The six of them were in the Cape Room, which was the goofy name given by the Super Draft handlers to what in theater would be called the Green Room. The room was barely large enough for their egos.
“I’m jealous you’re getting all the press,” said Danny Chase who was sprawled out on the couch next to him with her legs over his lap.
“There is no such thing as bad press,” replied Cosmic Kid.
“Yes, there is,” said Plastique who was sitting nearby. Her skin had a whitish-gray plastic look and her hair seemed fake, but it was her natural appearance. Cosmic Kid realized her situation was probably worse than his as her father, Captain Pliable, had been caught last week reaching into neighboring stalls in a men’s restroom. Either he was reaching over for toilet paper or he was propositioning people. No doubt about it – that was bad press.
“No one really cares about all that stuff, both of you need to focus on the positive,” said Danny.
Plastique gave a bemused look. “Which is?”
“I’m getting drafted by West Pacific, of course!” said Danny cheerfully.
“You’re horrible,” said Cosmic Kid, hitting her with a pillow from the couch. Plastique stretched across and grabbed another pillow from a nearby chair and also tossed it at Danny.
From across the room, Paradigm Shift called out, “I think for stonings you’re supposed to use rocks or something.” Wonder Boy who was sitting next to him laughed; Epiphany, sitting away from both groups, just seemed to be ignoring everyone.
“At least I don’t have to worry about you, Shifty,” said Danny. “I hear that Elle has all your stones.” At this Wonder Boy laughed even louder.
“I have God on my side, unlike Kid,” said Paradigm Shift.
“Please, when was the last time you went to church?” retorted Danny. “Everyone here is a heathen except for me… and maybe Epiphany.”
“Don’t drag me into your juvenile attempts at one-upmanship,” said Epiphany, picking up a Superlative magazine to read. Paradigm Shift shrugged and turned back to checking his HoloBerry. Wonder Boy headed to the bathroom for the hundredth time.
“We need to party tonight!” said Danny. “I could invite Seawolf; we could do one of our wild Pictionary parties!” Plastique rolled her eyes, literally.
“Your perkiness is starting to grate.” Cosmic Kid tried to suppress a smile.
“It’s my super power,” said Danny. “I’m also invulnerable to negativity and depressing attitudes.”
“I hear Lifeguard Princess 2 is going straight to DVD,” said Cosmic Kid.
“The pain!” yelled Danny in mock misery. Then she kicked Cosmic Kid in the side. “Yes, my sequel is going straight to DVD, but that’s okay, because I’m no longer an Orlando Sparkle actor, but… wait for it… I’m a West Pacific Super!”
Cosmic Kid was happy to see Danny in a good mood. She definitely had her problems, especially with her dysfunctional family, but Danny always tried to stay upbeat. However, right now she was genuinely happy. He adored Danny. He couldn’t help it. It wasn’t fair that she was a lesbian, but he kept telling himself that there was no use pining away after Danny hoping that she would one day decide to be bisexual. He suddenly remembered that Epiphany was in the room and psychic; he looked towards her wondering if she was reading his mind about his thoughts on Danny. She glanced up from her magazine and met his eyes with a bored look. He gave a weak smile, but she shook her head and went back to her magazine.
“Hey, Patrick, I’m talking to you,” said Danny, kicking him again and he turned his attention back to her. “So how did it go with Meteor Girl?”
“Big crater – me in the middle.”
“You really shouldn’t date supers – we’re all messed up,” said Plastique thoughtfully.
“Speak for yourself, I don’t have super powers and am just a normal skinny girl from Mississippi,” said Danny Chase. “Oh, and who is being drafted by West Pacific Supers, did I mention that?”
As Plastique and Cosmic Kid prepared to assault her with pillows again, one of the Super Draft handlers came in. He was a middle-aged man who looked full of himself, which was probably a necessity to deal with super teens.
“The two teams are as follows,” he said. “Team One will be Cosmic Kid, Paradigm Shift, and Plastique. Team Two will be Epiphany, Neo-Mermaid, and Wonder Boy. You may head out to the arena floor and you have 20 minutes to plan and prepare.”
“Okay, I have to admit you guys’ lives suck, because we’re going to crush you,” said Danny with a big smile as she headed over to join Wonder Boy and Epiphany. Cosmic Kid just shook his head and muttered, “Maybe God does hate me.”
The six supers headed towards the arena floor. Danny had quickly left the Cape Room to suit up in the NMX. It was a hefty piece of blue and green colored machinery shaped like an eight-foot-tall fish-man, but bristling with technology from missiles, lasers, and its underwater propulsion system. Cosmic Kid had seen Danny in action lots of times, actually, mostly at shows in Orlando and now that he thought about it, he had never seen her in actual heroics except for clips she sent him online. She was good in water and a potent brawler, but Super Draft team challenges were more nuanced and she would be at a disadvantage. Which was good, as he was disadvantaged having to work with Paradigm Shift.
“Alright, they said this was a ring challenge, so we just need to secure as many of the 66 rings hidden in the area as quickly as possible,” said Cosmic Kid. “So Paradigm, what’s your powerset for the month?”
“I’ve got some real surprises in store for everyone,” said Paradigm Shift.
“Great, but we need to coordinate,” said Cosmic Kid. He knew that Paradigm Shift’s powers changed every month, but he wasn’t sure what he could do right now.
“No we don’t,” said Paradigm Shift. “We all just do our best and we should trounce the other side – the only trouble we might have is Wonder Boy.”
“Epiphany is a psychic,” said Plastique. “Psychics are always trouble.”
“Yeah, and Neo-Mermaid is good as well,” said Cosmic Kid.
“Please, Danny Chase is a non-mutant with a big toy,” said Paradigm Shift. “Power armor pilots are a joke and I’ll take care of Epiphany.”
“This is only a light-touch exercise,” warned Cosmic Kid.
“Right,” said Paradigm Shift. “The audience wants a show so let’s give them a show.”
“Then let’s coordinate,” said Cosmic Kid. “If we work as a team, it’s a win-win.”
“Unless I’m in charge, I’m not coordinating,” said Paradigm Shift.
“Forget it then, Shifty,” said Cosmic Kid.
“Typical, Kid, it’s either your way or nothing,” said Paradigm Shift. “This is why Elle broke up with you – you’re always on an ego trip.”
“You have got to be kidding me! You’re a–”
“Shut up!” snapped Plastique. “I need to do well in this event – unlike you two, I don’t have a team writing up a contract. So I’m in charge! Paradigm, what the fuck are your god damn powers?”
“Ah… okay, okay, Plastique, I have a sonic attack and am nearly invulnerable this month, which is why I haven’t been able to shave.”
“Good thing you haven’t hit puberty yet or that would have been a real problem,” said Cosmic Kid.
“Why didn’t they do girls versus boys?” muttered Plastique.
A few hours later and everything had changed. Cosmic Kid’s team had lost the event but he had won the clip war. It had been rough, no doubt about it, but he gave the media what they wanted: theatrics. The ring challenge had been complicated with the addition of remote-controlled dirigibles with paint-pellet guns under the control of teenagers who had won some video game competition the previous week. While each super teen raced around the jungle gym tower they were fighting on to collect rings, the dirigibles rained paint down on them, each hit losing them points. Epiphany quickly targeted Paradigm Shift with her mind control and was soon using him like a sock pupp
et to collect rings for her team; while that was fun to watch, it cost them a lot of rings and points. Finally, Cosmic Kid dashed in and broke Epiphany’s concentration by yanking on her hair, which was why superheroes should never have long hair; it was worse than having a cape. He, Cosmic Kid, had saved Paradigm Shift on primetime television. But that wasn’t all. Every network was showing the clip of when he leapt from the highest point of the jungle gym tower to grab and bring down a dirigible. It was sloppy heroics but damn good television.
Danny hadn’t fared well in the event, especially after he had crashed the dirigible into her, but her team had won so it all balanced out. Then again, she wasn’t talking to him at the moment; in fact, it seemed all the other super teens were pissed at him. As was so often the case, even during a team competition the media would only crown one winner and for tonight that was him. Corsair had even called and set up a lunch date tomorrow, which meant Tampa Bay was back on board. Life was good. Stephen was a happy agent and his dad had never looked prouder.
Cosmic Kid was right now in their box, where he had just finished up an interview with ABC News. No one was asking him questions about religion, vigilantes, Elle, or his mom – it was just about his awesomeness. He couldn’t wait to check his fansites that night to see the reaction of his loyal followers. There was a knock at the door and Stephen got up to get it. Cosmic Kid looked up expecting another reporter but was surprised to see Epiphany standing there.
“Cosmic Kid, could I talk to you,” said Epiphany as she entered decisively.
Stephen headed back to his seat to check his HoloBerry but John stood up. “Stephen, I think you and I need to go check… ah… the arena for tomorrow’s events.”
“Why?” asked Stephen.
“Because Mr. Minor wishes to get you out of the room so I can speak privately with Cosmic Kid,” said Epiphany with a bored sigh.
“Oh, right,” said Stephen. “Okay, we’ll go check the arena then.”
“So Epiphany what can I do for you?” asked Cosmic Kid as his dad and Stephen left. He doubted that he really needed privacy for a talk with a psychic. He also wondered if Paradigm Shift was giving Epiphany a hard time because she had mind controlled him.
“I would not need your help to deal with Paradigm Shift,” said Epiphany with a note of exasperation.
“You know it’s a little rude to constantly read people’s minds.”
“It is also rude to think so loudly.”
“What?” asked Cosmic Kid.
“The smarter a person, the louder their thoughts,” said Epiphany. “While you certainly don’t make the most of your intelligence, your thoughts are still quite loud.”
“I guess that’s a compliment, but you do need to work on your delivery.” He wondered if she was upset about him pulling her hair.
“Will you quit trying to conjecture why I am here and let me explain why I am here!” said Epiphany with growing annoyance. “Is your mind ever quiet? Perhaps I am making a mistake coming to you.”
“Epiphany, just use words and tell me what you want,” said Cosmic Kid with annoyance.
“Very well, I wish to go out with you. This is purely for publicity purposes. I have had some difficulties with the press and public, psychics are greatly feared, and I need a…PR boost.”
“Ah…well…I…don’t know,” said Cosmic Kid nervously. He wasn’t sure if Epiphany would help or hurt him on the publicity front, but more importantly he wasn’t sure if he even liked her or not. Not in a romantic way, but as a person.
Epiphany looked pained and thoughtful. “Cosmic Kid, please do this as a favor for me. I will try to be less…annoying.” She looked sad and Cosmic Kid instantly felt pity for her and how hard it must be to be a psychic. She flashed him an angry look. “I don’t want your pity – I just want your help.”
“Jesus! Epiphany, you need to stop that – I mean, fine read my thoughts, but quit commenting on them!” snapped Cosmic Kid.
“I’m just trying to be honest with you – and as an atheist you shouldn’t use the Lord’s name in vain,” she said with a smile.
“Whatever…okay…we can go out, but let’s stick to words alright, so…out of curiosity, why did you ask me out?” He figured it was his ‘nice guy’ factor, combined with his impressive performance in the team competition.
“You’re still a virgin, which is endearing.”
“What?!”
“Oh, my mistake. Elle broke up with you because you didn’t put out so I suspected you were a virgin,” said Epiphany. “I see you had sex with Vestige when you were 17, but she dumped you – not surprising since she was four years older than you. Still the fact you didn’t have sex with Elle I take as a sign of good judgment. Witches will do anything and anyone.”
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
“Also, Danny is gay, tremendously gay, I have a better chance than you, so you might as well give up on that delusion.”
“Do I need to pull your hair again?” said Cosmic Kid angrily. “Wait? Are you after Danny?”
“No, I prefer men. I am also not a virgin and having sex with a psychic is like singing with a choir of angels,” said Epiphany. “I’ll leave you with those words and that thought.”
Cosmic Kid sighed as she left the room. Nothing was ever simple.
Chapter 5
12:07 p.m., Thursday, March 28th, 2013
Bayside Boardwalk
West Pacific, CA
Mr. Awesome couldn’t escape the obvious truth: the new costumes looked better on paper than on people. The blue and white swirls made the three supers look like blueberry vanilla popsicles. It wasn’t a pretty sight and in a few minutes they would be heading out to the Bayside Boardwalk for the official Costume Launch where they would face the gathered fans and media. It was going to be a slaughter. It didn’t help that Gabrielle was micromanaging the whole thing from Milwaukee. He suspected that Matt Ruhl, the Deputy PR Director, was going to either quit or throw himself off the boardwalk into the ocean before the day was up. The only good news was that Pierre Le Pompous, or whatever his name was, wasn’t here, though that was probably because after last week’s dress rehearsal he realized that his first foray into designing costumes for American superheroes was likely his last.
“I don’t know, Ben, these costumes…well…I just don’t know,” said Meltdown whose costume was bulkier than the rest of the team’s as it was designed to contain the low-levels of radiation he sometimes sweated, especially when he was nervous.
“Relax, Jason, these are state-of-the-art designs and we’ll all get used to the look in a few weeks. It’s good to make a change every now and then,” said Mr. Awesome, trying to believe his own words.
“At least your costume fits,” snorted Starfish who was being assisted by two young women trying to adjust his costume which was tight on his chest but baggy on his limbs. His mottled orange skin clashed hideously against the blue and white swirls.
“Come on guys - these costumes are great!” said Matt Ruhl, who looked as though he was about to cry. His face fell even farther when his HoloBerry buzzed and he slowly picked it up. “Gabrielle again…I should take this.” Matt headed out of the room to spare the team his further emasculation.
“I suspect Gabrielle is a supervillain trying to destroy the team,” said Starfish as the two young women finished pinning up his costume.
“Well, at least she’s a good-looking supervillain,” said Meltdown.
“True, but right now all we have to look at is Matt…and these costumes,” said Starfish.
“The costumes are fine,” said Mr. Awesome testily.
“Hardly. You let Gabrielle get away with anything, don’t you?” said Starfish with a big smile of his even white teeth as he waved the two young assistants out of the room.
“She contributes to this team as much, perhaps more, than you do,” said Mr. Awesome.
“I see,” said Starfish with a knowing wink to Meltdown.
“Come on, Starfish,
if Ben was getting some Gabrielle action he would definitely tell us,” said Meltdown. “Personally, I think that’s why Keystone is sitting out. I heard from Tina that he made a move on Gabrielle and she shot him down.”
“I wish there were more grownups on the team,” said Mr. Awesome, shaking his head. “You, Starfish, and Keystone are going to get the team caught up in a sexual harassment suit or something. Seriously, the two of you need to respect Gabrielle like you do Annie.”
“I don’t respect Annie, I tolerate her,” laughed Starfish.
“Relax, we would never say this stuff to Gabrielle,” said Meltdown. “We just like picking on you, Mr. A. You would never have an affair – you’re like some uber dude of goodness. I mean, I love Jessica, but I’ve…well, you know, wandered off the reservation a few times. But you’re like a saint; it’s sickening, but cool.”
“I don’t know if it’s cool, but it is sickening,” said Starfish. “Gabrielle is so into you and you don’t do anything about it – it’s pathetic.”
“Gabrielle is not into me, she just finds the rest of you juvenile,” said Mr. Awesome with growing annoyance. He wondered if Jessica knew Jason had cheated on her, but he suspected she didn’t. In her eyes, Jason was perfect even though she was dying from cancer caused by his radiation. He didn’t think Patricia was perfect and he knew she didn’t think he was perfect, but they accepted each other for who they were. He could no more cheat on Patricia then he could cut off his own arm. It wasn’t that he was an ‘uber dude of goodness’; it was just that he was happy with his life, though he was less than happy with the new costume.
“Showtime,” said Matt who came back into the room looking even paler than before. He opened the doors and gestured for the superheroes to head down the hall to the big event.
Mr. Awesome led the way followed by Meltdown, Matt, and Starfish, who was dragging a little farther behind and still fidgeting with his costume. The costumes were not ideal, but it was all about attitude really, Mr. Awesome thought. He would do some poses, clown around a little, and try to make the best of the situation. If all else failed he would joke about the new costumes and laugh with the crowd. That was always the last resort of the… something was wrong!
West Pacific Supers: Rising Tide Page 7