by Gerri Hill
“Ashleigh, what are we doing?” she whispered, suddenly afraid. She wanted them to kiss, yes. She wanted them to do all sorts of things. But she was afraid of where it would lead, afraid they would do something that Ashleigh would regret later—tomorrow.
“I’m sorry,” Ashleigh said, quickly taking her hand away. “You’re right. I’m sorry. That’s just crazy.”
Right about what, Gina wasn’t sure. But she knew one thing. She would get no sleep tonight. How could she? She had a throbbing ache between her legs as unfamiliar wetness pooled there. Her body was on fire and it had nothing to do with being sunburned, and everything to do with Ashleigh Pence lying naked beside her.
But she settled back down, next to Ashleigh, their bodies close. The quiet in the room was disturbed only by the sounds of their still rapid breathing.
Chapter Twelve
Present Day
“The fact that you had a female lover when you were a junior in high school is not as shocking to me as learning you were a cheerleader,” Julie teased. “That’s just wrong. Lesbians should not be cheerleaders.”
Ashleigh flicked her gaze to Pam, noting that she was enjoying Julie’s teasing as much as Julie was. “Do you have to tell her everything?”
“Of course. You’ve been our source of entertainment for the last couple of weeks. Why do you think we invited you over for dinner?”
Ashleigh stole an olive off of the snack tray, trying not to take it too personally that Pam and Julie used her for their entertainment. And really, who could blame them. Especially this week, as she had been nearly in a state of panic after the phone call. The phone call from Crissy Summers saying “you’ll never believe who RSVP’d.” But of course she could. She’d been expecting it—dreading it. She didn’t know how she knew, but she would have bet money that this year, Gina Granbury would attend their high school reunion. She could feel it in her gut, feel it in her heart.
And how embarrassing was it going to be to have to face her, seeing Gina, no doubt with a gorgeous lover hanging on her arm, and here Ashleigh would be, forever single. Single and scarred because of Gina, she reminded herself. Single because she couldn’t recapture the magic—the passion—that they had. And scarred because Gina Granbury had shattered her heart into tiny pieces, making some lame-ass excuse about them both needing space, needing to see other people, needing to get out. Oh, yeah, Gina got out all right. She got out and into beds, that is.
“Why are you frowning?”
Ashleigh pulled her thoughts back to the present, hating that nearly every waking hour was spent on Gina Granbury, a woman she swore she would hate until her dying breath. She waved her hand dismissively. “Thinking about the breakup,” she said.
“The one that was nearly twenty years ago?” Julie asked.
“Look, I know it’s hard for you to understand, but I was so in love with her, I thought everything was just perfect. We were truly soul mates. Or at least that’s what my perception was at the time. So for her to break up with me barely two months into our college career—well, I was devastated.”
“Tell her the story,” Pam said as she headed inside. “It’s time to put the burgers on.”
“You want another beer?” Julie asked, looking at the empty that Ashleigh had been twirling aimlessly on the table.
“Yes, please.” Tell her the story? What part of the story? The breakup? The falling in love part? Or the part where now, twenty years later, she can still remember what it felt like to be loved by Gina Granbury.
“I still can’t wrap my head around you being a cheerleader,” Julie said as she handed her another beer.
Ashleigh laughed. “I quit my junior year. It was never a passion of mine, only my mother’s.”
“Is that because you found a new passion?”
“You could say that.” She leaned back in the chair, staring out over their backyard. “It’s funny, really. Gina knew she was gay. She said she’d known it even before high school. Me? Never crossed my mind. I just knew none of the boys in Calloway interested me, but I didn’t wonder why.” She paused. “I didn’t meet Gina until we were freshmen. I would find her watching me sometimes. We weren’t really friends, hardly spoke, but I knew she was there. There was just something about the way she looked at me. I was drawn to her.”
“Did she finally get you in a dark corner and kiss you senseless?”
Ashleigh leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “Believe it or not, I made the first move.”
“I thought you didn’t know you were gay.”
“I didn’t. I invited her on a family vacation that summer before junior year. We always rented a beach house on Mustang Island for a week.” She smiled, remembering the excuse for getting naked the first time. “One night, we were both sunburned. We took our shirts off and put lotion on each other. I had no idea her hands on me would feel that good.” She swallowed, remembering Gina’s hands as they touched her for the first time. “I...I turned it into more. I could tell she was aroused. Hell, we both were. I...I encouraged her to touch my breast. She did. Good God, I thought I was going to pass out.” She smiled. “I wanted to kiss her right then, but she pulled back. At the time, I thought it was the best thing to do. The state we were in, it would have gone way past a kiss.”
“You didn’t freak out?”
“No. I mean, I was a little embarrassed the next morning. She was too. But we didn’t talk about it. And we weren’t really alone much. My parents had taken us to the mall, then to lunch, then to a movie, so we really didn’t have a chance to talk about it.” She looked at Julie, smiling. “But that night...oh, God.”
Chapter Thirteen
Twenty-three years earlier
“Are you enjoying yourself, Gina?”
“Oh, yes ma’am. It’s been wonderful. Thank you for allowing me to come along.”
Ashleigh smiled as she eavesdropped on her mother and Gina. She turned the water on, drowning out their conversation as she finished brushing her teeth. When she finished, Gina was leaning in the doorway, waiting. Their eyes met, shyly at first as they both looked away. Then Ashleigh dared to hold her gaze, seeing just a hint of nervousness in Gina’s eyes. She assumed Gina saw the same in hers.
They hadn’t talked about what had happened last night. They hadn’t had a minute alone all day. Even at the movies, her brother Mark wanted to sit by Gina so they were separated. But still, it was different between them. She could tell each time their eyes met, each time they touched, however slight. There was electricity, a spark. And now the twins and their two friends were in bed, her parents were winding down and she and Gina would be off to bed...alone.
“It’s all yours,” she finally said, motioning to the sink.
“Thanks.”
“I’m...I’m just going to go ahead to...to bed,” she said, stepping out of the way.
“Be there in a sec.”
Ashleigh let her breath out as soon as Gina closed the door. She was nearly embarrassed by her nervousness. What did she think would happen? There were no excuses of sunburn this time so there wouldn’t be a repeat of last night.
“Ashleigh?”
She turned, finding her mother watching her. “Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
She felt her face turn scarlet and she stayed in the shadows of the hall, hoping her mother couldn’t see. “I’m fine. Why?”
“You’ve been a little quiet today, that’s all.”
“Oh, no. Today was fun.” She smiled. “I’ve had a good time this year.”
“You’re glad you invited Gina?” she asked quietly.
“Yes. Especially since she’s never been down here before.”
“Well, she’s very nice. Mature for her age.”
Ashleigh nodded. “Yes. Very different from Crissy, huh?”
Her mother laughed. “Very.” She turned away. “Goodnight, honey. Get some rest. Tomorrow will be your last full day on the beach,” she reminded her.
“Okay. Goodn
ight.”
She finally escaped into their bedroom, hurrying out of her shorts and into her sleep shirt. She’d just pulled the covers up when Gina came in. She stood at the door, hesitating for a second before she came in and closed it. Ashleigh knew they needed to talk about what had happened, but what would she say? Sorry that I lost my head and groped you? Sorry that I really lost my head and wanted to kiss you?
But she said nothing, watching as Gina hit the light switch, plunging the room into darkness. She should have turned her head away, she shouldn’t have watched, but her eyes strayed as Gina took her clothes off, then slipped into her own sleep shirt, hiding her small breasts from Ashleigh’s gaze. She bit her lower lip, trying to keep her breathing as normal as possible, but Gina wasn’t even in bed yet and she felt that pull—making her heart flutter, making her stomach do flips, making her skin tingle.
She wasn’t certain how she was going to be able to stand it. For the first time in her young life, she wanted someone. She recognized it for what it was. She was sexually attracted to Gina Granbury. She squeezed her eyes shut. Not a boy, no. She never, ever felt this way with a boy. And she knew deep inside she would never feel this way with a boy.
“Ashleigh?”
She turned her head slowly, finding Gina standing beside the bed, watching her. “Yes?”
“Do you...do you want me to sleep on the floor?”
“Oh, God...no, Gina. No.” She pulled the covers back. “Get in.”
Gina got into bed, keeping her distance, which was hard to do in the small double bed.
“I’m sorry about last night,” she said. “I shouldn’t have—”
“I started it,” Ashleigh said, interrupting her apology. She took a deep breath. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Do you?”
Ashleigh rolled onto her side, facing Gina. “If it were anyone other than you, I’d be totally mortified over what happened.”
“What do you mean, other than me?”
“Because if it were someone else, it would have just been experimenting, playing around. We would blow it off, go back to school and then worry that the other one would tell someone what happened.”
“But?” Gina whispered.
“But it wasn’t just experimenting.” She met Gina’s eyes, the shadows making it hard to read them. “Was it?”
“No,” Gina said, the word just a whisper. She cleared her throat. “There’s something I should tell you.”
“Okay.”
“Please don’t be mad at me. I should have told you sooner.”
“Okay,” Ashleigh said again.
“I’m...I’m gay.”
Ashleigh wasn’t sure how to respond. She wasn’t shocked, no. But what did she say? Gee, that explains all that touching and heavy breathing last night. Of course, she was the one who started it. What did that make her?
“Ashleigh? I’m sorry—”
“No. No, don’t. I just don’t know what to say,” she admitted.
“I promise I won’t ever tell anyone what happened. The secret is safe.”
Ashleigh smiled. “Oh, so you think it was just one sided?” She reached her hand out, daring to touch her. She found Gina’s arm and slid her hand up, rubbing lightly. “Gina, what happened last night...I’m not mad or upset. And the fact that I’m not scares me a little.” Just touching her arm now, feeling her warmth, scared her a little. “I wanted you to touch me,” she quietly. “We both know I started it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m attracted to you.” Saying it out loud made it all the more real. “Last night, I wanted...I wanted your touch. I wanted to kiss you. The way it felt last night...I’ve never experienced that before. It felt so good,” she said.
“Do you...do you want to do it again?”
The question hung in the air, the meaning sinking home. Ashleigh felt her stomach tighten, felt her heart jump into her throat, felt the tightness of her chest as her breathing increased. Did she want to do it again?
“Yes,” she whispered.
She waited, wanting Gina to make the first move, wanting her to take the lead. She did, rolling to her side, facing Ashleigh. Ashleigh held her breath, waiting for her touch. She didn’t have to wait long before a warm hand slipped under her T-shirt. Tonight, Gina wasn’t shy, her hand sliding to Ashleigh’s breast without hesitation. Ashleigh gasped at the first touch, then moaned as Gina’s fingers teased her nipple.
“Can I take your shirt off?” Gina asked, her voice thick with emotion. “Please?”
“Yes.” Ashleigh leaned up, helping Gina pull her T-shirt over her head. “Yours too.”
Gina did as she asked, tossing her shirt aside without looking, her eyes locked on Ashleigh. Gina’s demeanor was different tonight. Gone was the shyness, the uncertainty. She had a nearly predatory look about her which excited Ashleigh much more than it frightened her.
When Gina’s hands came to her again, Ashleigh felt her body rise up to meet her. Her soft moan turned into a groan as Gina covered both her breasts, squeezing them, teasing them, rubbing her hard nipples into her palms. She felt the pulsing between her legs and she squeezed them tightly together. Then Gina pulled her hands away, replacing them with her mouth.
“Oh, dear God,” Ashleigh murmured, unable to contain the loud moan as Gina’s hot mouth sucked at her nipple. Never in her life had she imagined it would feel this way. Her hands reached out, finding Gina, drawing her near. She didn’t know what she wanted, didn’t know what to do, but she had an innate desire to feel Gina pressed against her.
Instinctively, her legs spread, allowing Gina inside. She was panting now, unable to catch her breath, her hips moving wildly.
“Shhh,” Gina whispered, her mouth mere inches away.
Tonight, Ashleigh didn’t ask. She just reached up, her hand curling behind Gina’s neck, pulling her mouth to her. There wasn’t anything shy about their first kiss. Her mouth opened, letting Gina’s tongue inside. The few make-out sessions with boys told her that Gina had much more experience in kissing than she did. Gina’s tongue captured her own, their moans mingling as their kisses deepened. Ashleigh was completely out of control and totally at Gina’s mercy. When Gina stretched out between her legs, when her pelvis pressed down hard against her, Ashleigh was powerless to resist. Her hands cupped Gina’s hips, feeling the cool cotton of her panties, the only clothing they both still wore. She pulled Gina hard against her, her moan swallowed by Gina’s mouth.
She wanted more. So much more. She didn’t care that her parents were only two doors down. She would simply die if she didn’t have more. She tore her mouth away, struggling to draw breath.
“Touch me,” she whispered. “I want you to touch me.”
It wasn’t a request and Gina—thankfully—didn’t take it as one. Her hand slipped inside her panties, Ashleigh too aroused to care about the outcome. She was shocked by how wet she was, shocked by how badly she wanted Gina’s touch.
But Gina paused, her fingers dangerously close as she rested her forehead against Ashleigh’s, their breathing labored, the sound loud in the small bedroom.
“Ashleigh, are you sure?”
No, she wasn’t sure. She wasn’t sure of anything. But at this moment, right now, she was sure she wanted Gina to touch her. And if she touched her, yes, she knew what would happen. She wasn’t that naïve.
Yet she didn’t speak. She pulled Gina’s mouth to hers, their kisses slower now, lingering, making her want even more. “I’m sure,” she finally said, her lips still pressed against Gina’s. She was surprised to feel Gina’s hand tremble. Gina seemed so in control, so sure of herself.
“Are you a virgin?” Gina whispered.
“Yes.” Then, “Are you?”
“Yes.” Gina dipped her head again, her lips barely touching Ashleigh’s. “I’ve never done this. I don’t have to...to go inside,” she said, her tongue wetting Ashleigh’s lips. “I can just do this,” she said as her fingers finally moved, sliding int
o the wet crevice between her legs, touching her most sensitive part.
“God...Gina,” she said, her hips jerking, feeling Gina’s fingers as they moved across her swollen flesh. Ashleigh had never had an orgasm. She’d masturbated, trying so hard but it always eluded her. She knew tonight she’d finally know what it felt like as her thighs parted, giving Gina more room. She couldn’t believe the intense pleasure she was experiencing. She had nothing to compare it to. She was panting, struggling to breathe, and totally out of control, giving herself completely to Gina, letting her do as she wished—her mouth at her breast, her hand between her legs. Ashleigh felt a pressure build from deep within, growing powerful, pulsing through her. She felt the tightening of her muscles, felt her body contracting. It was exactly like she’d read in romance books—a giant wave, growing stronger, rushing in, threatening to swallow her, then tossing her up, falling endlessly as her body exploded.
She would have screamed, she tried to scream her pleasure, but Gina’s mouth was there, stifling the sound, Gina’s fingers still resting between her thighs. Ashleigh pulled Gina tight against her, their small breasts smashing together. She was trembling now, uncontrollably, and Gina gathered her close, her mouth moving softly across her cheek, kisses soothing her, hands rubbing, calming.
Ashleigh wasn’t certain she could speak, and even then she didn’t know what she’d say. At least she wasn’t crying. Or worse, freaking out and hysterical. She’d just had her first sexual experience, her first orgasm. And it was with another girl.
She relaxed. Yes, it was with another girl. A girl whose mouth was nibbling at her neck, whose fingers were lightly trailing across her body, whose weight still rested between her thighs. And it felt...wonderful.
“I want to touch you that way,” she whispered, finally finding her voice. “Do you want that?”
Gina rolled over, taking Ashleigh with her, reversing their positions. Ashleigh found herself on top of Gina, slipping between Gina’s thighs as her legs parted. She felt Gina’s wetness against her belly, evidence of how aroused she was. It was at that very moment—lying between her legs—that Ashleigh knew she was falling in love. Falling in love with another girl. She was consumed with a need to give pleasure to Gina, a need to touch her, to know all of her. The feeling was so powerful, it was frightening.