by Nella Tyler
It was a relief not to have to lie to my mom and dad about where I would be going, who I would be spending time with. It felt good to openly see Cade, to go out with him without trying to make sure we didn’t look like we were too close, or going out of our little town to make sure no one saw us being too familiar.
I found out one afternoon when I went to get some things for my mom in town that apparently the fact of Cade and me being together had become a hot topic for everyone. Someone congratulated me for “snatching up the last decent man in town,” and another girl I barely knew except by name said that she would have to try and conquer her envy of me to be happy for me.
It turned out that apparently Cade was quite the catch—and equally apparently, there were men in town who’d been waiting for the chance to come court a single mother, who were kicking themselves for not applying to the job my dad had posted.
When Cade and I told each other about what we’d heard from friends around town, while we lay in bed together—at his place, since I still didn’t want to be too obvious about just how serious we were in front of my parents—we both laughed at the fact that we’d clearly been the most eligible bachelor and bachelorette in town, without even knowing a thing about it.
The harvest came to an end, but there was still lots of work to be done; the corn had to be processed and prepared for shipping, and then, too, Cade had agreed with my father to continue through to the winter, getting the fields ready for the next growing season by putting them down to lie fallow through the cold weather.
I mentioned the Farmers’ Ball to Cade in passing. I hadn’t gone to the event in years, and I hadn’t expected to go at all, since I’d been left by Titan and didn’t think it would be all that seemly for a single mother to go when it was one of the romantic events of the year. But as soon as Cade heard about it, he’d asked me to go with him. “I’m technically a farmer now,” he’d pointed out to me.
“You’re a farmhand,” I had corrected him playfully.
“Does it make that much of a difference? Are we going to be turned away at the door since I’m only a farmhand and you’re only a farmer’s daughter?” I’d rolled my eyes at that, but I’d agreed to go. I was actually excited about the ball for the first time in years. Cade offered to pick me up, and I took advantage of my newfound freedom to ask my parents to watch Addie for me for the night.
When Cade picked me up for the ball, I felt as giddy as I had the first time I’d been old enough to go. I was going to spend the evening dancing with him, having fun, pretending at least like I was a carefree woman, instead of a single mom. We drove into town together and I wasn’t sure if I was more excited about the prospect of the ball or the possibility of spending the night at Cade’s place afterward.
After we’d danced for a few hours and chatted with friends, and when one of the teenaged girls won the Belle of the Ball award and there was nothing more for us to do, I’d gone back to his place more than ready to get out of my dress and heels and slip into bed with him.
Even my mom was thrilled for me. I was pretty sure it was more the fact that I had a little romance in my life than that it was Cade specifically, but while we worked around the house day in and day out, she asked me about our dates and if I thought we were serious. I told her that I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t lying, but I definitely hoped that there was a future between me and Cade...and I thought there might be.
Instead of becoming bored because our relationship wasn’t a big secret, I liked him more and more when we had a chance to spend time together openly and be upfront about the fact that we were seeing each other. Dad was a little less pleased, but he was willing to let me make my own choices in the matter.
Tuck was different. He’d gotten so used to silently holding the threat of telling Dad over my head that when he found out that Cade and I were no longer hiding our relationship, it was like something inside of him snapped. He complained to me constantly about how Cade was just trying to show him up, make him look like he was irresponsible or not as good. Of all the people who had something to say about Cade and me, Tuck was the only one who was negative about us.
“You know he’s only dating you to strengthen his case when he tries to talk Dad into selling to him,” he told me one evening when we were both sitting on the front porch.
“Cade isn’t interested in buying any part of the farm,” I countered. “He wants to work honestly and be paid honestly. I’d think you’d at least appreciate the fact that harvesting went smoother than ever this year.”
“Except that Dad is constantly going on about what a big help Cade is being and how he doesn’t know how he managed without him up until this year,” he said, sounding more like a sulky baby than my own baby did when I told her she couldn’t have Mallomars for dinner.
“If you’re so worried about being shown up,” I told him tartly, “maybe you ought to focus on making it hard for him to do it.” Tuck glared at me as I shrugged. “You’re wasting all your energy trying to get him fired or something when you could be showing Dad how helpful and responsible you are. What do you think is going to impress him more?”
Tuck grumbled something I couldn’t quite make out and looked away. “I just want to know that things are going to work out,” he said finally. “I don’t want to have to keep proving myself to Dad for him to trust me, especially when Cade is making it harder.”
“Focus on your own work,” I told my brother. “That’s the best way to get Dad’s approval. He’s always told both of us that he cares more about us working hard than he does about us being perfect at what we’re doing. Mistakes can be corrected; doing nothing can’t.”
“Whatever,” Tuck said, scratching at some of the paint on the railing. “Cade’s contract will be up soon, anyway. Don’t be surprised if he dumps you as soon as the work’s not going anymore and he doesn’t have any more chances to win Dad over to selling to him.”
I shook my head at my brother’s insistence on some kind of conspiracy with Cade. It made absolutely no sense to me, but I knew better than to try and make him see reason when he was in that mood. I let him go back into the house before I collected my daughter and went back to my own place. Tuck would just have to get used to it.
Chapter Thirty Six
Cade
I almost wanted to thank Tuck for picking a fight with me when I saw how much better it was to be with Autumn openly, but I figured that thanking him would just annoy him more. When Autumn told me about Tuck’s big, paranoid theory that I was trying to muscle him out and buy the farm for myself someday, I had to decide that it wouldn’t make sense to do something that would just end up picking another fight.
Bob Nelson was obviously still not entirely onboard with Autumn and me dating, but I had to hope that when I showed that I meant to be with her for the long haul—that I was really and truly interested in her, not just toying with her for a while—he’d be more comfortable with the idea. I only had a little while left in my contract with him, and then I’d be totally free and clear of the obligation I’d made.
Even though Autumn and I had been seeing each other for less than a year, I was already pretty certain that things would play out in the usual way: we’d get more and more serious, see each other so often that it didn’t make sense to live in separate places anymore, and then we’d move in together. I debated in my mind whenever the thought occurred to me whether it would be better for her to move in with me, or me with her, or if we both took a new place together in town.
We were sitting outside, on the porch to the guest house where she lived, when the thought jumped up in my mind again. “You ever think about what things will be like say...three months from now? Or six?”
Autumn had whipped up a quick, light dinner for us. It was too hot for anything heavy, and she’d teased me that the big reason for the vegetable-heavy meal was that she needed to take care of the last bits of produce in the garden, rather than letting them go to waste.
“What do you mean?” Au
tumn turned her head and glanced at Addie, who’d had her fill of tomatoes, corn, zucchini, carrots, and chicken. “Not-uh, Adelyn. You are just going to hurt yourself if you try to get out of that playpen, and I am not about to feel bad for you if you do.” Addie looked at her mother with big baby eyes and then turned her attention to one of the toys in the pen with her.
“I mean with us,” I said. “Do you see us being together in three months, or six months?” Autumn gave me a quick look, and I realized—too late—that it was probably a sensitive question for her.
“If I didn’t see us together for at least the next six months, I would probably not have gone along with dating openly,” she said, taking a bite of tomato salad. “The last thing I need is to be the jilted girlfriend again.”
“I would never cheat on you,” I told her, reaching out to take her free hand in mine. “Whatever else—if we end, it will be because you tell me you want it to end.” Autumn looked skeptical still for a moment, but then smiled.
“That’s good to know,” she said. “Why the sudden interest in months from now?”
I shrugged. “My lease is coming up in January,” I told her. “I was wondering if maybe—assuming we don’t screw this up—we could talk about moving in together.” Autumn’s eyes widened and she stared at me for a moment.
“You want me to move in with you?”
I nodded. “If you’re interested,” I said. “Or if your parents are okay with it, I could move in here. Whatever way you’re most comfortable. I want us to be together as much as possible, and living together would be the way to do that.”
Autumn stared at me again for a moment and then began to smile. “You really want to live with me? And Addie, too?”
“No, I’m going to force you to abandon your child in order to have a relationship with me,” I joked with a laugh. “Of course I want Addie to live with us—if you’re okay with that.” Autumn’s smile grew bigger.
“I’d love that,” she told me. “I just... I don’t want to rush into anything, but I would really love living with you.” I reached out and gave one of her fingers a little tug.
“I don’t want to rush anything either,” I told her. “I want us both to be sure. But I know that I want to live with you.”
We kept talking while we ate, discussing what it would be like, whether we’d live together in either her house or mine or an entirely new place, what Autumn wanted to give Addie, and it felt so good to me that I almost couldn’t believe it. I’d given up on the prospect of settling down with anyone until I’d met Autumn. I’d thought that it just wasn’t in the cards for me, but the way I felt about her was different to how I’d ever felt about a woman I’d dated in the past.
I wanted to share my day with her, I wanted to do the chores together and give Addie the father she deserved to have. I stayed just shy of saying how much I’d come to care about Adelyn; I thought that for Autumn it might put her in a weird position to think about another man taking over fatherly duties for her daughter so soon.
“What do you think about me working for your Dad again next year?” I picked up my plate and followed Autumn into the guest house to start on the dishes.
“Now that he’s okay with us dating, I think I’d like that,” she said, smiling. She took up her position at the sink, and I brought in the rest of the dishes from dinner, helping to put away leftovers while she got the water going and started scrubbing.
“That’s assuming Tuck doesn’t keep having problems with me, I guess,” I said, remembering the altercations between Autumn’s brother and me.
“He’ll just have to get over it,” she said with a shrug. I began drying plates and bowls and silverware. Addie was still on the porch, but we were so far out from anywhere that she would be safe for the next few minutes while her mother washed up.
“Do you think he will? I’d hate to put a strain between you and your brother.” She shrugged again, handing me a plate to dry.
“Either he will or he won’t,” she said. “I’m not in the business of satisfying Tucker Nelson.”
I chuckled. “Your father seems to be worried about him.”
Autumn snorted. “Dad’s worried that Tuck’s going to push things too far and then he’ll have to cut him off.” We kept talking for a little while longer about her brother and how he might make things difficult for us, and then went back out into the porch. Addie was still occupied with her toys. I wasn’t sure she’d even noticed us going back inside.
As we talked, though, I noticed that Autumn seemed distracted. I thought at first that it was because she was trying to work out how she and her daughter would fit in with a future she wanted with me, and the relationship she had with her brother, but slowly, I started to think that it was something else.
I almost thought she looked self-conscious when we started talking about Addie together, and I had to wonder what was going on. Maybe she didn’t entirely trust me yet to have a closer relationship with her daughter? I couldn’t entirely blame her for that. She was a good mother, and the father of her child had abandoned her. She would—should—be a little gun shy.
Autumn let out a little startled noise and then reached around to her back pocket, shaking her head with a wry little grin. “I forgot that I set my phone to vibrate,” she told me.
“That could come in handy,” I suggested, grinning back at her. She rolled her eyes and unlocked her screen, glancing at Addie and then looking down at the text message she’d received. I watched as her face went bright red, and then pale. “Something wrong?” I’d never seen her expression change so much in a span of only a few seconds. She looked shocked, alarmed, angry, sad, panicked, and then the normal calm came back over her face.
“It’s nothing,” she said, giving me a tight smile. “Just something I wasn’t anticipating. No big deal, though.” She turned her phone off and slipped it back into her pocket, and for the rest of the time I was there, I never saw her look at it again.
Chapter Thirty Seven
Autumn
I tried as best as I could to play off the text message I’d gotten, but I was sure that Cade knew there was more to it than some shocking little tidbit of information. I felt like my phone was glowing in my back pocket, heating up, almost burning me with the incriminating text message.
Don’t be ridiculous. He knows that Titan texted you before. It’s not like you’re cheating on him with your ex.
In fact, I had managed to put Titan completely out of my mind when Cade and I had started to see each other openly. I’d not heard from him about coming into town and eventually when I did think of him, I figured that he’d decided not to visit his family after all. I could remember thinking fleetingly that it was a shame for his parents to miss him, but as far as I was concerned, if he didn’t have any real desire to meet his daughter, I didn’t care to see him at all.
But the message that I’d gotten told a very different story. Hey! I wanted to let you know I finally got into town this morning. Got any time for me?
I had shut my phone off completely and put it away in my pocket for the rest of Cade’s visit, but the words had seared themselves on my mind. I’d just been thinking of the fact that Titan had almost completely disappeared out of my life when the message had come in. It wasn’t fair.
There was a part of me that wanted to message Titan back and tell him that I’d reconsidered, that I didn’t want him to have any part of my life or Addie’s, and that if he tried to force some kind of connection, I’d send my Dad and my brother to talk to him about it. But I knew that I couldn’t. My parents would stand up for me, but I knew that they would be disappointed. If Titan wanted to have some part in his daughter’s life, I shouldn’t be putting up any barriers to it.
I managed to keep it together while Cade was still at my place. I could tell that he was hoping for an invitation to stay the night, but I was fairly certain that if I let him stay over, I’d end up spilling the beans to him. You would think that after the festival and everything else
that had happened, I wouldn’t feel like I needed to hide Titan’s messages to me from Cade, but I did anyway.
I didn’t want him to think that there was anything at all between Titan and me, but I also didn’t want to be petty and deny Titan the possibility of having a relationship with his child for no real reason other than my own annoyance with him.
Cade helped me get Addie ready for bed, and I thought to myself that having someone I was in love with and cared about helping me with my daughter, treating her like his own was exactly what I had been hungry for ever since Addie had been born. I had no idea if Cade actually wanted the job of being a father to her, but I could hope that he did. I didn’t think there was a way for us to have the future we’d talked about that evening if he wasn’t ready to bring himself up to that.
I didn’t want to make him leave, but I also couldn’t let him stay. I knew I needed to do the right thing and reply to Titan, and I couldn’t make myself do that while Cade was watching me.
I didn’t want to lie to him exactly, but I wasn’t sure that I could deal with telling him everything about the situation. I wasn’t sure—even still—how Cade felt about the fact that I felt obligated to let Titan have a chance to get to know his daughter. I kissed him for as long as I could, pressing my body tightly against his, wishing that I could just put everything other than him, my parents, and my daughter a million miles away from both of us.
Once I was alone—Addie in bed, Cade on his way home—I poured myself a glass of wine and tried to psych myself up for replying to Titan’s message. I turned on my phone and unlocked the screen, taking a sip of my wine. The message came right back up as soon as I opened the app for it, and I looked at Titan’s comment to me.
I was a little confused at the fact that Titan had asked if I had time for him, as opposed to wanting to see Adelyn or asking if I had time to arrange a meeting. But I decided that I was going to be straightforward.