by Nella Tyler
“It’s really no big deal, and if you keep insisting it is, I’m going to send anonymous donations…from Canada,” I chuckled.
“It won’t matter. Someone will find out it’s you. Everyone in this town knows everything.”
I stared down at her with raised eyebrows and a suggestive look. “Everything, Jenna?”
Her eyes grew wide as her cheeks reddened. “Everything but that, and we’re going to keep it that way,” she growled and released my waist, grabbing my hand and leading me over to where her sister, niece, and brother-in-law were standing.
“Hi, Tim!” Michelle exclaimed, running up to give me a hug. “Thanks for coming!”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it,” I answered as she released me.
“Your father is here, too.”
“I know. Lucky you. I hope he’s been behaving himself.”
“Oh no! He’s been fine. Did you bring him earlier?”
“No. I think he took a ride with Hayden this morning.”
“He looks great!”
“Yeah, I’m real happy with his progress. He definitely has more good days than bad now…not that I ever know the difference.”
“That’s what Jenna said, he talks to everyone but you.”
“Yep, that’s about right.”
“Hi, Tim!” Kassie interrupted loudly.
“This is Mr. Meck,” Michelle corrected instantly.
“Tim is fine, really.” I told her before returning my attention to Kassie. “Hey! This is pretty cool, huh? Are you excited to see your new room?”
“Yeah!” Her eyes lit up with excitement. “It’s gonna look so cool! We’re gonna get all new furniture, too! I want a princess bed.”
“Yes, the town and the neighbors pooled together to help us get some new furniture. We’re going to go pick some out later today for when they finish the house.”
“That’s wonderful! I am so happy for you guys.”
“Thank you for your offer,” Michelle insisted seriously. “It meant the world to us, and I hope you didn’t take offense to Jenna’s answer.”
“Are you kidding? She won’t let me open the door for her. Do you know how nervous I was asking her about it? If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I was asking her for the money to rebuild my house.”
“Aww! You were nervous?” Jenna asked, walking up to us.
“Aunt Jenna, guess what?” Kassie budded in.
“What?”
“I didn’t ask him about his intentions…like you told me not to.”
We laughed, and I was thankful. “Good,” Jenna answered. “But next time, could you not mention that in front of him?”
“Oh…” Her shoulders rose up and down indifferently as she let out a loud giggle. “Too late!” She took off running and Jenna shook her head.
For the next couple of hours, I helped Jenna keep Michelle and Kassie busy while Gavin helped his neighbors plan out the house and build it.
It was about the time that Michelle, Jenna, and Kassie were going to pick up furniture that I realized I hadn't put on a single façade since I arrived. This was the first social gathering in over a decade where I had been completely myself. There was no deal to be made, no position to take. All I had to do was enjoy the company of these genuinely good people and it had worked out perfectly.
Upon realizing this though, I figured out that it was going to make it all the more difficult to say goodbye when the time came for me to leave.
Chapter 32
Jenna
I watched Tim’s arm flex as he picked up the Kassie’s princess canopy bed and moved it to the exact place the four-year-old had indicated. The thought of his strength caused a shiver to run down my spine. I bit my lip slightly and shook the thought of his body surrounding me out of my head.
Instead, I thought about all the work that was put into the house by our neighbors as I admired the work they had done. It had only taken them two weeks with the whole town pitching in and working tirelessly to get my sister and her family moved back in.
Today was the day that the furniture arrived and tonight, as long as we could get it all set up for them, they would be spending their first night in their new house.
“Perfect!” Kassie exclaimed, leaping onto the bed and shutting herself in the canopy. “The princess wishes to be alone.”
“As you command, your highness,” Tim answered, ducking into a bow and walking toward the door, winking at me.
“Isn’t the princess going to say thank you?” I called.
“Oh yeah! The princess is very thankful…but tired. So, thank you. Please leave.”
“You’re welcome,” Tim chuckled before gazing back at me. “We wouldn’t want to upset the princess’ beauty rest, would we?”
I thought about her starfish and half-moon sleeping positions and thought about telling Tim, but figured it would be too much to explain. So, I simply shook my head and spread my hand between his shoulder blades as we left the room together.
“Thank you so much for all of your help.”
“It was nothing,” he assured but I disagreed.
“Well, I want to buy you dinner anyway. My treat, but you have to wear your t-shirt and jeans.”
“Are we going to a honky-tonk? ‘Cause I don’t do honky-tonks. I don’t dance, either.”
“I’ll fix that,” I teased, my lips casually swiping across his mouth. “But I think baby steps are in order. First, going out to eat without looking like you belong in the mob.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I like to dress nice. That isn’t a crime.”
“No, but your butt in those jeans look just as good as any three-piece suit!” I replied playfully smacking him on the ass. He growled and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back into him and pressing me against the freshly-constructed wall.
Instantly, I felt my temperature rise and a pricking of excitement consume me. I giggled, feeling giddy and aroused. His eyes were lustful and in a matter of moments, his turned down face was close to mine, ready to kiss me.
I took in his scent and relished in it as my hands ran up his t-shirt, over his shoulders. His breath was hot as it surpassed my face and drew close to my ear.
“What we did here…was amazing,” he hissed in a low, gravelly voice, “But your secret is safe with me.” With that, he pushed away from me and started to casually walk down the hall, leaving me breathless.
I took him to a local barbecue restaurant where I was fairly certain his clothing would still be nicer than most of the people there. I was right. Fortunately, though, we got a seat in the back where we could talk without having to scream at one another. Although this was the best barbecue in town, the clientele was known for getting a little rowdy from time to time, so it was usually best to stay out of their way.
“Your father seems to be doing better,” I told Tim after we ordered. “At least he’s getting out and about.”
“Yeah. Finally. He’s going stir crazy in that house…though I can’t blame him. He’s stuck there with me – the only person on the planet he seems to have absolutely nothing to say to.” Tim sighed.
“Still?” I asked, remembering the conversation we had before he took his father home from the hospital. “You haven’t had a conversation with your father in all the time you’ve been here with him?”
“Not a complete one,” he admitted. “Every time I feel like we might make progress, one or both of us break down and any positive strides that might have been taken die, quick and painlessly.”
“Why do you think that is? Is there some kind of bad blood, or something?” I knew I was prying, but was curious and he had brought it up. I’d simply made a comment about his father’s wellbeing. He had chosen to share.
“Not that I can think of…” His shoulder shrugged indifferently as his gaze seemed to search the counter for an answer. “Not unless the fact that I am his blood is what he considers bad.” He sighed again, looking up at me with a sense of desperation that was rare.
&nb
sp; “I wish things were different and I thought that surely, eventually, we would find a common ground, but we have never been able to talk – about anything! Sometimes I think Dad disagrees with me for the sole purpose of aggravating me. And that’s when he even says anything.”
“I’m sorry,” I answered. “But I’m sure your father loves you, even if it’s in his own way and I’m sure he feels similarly to how you feel. You are his son, after all and you have been with him throughout this whole ordeal.”
“Then, why doesn’t he say it? Just once? I haven’t heard my father tell me he loves me since I was a little a kid, and I’m not even sure he actually did say it. It might be wishful thinking.” He huffed.
“You know, I don’t need him to be dad of the year, I only want to feel like he is proud of me, at least once,” Tim grumbled and shook his head. “It just feels like no matter what I do to impress him, it is never enough and he never puts forth the effort to understand.”
“I think that your father is proud of you, and I know he loves you. Do you know how happy you made him when he saw you come to that hospital room when you first arrived?”
“No. That’s the point. I can never tell if he wants me around more, or wishes I would drop dead.”
Knowing that he was opening up to me and presuming how difficult that was for him, I resisted any sarcastic comments. Instead, I tried to reassure him. I grabbed his hand and pulled it closer to me. “I don’t believe that.” I told him. “I know you pretty well and I…”
Feeling his skin against mine, my gaze sank to our interlocked hands and instantly, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I stopped talking, let go of his hand, and turned away, unable to take the sight of him any longer.
“What?” he asked, sounding alarmed. “What were you going to say?”
“Nothing,” I snapped, but instantly decided that it was best to let my feelings be known, so I turned back to him and spoke quickly, before I lost my nerve. “Tim, I don’t want you to go. I feel myself falling for you and I want to continue to explore this relationship. I don’t want to let you go.”
“Okay. Come with me,” he answered, almost too easily, as though he was waiting for an opportunity.
For a split second, I thought about it, but knew that my place was here. “You know I can’t do that. I have my family and my job… I love this town. There’s just too much that I would be giving up.”
Tim didn’t look surprised, but he did seem disappointed. “I understand, but for the same reasons, I have to go back. I might not have family there, but there is a life out there that I love, that I have built and would love to share with you. However, I can’t leave it behind.”
I felt an emotional knot form in the pit of my stomach, regretting my words and wanting to pretend they were never said. However, I knew that there was no going back. He had made his decision, and so had I.
“We’ll keep in touch…” he offered, but we both knew that was a fool’s errand.
Even though neither one of us could find the strength to say it, we both knew that when Tim got on that plane tomorrow, anything we might have had would be lost forever.
Chapter 33
Tim
When I got up the next day, filled with a heavy heart and a terrible ache in the pit of my stomach, I found my father was already dressed and in his recliner.
“Good morning, Dad,” I said to him, expecting nothing in return.
“Good morning, Son,” he offered, almost as though he was trying to make amends. “I…uh…already took my pills. I ate and saved you some…”
“Oh okay. Great. How did you do?”
“Good enough. I’ll live.” He flashed a sad grin.
“You’ll be fine, Dad. You have done really well, especially in the last week or so. You’ll be back to your old self in no time.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of…” I could have sworn he muttered, but when I looked back in his direction, he looked away from me hastily. So, I assumed he was finished talking to me and started to gather my bags together.
“Hey...Son?” my father called after watching me for a few minutes. “Come here, please. Sit down. I want to talk to you.”
“Okay,” I answered, unable to suppress the sudden nervousness that was churning my stomach. “Is everything all right?” I asked as I eased onto the couch.
“Yeah! Everything’s fine. Great, actually…I wanted to explain somethin’ to you, is all.”
“Sure.”
“First of all, I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you coming out here, putting your life on hold and making sure I didn’t die.”
“You’re welcome? We might not be all that close, Dad, but I’m going to take care of you the best I can.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s something I’ve known for a while. I just haven’t told you because, well, because I’m an idiot.” When I opened my mouth to speak, he put his hand up. “Hear me out, boy. It’s taken me this long to say it once, I don’t think you’ll ever hear it again.”
I shut up.
“While you were growing up, I know I wasn’t the best father and I realize that I was hard on you, but there was a reason for it.
“Even though I still have no idea what it is you do, I knew that whatever you decided to do, you would excel in. I knew you were too smart for most people and that you would get bored easily, so I stayed on your ass to make sure you didn’t fall off the radar. In the process, I pushed you away. I’m sorry for that, but I am happy that you found something you enjoy as a result.
“No one ever said fatherhood was easy, but it’s a good feeling, knowing your son has found his purpose…” He stopped for a moment before adding, “And, I don’t give a shit that you make too much money for one human being. I’m happy you can eat, but that’s it.
“What I’m more concerned with is that you do something that makes you happy and challenges you. You really have made something of yourself and that hasn’t gone unnoticed.” He grinned and clapped a hand on my shoulder.
“I love you, Tim, and I’m proud of you.” With that, he pulled me into a hug before adding, “And, I know that your mother is proud of you, too.”
“Thanks, Dad. I love you, too,” I replied, trying not to ruin the moment with the amount of emotion I felt rushing at me from all sides. So, after giving him another quick squeeze, I pulled away, shook his hand, and ran out the door, unable to look back.
During the ride to the airport, my head spun unmercifully. I couldn’t believe that conversation had taken place. I was happy, but confused. I knew it had taken almost everything my old man had to say those things to me, but still, I wondered why he had waited until now.
With an even heavier heart, I received my plane ticket and stepped out of line toward the baggage check and I stopped. I stared at my ticket and was immediately immersed in thought. I have waited my whole life for my father to tell me he is proud of me. Now that it finally happened, why the hell am I leaving?
It was at that moment that it dawned on me: I wasn’t only leaving the first breakthrough my father and I had ever had in our relationship, I was also leaving the only woman who made me feel loved.
I have to stay, I thought, rushing back to reclaim my rental car.
With a renewed sense of clarity, I rushed to Jenna’s house and knocked on the door as soon as I reached the front stoop. “Jenna?” I called, knocking again and receiving only silence.
Gazing over at her driveway, I noticed that her car wasn’t there, so I decided that she was probably spending the day with her sister. As quickly as I could, I returned to my car and headed to Michelle’s house. When I got there, I felt slightly awkward, but my determination ensured that I kept moving forward.
Without hesitation, I knocked on the door, hoping that someone would answer. After a moment, Michelle opened the door, looking surprised to see me.
“Hi!” I gasped, slightly out of breath. “Is Jenna here?”
“No,” Michelle responded, a slight grin playing at her lip
s. “Believe it or not, she packed a bag and is on a plane to California.”
“What?” I demanded as my last hope for salvation depleted. I had no idea why she was smiling. “She’s…where?” Even though I’d heard her, my brain had officially stopped functioning. I couldn’t think of an articulate response, being crushed by the weight of the news.
However, after a moment of amazed and bewildered silence, my phone started to ring and Jenna’s name popped up on my screen. Not sure what to expect, I felt my heart start to pound rapidly in my chest.
Chapter 34
Jenna
I was sure that by now, I would have recognized Tim Meck anywhere, but the sight of him walking through the airport toward me was surely one of my best memories.
Again, I felt like bursting into tears, but I contained myself and hastened my step toward him. “So much for dramatic surprises,” I offered as he took my bags from me.
“I’m happy you called before getting on that plane,” he replied, leaning in to kiss me.
“Me, too,” I confirmed when we broke away.
He shook his head and stared at me in a teasing manner. “I can’t believe you,” he offered. “Come on. I’m starving. Let’s get something to eat.”
Without giving me much of a chance to respond, he turned and started to walk toward the circular food court.
We both got something to eat and found a seat in the café-style dining area.
“What do you mean, you can’t believe me?” I asked once we were settled. “I thought you knew me pretty well. I half thought you insisted on going so that I would follow you.”
“You were going to give up your entire life – everything and everyone you love – for me?” he responded, sounding shocked and ignoring my jab at his devious mind altogether.
“Sure,” I replied nonchalantly. “I mean, it’s California, not the underworld. You make it sound like I would’ve never seen them again. And, besides, do you know how much fun Kassie would have in California?”
“But…your job…” he replied, still partially ignoring my attempt at actually having a conversation with him about why I made the decision that I acted on.