‘Because, if you do feel for me,’ she continued, ‘I shall speak to my father. On the other hand, if you felt your previous experience was too much, I would not blame you. But then there would be no … urgency, you see. It is not as though there is … anyone else.’
‘There is always Thomas Birkett,’ he said.
‘Never. I would die first.’
He said, ‘Do you think you are the only person who has had nightmares, this last month?’
*
The next day Virginia Carter spoke at length to her father in his study.
He was still angry, his temper spiky with everyone around him, but Virginia was willing to wait no longer.
‘I am busy, Virginia,’ her father said.
‘I wish to ask you something, Father.’
‘And what is that?’
‘I want you to invite Mr Tremain here to dinner.’
His face darkened. ‘I shall never –’
She ignored him. ‘I want you to allow him to court me. And, if things develop as I believe they may, I want you to give your approval when he asks me to marry him.’
He was on his feet. ‘Marriage? To yon pirate’s son?’
‘You were ready enough to see me marry Thomas Birkett.’ She smiled sweetly at him. ‘Or had you forgotten?’
‘I have forgotten nothing,’ he said angrily. ‘But just because we made a mistake once, there’s nae need to go off and make another one immediately afterwards.’
‘Not our mistake, Father. Yours. My mistake was letting you bully me into something that would have ruined my life. You remember what you said? A man looks to his daughter to repay all the care he has bestowed on her. Do you remember saying that?’
‘Everything I did was for you.’
‘No, Father. You did it because you wanted a title in the family and were willing to sacrifice me to get it. Now I am asking something from you.’
‘Marry Caswell Tremain? A fortune hunter like yon?’ He shook his head doggedly. ‘Never, my girl. I’d see ye dead, first.’
‘Thomas Birkett was the fortune hunter. Cash is capable of making his own money. Anyway, that’s what I want you to do. As a favour to me.’
He scowled, shuffling his hands irritably through the papers on his desk. ‘Ye’re wasting your breath, Virginia. I’ve said no, and there’s an end to it!’
So, after all, it had come down to her will against his. She found it easier than she had expected. ‘I hope you will change your mind, Father,’ she said calmly.
‘Absolutely not!’
‘Very well.’
She got up.
‘Where do ye think ye’re going?’
She faced him resolutely. ‘I am going to Mr Tremain’s house, Father.’
‘Ye’ll do no such thing!’
She raised her voice, speaking over him. ‘I shall go there and I shall stay there with him.’
For a moment she thought she had killed him. His face port-red, he fell back in his chair. But Archibald Carter was not killed so easily. ‘Ye dare say such a thing to me?’
She stared at him, this bully who had used her love for him. It was so easy, she could not understand why she had never stood up for herself before. Perhaps I never cared enough before, she thought.
‘I dare a lot more than that, Father,’ she said.
‘Ye’re underage. I’ll have ye brought back. I’ll have ye locked in your room until ye come to your senses. I’ll –’
‘No doubt you can do all of these things, but think what people will say. Think of the scandal. There will be no hope of hushing it up. The colony’s too small for that.’
A stranger’s face, drawn and old, stared at her across the desk. ‘My daughter,’ he said, ‘talking like a harlot.’
‘Talking like someone who loves you.’ She decided on an appeal that would never have succeeded before. Now, with his power over her in tatters, he might listen. ‘All I’m saying is please, please, Father, let me have a chance of happiness in my life. I don’t want to shame you, or myself. I want your happiness as well as my own.’
Outside the window, there was a rumble of wooden wheels as a cart trundled past.
‘Leave me,’ he whispered.
Now, she was anxious. ‘Father –’
He threw up his hand in a gesture of rejection, of despair. ‘Go!’ he said, ‘Just go.’
*
A servant brought the message and waited at the door for Cash to send his reply.
Mr and Mrs Archibald Carter
and their daughter Virginia
request the pleasure of the company of
Mr Caswell Tremain
to dinner at their house on Friday 3 January 1794 at
5 o’clock of the evening.
RSVP
It was strange that victory should arrive so quietly.
*
The ladies had left them and Carter poured them both another glass of port.
‘We’ve had hot words,’ he said, touching the glass to his lips. ‘Nae point denying it. I wished other things for my daughter, Mr Tremain. As ye well know.’
The last thing Cash wanted was to humiliate the man. He said nothing but sipped his port, feeling the tawny glow slide smoothly down his throat.
‘Things did not work out as I’d hoped. I’m not saying ye were right in what ye said, mind,’ Carter added quickly. ‘But what is past is past. Virginia, as ye will nae doot find out for yourself, has a mind of her ain.’
Was he wrong, or did the ghost of a smile flicker over Carter’s thin lips?
‘She seems fair set on you, Mr Tremain. Ye will find there are times when a man has to yield his principles to expediency, if he hopes to enjoy peace in his ain hoose.’
No doubt about the smile now. Cash smiled back.
‘I’m sure you’re right, sir.’
‘Aye. Some while ago, Mr Tremain, ye asked my permission to … court my daughter.’ The merchant’s eyes watched him across the table, the candles kindling points of light in his pupils. ‘Is such still your intention?’
Cash took a deep breath. ‘It is, sir. With your permission.’
‘Or withoot it, nae doot,’ Carter said drily. ‘Very well, Mr Tremain, ye have it, sir. With one proviso.’
‘What is that?’
‘I understand ye may be asking Virginia’s hand in marriage. Is that correct?’
‘Yes.’
‘I want ye to wait three months.’
Cash thought of Virginia, his ache for her. ‘Three months is a long time.’
‘It’s nae time at all!’ Carter snapped. In a quieter voice, he continued, ‘It’s for her benefit more than my ain, ye understand.’
‘She doesn’t want to wait three months, any more than I do!’
‘I’m sure ye’re right. But it would no’ be … seemly for her to rush from one wedding to another. People would think the two things were connected.’
‘In what way? I don’t understand what you’re saying.’
‘Just this, Mr Tremain. The rest o’ the world will see a marriage – a guid marriage, most of them would say – broken off and another one taking its place immediately. I doot we can rely on Mr Birkett to tell people the truth of what happened. People would talk. I dinna want my daughter to go to the altar wi’ half the colony thinking she’s wi’ child!’
Blood rushed to Cash’s face. ‘It hadn’t occurred to me …’
‘Aye. Well, now it has. Virginia is underage, as ye know well, and I’ll no’ permit a wedding in less than three months. Is that acceptable to you?’
Cash surrendered. ‘Of course. Completely acceptable.’
There was a wintry smile on Carter’s face. ‘Then I suggest we join the ladies and give them the news.’
*
‘I am getting married,’ Cash said.
Cuddy picked at a loose thread on the sleeve of her dress. ‘I ’eard.’
‘I shall treasure our friendship all my life.’
‘Yair.’ Board-st
iff in the warm evening.
Light from the setting sun lay in puddles of gold across the settlement. Down the hill, a file of soldiers in red coats marched along the road. The tramp of their boots in the dust came clearly on the light breeze. It was hot and the door to Cash’s house stood open to admit as much air as could penetrate the inner screen of fine cloth that was needed to protect them from flies.
Cash finished his drink and made to get up.
‘Let me,’ Cuddy said quickly.
‘Leave it be. I’ll get it.’
She smiled with reserve and fetched the bottle, refilled his glass.
He remembered how she had protected him against the sharp eyes of Jane Somers and Elinor Goodall when they came unexpectedly on the night of the storm, acting out the role of dutiful servant when both of them, he knew now, had other ideas in mind.
‘I wish you would have a drink with me,’ he said irritably.
‘Per’aps if I did you’d be sorry,’ she told him.
‘Perhaps. But a glass in the evenings, between friends …’
‘Not my place,’ she said.
The file of soldiers had halted, down by the jetty. Yelled commands came faintly up the hill.
‘But we have been friends,’ Cash said. He looked up at her. ‘Haven’t we?’
She said nothing; whatever they had been, she was clearly feeling less than friendly now.
He had known it would be difficult but it was worse than he had imagined.
‘I hope you will stay,’ he said.
‘I don’ see ’ow I can do that.’ Face averted.
He finished his glass, stood. ‘As you wish,’ he said. ‘The offer stands.’
There was a flash of resentment in the pale blue eyes as she stared at him. ‘Your wife might ’ave other ideas ’bout that.’
He felt a need to punish her for his own feelings. ‘You’re right. She may.’
And walked out and down the hill to the jetty.
*
After he had gone, Cuddy stood in the sitting room, looking about her. At the corner where she had put the wild flowers. The cupboard where she had found the tray and glasses, the night Jane Somers and Elinor Goodall had surprised Cash and her together, Cash with his stockings off, both of them with more ideas in their head than sitting by the fire. She had known, too, the bitch. And Cash had grinned and grinned at her, like a kid.
Silently she went through the house. The kitchen where she had made her first fumbling attempts to cook. The cot where she slept. The bush outside the house where she had fled when Thornton’s men had come after her.
The room where she had slept on the floor, hoping that Cash would discover her. The bed, where she and Cash had first made love.
She had stood here, to welcome him when he came back from his sealing trips, her heart lighter at the sight of him, knowing him safe. After Jack’s death, when she had comforted him in the only way she had known.
Back in the sitting room, she looked about her again.
The memories. The dreams. All gone.
THIRTY-SIX
Cuddy was alone in the house when there was a knock at the door.
She opened it. It was Virginia Carter – blonde hair, huge blue eyes.
‘Mr Tremain is from home,’ Cuddy said, hating her.
‘It was you I came to see. Cuddy, is it?’
‘That’s right.’ Hand holding the door. ‘What you want to see me for?’
Virginia smiled. ‘May I come in?’
Cuddy pushed the door open and stood back, ungraciously. ‘Please yourself.’
Another one, she thought. Another Jane Somers.
Virginia stepped inside the room. Unlike Jane Somers, she did not immediately stop and assess everything around her.
She sat down and said, ‘You know Mr Tremain and I are to be married?’
‘He told me, yes.’ She did not know what to do with this visitor who was acting like no lady she had ever met. ‘You want me to get you sumin?’
‘No, thank you. I came – Cash knows I’m here – because I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for him since you’ve been here.’
Cuddy eyed her suspiciously. What was she getting at? ‘I done nuffin for ’im.’
‘Oh yes. You’ve done a very great deal. He told me how considerate you were after his brother died.’
Cuddy stood watching her. Virginia had a delicate complexion, beautifully shaped eyebrows. And the dress … Blue and cream, in silk. A lemon-coloured silk parasol. Money there, all right. Who wouldn’t prefer her, given the choice? Yet she didn’t hate her as much as when she’d arrived.
‘I done nuffin,’ she said again.
‘I understand he was quite … distraught. Now he is reconciled to what happened. I don’t call that nothing.’
Cuddy stood there, not knowing what was wanted of her.
‘It was what he wanted more than anything else,’ Virginia said. ‘What he needed. Someone he could turn to. I wanted to thank you for that.’ She smiled. ‘A man can be lonely when he’s by himself. I think we women tend to forget that.’
There didn’t seem to be anything behind the words. All the same Cuddy said nothing.
Virginia stood in a rustle of silk. ‘I came to thank you for being his friend. And to say you will be welcome to stay with us, if you would like.’
‘You know ’bout me, I s’pose?’ Cuddy said. A dying flicker of defiance.
‘You mean how you came here? Yes, I know.’
‘It was ’im done that.’
Virginia shook her head. ‘No, it was yourself.’
Cuddy stood at the door and watched her go. She must know we’ve been lovers, she thought. Or suspect it. Yet there had been nothing nasty about the way she’d spoken. As if she had wanted to be friends.
Cuddy closed the door and went through to the kitchen. She knew she would not stay, especially if this offer of joining Maud up at Parramatta came off. All the same, it was nice to have been asked. Her mood was lighter than it had been for days.
*
‘How would you fancy moving to Parramatta?’ Gough asked Maud the next morning.
She had some wild flowers she was about to put in a vase on the table. She paused, frowning. ‘To do what?’
‘To live, girl. What else?’
‘What would you do up in Parramatta?’
‘I told you before. Have you forgotten? To run the farm. Someone’s got to do it, now …’ He blinked and shook his head. ‘Now.’
She put the flowers down. ‘You’re never a farmer. You’ve always said you couldn’t abide it.’
‘People change. Cash wants me to go back into the business. Maybe I shall. But I’d like a place out in the country, too.’ He smiled painfully. ‘Getting old, my girl.’
Her heart felt so tender for him. Nevertheless, she had to ask, ‘Would you be able to handle the farm?’
‘Do I know enough, you mean? No, I don’t. But there’s a young convict I met when I was over on Norfolk Island. He was a farmer. Seems he’s done so well growing crops over there they’re thinking of giving him his ticket of leave. If I could get him in as manager I don’t see why we shouldn’t make a go of it. I know this much, I’ve had enough of life in the Corps.’ He came up behind her and put his hands on either side of her waist. ‘Fancy being a farmer’s wife, do you?’
Her body went still. She took his hands in hers and turned to look at him. ‘Don’t mess with me, Gough.’
He smiled. ‘You don’t think I’d go up there without you?’
‘It’s not that. Of course I’d go to Parramatta with you. I’d go anywhere. But that wasn’t what you said. You said –’
‘I know what I said. I said did you fancy being a farmer’s wife. Well, do you?’
She was smiling at him now, her lip trembling. ‘That depends on who’s the farmer.’
‘Well, now,’ he said. ‘There’s this young fellow from Norfolk. Good-looking lad, as I remember.’
‘He’d
be too young for me.’
He shook his head. ‘Can’t think of anyone else.’
The tears were running down her cheeks. ‘Have to stay as I am, then,’ she said.
‘Of course, there’s always me.’
‘You,’ she said. ‘Who’d be interested in an old man like you?’
‘Exactly.’ His face grew solemn. ‘Dear Maud. Would you be willing? To marry me, I mean?’
She thought to say, have you thought about it? Are you sure? What will people say, a captain in the New South Wales Corps wedding a convict? It’s not because of Jack, is it?
She said none of them.
‘Look at you,’ she said, dashing the back of her hand across her eyes. ‘You’ve made me cry.’ She looked up at him, her eyes shining through the tears that continued to fall. ‘I’ll marry you, my dearest love. It’s all I’ve wanted, ever since I’ve known you.’
*
As soon as she could, Maud went to give Cuddy the news.
They hugged each other and cried a little.
‘You’ll be all grand now,’ Cuddy said. ‘Too smart for me.’
‘Such nonsense. Gough’s getting someone from Norfolk Island to help him run the farm. And he’s going to build us a grand new house. Right opposite Hagwood’s place, like I told you. You’ll have to come with us, like I said.’
‘That ’agwood … ’e’s in with Thornton, ain’t ’e?’
‘You don’t need to worry about that,’ Maud said. ‘Thornton will never dare lay hands on you if you work for Gough.’
‘Virginia Carter come to see me,’ Cuddy said. ‘Told me I could stay on ’ere, if I wanted.’
‘You wouldn’t want to do that.’
‘Maybe not.’ She said, ‘There was a boy come over ’ere, the time we built the ’en ’ouse. ’e came from the farm.’
Maud looked at her thoughtfully. ‘What about him?’
‘Dunno. Jus’ thought of ’im, that’s all.’
‘Come with us,’ Maud told her, ‘you’ll see him again, won’t you?’
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