by Rebel Carter
‘BOO! Okay, fine, I’m not gonna nag but I love you and want you to come work with me. I’ll drop it though. What are you doing tonight?’
My belly tightened. Yet, another secret I would have to keep from her. Another lie I would have to tell because I just didn’t think she would get it. Get what I was doing by going to the Cairn. Then again, it was New York, maybe she would get it...My fingers hovered over my phone. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I also wasn’t sure, so I took the conservative approach.
‘Got a book club, then helping my neighbor lady cook dinner.’
That seemed safe. It also seemed like a thing Tiffany wouldn’t ask to come along to.
‘So you’re basically 85?’ She sent back and I knew I’d picked the right activity to keep her from wanting to join.
‘LOL. Yes, I am tonight and I’m loving it.’ I looked up and saw that I was only a few doors down from the club, my feet had brought me here without much input from me, but now I had to go. ‘Gotta run, just got to book club!’
‘You’re such a nerd. Have fun!’
‘Love you too.’
I shoved my phone into my pocket and sucked in a deep breath. The doors of the Cairn were imposing. They looked like they belonged out in some ancient European city, or on the set of a movie where the explorer reaches paradise. They were huge, carved from dark stone that made me think of obsidian or jet. They seemed to suck in the light of the city, absorb it rather than reflect, which always gave them a bit of an edge. A little bit of a dark and scary fairy tale touch that made me think of the Grimm’s brothers stories I’d read as a kid. Copper handles extended out, a patina of grey and green coloring the metal, and I hesitated for a second, fingers reaching but not touching.
Behind me a car passed by honking and a kid shrieked with laughter across the street. I could hear two women talking, their heels clicking on the pavement as they walked past me. All of it was mundane, so perfectly normal and at odds with the doors in front of me. The ones that looked like they’d been plucked from a dark fairy tale, but in this story the prince didn’t save the princess or slay her dragons. She did it.
My fingertips touched the handle and then I was gripping it and pulling the door open. I did not have a prince charming, and I probably never would, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t and wouldn’t save myself. I slipped inside the club and closed the door firmly behind me, shutting out the normal world. The world where my power was fleeting and passing. I traded that world for the Cairn. And here, in this place, I had all the power—and that included saving myself.
“Hello, Honey,” Connie greeted me from the desk she sat at. It was a polished black hunk of obsidian that gleamed in the gold-hued lights of the anteroom. The color of it was a perfect match to the dark hardwood floors of the club and the desk gave the appearance that it had seemingly sprung up from the floor. The lines of the desk were sharp and jagged but they added a touch of feral to the room that reminded me precisely what it was that I was surrendering myself to when I crossed the Cairn’s threshold. The room was beautiful, at complete odds with the apartment I lived my life in. Where my home was sparsely decorated the Cairn was sumptuous in its furnishings. The walls were covered in wallpaper colored a shade of red so dark it was nearly black, gold gilt was brushed across some parts of it as if a painter had taken it to mind to brighten it up but then gotten distracted. The effect was beautiful and chaotic. Heavy crimson curtains ran floor to ceiling along the windows I knew to be black out. The effect created an inviting space that made you want to linger and appreciate the art on the walls, or the elegant furniture, a chaise lounge and a few leather backed chairs arranged around a fireplace with an obsidian mantle at the opposite wall.
Above us a sparkling chandelier glittered, casting a golden light on everything, but mostly the black as night desk that seemed to absorb the golden light right into it as if it were a living breathing thing, and not a piece of furniture.
And then there was Connie. The woman I thought was Zeus.
She was sitting behind the desk with her hands pressed flat to the surface with a smile on her face. It wasn’t a big inviting one, but it was a smile. One that softened her angular face enough that I knew I was welcome. I’d seen her cruel smile before. That one was a step above a snarl, features pulling into a mask of intense focus and bared teeth that left no meaning to just how very unwelcome the recipient was.
I hoped she’d used that sharp as knives smile on Christian.
“Connie, hi,” I greeted her back with a wave. I walked forward, my sneakers hardly making a sound on the hardwood floor. “How have you been?” I asked.
She inclined her head and tapped the mouse beside her, the screen in front of her springing to life. “I’ve been well. It’s been a few months since I’ve seen you. I hope everything is good for you.”
We met eyes. I could see the unasked question there. Has Christian been bothering you?
I gave a slight shake of my head and then said, “It has been. A lot of work, but it’s all been good. I’m happy to make some time for a visit though.” I put my bag by my feet and stood awkwardly in front of Connie’s intimidating as hell desk. I never knew what the fuck to do with my hands when I was standing here.
“Are you staying the night?” She asked, eyes sliding from me to the screen.
“Yes, if there’s a room available.”
“There is. Shall I book it?”
“Please. That’s wonderful news.” The weight I’d been carrying with me slipped off so suddenly and subtly that I almost pitched forward from its absence. My shoulders had been hunched since Law had left, the memory of him leaving pulling at me until every step I took felt as if I carried a thousand pounds on my back. Today had not been easy, even if I’d pretended it was.
“Wonderful.” She smiled even as her eyes were still on the screen and she gave it a few clicks. “I’ve added it to your account, but before I do that I need to tell you one very important thing, Honey.”
“What is it?” I asked on high alert.
She looked at me. “Christian is here tonight.”
I sucked in a breath and took a step back, the weight that I’d shed suddenly all around me and in danger of suffocating me. I shook my head and snatched up my bag. “I don’t-he’s here? Now?” I asked, looking around me.
She nodded and looked remorseful. “He made his booking a month ago. I hadn’t seen you through, so I assumed accepting the reservation would do no harm.” Connie paused and leaned forward, one hand extended towards me though it lay flat on the desk. “I can see that I was wrong by the look on your face.”
I tried to force my face into something that resembled calm even as my heart was racing. “No, I’m fine,” I said automatically.
Connie arched an eyebrow at me. “You don’t seem fine. I can deny his reservation, Honey. It’s no trouble at all if it would put you at ease. Although, if he has held up his end of the probationary period, I would have to reach for a reason to send him away. So I will ask you once again, has Christian paid you unwanted visits or reached out to you? If he has, that would be a direct violation of the rules laid out by Zeus.”
I wanted to lie. I wanted to say the bastard had, but I knew better than to lie to Connie. To Zeus. She—they—would find out the truth and then I would find myself on her bad side. I never wanted to end up there.
“No,” I said quietly. “He’s left me alone.”
Connie fell silent as if considering her next move and she glanced back at the screen briefly before her eyes were trained on me once more. “I can still come up with something if him being here makes you uncomfortable.”
I licked my lips and thought. Did it matter if he was here? He had left me alone since she’d spoken to him. Did I want to ride the train all the way back to Queens and then what? Spend the night and the next day moping that I had missed my chance at relaxing in the Cairn?
“Nothing will happen to me here though...right?” I hedged as I weighed my optio
ns. I couldn’t run from Christian and get the rest and respite I needed. I’d been working so much lately, focused on what, I didn’t know. It wasn’t setting up a life, not really. I had one, but I did my best to stay loose and as untethered as I could. That wasn’t normal. It couldn’t be normal.
Somehow it had gotten worse lately. The evening with Law had just been the tipping point that had left me feeling low. I was grateful I had an evening planned here, and had done it before my night with Law. If I hadn’t had it to look forward to I would still be crying my eyes out in my empty apartment.
I needed this place. I needed to hold onto my power for as long as I fucking could, anywhere I could find it. I wasn’t going to be leaving, which meant I was going to need to know what I was walking into if I was sharing the halls of the Cairn with Christian O’Hanon.
She gave a slight tip of her head. “Nothing at all. You will be watched 24/7. Christian will be escorted off the premises if he steps out of line.”
“What would constitute stepping out of line?” I asked.
She was silent for a beat before she answered me. “He is not to touch you. If he speaks to you and you do not consent to the communication, one of our team will end it immediately. Your boundaries will be enforced.”
“And if they aren’t?” I whispered, my voice small in the big room. At my back the fireplace crackled and I knew it was magical looking without even turning my head to see. The flames would be lively and warm, dancing against the black onyx of the mantle, so at odds with the cold feeling in my chest as I negotiated my stay with Christian’s presence.
“Then he will be permanently banned from the establishment. I will also, of course, ensure that you are taken home in one of our private cars following your visit.”
“If he steps out of line?” I asked, confused at her offer. It would make sense that I not have to head back out into the world with Christian now angry and on the loose.
“No,” she said, giving me a kind smile, “I expected that seeing him would be intense for you. I know things can be overwhelming already given the nature of our club. You will be seen home even if he minds his manners and behaves himself.”
Her offer was surprising, but I was glad for it.
“Thank you.”
“Of course, your comfort is our concern.” She stood from her seat and then gestured for me to follow her. “I’ll show you to your room then, if you are ready?”
“I am.”
Connie said nothing else just started walking, her steps were smooth and sure. She could have been fucking gliding like one of those movie vampires in comparison to how I was stumbling after her. I felt unsure on my feet, even in my sneakers. She glanced at me when I stumbled around a corner and pursed her lips.
“You have no reason to worry.”
“I know. I’m not,” I lied, hitching my leather bag higher on my shoulder. The smooth leather beneath my hands was reassuring. I focused on stroking a hand along the side of it and said again, “I’m not.”
Connie gave a soft sigh of annoyance but she kept walking, pulling out a set of golden keys from her pocket. “Zeus has noticed you, Honey. You will be well taken care of during your visit.”
That time I didn’t just stumble, I nearly face planted. “I-what? He what?” Zeus didn’t just notice anyone. I was barely convinced he was real.
She smirked, eyes still forward so that I could barely make out the expression by the upturn of her cheek. “You sound surprised.” She was enjoying this, I could tell by the laughter I heard in her voice. That was...surprising. Connie was all business, but laughter?
What the hell was going on?”
“Well, yeah. It’s Zeus,” I said, as if she didn’t know. As if the woman wasn’t him when I swear she had to be.
“He’s not that great,” she muttered, stopping at a door and turning to face me. “But at times he can be useful in his interest, and you, Honey have caught his interest.” She handed me a golden key. “This is on the house.”
My mouth dropped open. The room we were standing in front of was not the normal one I was used to, which was a simple affair. Clean and simple, but still as elegant as the rest of the club with it’s furnishings, even if it was small. Normally the room I took was just a bed and an ensuite bathroom.
Nothing more. Those doors were black wood, the same as all the other short term stays.
This door was golden to match the key she held out to me.
I’d heard about the rooms with the golden doors. Christian had told me about them, but we had never stayed in one. They were for VIPs, those Zeus favored. And try as he might Christian could never seem to break into their good graces. It had irked him to no end. A giggle bubbled up in me as I took the key from Connie.
Christian would shit bricks if he knew I was here and where I was staying. Good.
“Thank you,” I said, because you didn’t say no to a gift from Zeus. You took it for yourself with both hands and didn’t bother to worry about the price. Whatever the cost it would be worth it for the brief moment in time that the world was yours. Zeus could give you the world within these walls and after the tumultuous night I’d had, the feeling of being adrift in my own life, just all of it…
I would take the world for my own, even if it cost me everything.
Connie winked. “Of course, Honey. As always it’s a pleasure to see you,” she started forward but paused beside me and turned her head to look at me in profile. She was so close I could feel the ghost of her breath on my neck and I shivered, suddenly aware of how close Connie was to me. Her shoulder was nearly brushing mine and if I reached out my pinky I would be touching her hand.
I stayed still, not daring to breathe.
“You will be safe. I promise you. Nothing will happen that you do not want.” Her voice had dropped an octave, it was huskier now and I shivered under her unwavering attention. The woman was intense, but I liked that so I met her gaze as best I could while I waited for her to continue. “That you,” she paused again and I could hear the pounding of my heart with each passing second. Connie moved, leaning closer to me, so that she was whispering in my ear, “do not ask for.” I sucked in a breath, eyes closing at her last words. “Do you understand?” she asked.
“Yes,” I whispered, eyes still closed, my fingers clutching the golden key so tightly I knew my palm would be sore and bruised when I let it go. Connie chuckled, the sound of it making me squirm. She had a good chuckle, the tone of it low and husky, practically reverberating through my body from my head to my toes. I heard her let out a soft sigh and for a second I thought she might touch me, but reason told me she wouldn’t. The rules of the Cairn were strict. There was no touching unless it was agreed upon. This was a safe place, and Connie was at the helm of it. She would not touch me unless I asked her.
My insides warmed and shifted, arousal sliding over and through me like honey, coating it all in a sticky sweetness that nearly had me opening my mouth and asking her to touch me.
She could be Zeus. She’s probably Zeus. My brain screamed at me, and I bit back the words.
As comfortable as I was in the Cairn and the lifestyle I would not and could not fuck around with someone as powerful as Zeus. I had survived Christian, but Zeus? If that went wrong, there would be no coming back from that for me. I needed to keep my mouth shut. But with the way she was standing, so close, the heat from her body radiating out and warm on the back of my hand that was nearly touching hers, the smell of her—a scent that was a mix of jasmine and sandalwood, floral, sensual and rich, and the sound of her voice...it was hard to remember that I needed to watch myself around Connie. The woman knew her way around a submissive, she was experienced and deft in the lifestyle. I knew that if I did spend time with her, ask her to touch me, that she would make it a weekend to remember.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to put the limits of my self-discipline to the test. Connie ended it by moving away. I opened my eyes to see her grinning at me, eyes openly moving over my face and t
hen down my body before she gave me a wink.
“Good girl.” She turned and set off down the hallway with the same ethereal grace that made me feel awkward and tripping over my own feet to catch up. “Have fun tonight!” She called over her shoulder, wiggling her fingers in a goodbye.
I nodded but said nothing, eyes glued to her figure until she was out of sight and around the corner. When I was sure she was gone, I sagged against the golden door. “Holy fuck,” I whispered, forehead against the cool surface of the door. “Holy shit.”
I let myself into the suite as soon as I had recovered enough strength in my legs to stand. I shut the door with more force than necessary and winced at the loud slam. “Fuck.” I was off to a great start in my fancy VIP room, all right. I turned to survey the room and once again felt my knees go weak. I was used to rooms that were functional, meant for a stay and a night of play, but this?
This was luxury.
“It’s beautiful,” I said to no one, but it had to be fucking said. The room was open concept with the same dark flooring of the anteroom. A fireplace was here as well, a dark mahogany mantled thing that made me think of the historical museums I’d been in as a kid when on a road trip with my mom. We used to duck into the old houses and pay the couple of bucks to wander around while we waited for whatever club she was moonlighting in to open its doors to performers. In front of the fireplace was a green velvet settee with leather straps I could see folded across the length of it.
Across from the fireplace was a huge four poster bed made of dark wood. The posts of the bed were beautiful, less for function than for aesthetic, and I walked towards the bed to get a better look at them. The posts of the bed were works of art, like wood made lace, airy and light but undeniably strong. I could see the metal fasteners at the base of the posts made for straps or whatever rope its occupant might care to employ.