I don’t know why he doesn’t; that guy is weird.
The rest of my team shelters behind my shields as we try to figure out a plan. Missiles and plasma pop against my body, but I’m safe enough, the magnificent human shield.
Never Lies blows a hole right through a triclops as it approaches, and I drop a mutton-head with a blast of my color cannon. We are killing aliens by the hundreds, but they just keep coming.
“So is every mission like this?” Tenchi asks.
“Pretty much,” answers One Trick, “except normally we have to fight in the dark as well.”
“Ha,” says Tenchi uncertainly. I hope he realizes she’s joking.
“Quiet,” orders Never Lies, “we need to collect the others and head upwards. We aren’t doing much good here.”
She’s right. We might be building up the world’s most impressive body count of aliens ever seen, but we haven’t even managed to slow the titan as it walks up the beach.
A squadron of enormous spheres circle us, giant floating eyes with plasma cannons for irises and long metal tentacles as eyelashes.
One blasts Tenchi out of the air, pushing him out of our little circle. He hits the ground and rolls, and the eyeballs swamp him. He cuts out as fast as he can, dropping a few and cutting through tentacles, but two get behind him and squeeze their long tentacles around his neck. I blast one away; three more take its place. It only takes seconds before Tenchi disappears from sight under a pile of wicked tentacles.
“Dangerous! Help him!” orders Never Lies.
Extremely Dangerous ignores her and continues playing with creatures around him, making them either dance or fight with each other for his amusement.
“Simon Smith!” I scream.
“Yes,” he says, and waves his hand at Tenchi.
The aliens attacking Tenchi slow right down to a halt, their tentacles pausing in mid-air. Their bodies fall limp, and I help pull them off him. He looks a bit shaken, and I don’t blame him. I grab him and fly over to Extremely Dangerous.
“Simon Smith,” I say, “can you stop these things long enough for us to head upwards?”
“Of course,” he says, and floats away.
I grab Tenchi and fly towards our team. Bad Day and One Trick provide us some cover as Tenchi charges his shields.
Never Lies grabs me and points at Simon Smith who is spinning around below us.
“What is Extremely Dangerous doing?” she demands, “we need to get out of here.”
“Call him Simon Smith,” I say.
“Why? That’s not his codename.”
“You are here because you never lie. Simon Smith is here because he wants people to know his name. Call him Simon Smith.”
She stares at me.
“This is really not the… whatever. Simon Smith, we need you!”
Simon Smith starts to glow. A single pulse of grey energy bursts from his body and burns through the waves of aliens approaching us. Every alien except the titan falls out of the sky, and we all breathe a sigh of relief. There’s no immediate risk, and we take a moment to relax and check our shields. Everyone seems okay.
“I can’t believe I never thought of trying that,” Never Lies says.
“I have my moments,” I say.
“Moment,” corrects Tenchi, and I hear a few snickers.
“Moments,” I say, “definitely more than one.”
Simon Smith flies up to join us, and we slap him on the back and congratulate him. From the genuine smile he gives us, I wonder if this is the first time anyone has ever been glad to see him.
“We’ll call you whatever you like if you keep doing stuff like that!” One Trick says.
“Call me Simon Smith.”
The ground below us is scattered with alien carcasses. There must be hundreds of them, thousands even, but the beast doesn’t care. It keeps moving, occasionally stepping on the broken bodies of its own alien allies. More creatures drop out its belly.
“We should try to attack the head; if we get close enough it won’t launch missiles at us for fear of hitting itself,” I say.
“Yes. Everyone spread out. We need to move fast and hit hard. We will go up past the second and third legs on the left. Set?” says Never Lies.
“Set,” we say as one.
We fly in a clump, our eyes open and our weapons pointing outwards. The creature lurches forward on its enormous legs, each step taking it out of the water and onto land. We find a joint and start attacking it, but the leg is protected by dozens of towers and huge armored plates.
“I can’t even make a dent in this thing,” I say at last.
“We need to go upwards,” agrees Never Lies, “follow me!”
An octo-ape flies towards us, but Never Lies takes it out with one shot. We fly up and towards the creature’s massive head.
“Incoming!” I yell.
A pair of winged creatures flies at us, but Never Lies and I bring them down. They’re followed by a series of cube tanks and sphere bombers that blast us hard. We make it to the creature’s head just as a fireball falls out of the sky and hits right near me. The fireball lands on the metal and keeps burning through the scales.
It’s about time Dark Fire showed up.
Small Talk is next to arrive, and gets to work ripping up turrets and binding them to himself until he is a ball of guns that blast everything out of the sky. His efforts buy us safety from above as more parachutes appear in the sky.
“What is that guy even doing?” says Tenchi in amazement.
The whole team is landing on the creature’s back, and for the first time every member of the Cerberus Brawlers focus their energies on one single target.
We work with fire bombs and ice blades, lasers and plasma cannons, axes and spears, pulsing swords and gravmaces. There are waves of energy in every color flying through the air, the hummings and screaming of sonic weapons and the occasionally dull explosion as we tear this creature down. Even Simon Smith gets involved, casually ripping whole scales off the beast’s back and throwing them aside as if they were nothing. The metal next to me explodes, and my shield alarm starts ringing again. I ignore it; this is no time to run.
“Attack the eyes!” orders Past Prime as he runs towards the banks of eyes above the creature’s head.
Tenchi follows him and they rip up turrets and sensor pods with their swords. A huge spike beside an eye explodes, throwing Tenchi right off the creature’s head and down to the beach below it.
“Tenchi!” I yell.
Past Prime doesn’t stop his attacks but simply presses onwards. The team ignores my fallen friend, and he is alone.
No, not alone.
I cast myself into the air, fly past the creature’s head and down to where Tenchi is laying in the sand. He isn’t moving; it was a long way down.
“Hey, are you all right?”
“Argh… what the heck was… uh oh.”
The titan is looking down at us. It opens its huge mouth and roars out a tsunami of flames that break against my shield. I form a dome of overlapping blue plates that hold the worst of the fire out but I can feel still the raw heat on my face. Pain burns across my body, but it’s no worse than what I’ve suffered in training. I stand over Tenchi and focus on staying alive, letting my power flow through me. The implants in my neck and ear get hot, but I ignore them. My shield shimmers and glows, warping under the attack. The air is filled with a roar like ten thousand screaming seagulls my shields flicker.
“Sorry, dude,” I say, but I doubt Tenchi can hear me.
My shields drop to 3%, and I close my eyes. At least we were trying, I think to myself, at least we were doing something. I think of Mom, and realize I’m about to see her again. I close my eyes and try to make peace with my death.
“Uh, dude?”
I open my eyes; Tenchi is looking up at me from the ground.
“You look intense, man, is everything all right?”
The sand around us has fused into a single crystal of blackened g
lass. It looks like the ruins of Mordor, only without the charm. The sand below us is still yellow, but it’s as hot as hell.
“I did not expect to survive that,” I mutter, but Tenchi doesn’t hear.
Dark Fire lands beside us with a crunch. He looks impressed, unless I’m just imagining that. I help Tenchi to his feet, but he’s so worn out that he doesn’t even notice who is talking to us.
“We managed to plant some bombs inside it, so we need to get out of here,” says Dark Fire.
We hear an almighty explosion above us as one of the creature’s legs gives way. I look up in wonder as the titan begins to fall, but Tenchi has more sense and pulls me away. We make it to the cliffs as chains of explosions break through the giant robot’s back and it falls down to the sand.
The team gives up a ragged cheer when it becomes obvious that the creature won’t be getting back up.
None of us have got through unscathed. Most of the team are lying down; many aren’t moving at all. There are maybe eight of us still in fighting shape and I’m including Tenchi and myself in that count.
Dark Fire lights a flare, and a Comet lands on the cliffs. I’m too tired to help, so I find a rock with a view of the alien carcass and sit overlooking the sea. The waves are peaceful.
“That was… wow,” says Tenchi as he collapses beside me.
I’m too tired to do anything but nod.
We watch in satisfaction as the creature starts to fall apart, big chunks breaking off and falling to the sand. A second round of explosions rips through the creature and plumes of multi-colored smoke rise into the air.
“That head… is it moving by itself?” asks Tenchi.
No. No, surely not.
“Copy that. Everyone on their feet!” yells Dark Fire.
I groan and leap into the air. The creature’s head has grown a set of thin legs. It’s clumsy and slow, but the turrets on its head are still deadly. One catches One Trick on the side of the head and she goes down. Another hits me in the chest, knocking me around. I try to gain height, but I’m bombarded with missiles and plasma bolts. I try to circle and dodge, but I can’t even see where I’m flying. I fly out of a storm of lasers and swoop down to the creature’s moving hand. I roll under its legs and blast its belly with my color cannon. The creature stumbles, and I realize that I don’t want to be under it when it collapses.
“Yikes!” I scream, and scramble from underneath it.
Two supers grab me and pull me into the air. We are just in time; the creature falters and falls, squashing everything below it. My rescuers are Zoo Prank and Home Brew, and both look tired.
“Thanks,” I say, but Home Brew just nods.
The creature is dying, but it isn’t dead. A tentacle-like tongue whips out and grabs Past Prime, pulling him back into the mouth. The monster bites down, and we scramble to attack its mouth. Tenchi cuts away some of its teeth and Dark Fire pushes past them, right into the creature’s throat.
The creature slumps forward and its jaws relax. Small Talk forces the mouth open and Dark Fire drags Past Prime out. Both of them are covered in purple acid, and Past Prime’s leg is gone below the knee.
I try to get between his face and his leg, but he pushes me aside.
“Relax, boy. It was my metal leg, anyway.”
We pull him away from the creature’s head, just in case. Dark Fire kneels beside him. The older man grunts in recognition as Dark Fire bends over him.
“I am so sorry, Rob. You have lost so much by following me,” says Dark Fire.
“Nonsense,” whispers Past Prime, “I’ve been killing saucers since before your time, and I’m not done yet! This old body still has a trick or two!”
They talk quietly together until a medical transport arrives, and then I help the medics load Prime onto a stretcher.
“He’ll survive,” the medic says, “mostly just damage to his cyborg parts.”
“See?” whispers Prime weakly.
More superheroes are loaded onto the transport, and it takes off.
“I hope you learnt something from that,” says Pet Shark from right behind me.
He has an arm in a sling and his helmet is missing. It looks like he put up a heck of a fight.
I did learn something: Past Prime’s real name is Rob. I would not have guessed.
“Everybody gather,” orders Dark Fire.
We form a circle around him. He listens to the radio in his helmet as he waves us closer.
“Orders coming in,” says Dark Fire. He pauses, stunned.
We all look over; it’s a rare thing to see a legendary superhero lost for words. He opens his visor and shakes his head in disbelief.
“Another titan has just made landfall… and we’ve been ordered to respond.”
Lesson Fourteen: …So Have A Plan For When Everything Goes Wrong
“Stay calm and trust in the Corps. We have everything under control
-Superhero Corps official propaganda
“Some days everything goes wrong, despite all the plans and attempts to make things better. Being a superhero doesn’t prevent those days, it amplifies them.”
-Bad Day, email to his brother.
Only seven of us make it to the second titan, and all of us are hurting.
Tenchi and I are the only trainees, but we are in better shape than the others. Never Lies has lost one of her cannons, Home Brew is limping, Free Man and Simon Smith are covered in burn marks and cuts, and even Dark Fire is moving more slowly than usual.
“We’re dead,” says Home Brew as we soar in the Comet, and no one disagrees.
The Comet drops us above the city and we fly in formation, a thin shield to stand against the saucer’s great weapon. The city unrolls below, streets and buildings all laid out like a model. Cars and buses rush under our feet as people flee back the way we came. Some look up and wave, but most do not. They are too busy trying to survive, too busy in the struggle and frenzy of escape. The sounds of sirens and screams drift up to us, but they are muffled and far away, noise from another world. We fly in silence, each of us full of both focus and fear. The people below are relying on us; thousands will die if we fail.
I feel like a superhero for the first time; I feel like this is my moment.
We land on the highest tower and wait. We can’t see any other supers in the air. Dark Fire drops a purple emergency flare, a call to any and all superheroes to gather to him. I doubt they will. The first team sent to stop the titan are missing, and it will be too long to wait for any others to arrive. We are alone, but Dark Fire still drops the flare. It sizzles loudly. We can hear the heavy footsteps of the creature approaching, smell the smoke of distant fires. The ugly sounds of a panicking city drift up to us, the crash of cars colliding and distant, useless sirens.
“Any sign of the East Coast Warriors?” asks Never Lies.
The warriors were meant to be protecting this area, but there is no sign of them. I wonder if they have already tried to stop the creature and failed.
“They are not here,” says Simon Smith with worry confidence.
An enormous red dorsal fin rises over the hills. This titan is different from the last one, with a broad head and two vast cannons on its shoulders. It has long rows of spines taller than the building we are standing on and a pair of long, thin tails that whip from side to side as it approaches. We aren’t the first to try and stop this thing: it's limping, and smoke rises from a long gash on its right side. Whoever did that must have hit it real hard.
Just not hard enough.
“What are we waiting for?” asks Tenchi.
Dark Fire waves him to silence.
“You have a plan, right?” asks Home Brew nervously.
I know his story; he was kicked out of two teams for getting dangerously drunk while on duty. He’s not the kind of superhero you might expect to find at the end of days, yet here he is.
“We have a plan,” says Never Lies, “but it’s a long shot. We won’t blame anyone who leaves now.”
There is an uncomfortable silence as we consider it.
“I’m staying,” I say at last, “there are too many civilians still out here.”
“I’ll stay,” says Tenchi, “but I want a promotion if we survive. And a dog.”
I laugh, but Tenchi shakes his head.
“I’m serious, I want a dog.”
“I choose to stay,” says Free Man, “which is both the first and last real choice I’ve had in years. I wanted to be a philosopher, you know, not a soldier.”
“You can be both,” I suggest.
“Everyone will know my name after today,” says Simon Smith, and smiles as if that’s all that matters. I don’t know if he’s planning to leave business cards when we’re done here, and I’m not about to ask him.
“You’re a weird guy, Simon Smith,” I say, “but I’m glad you’re here.”
“Call me… Simon.”
Home Brew looks like he might fly off, but he doesn’t.
“I’m staying,” he says at last, “I would never forgive myself if I left now. I can’t believe that brewing a few beers landed me here. I’m never drinking again.”
“I’m glad you are all staying,” says Dark Fire.
“We’ll be fine,” says Tenchi.
“No, we probably won’t,” says Never Lies, “there is no use pretending otherwise.”
Two parachutes open in the sky, little flowers of home almost lost in the big blue forever. They circle, see the flare and head to join us.
“It’s Perth Rose and Three Brothers,” I say.
I didn’t see them in the fight earlier. It looks liked they just arrived from the Cerberus. They are each holding a red bag almost as big as I am, but they aren’t carrying any other weapons. The bags are connected directly to their power suits by thick tubes, something I have never seen before. Whatever they are, they’re powered by the suits. They land gently beside us, and Dark Fire checks them over.
Trainee Superhero (Book Three) Page 4