She pouted.
‘Too easy for Thornton to get you back.’
That she understood. She gave him a knowing look. ‘You want me, mister?’
‘No,’ Cash said, knowing she did not believe him. In her world, all men wanted her.
They walked to the boat together. Cash was alert – eyes would no doubt be watching them. It was not too late for the men to try to get her back. Cuddy obviously thought the same. Passing the tavern, she clung so close to Cash that she nearly tripped him but no one interfered with them. He carried the breech loader over his shoulder, which may have helped.
He hoisted the sail of the lugger and cast off, feeling a huge sense of relief as they headed down-river.
*
After Cash had left the farm and headed downstream with Cuddy, Jack came out of the house and climbed to the top of the granite bluff. He sat on the sun-warmed rock and watched far below him the line of the river as it headed east to Sydney Cove and the sea. The bush flowed like a sage-green tide over the silent, dreaming land.
He clenched his trembling fingers into fists, willing them to be still, but they did not obey him.
Cash had taken the girl away with him. Thank God. He told himself that he had wanted her to go because he found her unattractive. With her lank, unwashed hair, her pasty skin, her air of snivelling helplessness, it was reasonable enough. Who could be attracted by her? He knew the truth was different. He didn’t care about her looks, and her helplessness excited him. If she had stayed, he would not have been able to keep his hands off her. Her submissiveness would have made it worse. He had a fantasy of beating her until the weals rose crimson across her white body.
He stared sightless at the far reaches of the river, glinting between the trees. Lust was in his mouth, in his loins. He shuddered, shaking himself like a dog. He breathed deeply, in-out, in-out, willing self-control. Slowly, the heat left him.
At length he got to his feet and began to walk the boundaries of the farm, eyes noting the green lushness of the grass, the brown soil, feeling the earth stable and comforting beneath his feet. As always, this communion with the land restored him.
As long as he could remember, he had been shaken by these fits. The need to punish was strong in him, a need to match the sinful desire of the flesh. As a child, he had bent small animals to his will. He remembered frogs, a field mouse, once a kitten.
At fourteen, a girl a year older than himself and not quite right in the head had seduced him, guiding his hands and his body as she lay sprawled behind the barn. She had giggled softly and talked on and on, to herself, to him, to nobody, a mindless squirt of words, breathless and incessant. He had pushed himself into her and climaxed at once. Afterwards, he felt only horror.
Her sly eyes had glinted up at him. ‘Not much to ’ee then, mister, ’f that’s best ’ee can do.’ She giggled, the sound fat and witless in the sunlight. ‘Reckon I’ve had better from a dog. Yais. Better from a dog.’ And he had hit her, again and again, on the face with its vacant drooling mouth, the white belly, the barely-formed breasts, beating his knuckles against her in loathing of her, of himself, most of all of the way she lay there without sound or complaint until finally, the worst thing of all, she drew up her knees and cried out softly, achieving a release that his fumbling had failed to give.
‘Liked that, I did,’ she told him afterwards, chuckles wet in her throat.
He had fled from her and spent the rest of the day in a high meadow near the cliff edge, drowning in horror and the golden pollen of buttercups. Finally, the flowers and the grasses talking softly in the wind had restored him. Until he almost believed he had imagined it. Almost.
Several months passed before the dark passions began to crawl once more in his blood, bringing the same need for release, the same subsequent horror.
As he grew older, he took his pleasure, if that was what it was, further and further from home, buying his need for violence from girls resigned to abuse. Until at last, frightened by the ever-growing need that became more and more difficult to control, he had turned to religion, a road that had led eventually to the pit at Gwennap. He believed; he had to believe. The alternative was terror.
He knelt on the rich and fecund earth, head bowed over his clasped hands. ‘I thank thee, God, for having taken the girl away, for releasing me from the temptation of having her here. Let it be a sign and constant reminder of thy goodness and loving care to me and to all men. Lord preserve me from sin.’
And rose, dusting crumbs of soil from his knees. His heart was lifted. Surely, he thought, the Lord has answered my prayers, so that I will sin no more.
*
The sun came out. The breeze blew steadily from the quarter and, with the sail boomed out, they made good time. Cuddy sat beside him and looked at the passing banks as though she had seen nothing like them before. The breeze blew her fair hair across her face. Cash watched her. She was pale and undernourished, her face badly bruised, yet she wouldn’t be unattractive, given a bath, a change of clothes and a week to recover from the beating.
To make conversation, not particularly interested in her answers, he said, ‘How long you been out here?’
‘A year.’
‘Come out alone?’
She nodded. ‘Yair.’
‘What did you do?’
‘Stealin’.’
‘Seven years?’ It was the usual term.
‘Yair.’
‘How did you end up at the tavern in Parramatta?’
‘When I got ’ere, I took up with a corporal, like. Corporal James.’
‘All right was he?’
She shrugged philosophically, familiar with men and their ways. ‘Used to lam me up when he’d ’ad a few. Not bad, ’part from that.’
‘What happened to him?’
‘Died, di’n’ ’e? One o’ them blackfellers got ’im wiv a spear.’
‘And then?’
‘That Thornton, ’e made me an offer.’
‘And you said yes.’
He tried to keep his voice neutral. She glared at him defiantly. ‘Girl’s gotta live, mister. I needs food in my belly, same as you.’
The river was running much faster than when he had come down last time. They were already at the bluffs.
‘And Dan Hawkins beat you.’
Her expression darkened. She explored her damaged eye with a cautious finger. ‘Told him next time I’d stick a knife in his guts.’
‘Why didn’t you?’
She smiled sardonically. ‘Scared o’ the ’ornpipe, I s’pose.’
The Newgate hornpipe: hanging, like flogging, was an ever-present hazard of convict life.
They arrived at the Cove.
‘Stay with me‚’ Cash warned her. ‘The guard will have you otherwise.’
She looked apprehensively at the scarlet coats of the soldiers on the jetty. ‘Don’ worry ’baht me, mister. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.’
Not knowing what else to do with her, he took her to Corps Headquarters and left her outside while he went in to see his father.
A tall sentry in a red coat, pipe-clayed belt and gleaming leggings cast a curious eye at the girl but said nothing. He called a runner who took Cash into the building and up a flight of stairs. They crossed an empty barrack room, loud with the echo of boots, and came to the door of an office at the far end.
The soldier stopped in the entrance, stamping his feet and saluting.
‘Mr Tremain for the Captain. Sir!’
Gough looked up from behind the desk covered with papers and smiled. ‘Come in, my son.’
The runner departed.
‘What brings you here?’ Gough asked. ‘And why weren’t you at Hagwood’s reception?’
Cash told him.
Gough stared. ‘You and Jack took on a dozen drunken convicts because of a girl neither of you care for? The pair of you must be raving, my son, stark raving!’ His face darkened. ‘Threaten to burn the house down, you say? By heavens, I’ve half a mind to
gaol the lot of them for that. You say a man called Dan Hawkins was one of them? Another one called Amos? Twill do for a start.’
‘I gave my word‚’ Cash said.
‘To scum!’
‘I promised them, Dad. Scum or not.’
The two men faced each other across the desk.
‘That bastard Thornton’s behind it. You realise that?’
‘We can’t prove it though. We’ll never be able to touch him.’
‘The biggest knave in the colony and he’s got the ear of the governor! Can you believe it?’ Anger sparkled in Gough’s eyes as he looked at his son. ‘You let them get away with it, you’ll only encourage them, you know. Thornton, too.’
‘He hasn’t got away with it. I have the girl.’
‘So you have‚’ Gough sighed. ‘What are you going to do with her?’
‘I was hoping you could tell me that.’
The dark eyes mocked him. ‘Should have thought of that before.’
Cash’s eyes flared. ‘The girl was being beaten to a pulp by a bully who would probably have killed her if Jack had let him! I’m sorry you think he should have thought out all the consequences before helping her.’
Gough faced him down. ‘And so you should be! I respect you both for helping her, but you still need to think first. Dear life, you’ll never get the better of men like Hagwood if you don’t think before you act. Always, whatever the circumstances, thought then action. Tes the only way! When did she arrive in the colony, anyway?’
‘Last year.’
‘Who was she allocated to?’
‘She mentioned some corporal who was killed. After that, Thornton took her over.’
‘Not legally. Thornton would still have been a convict when she started with him.’
‘He claims she was allocated to him.’
‘Not to a convict. He’s lying.’
Cash said, ‘I knew male convicts were allocated to free men, like the ones who’ll be working for Jack. I didn’t realise it applied to women, too.’
‘Particularly to them. Most get taken up as soon as they get here. The unattached men give them the once-over soon as they come ashore. See anyone they fancy, they make an offer for them.’
‘Can the women say no?’
Gough smiled. ‘Not many do. Tes their chance to get out of gaol, you see? Mind you, they say working outside can be worse than gaol. Depending on the man.’
‘It’s slavery.’
‘That’s how Maud Clark came to be here with me.’ Gough stared quizzically at his son.
Cash was appalled. ‘You took her off the jetty? How could you bring yourself to do such a thing, Dad?’
‘Don’t be so quick to judge other people,’ Gough said, irritated. ‘Conditions here are a lot different from England.’
‘It’s no better than slavery.’
‘You’re talking nonsense. She can leave me any time she wants. That’s not slavery. She’d tell you herself: it was the best thing could have happened to her.’
‘Is that what’ll happen to Gwen?’
Their eyes locked.
‘No‚’ Gough said shortly.
‘You’ve sent her to Norfolk Island, haven’t you?’
‘Why do you think that?’
‘Because a shipment went a month ago and I’ve not set eyes on her since we arrived.’
A pause.
‘Yes‚’ Gough said. ‘She’s on Norfolk.’
‘For God’s sake, Dad! Why?’
‘Because I’d sooner see Gwen Penrose on Norfolk Island than Jack Tremain at the flogging triangle.’
‘It’s not fair!’
‘Life isn’t fair, my son. Another lesson you’ll do well to remember.’ Gough’s smile hardened. ‘I can arrange the same for this Cuddy if you like.’
‘She’s done nothing!’
‘Might be best, all the same. You know what they say – out of sight, out of mind.’
Cash shook his head decisively. ‘I don’t want that.’
‘What do you want?’
‘Can’t she stay with you?’
‘With me?’ Gough laughed. ‘Dear life, Maud Clark will skin me alive if I bring another woman into the house.’
‘I need a place of my own. What say I take one of the cottages? Then Cuddy can stay there until I get back.’
‘Out of the question!’
‘Why?’
‘Those cottages are for officers of the Corps and colonial officials. You’re here as a free settler. Tes up to you to arrange your own accommodation.’
‘But some of the cottages are empty, you told me so, yourself. If I pay rent …’
‘How you going to do that without money?’
‘Advance me something against my share of profits. Come on, Dad! It’ll be easy!’
Gough shook his head. ‘No point paying rent for a place you’re not using. Time for that when you get back.’
‘What do I do with Cuddy in the meantime?’
Gough thought about it. ‘How about this? Let her stay with me while you’re away – I’ll talk to Mrs Clark about that. She can keep an eye on her, see what she’s like. Mind you, if she goes back to her old ways, I’ll pack her back to Parramatta and leave her get on with it. But if she behaves herself, learns how to run a house, you can take her on as your servant when you get back. How does that sound?’
‘It sounds great‚’ Cash said enthusiastically.
‘I mean it, mind,’ his father cautioned. ‘Any of her nonsense, back she goes. My judgment on it.’
Cash hesitated, then nodded. ‘Agreed.’
‘Where is she?’
‘Outside.’
‘Maybe she’s run off then.’ Gough laughed grimly. ‘Solve all our problems, wouldn’t it? I doubt we’ll be that lucky. Take her to the house. Mrs Clark makes a fuss, and she likely will, tell her I’ll have a word with her, come dinner time. One more thing‚’ Gough said, ‘Hagwood will be down here tomorrow. I want you to apologise to him for not being at his reception and say how sorry you were to miss it. Smooth things over; you know the sort of thing.’
‘You want me to tell him what happened?’
Gough shook his head. ‘You do that, he’ll flog every man in Parramatta.’
*
Gough had expected Maud Clark to make a fuss when Cash brought Cuddy into the house and he had been right.
‘You’re tellin’ me the captain knows about this?’ Mouth clamped shut, hands on hips.
Cash thought of saying it was his father’s idea but decided he’d better not. ‘He said he would speak to you at dinner time.’
A sniff. ‘We’ll have to see about that, won’t we?’
Cash turned to the girl. ‘Wait outside a minute.’
Cuddy was staring resentfully at Mrs Clark. ‘She don’ want me ’ere. I won’t stay, then.’
Cash was having no nonsense like that. ‘You’ll do what you’re told. Unless you want to be packed straight back to the tavern.’
Cuddy fell silent: sulky but cowed by his threat.
‘Get outside and wait until I call you.’
He waited until the door shut behind her. ‘You mistake the situation, Mrs Clark,’ he said. He explained how Cuddy had come to be with him.
Mrs Clark was scandalized. ‘A tavern slut? A harlot?’
‘Use her to help you,’ Cash urged her. ‘Let her do the heavy work.’
‘I’m perfectly capable of doing my own work, thank you very much.’
‘I’ll have my own place when I get back,’ Cash said. ‘I’ll need someone to help in the house.’
‘And we know the sort of help she’ll give, don’t we?’
Cash felt his patience ebbing. ‘My father will talk to you later. In the meantime, she needs a bath.’
‘I’m not fetching no water for her!’
There was an outhouse out the back but water had to be fetched from the stream.
‘Nobody’s expecting you to! Organise it how you like, just so long as
it happens.’
FIFTEEN
Every Thursday evening, the Somers held a cards party at their house in Sydney Cove. This week Cash had an invitation to attend. When he arrived, there was already a crowd. It had turned a lot colder in the four days since Jonathan’s reception and tonight it was raining again. Cash took the light topcoat he was wearing and handed it to a manservant as he came in.
Mrs Somers greeted him, her lips working nervously. ‘I’m afraid all tables are full at the moment.’
‘I haven’t come to play, Mrs Somers. I was hoping to see Jane, if she’s available.’
Mrs Somers blinked signals of confusion and embarrassment. Her husband had conveyed to her his views concerning Cash Tremain as a potential suitor for their daughter. Jane’s future, like their own, was in England. Caswell Tremain – he could not bring himself to use the absurd nickname – appeared settled in the colony. This alone made him unsuitable, but there was more. Mr Somers’s attention had been drawn to a number of regrettable rumours about the father. Trading in spirits, and in other goods, when it was common knowledge that the Home Secretary had expressly forbidden the practice. No one took seriously the pretence that the son was running the business – it was a facade, and a thin one at that. Worse still, some of Gough Tremain’s personal habits left a great deal to be desired. There was talk of a servant woman. Now, on top of everything else, the two sons were alleged to have kidnapped a convict girl from Parramatta. Outrageous.
All in all, he had told his wife, he had decided that the less Cash and Jane saw of each other, the better.
‘Jane is not available‚’ said Mrs Somers, smiling breathlessly.
Cash frowned. He had a note from Jane in his pocket but could hardly tell her mother so. ‘I had hoped to say goodbye to her.’
‘Goodbye?’ Her eyebrows twitched.
‘I’m off south in a couple of days.’
She had heard something of it without knowing the details. ‘I will give her your message. Most kind. Most … She will be sorry to have missed you.’
‘Perhaps, if I took a hand of cards, Jane might put in an appearance later?’
‘Unfortunately, most unfortunately, all the tables are occupied. As I mentioned. And others waiting to play. So you see …’ An insincere smile quavered across her face. ‘Perhaps, when you return to the colony …’
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