by the bastard’s side for the entire next week. When he finally saw her close up again, she was a mess. She’d tried to hide the bruises, but she couldn’t hide the eye that was swollen shut, nor the cut on her forehead. He pressed her to let him help, let him do anything, damn it! But she didn’t talk, and so he didn’t push, just watched her all night. After his fight he looked for her again and found her sitting back in their corner, staring right at him.
That doe-eyed stare, God it was the same one he’d seen cross Lainey’s face when she was scared. The exact same one, except that Lainey was much better at hiding it, sweeping it away before she thought the world noticed. He noticed every time, and it broke his heart. They were so much alike, Lainey and Anna, both able to handle anything the world threw at them with an almost intuitive ability to read others. They could sense the mood in any situation. It was a gift. They even looked alike. Was that why Lainey sent him into a tailspin, just the ghost of a memory? No, it had to be more than that.
When he’d been training growing up, one of his teachers had been big on Eastern philosophy. Aaron never paid much attention to any of it, but when he looked at Anna, all he could think of was lotus flowers. They were tough, their seeds retaining their creative potential almost indefinitely. A lotus seed could withstand almost anything—being frozen, tremendous force, even extreme lengths of time, and still had the potential to grow and flower. They’d grow anywhere, too—stagnant water, mud, and they’d still be the most beautiful flower in the entire world.
Lainey and Anna were both rare beauties who had flourished in a disgusting world, gorgeous and tough enough that you couldn’t put out their spark.
Until one night, someone did.
When Aaron saw Anna’s face that night, he’d wanted to kill Max. He’d nearly rushed over to where the man was standing, rolled cigarette in his hand, and beaten the ever loving shit out of him. Anna had stopped him with a single touch to his arm. She was scared. Max was beating her nightly, and threatening more. One of his backyard deals had gone bad, and he was ta
king out his stress on Anna. Even if she got away from Max, if Aaron “took care” of him, those who were after him would then come after her. She didn’t see any way out. That didn’t mean Aaron gave up right along with her. Instead, he took her outside and held her when she broke down in his arms. He told her he’d protect her always, and that he’d help her get away. He would have taken her away that night, but she wanted to wait, just until Max’s fight the next day, when they could get away with an hour before anyone would notice she was gone.
After she had gone, Aaron realized what the hell he’d promised her. He had no idea where to start. Mike had noticed his pacing and pulled him aside. If there was one person who was more connected in that damn bar than Max, it was Mike, and so Aaron told him everything. He was the only man in that place that Aaron trusted, and Mike followed through, returning quickly with papers, moved some money, even had a car lined up that would be waiting. All he asked in return was that Aaron fight one last match for him. Once it was over, he could grab Anna and get out of there.
He’d won that night, like he always did. As Aaron walked out of the ring, he saw Max heading in. This was it. Skipping a shower, he grabbed his bag and walked as fast as he dared out to the car. That’s where he found her.
Anna.
Lying across the back seat. Covered in cigarette burns and her throat cut open to the bone.
Aaron’s phone rang, startling him out of his memories and almost landing him on the floor. God, it had been weeks since he’d thought of that night. Guilt rushed through him. He knew exactly why.
Lainey.
It was that one day’s hesitation that had killed her. Someone had found out their plans, and had left her laid out waiting for him, as both a warning and example. He may has well have done it himself. Aaron wasn’t going to let that happen again. He couldn’t save Anna, but he could sure as fuck still save Lainey by staying the hell away from her.
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