by Wendi Wilson
“Yes. I saw him last night.”
“You did? Where?”
“In my backyard.”
“What?!?”
“Yep. I looked out the window and there he was, right at the edge of the woods.” She left out the part about the near panic attack she had, thinking it was the man who attacked her.
“What did you do?”
“What any other mentally stable person would do.”
“You went out there, didn’t you? God, Mel, that thing could be dangerous. I know he saved you, but he did so by viciously attacking a person.”
“I know. I know. Ah hell, Tara, I can’t explain it. He makes me feel safe. I went out and coaxed him into the yard. I pet him and he rubbed against my leg like a normal house pet. I checked for a collar, but there wasn’t one. Then mom called out to me from the back door and he took off.”
She decided not to tell Tara about seeing him again in the middle of the night. That would require explaining the nightmare and Tara was already worried enough. Melanie especially didn’t want to tell Tara about her list of possible names for him.
They pulled into the parking lot and found a spot near the back of the lot. Melanie leaned down to grab her backpack off the floorboard, then squealed in panic as her door was yanked open from the outside. Her eyes flew wide with terror until they recognized a familiar handsome face.
“Oh, Mel, I’m so sorry.”
The grin on Jeremy’s face fell and he looked instantly contrite. He slapped his forehead with his palm and muttered something that sounded like “stupid, stupid idiot.” He looked back at her and apologized again.
“I just wanted to open your door for you, like a gentleman, and instead I almost gave you a heart attack. I wasn’t thinking. After everything that…happened…I should’ve known better. I’m sorry.”
“Jeremy, stop!” Melanie replied when she got her breath back. “You startled me, is all. I would have reacted the same way even if everything that happened hadn’t happened. Please stop apologizing. I’m fine.”
She got out of the car and punched him playfully on the shoulder. “A gentleman, huh? Maybe you should carry my books for me.” She threw her backpack into his chest and started walking away.
I can do this, she thought. I can be his friend, and not think about…other things. She heard footsteps running up behind her and felt hands grab her sides and squeeze.
“Don’t do that!” she yelled.
“I’m sorry. I was just playing with you.” Jeremy’s face fell again.
She put her hand on his arm. “I know. I’m just…really ticklish and I don’t like it. Sorry I yelled.” She wouldn’t look him in the eye, because he would know she was lying.
Melanie dropped her arm and they walked silently through the front doors of the school. She was so embarrassed. She was ticklish, but that’s not why she yelled. It was a knee-jerk reaction because she knew he would feel the pudginess around her middle. She knew if he felt it, he would be disgusted. She tried to change the subject.
“So, I saw that dog last night,” she stated when they got to her locker and he handed her backpack back to her.
“You did?” he asked. “Where?”
“In my backyard.”
“Huh.”
“Really, that’s all you got is ‘huh’? I was under the impression you thought I made him up in my head and that he wasn’t real.”
“That’s not true. I said that I didn’t see him, not that you didn’t see him. I always believe you.”
Now she felt really crappy about the “ticklish” lie. “Listen Jeremy, I really am sorry I yelled at you. I didn’t mean it.”
He smiled and flipped his head back to get the hair out of his face. “It’s ok,” he replied. Then gave her a hug and walked her to first period.
At lunch, Jeremy sat with Mel, Tara and Chris again. Mel silently scolded herself for being so nervous. Friends are not nervous around friends.
“How’s that salad, Mel?” Jeremy asked her. She’d been stirring it with her fork for at least five minutes without taking a bite.
She took a huge bite and replied with her mouth full, “Ish reawy goot.”
Oh, God. Did I really just talk with my mouth full? Did I spit salad on him? Oh my God, kill me now.
Melanie plopped her forehead down on the table. The word “embarrassing” didn’t even begin to cover what she was feeling. She kept her head down and swallowed what was in her mouth. She felt a kick on her foot from across the table, and kicked Tara back without even looking up. Maybe she could just stay here until school was over. Or run out now and go straight home and die there.
She was still contemplating her choices when she felt a big, warm hand on her knee. She sat up quickly, eyes trained on that hand, with a loud intake of breath.
“Sorry,” Jeremy sad quietly as he pulled his hand away. “I didn’t mean to…just, sorry.” He focused back on his lunch and picked up what was left of his pizza slice.
Melanie stared at her knee for a few more seconds, then looked up across the table at Tara incredulously. Tara had a smug look on her face that said “I told you so.” Melanie looked back at her knee again, then sneaked a peek at Jeremy from the corner of her eye. He looked all red, like he was blushing, and he was staring holes into his pizza. She noticed that his lips were moving, just barely, like he was swearing to, or at, himself.
What is going on? Melanie thought to herself. It’s like I’m in some parallel universe and I have no idea what’s going to happen next.
She really, really wanted to believe that what it looked like was happening was actually happening. It looked like Jeremy was blushing because he showed her affection and thought she rejected him.
As if! But that couldn’t really be what was going on. Could it? Her thoughts were all jumbled.
She looked back up at Tara helplessly and gave a slight shrug. Tara narrowed her eyes and nodded in Jeremy’s direction. Melanie gave a slight, almost imperceptible shake of her head, but Tara got it. She narrowed her eyes even more and nodded a little harder at him. Melanie took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. Tara was never going to shut up about this, and it was driving Melanie crazy, so she might as well put an end to her torment and just talk to him.
“Hey,” she said quietly as she nudged his knee with hers. “Can we talk alone? Like, now?”
He took a deep breath and dragged his eyes off his pizza crust for the first time since he apologized about the knee thing. She saw dread in his eyes. It wasn’t encouraging.
“Sure,” he replied just as quietly. “Out in the courtyard?”
She looked out the windows into the courtyard. There were way too many students out there, including Sissy Woods.
“No, too crowded,” she said. “Library?”
He nodded and stood. He took both their plates to the trash bins and dumped them. He held the cafeteria door open for her and followed her into the main hallway toward the library. She could feel him behind her and was starting to freak out.
What am I doing? What am I doing?!
She walked into the library and led the way to the back, behind the stacks. There was a seating area with couches and chairs where students could read and study comfortably. Melanie sat down on a love seat and Jeremy sat down right next to her, even though there were several other options for him to choose from. The thoughts flew out of Melanie’s head for a minute and she just stared dumbly at the empty chair on her other side.
Why didn’t he sit there? she thought. If he didn’t like her as more than a friend, than why sit so close? Why touch her knee? Why kiss her forehead?
No, she chastised herself. He is only concerned about what happened to me because he feels responsible. He brought Sissy to that party, I left because of her and got attacked. That’s it. Stop it with the wishful thinking. Get it together, Mel.
“Mel?”
“Huh? What?”
“You were off in la-la land for a minute. You ok?”
“Yeah, sorry. I got
sidetracked. I just wanted to talk to you ab…”
“Mel, I’m sorry,” he interrupted. “I shouldn’t expect anything out of you right now. You just had a horrible thing happen to you, and here I am, pushing myself on you. I can’t expect you to want to be with me or anyone right now. I’m sorry. I just really like you and I thought… I don’t know what I thought, really,” he said all in a rush.
“Wait. Wait. What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, not that part.”
“Something horrible just happened?”
“Nope, not that either.”
The corner of his lips curved up just a bit. “I really like you?”
“Bingo. What exactly does that mean?”
“What do you mean ‘What does that mean?’”
“Well, I know you like me. We’ve been friends a long time. You’re always there for me, and I try to be there for you. Is that what you meant?”
He looked down at his lap, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It came back out in a whoosh.
“No, that’s not what I meant. Even though that’s all true, that is most definitely not what I meant.”
He opened his eyes and looked back up at her. Her heart was beating so fast, she thought it might pound right out of her chest. Her hands started to shake as he pushed himself up slightly and scooted closer to her.
“It’s not?” she asked shakily.
“No, it’s not,” he said, leaning even closer and staring right into her eyes. He was definitely invading her personal space enough now that it could no longer be defined as “friendly.”
“Wha…” She cleared her throat lightly. “What did you mean, then?” She was whispering by this point. He was leaning in so close that their noses were almost touching.
“What I meant,” he whispered back, “is that I like you so much that I want to do this.”
He tilted his head and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed and she stopped breathing.
“And this.” This time the kiss landed on her chin. Her breath came back all ragged, but her eyes stayed closed.
“And this.” She felt his hands cup her face and his lips touch hers, ever so lightly.
Melanie felt him pull back, but his hands stayed on her cheeks. She blinked her eyes open and realized he had only pulled back a couple of inches. He was even more beautiful this close up.
“Did that answer your question?”
He was still whispering. She gave a slight nod. He started to lean in again and the bell signaling the end of lunch rang. Jeremy sighed quietly and rested his forehead against hers with his eyes closed.
“I’m sorry. I told you I wasn’t going to push myself on you and here I am, doing just that.” He pulled away again and dropped his hands.
“Jeremy.”
“Yeah?”
“You like me.”
“Yeah.”
“You kissed me.”
“Yeah.”
“You liked kissing me?”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
She smiled back. “Me too. I mean, I liked it too.”
His smile grew bigger and he started to lean again when suddenly there was someone next to them clearing her throat. “Excuse me, Ms. Johnson. Mr. Stevens.”
They parted quickly and Melanie felt like she jumped three feet into the air. Mrs. Fisher, the librarian, was a rotund lady with salt and pepper hair and sharp blue eyes.
“Hi Mrs. Fisher,” she said shakily.
“You two get to class now. The late bell is going to ring in one minute.” With that, she turned and shuffled away, not saying a word about what she witnessed.
Melanie and Jeremy both started laughing and he stood up. Melanie’s laughter died when he looked at her earnestly and held out his hand. She slowly stretched her arm out and placed her hand in his. He twined his fingers through hers, pulled her off the love seat and close to his side, and reached down to grab both of their backpacks.
“See,” he said, swinging her backpack over his right shoulder, “I am a gentleman.”
Melanie, who was still staring at their entwined fingers, looked up at his face and smiled. “Yes, you are.”
Chapter 9
“Okay, spill. Now. Tell me everything. Don’t leave anything out. Not a single detail. Why aren’t you talking yet?”
Melanie rolled her eyes at Tara and replied, “Maybe because I can’t get a word in edgewise?”
“Don’t get smart with me, young lady! Talk. Now.”
Melanie grinned and asked innocently, “What do you want to know?”
They were sitting in Tara’s car, which was parked in Melanie’s driveway. Melanie had been refusing to answer Tara’s needling questions all the way home from school. Tara growled and pushed at Melanie’s leg.
“I swear I’m gonna go crazy if you don’t tell me what happened between you and Jeremy, like, right this instant. Seriously. Tell me now.”
Melanie laughed and gave in. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you everything.”
When she finished, they both sat in stunned silence. Melanie still couldn’t believe all of it had actually happened. What if she misinterpreted it? What if he was just being really friendly because he felt sorry for her?
“Stop it. Just stop it right now.”
“Huh?” Melanie looked back up at Tara in confusion.
“I can see the wheels turning in your head, Mel. You cannot explain this away to yourself as a friendly gesture. Buddies do not kiss, not on the mouth anyway. Friends do not say things like ‘I really like you’ and ‘I want to be with you.’ So just stop trying to rationalize it. Just believe it and be happy. Jeremy likes you and wants to be your boyfriend. Accept it.”
“Wait. He never said the word ‘boyfriend.’ I can’t just jump to conclusions and… Oh My God!”
“What? What is it?”
“Look behind us.”
Tara turned around and a huge smile lit up her face. “Told you. Get out of my car. I am out of here, but you better call me as soon as he leaves. As in, immediately after he leaves.”
“Ok sir, yes sir,” Mel joked.
She got out of the car as Jeremy made it to the top of her driveway. Tara waved and backed out after they stepped to the side, and sped off, gunning her engine.
“Did you walk here?” Melanie asked. It was at least three miles from her house to school.
“I ran.”
“You don’t even look winded. Your body must be in really good shape. I mean, er, as in physical fitness. Oh, God, I’m shutting up now.”
Jeremy smiled and pulled her in for a quick hug. “Is your mom home?”
“No, she works until six every night.”
“Can I come in?”
“Umm, sure? I mean, yes. Definitely yes.”
She unlocked the door and led him inside. She was freaking out, wondering what she’d do if he asked to see her bedroom. She’d never had a kiss, like a real kiss, much less had a boy in her bedroom. But Jeremy went straight into the living room and sat down on the couch.
Melanie dropped her backpack on the floor and closed the front door.
“Do you want something to drink? Maybe some food? I could make you a sandwich. You want a soda?”
Oh, God I’m rambling again.
He gave her a small smile and shook his head. “No, thanks. Come sit with me. I think we need to finish our conversation from earlier.”
Oh no. He’s gonna take it all back. I knew it. I was right. He couldn’t possibly like me like that, no matter what Tara says. All this went through her head and she didn’t move a muscle.
“Mel? You ok? You don’t want to sit next to me?”
He looked disappointed and Melanie never wanted to see that look on his face again. She ran over and threw herself onto the couch next to him. He turned to face her with a serious look on his face.
“Listen, Mel…”
“It’s okay, Jeremy. I get it. If you just want to be friends, that’s fine…”
“Wait. What? What are you talking about?”
“Well, uh, you looked all serious like I wasn’t going to like what you had to say and I just assum-”
“Don’t assume anything with me, Mel,” he interrupted. “You can talk to me about anything. Ask me anything. Ask me for anything. You don’t have to be shy or embarrassed around me. I like everything about you, and I was most definitely not going to take back what I said earlier today.”
Melanie was speechless. She stared at him in wide-eyed wonder as he stared back earnestly. This was not how she expected this conversation to go.
“What I wanted to say was this,” he continued after a moment. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Melanie almost fainted. Dropping her head, she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. There was no way she could explain this away in her mind. No more denials, no more rationalizations. Jeremy wanted her. Like, for real.
“Oh, God, you’re killing me, Mel. Can you please answer me?”
She looked back up at him quickly with a smile on her face. “Yes,” she answered. “Definitely, yes. Yes, yes, yes.”
He smiled the brightest smile she’d ever seen on him and reached over and pulled her close. He leaned his face in close to her and she smelled his scent: like boy and pine trees and something spicy. He smiled that special smile again and closed the distance to touch his lips to hers. Her eyelids slammed down as his lips lingered. He tilted his head to get a better angle and his tongue darted out to meet the seam of her lips.
Her mouth opened in shock, and he took that opportunity to taste the inside of it, rubbing his tongue lightly against hers. She was so surprised, she nearly clamped her teeth down. She stopped herself just in time, but Jeremy must have sensed something was wrong because he ended the kiss and pulled back.
“Are you ok? I mean, with this? Do you like it? Because we can stop, if you want. Just say when.”
Oh my God, she thought, I’m seriously gonna die now. I have to tell him, or he’s going to think I don’t like kissing him. God, I am such a loser, she thought, her gaze dropping to her hands.
“Mel?”
She looked back up at his face. She stared at his beautiful lips for a second and then met his eyes. Then she blurted it out.