“Hellcat, honey…”
“Give me your damn gun!”
“Hellcat,” he starts again.
“Zander!”
“Jesus, I am going to tan your ass when you get better woman,” he grumbles handing me the pistol he’s been using.
“This is for making me hurt…for making me run…for causing me to get my friends mixed up in any of this…for hurting Nicole and Dragon…for killing Frog…” I add all I can think of until Zander’s pistol is out of bullets. I would have demanded another gun and kept going, but Zander picks me up and takes me to Hawk.
“Take her back to her room and this time do what I fucking tell you and keep her there,” he growls. He’s mad, but even so he kisses my face gently and whispers into my ear, “I’m so fucking proud of you, Hellcat.”
Then I’m in Hawk’s arms and going back inside. I can hear Zander growl at Dragon, but I let it go. He can handle his own shit. I’m suddenly very tired.
Chapter 44
Crusher
My woman has motherfucking balls of steel. Jesus. She fucking amazes me. Even with all the shit going on I couldn’t be more proud of her. I knew she was special from the first moment I saw her, but fuck, I had no idea.
I’m on lock down, per Dragon’s orders. I haven’t told Dani. I don’t want her worrying. With Michael gone, she’s going through some shit. She’s not really talking to me about it, and that shit needs to stop. I’m fully expecting to have my patch taken and voted out of the club. The branding of the tat is going to hurt like a motherfucker, I’m okay with it. If I had to go back I’d do it all again.
Besides, the fact that Dragon felt it was okay to fake his own fucking death and tell the President of other clubs and not let his VP, or his Enforcer know speaks volume about the shape of this fucking club. It’s not completely Dragon’s fault, Bull and I are responsible too, but I’m still fucked up about it. The more I talk to Diesel, the more I am sure that a change of setting would be good for Dani and me. Diesel and I were just as tight back in the day as I was with Dragon. I respect him and I’m pretty sure it’d be a good move.
“What are you thinking so hard about, Cowboy?” Dani asks.
“I’m thinking how motherfucking lucky I am to have you,” I tell her and it’s the truth.
“Yeah, I’m a real catch,” she sighs holding her hand up, the one with the missing finger, to look at it.
“You are, Hellcat. You’re everything and more than I could have imagined.”
She shakes her head no, but squeezes my hand.
“Have you talked with Dragon? Is Nicole okay?”
Nicole went into early labor the day of the funeral. She was too early in the pregnancy and the baby had some major problems, but the little guy is a fighter and gets to come home soon. Nicole has led my brother on a major fucking twisted trip. It’s been so bad between her and Dragon that even my woman took Dragon aside and gave him advice. I never thought, I’d see that. Still after a couple of weeks it looks like they’ve found their way back together.
“Yeah baby, the doctors even think Dom can come home soon,” I tell her.
She smiles, “That’s good.”
“What do you think about going on a trip with me when you’re able?” I ask her because before I make a final decision I need to know. I’m doing nothing without my woman from here on out.
“A trip?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m thinking a change of scenery would do you good. Diesel asked me to come help him out at his club and I’m thinking about it. I think Tennessee would be good for the both of us.”
“Tennessee?”
“Yeah baby, we could rent a house on the water, I think you’d like it.” I watch her face closely. I don’t want to do anything she’s not a hundred percent on board with.
“Zander, I’m pretty messed up. I don’t think…I’m not sure I’m ready for…I mean, I love you, I do. But, there’s just…”
I put my fingers on her lips. I know where she’s going, and I just can’t let her go there. She will heal. I will get her there. It’s just going to take time.
“Do you want me?”
“Well, of course, but…”
“Then we take each day together. No promises, no pressure,” it kills me, but I understand. She looks sad, but doesn’t argue. I start to say more when there’s a knock on the door, I let it go and get up to answer the door.
When Bull, Dragon and Dancer are all at the door, I know the time has come.
“We need to talk,” Drag says, looking around me at Dani lying in the bed.
“Yeah, okay. Can I say goodbye to my woman first?” I ask quietly, because I don’t want Dani to know what’s going on exactly.
Dragon nods and I close the door, and walk back to the bed.
“Hellcat, I got some club business going on. I’ll try and hurry back. You can text me though, okay?”
“Is everything okay?”
“It’s perfect and when I get back we’re Tennessee bound… sound good?”
“If you’re sure…” she says hesitantly, and I think she sees that I’m holding stuff back but she nods. I give her a kiss. It’s not as passionate as I want, but still sliding my tongue inside to taste her, soothes me. I’ll handle this and get back to my woman soon.
I close the door behind me and look at my brothers.
“You called me out,” Dragon says and his face is remote, but I think I see a flicker of something there that lets me know my brother hates this fucking shit as much as I do.
“I did,” I can’t deny it and I wouldn’t.
“It can’t go unanswered. Out back in the yard, meet me in ten. I win, you get the cooler for a couple days while I arrange the vote. You win, you get the President patch.”
Fuck, and I say fuck for two reasons. I told Dani to text me and if I get the cooler, I’m not going to have a cell phone and even if I do, there’s no signal. Secondly, I may strike at Dragon because I’m pissed at the way he did stuff, but I’m the one who fucked up here, so I’m not gonna even try to win. Dragon is President of this club and even if I don’t like how he did things with Michael, it was brilliant, proving he is a leader. I’m not. I don’t even want to be.
“See you in ten,” I say resignedly, because fuck, this is going to hurt.
Chapter 45
Dani
“How are you feeling?” I look up to see Nicole standing at the door.
I was hoping it was Zander. I haven’t heard from him in two days. I wanted to ask the others, but they don’t really talk to me and I don’t want to make myself look stupid by asking for a man who might not want me anymore. He’s not even answered my texts.
“Bored,” I answer, turning my attention back to Nicole as she comes in and closes the door. “How’s Dom?”
“He’s good, really good. I was hoping we could talk for a little bit, if you’re not too tired.”
Things are stilted between me and Nicole now. She held me responsible for Dragon’s death and I understand. I hold myself responsible too. I want to fix it, but I don’t really know how. I’m hoping time manages to do it.
“Nah, I’m bored out of my mind. I’m thinking about going outside and walking a little bit. I need to feel the sunshine on my face.”
“Zander wouldn’t like you overdoing it. You’ve healed a lot, but you were in bad shape.”
“Yeah well, I haven’t heard from Zander, so I’m not sure that matters now.”
“I uh…You don’t know?” She asks, her voice sounding surprised.
“Zander is under lockdown by the club. They’re having a vote today to decide on kicking him out of the club,” she answers.
“But…he and Dragon are like brothers…that doesn’t make any sense.”
“He called Dragon out, and I guess they had to go all he-man over it. There’s protocol and rules that can’t be broken.”
She says that last part imitating Dragon’s voice and I could almost laugh if I wasn’t so worried.
“How the fuck do I know? Some place called the cooler. They’re getting ready for church now though, so I imagine he’ll be there with the rest of the morons,” she answers sounding as frustrated as I’m feeling.
“I need to go there,” I tell her, already heading towards the door.
“Women aren’t allowed in church, Dani.”
“If it was Dragon being voted on, would you just sit by and wait?”
“Fuck, we’re going to church aren’t we? If my ass gets paddled and I can’t sit down next week, I’m coming after you bitch,” she grumbles, but when I look up she’s smiling.
“I love you Nic, I know I’m a fuck-up and I’m trying to get better, but I love you,” I tell her because I need her to know that.
“I got you, girl. I’m sorry too, I’ve been a bitch to you since the bomb and everything else. I shouldn’t have been. We made decisions together and you had valid reasons for trying to keep the club out of it. It’ll work out.”
Something clicks inside at her words.
“Badass Bitches for life,” I smile repeating a forgotten motto from our school days.
“Ride or die even,” she adds and we hug. Then she lets me lean on her as we walk to our first and probably last ever, church meeting.
*
We get into the church room quietly. It seems too easy and when Nicole winks at me, I’m pretty sure she somehow cleared it with Hawk or one of the others first.
“Do you have nothing to say for yourself?” Dragon is asking Zander.
“Bastard had my old lady, I handled shit that needed to be done. I got Dani back and I’d do it a fucking hundred times over. If that gets me booted from the club then what-the-fuck-ever,” Zander answers and my heart stutters at what he just put out there in front of all of his brothers. Brothers who admittedly have warmed towards me, but for the most part view me as an outsider.
“You defied direct orders, and put the club in jeopardy. You put a woman before your brothers, and you had the fucking balls to call me out in front of others. I should strip you of club colors right here and close the fucking vote. The end.”
“She’s not a woman, she is my old lady,” he says once again, telling the world it’s me he chooses. Me. Even more than that…he sounds…proud. Do I make Zander proud? Despite my past? Despite the things Michael did to me?
“She hasn’t agreed to that shit, so that makes her a woman,” Dragon answers and I feel ashamed because I think back to the last conversation that Zander and I had. I should have just told him right then that he was it for me.
“Bullshit. I claim her. My woman needed me. I did nothing more or nothing less than you would’ve done,” Zander responds and I know I can’t handle anymore. I’m his woman and it’s time I stop being afraid of what that means. If he can put me before everything and be proud of that then I need to work harder to be the woman he deserves.
“He’s right,” I say and I wish my voice sounded stronger. I have trouble being around crowds and a room full of angry men isn’t exactly fun times for me.
“What’s that, Hellcat?” Zander asks. He gets up and comes to me, his voice full of emotion and love is shining in his eyes. Love…for me…It warms me. The emptiness and dark I’ve been feeling…part of it heals with that look. Zander loves me. I’m not a substitute. I’m his.
The reality of that hits me and I stumble, but I catch myself. The last thing I want to do is fall and ruin this. I hold steady and look my man in the eyes. My man.
“I admit that I’m yours. I was yours then. I…I…” The enormity of what I’m doing here hits me. I’m giving myself to another man. I’m doing it with…joy. I look around at all the men staring at me and I can’t tell what they’re thinking. Do they find me lacking? Do they think I’m not good enough for their brother?
“Say it, Hellcat. Say it,” Zander says and the emotion in his voice is so thick, I push forward again.
“I’m yours Zander and I definitely claim you as mine.”
Zander kisses me on the forehead and wraps his arms around me. I hear his intake of breath and then he whispers to me, “That’s my angel.”
I can’t stop the tears that fall. I don’t even try. I’m finally in the arms of the man I was meant for all along. I’m where I belong…where I’ve always belonged.
“Go on back to our room, I’ll check on you when I’m done,” Zander tells me and I don’t want to leave him alone to face this vote. I want to be here for him.
“But…,”
“I’m proud of you Hellcat, don’t worry. I’ll do what I need to do and then I’ll come to you.”
I try to give him a smile and turn to leave. I’m kind of ashamed of the mess I’ve caused him. He deserves better.
“Hellcat? My woman doesn’t look down. Remember?” I stiffen my back and smile. He’s proud of me. I’m his.
“I won’t forget,” and I’m talking about more than just looking down.
“That’s my girl.”
“Just get your shit done, Zander, and quit busting my ass.”
Chapter 46
Crusher
It’s been a month. Dani and I have been in Tennessee with Diesel’s crew and he’s urging me to stay on, as his second in command. I’m pretty sure I’m going to. I love Drag and the boys, but honestly I need a fucking change. My woman fits in here. She’s happy. The other old ladies have welcomed her completely. There’s only one dark spot. Dani hasn’t given herself to me. She’s healed now. Still has some problems and pain, but for the most part she’s healed. I’ve done everything, but right out ask. I’ve tried to be respectful, but motherfucker my balls are going blue here.
She’s bent over our bed, making it and smoothing out wrinkles. She’s got on some cute little hot-ass shorts and a red t-shirt that says badass bitch on it. My eyes are glued to the way the fringe on her shorts plays and caresses the mound of her ass cheek, almost letting me see the curve and my patience snaps.
“Are you ever going to let me fuck you again?”
She straightens slowly and turns to me. Her hair has grown back out some, it’s now almost to the top of her neck. The bruises have left her face and there’s nothing but one very small scar under her chin. She still wears that damn dark red lip stick that instantly makes my cock hard. Under the thin strap of her top you can see her new tattoo. She thought the scar where she tried to take her own life was ugly. I thought it was beautiful. I had her get a tattoo over it and she agreed, she even allowed me to pick what I wanted. I think she thought I would choose my name. Don’t get me wrong, I fully intend too. Still, I wanted the one word that summed up what that scar was all about. So in flowing letters covered in barb wire and roses the word Courage brands my woman. That’s my woman. That’s my woman to a fucking T…
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t stutter Hellcat, I asked if you’re ever going to let me fuck you again.”
“Zander, I’ve been…I mean… You want to have sex?” She asks finally and Jesus what kind of question is that to ask a man?
“Are you fucking kidding me? Junior is slowly dying and withering away, Hellcat. I’m dying to get back inside you.”
“I’m scarred up pretty bad, Zander.”
“You’re fucking gorgeous.”
“I…Shit, Zander you might not…I mean, I might not…”
“Strip, Dani.”
“Zander…”
I walk to her then. She’s nervous. Motherfucker! How could I have been so stupid? I turn her so her back is to me and then pull her shirt over her head. I don’t give her time to question anything. I unlatch her bra and throw it on the ground with her shirt. I pull her back against me. My arm sliding across her warm breasts, as I kiss the side of her neck.
“Zander…I’m scared.”
“I got you,” I answer, sliding my other hand around to undo her shorts.
“I’m lost,” she says. “I can’t even find myself,” but even as she says it her lips ar
e turning to mine, and her hand comes up to pull my head down to her.
I don’t let her pull me in until my eyes find hers.
“Then hold on Hellcat, because I got you and I’m not letting you go. Believe in that,” I tell her.
I see a smile slide onto her lips and that’s when I claim them. I drink in her taste like the man I am. A man who has been starving for over a fucking month for his woman. I push her shorts and underwear down to her knees, before I even break the kiss.
“This is going to go fast, Hellcat,” I tell her and I’m mourning it. It’s her first time making love since the attack. A better man would be slow and soft with her. He would make her see how fucking beautiful she is. I promise I’ll give her that soon, I just think it’s beyond me at this point.
“Take me…take me just like this…”
Now, I’m not a foolish man that would ever turn down a plea like that, but something in her tone makes me stop and realize I was worried about going too fast for a reason. I can’t take her like this. I need her to look in my eyes when I love her. I need her to see the truth, that to me she is the most beautiful person on the face of the Earth.
For that reason and that reason alone, I pull back.
“Step out of your clothes Hellcat and get on the bed,” I order.
“Zander…”
“Do it now, Dani. It’s time I show you the fucking man you’ve tied yourself too.”
“Jesus, we’ve been together for a while now. I think I know,” she grumbles, but she does as I order.
I take my clothes off, without saying anything else. Her eyes never leave me though and the hunger on her face is all I need to know. I’m doing the right thing.
“Do you want my cock?
“God, yes.”
Claiming Crusher: Savage Brothers MC Page 26