by Nella Tyler
“Oh—right, sorry,” I grinned, and Natalie smiled, but it wasn’t her usual warm, open smile. I took my turn and missed yet again. “I mean, it’s just that she’s really interesting, you know?”
“Well, I’d hope that if she was boring, you wouldn’t be looking for a second date with her,” she pointed out.
“Of course,” I said. I watched her take her turn and stepped up to make another shot at my ball after she’d managed to get to within a few inches of the hole. “Where do you think I should take her for a second date? I should probably come up with something fun, something that’s a little less traditional—don’t you think?”
“I think that you hopefully know her better than I do,” Natalie said.
“I’ll see if Trevor can come up with some ideas for me. He’s been really good so far with what he’s put together for me for our sessions. Maybe I’ll take her to a roller rink! That’d be fun.”
“Sure,” she agreed. I putted my ball and managed to get it over to the other side of the hole from where Natalie’s sat.
“It’s just really gratifying to finally go out with someone who’s really interested in me, who actually wants to go out with me, you know?”
“Right,” she said. She took her putt and managed to sink it, and I went up for what I hoped would be my last shot at the ball for that hole.
“I’d almost say that mini-golf would be a fun idea, but I don’t want to spend the whole date with Brigitte thinking about my dating coach—at least, not any more than I did the last time, remembering all of your advice and tips.” I sunk the ball and we moved on.
“Movies are always good,” Natalie said, lining up her shot at the next tee. “I was hoping I could take Brady to the next Pixar movie that comes out, actually.”
“Those are great movies,” I agreed. “Can he sit still through a whole movie?”
“That’s what I’m waiting to see,” she explained. “Of course, at three, he doesn’t have much in the way of focus, but he pays pretty good attention to the TV shows I let him watch sometimes. So hopefully by the time it comes out in a few months, he’ll be up for it.”
“It must be exciting, though, watching him start to develop into a fully aware person,” I pointed out. In the back of my mind, more thoughts about Brigitte began to pile up. “I asked Brigitte if she was interested in ever having kids, you know.”
“Did you?” I took my putt, and managed to land it in one, but only because I’d played probably dozens of holes with a windmill obstacle before.
“I did,” I replied. “She said that right now with her career, she’s not looking to settle down just yet, but that she does want to have kids eventually.”
“Very diplomatic of her,” Natalie said. I laughed.
“I think it was probably the truth,” I pointed out. “She seems ambitious.”
“There are different kinds of ambitions,” she countered. “Some people have wide ones and some have narrow ones.”
“Brigitte seems to have her head screwed on pretty much the right way,” I told her. “She wants to have it all, or as much of it as she can get.”
“More power to her,” she said as we moved to one of the last three holes of the mini-golf course.
“I’m probably just being ridiculous, but I think she’s probably one of the more interesting women I’ve met. Can you imagine being fluent in three or four different languages?”
“Not really,” she admitted. “I used to be semi-fluent in French, but I’m pretty rusty now. She sounds very accomplished.”
“She’s great,” I said. “I’m really looking forward to seeing how things go on a second date. I might start asking a few other women out, too, see if I can get in some more practice before Katie starts setting me up with people.”
“That’s a great idea,” Natalie said.
“Or I might just stick with Brigitte for a little while, along with the sessions with you. She’s really interesting.”
“You’ve mentioned that,” Natalie said, giving me a little smile I couldn’t quite read.
“I know,” I told her. “I’m just so thrilled that I actually had a successful date, you know?” We came to the second-to-last hole of the course and I grinned at Natalie.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Natalie
When Zeke had first begun telling me about his date with Brigitte, I tried to do the right thing—the professional thing—and be encouraging. I tried to keep myself focused on the task at hand, which was to hear about his ventures and keep him on track, provide him with feedback about how he could improve his odds, how he could refine his dating techniques.
But as the game wore on, and the holes on the course got more and more difficult, I started to feel flustered. Not only was I struggling to keep up with the game as my wrist and knee beginning to hurt, but the ongoing rush of Zeke’s praise of Brigitte started to get on my nerves. Try and change the subject again, see if it sticks this time, I told myself. I didn’t want to make a fuss about Zeke going on a date with someone—especially when we were technically just client and coach, not anything more—but I couldn’t keep listening to more and more praise of this strange new woman in his life.
“I read an article recently, saying that golf—the traditional kind, at least—is actually really good for you,” I said.
“I’ll have to reconsider bringing Brigitte here then,” Zeke said. I closed my eyes.
“You know,” I told him, carefully keeping my voice as neutral as possible, “even considering this a practice date, and not the real thing, it’s generally considered bad manners to monopolize the conversation, especially about someone who isn’t present at the date.”
“Oh,” he said. I opened my eyes, keeping my smile plastered on my face as strongly as I could. I had started trying to wean myself off of the pain pills completely, especially for dates like the one I was on—where I was working with clients—I didn’t think it was safe or professional to even have a half-dose of an opiate in my system while I was supposed to be present and aware. “I’ve just been waiting to tell you all about the date, you know—I wanted to see what you thought of it, and I guess I’m a bit overexcited about Brigitte. She’s really great, you know?”
Before I could control myself, I gripped the putter tightly in my hands and turned to face Zeke. “I don’t care,” I said. “I really don’t care that much about how your date went. I’m glad I could help you score with her or whatever, but unless it went wrong somewhere, it’s not like you have to tell me every little detail about how perfect and awesome and wonderful she is.” The words tumbled out of my mouth almost uncontrollably, one after the other. He stared at me in shock, and in the back of my mind I thought that I should walk away, wait until I could regain my composure, but I kept speaking. “And really, it’s not even like you’re ready for actual dating! You can’t even manage to make the effort to pretend like you care about what’s going on in my life other than for maybe—what—three minutes total the entire time we’ve been here?”
“We’ve talked about your life for more than three minutes,” he said, his voice starting to tighten and while his face fell into defensive, almost angry lines.
“Every topic of conversation I try and pull up, you somehow manage to turn it into something about Brigitte,” I pointed out heatedly. “Don’t you think that if you tried that with any of the women that Katie is going to set you up with, you’re going to strike out with every last one of them?” I putted the ball angrily and nearly threw the golf club down in frustration. I knew what the real problem was: I’d felt the first tendrils of jealousy as soon as Zeke had mentioned his date with Brigitte.
“Well, obviously,” he sputtered. “It’s not like I’d mention a real date I’d been on with any other real date I went on.”
“You’re supposed to be treating this like practice,” I told him. “You should at least have the decency to pay enough attention to the person you’re talking to that you can realize that they don’t feel
like continuing in whatever topic of conversation you keep pushing on them!” I took a deep breath. “If you keep going this way, you’re not going to find any long-term success with anyone because you’re just going to keep offending the women you go out with.”
“What’s up with you tonight?” He scowled at me. “You’re supposed to be my dating coach. I thought I would tell you about a successful date I had gone on. I thought you’d be glad.” I clenched my teeth and breathed in slowly through my nose. My heart was pounding in my chest. I exhaled and picked up my club.
“Please,” I said, opening my eyes and meeting Zeke’s gaze. “Please pay attention to the feedback I’m giving you.” I breathed in deeply again and felt myself calm down—just a little bit, but enough to keep from flying off the handle once more. “I know I’m being really tough on you right now, but the basic point I’m making is a valid one. You need to pay better attention to the person you’re speaking to. You need to learn when to focus on what they want to talk to.”
“Okay,” he said, stepping back from me slightly. “I’m sorry I offended you.”
I sighed. “You didn’t offend me,” I told him, shaking my head. I swallowed against the bitter taste in the back of my throat and forced myself to stay on task. “You frustrated me a little bit, but I might also still be… a little bit sensitive after the whole thing with Nathan Giles.” I knew for a fact that that wasn’t the reason I’d blown up at Zeke, but I couldn’t tell him the real reason; I could barely admit to myself the fact that my feelings had taken over. “I think—as much as I hate it—I should probably go home, call it a night.”
“Why don’t you let me buy you a drink? We can call the game in your favor, and sit and calm down for a bit,” Zeke suggested. “We’ll collect some prizes, talk about other things, and you can go home to Brady and get some rest once you’re nice and relaxed.” The thought of having a drink with Zeke—of talking like just two people, not as client and coach, not fighting—was tempting, I had to admit. But I knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep from mentioning Brigitte at least a few more times, and I knew that it would only continue to irritate me, even if I shouldn’t let it.
“Really, I think it’s probably best for both of us if I just go home,” I said. “I’ve been off of the pain pills for most of the day, and my knee and wrist are still pretty out of whack. I think I’m going to go home, take half a pill, and see if the babysitter will stay for another hour while I nap.”
“Are you sure? I could call you a cab, or something like that,” Zeke said.
“That’d just mean I’d have to take a cab back here tomorrow to pick my car up,” I pointed out. “I apologize for blowing up at you—I shouldn’t have let myself get so irritable.” I collected my golf ball from where it had landed near the hole. “I really do think that it’s best if I just go home and rest up a bit.”
“Okay,” he said, still looking more than a little worried. “Please text me to let me know you arrived home safely.”
“I can do that,” I said. It was actually a pretty kind precaution on his part. We went back to the front of the mini-golf place and turned in our balls and clubs, and I limped into the parking lot, feeling thoroughly sorry for and ashamed of myself. I could feel Zeke watching me as I made my way to my car, and I unlocked the door and climbed in as quickly as possible, wanting to put as much distance between myself and the disaster of a session as I could as quickly as possible.
I pulled out of the parking spot I’d taken, shaking my head at my own outburst. How had I let myself get so irritated, so consumed with petty jealousy that I lashed out at a client over what was perfectly understandable excitement? Zeke’s probably mostly thrilled that he could even have a successful date with someone, I pointed out to myself as I started for home. For someone in his position, who gave up on dating a long time ago because it never seemed to go anywhere, the night out with Brigitte would be a revelation.
I pushed that thought aside, the other part of my mind countering that even if I excused his enthusiasm, the fact that he had basically refused to pay attention to the cues I was giving him was testament to his self-absorption. I had tried to change the subject at least four or five times, and every single time, he had managed to turn the conversation back onto the woman he had gone on a single date with. He was completely wrapped up in the fact that Brigitte—an ambitious, career-oriented woman with no kids who was somehow exciting to him—had accepted his offer of a date that he hadn’t even cared whether or not I wanted to keep talking about it.
But then, I countered myself again. I could have changed the subject more directly; I could have told Zeke that I didn’t want to talk about his date long before I became so irritated at his continued insistence on that topic that I blew up at him. I could have been proactive. But I had been obsessed with making sure that I wasn’t obviously reacting for my feelings towards him—conflicted and confusing as they were—that I had tried to keep myself from saying anything at all at the risk of making it seem like I was being petty and jealous. And, considering how I blew up at him, that worked out super well, I thought sarcastically. I had potentially screwed up my working relationship with Zeke because I hadn’t been able to bring myself to deal with what he was doing.
I did give myself a certain amount of leeway for the fact that I was still in more than a tiny bit of pain from the assault I’d been subject to at Nathan Giles’ hands a week before, but I knew without even having to question it that the greater part of my issue was my feelings towards Zeke. If I couldn’t even handle him being excited about a single first date with someone I didn’t even know and had never even heard of until he mentioned her, how was I going to deal with the feedback and discussion of dates that he would have in weeks or months to come? When Katie finally started pairing him up with women that she’d decided would be compatible with him, how was I going to keep my professional distance, if I couldn’t make myself stay professional with one date?
As I pulled up to my apartment building’s entrance, I thought to myself that I was an idiot. I shook my head, grateful that things hadn’t gotten uglier than they had, but also certain that I’d hear from Katie in a matter of days. She’d tell me that Zeke had complained about me, and I’d end up telling her the whole story. I might even get fired for my trouble. As I found my assigned parking spot, I thought that if I wanted to save my job, I should probably go to Katie at the first opportunity and ask to be reassigned, or at least taken off of Zeke’s case. I clearly couldn’t deal with him continuing on in the program.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Zeke
I stretched against the tightness in my neck and shoulders, glancing at the screen of my phone; I was supposed to be home an hour ago, but I’d stayed late at work. It had been the third time in a week that I’d decided to do that, and I was starting to run out of reasons to do it. Just text her. See if she feels like talking. What’s the worst that could happen?
I hadn’t seen Natalie in a little over two weeks, since she’d blown up at me at the mini-golf place. Katie had asked me a week before if I was still interested in continuing my coaching sessions—and she hadn’t mentioned anything about Natalie dropping me as a client—but I hadn’t been able to give her a real answer. The truth was that I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to keep going or not. I knew that I wanted to see Natalie again, but I didn’t quite trust my reasons.
I sighed. Nothing was going to solve the problem until I talked to Natalie again; I was being a coward not to at least see if she wanted to keep me as a client, work with me the way that she had for weeks before the incident between us. You’ve taken a long enough break. You can get in touch. I looked at my phone again and started to reach out to grab it, but stopped. If Natalie had wanted to get in touch with me, wouldn’t she have done it by now?
This is bullshit. Just text her. I picked up my phone and unlocked the screen, thinking about what I should say. After a moment, I opened up the message thread with her and started typing. Hey! I
hope you’re fully recovered from that incident with what’s-his-face. How have you been? I tapped send and set my phone aside, turning my attention back onto my computer. I would do a little work, wait and see if she replied, and then I’d go home.
A few minutes later, my phone vibrated and I snatched it up, unlocking the screen again. I’m feeling much better! Sorry I haven’t been in touch. I thought about it—did I really want to call Natalie? She hadn’t given me much of an opening. I texted her back, asking if she was free to talk on the phone. I have probably about fifteen minutes before I need to leave and pick Brady up from his grandparents’ house. Fifteen minutes was good. We couldn’t possibly say anything that would make matters worse between us in fifteen minutes.
I called her. “Hey,” I said, as soon as I heard the line connect.
“How have you been?” I considered the question.
“Mostly good,” I told her. I pressed my lips together. Might as well come out with it. “Things pretty thoroughly fizzled out with Brigitte,” I admitted.
“That sucks. What happened?” I smiled wryly to myself. I might be willing to be honest with Natalie about the fact that things hadn’t worked out with Brigitte, but I wasn’t quite willing to admit why.
“Just didn’t seem to work out. We had a second date, and it never went anywhere else from there.” I shrugged, even though I knew she couldn’t see me. “I guess I still have a lot to learn from you.” She chuckled.
“Well, it may not have been anything I could have helped—keep that in mind,” she said.
“That’s true,” I agreed. The real reason that things hadn’t worked out with Brigitte was that I couldn’t seem to find her as interesting as I’d hoped. Our first date had gone so well. I was so excited to have dinner with her, and everything she had told me about her life had seemed intriguing. But on our second date, in spite of the fact that she had looked great and been just as talkative as she had the first time, I just couldn’t quite get into it. Compared to Natalie, I wasn’t sure anyone else could be interesting enough. Definitely, after that outburst, she qualifies as interesting. “I wanted to ask…are you still willing to work with me? I got a call from Katie the other day and I didn’t know… I mean, after the thing that happened between us, I wasn’t sure.”