by Bec Botefuhr
“What do we do?” I ask, panicked.
“We draw him back out to the water.”
“How?”
“With you.”
I don’t understand. “What, why?”
“He is looking for you, or a way to get me out. If you are with me, he can’t find it. I am going to get word somehow that we are out on the water, with the treasure. I can’t risk the rest of your family.”
“Lilly?”
“I am sending her back to the island.”
“That’s not fair, she doesn’t want to go.”
“We will stay here with her Jax, in palace walls she will be safe.” Layla says.
“I don’t know.”
“I will get Steffan to put a guard on every entrance and one by her side. Jax, he isn’t after her, he is after the treasure, and if he knows we have it, he won’t come here.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Ok, give me a minute. I need to call Rust. Get Jack, and Mack, we will need them both. Pack your bags, we are ending this. Are you ready to go back on the ship?”
I shrug. “I don’t believe I get a choice.”
“There is something you need to do before you come.”
“What?”
“Touch that treasure.”
I blink; he wants me to touch the treasure that has caused pain for him and his crew.
“Why?”
“You know why, it gives you immortality. I won’t put you in danger without it.”
I sigh. “I will think about it, don’t push Jax.”
He nods. “Alright, go and let your dad know and I will be back in a minute.”
“So much for a nice night…” I mumble.
Jax grips my chin. “Mate this is our lives, there is plenty of time for nice nights.”
“Ok Jax.” I sigh once more.
“Don’t, don’t give me that little disappointed sigh. I have a Damn pirate trying to kill everything I love, and you are sighing at me.”
“Why is he trying to kill us?”
“God Jade, I don’t have time for your fuckin questions.”
“Well, I need to know if I am going out there with you.”
He throws his hands in the air.
“I don’t have time for this. You either want your memories back, or you don’t. Make up your God Damned mind. You can’t keep asking for every Damn thing, but saying you don’t want them back. If you want to know, get them back, if you don’t then stop asking stupid questions and wasting my time.” He hisses, then turns and storms off.
“Jax…” I call, but he doesn’t turn back.
I stand for a long moment, pondering his words. A moment ago, I didn’t want my memories back, I never really thought about why. Why don’t I want to know? Why did I block them in the first place? Is it fear, or did it just get too much? I will never know those answers without them, and I will forever rely on other people. I turn to PJ, and he frowns.
“I want them back PJ, all of them.”
“Jade, that isn’t wise. A minute ago you didn’t.”
“A minute ago I didn’t need them, I am going out onto a ship with my husband to kill a man I don’t remember a Damn thing about. It is dangerous, and without my memories I am useless, I will be in his way and too demanding. It is time I learnt what I am hiding from, give them back.”
He looks over to Layla who shrugs. Then he turns to me and grips my hands, I feel the doors swinging open in my mind, and I see it all, right up until the fight with James where he tried to kill me. I crumble, falling to my knees and wailing loudly. My mother, my poor mother. All my fault. PJ drops down and soothes me, Layla wraps her arms around me, and I sob for a good hour on the ground.
“What is happening?”
I hear Jax’s voice, and I look up to meet his eyes, the crap he has had to deal with in the last few years, as well as me, and we are still so in love. I can’t fault that.
“I gave them back, she wanted them.”
“Aw shit.”
“It’s ok,” I croak. “I am ok. I have to come with you Jax, I have to make him pay for what he did to my mother.”
“Mate, it is dangerous…”
I stand and straighten my dress, raising my chin high I meet his eyes. “I am coming.”
He nods and sighs. “Ok mate, ok.”
“For what it is worth, I don’t hate you Jax, and nothing has changed for me. I have a lot of shit to work through, and memories that are painful and confusing, but I do know where I want to be.”
He softens and takes my cheek into his hand. “Sorry for before.”
“No, I needed that. I needed to know who I was, and I am glad I know now. I am glad I have it back, even though it hurts.”
“I don’t want you to continue blaming yourself for Grace’s death.”
I tense but keep my tears at bay. “I can’t change her death, but by God can I make sure it never happens to another person I love again.”
“There’s my girl.” He smiles, stroking my cheek.
“So, when do we leave?”
“A few hours, Rusty is nearly back with the ship.”
“Good, I have something I need to do while I have my strength.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Where is Mack?”
“Jade, don’t.”
“No Jax, I need to. Where is he?”
“In the pub.”
I turn on my heel and walk back to the pub, when I step in and see Mack at the bar with Jack, I walk over. He turns and smiles, and I slap him, hard. He reels back, shocked and confused.
“I know you said sorry, I know you said you didn’t mean it, and I am pretty sure I forgive you for it, but if you ever blame me for her death again, I will disown you and never, I mean never, speak to you again.”
He gapes at me, holding his cheek. “You remember?”
“PJ gave it all back to me.”
“Angel, I meant it when I said those words weren’t true. Your mom’s death isn’t on you.”
“I know that, I don’t need you to tell me that, but I do need you to be my dad and stop trying to be whatever it is you are fighting for. Just love me, the way you should and we will be fine.”
He nods and I sigh, then lean forward and kiss his cheek.
“I do love you Mack, God only knows how or why but I do.”
He gives a stiff laugh. “Love you too kiddo.”
“Good, I am glad we sorted that.”
I turn to Jack and smile. “I missed you Jack.”
He grins and hugs me. “You too angel.”
“Are you coming with us?”
“We both are.”
“Good, I better go get ready. Boy has it been a while since I went on that ship.”
“Ready to see your husband go back into pirate mode?”
I grin. “I think so.”
CHAPTER 14
We head out after a long, teary goodbye with Lilly. I vow to her, myself and the world that after this, I will never leave her again. Jax feels much the same and part of him, and I know that this will be our last journey as pirates. We set a journey and the ship glides out onto the ocean, just like the old times. When Jax settles her to a slow pace, we all settle in and wait. Ben could be tonight, tomorrow, a day, a week…none of us knew, but he would come.
I stroll down the halls of the old wooden ship and memories sink back into my mind. How I have missed the days on this big girl, the drama, the laughs, the fights. I find my old room and open the door, with a smile I sink into my old bed. It feels nice to be back. I glance towards my door and see Maddox standing against the frame. I grin and leap up, and into his arms. I haven’t seen him for ages; he has spent most of his time on the island.
“Maddox, how are you?”
“Good, how are you? Feeling better?”
“Much. I am kind of glad to be back.”
“Yeah, me too. When Rusty brought the big girl by, I thought what the heck, why not come on a journey to plug a big hole in that bastard.”
I laugh. “I think so too. How did you like the island?”
“Bit lonely, when everyone left and you all got tangled up, it got a bit dead. Your daughter kept me good company, God love her.”
“She adores you.”
“Yeah, the feeling is mutual.”
“Without you and Jack, I don’t know how I would have coped.”
“I think Jack is happy to be back with his new woman.”
“Woman?” I ask, confused.
Maddox pales. “Oh…”
“Maddox, spill.”
“The woman he met before the fire at your house. He never mentioned it; he was seeing her quite a bit.”
I think back to when Jack was with us, but I can’t recall him mentioning anything. He would have told me, he would have.
“He kept it quiet after the fire, perhaps because he didn’t want to add fuel to your fire. She is on the ship with us now, I thought he would have told you today, he came back to tell you…”
“He never told me, I can’t believe he never told me.” I whisper, tears swell under my eyelids. Jack moved on? Why the hell does that hurt so much?
“I am going to see him.”
“Now wouldn’t be good, calm down first.”
I stand and storm out, not knowing why it hurts so Damned much. I walk down to his room, knowing full well he isn’t in the dining room. I bang on the door, loudly. He opens it and is shirtless and a little flushed. I gape.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” I whisper, as a tear spills down my cheek.
He closes his eyes and opens the door, I see a young woman sitting on his bed as flushed as him. She is gorgeous, with long sandy hair and pale skin. She has big hazel eyes.
“Jade, this is Amelia.”
“Oh…”
I turn; I don’t know what else to do. My feelings make no sense to me. I hear Jack call my name, but I don’t stop. I run to Jax’s room, and bang on the door. He isn’t there. I turn and bolt back to the dining room, rushing in to see Jax sitting with a rum in hand, chatting away to his crew. He spots me and stops, then stands and comes over.
“Hey, what’s the matter?”
“Did you know?”
“Know what?”
“About Jack.”
He winces. “Yeah.”
“You didn’t tell me?”
“Until a few hours ago, you didn’t remember that he was in love with you.”
“I…”
I turn again and run back out, making it to my room only seconds before Jax. He shuts the door when he comes in and sits on the bed.
“Why does it hurt Jax?”
“Because you love him.”
I look up at him. “I have only ever wanted you, I know I love Jack too, but I have only ever wanted you. I have only ever wanted him to move on, to be happy so why does it hurt?”
“Of course it hurts. For years you have had two men who adore you, chasing you and being there for you. If he moves on, he won't be there for you like he used to and you are going to miss that, it’s not about having feelings for him Jade, it is about losing a best friend.”
I sob loudly, and Jax pulls me into his arms.
“Why aren’t you jealous?” I whimper.
“Believe me darlin, I get jealous and I would love nothing more than for you to feel nothing for Jack, but as I said once, you always have, even before we got together. I don’t have to like it a lot, but I know I can’t change it either. I know your heart lies with me, I have known that from day dot and Jack has never been a threat, but you love him too, I have learnt to live with that.”
“I just…he didn’t tell me.”
“He knew it would hurt.”
“Does he love her?”
“I think he is still just getting to know her.”
A knock on the door sounds and Jax gets up to answer it. It is Jack.
“Can I talk with her?”
“Yeah mate, don’t break her further, please.”
Jax sighs and walks out, leaving me and Jack alone. When he sits on the bed beside me, I flinch away.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how…I didn’t realize you would hurt over it.”
I glare at him. “I love you Jack, of course I would hurt!”
“I thought you just said that to make me feel better.”
I stand, shaking my head. “You think I just said that to get you back as a friend? God you fool. I love you, no, not as much as Jax and no, I would never leave him, but I love you all the same. I always have and now you have moved on, and believe me, I really am happy for you but…I am going to lose a big part of me Jack.”
“I couldn’t stay forever angel, you knew that.”
“You are my best friend, I love you with my whole heart in that way, and now…you will be gone, you will move on and fall in love and be gone…”
He stands and takes my shoulders. “I will never stop being your friend, never.”
“You say that now but when love takes over…”
“Listen to me, really listen. You were the first woman I ever fell deep, deep in love with. When that happened you took a bit of my heart and claimed it. I really like Amelia, heck I might even love her, but that part of my heart, the one you took, will never be replaced. I will be here for you, always, and I need you to believe that.”
I hiccup loudly, and he pulls me into his arms.
“I am happy for you Jack, I am.”
“I know that.”
“I want you to love, to be happy. I never wanted your heart to break for me.”
“It did break for you, but it also grew for you. You changed a lot in me angel and I will never stop being there for you.”
“I believe you.” I sniffle.
“Then please, come and meet her…I really want you to.”
I nod and wipe my tears. After a moment, I follow Jack back to his room. Amelia stands when we walk in and smiles warmly. She is gentle, it is written all over her. If she is as gentle as Jack, they will be amazing for each other.
“Amelia, this is Jade. She is my best friend.”
I smile and extend my hand. “Hi Amelia, it is so nice to meet you.”
She takes my hand and returns the smile. “I am glad to finally meet you too Jade, Jack has told me so much about you.”
“I can’t wait to hear about it. How are you feeling about being on the ship?”
“Well it was this or be without him; I decided what the heck, why not go on an adventure?”
I laugh. “Nice thinking. It is fun, and the crew is great. Have you met my husband?”
She flushes, which answers my question. “Oh Jax? Yes, he is very…nice.”
Jack snorts and shoves me with his elbow. “Nice.”
“It’s ok, he can be quite intimidating. Speaking of which, I should go and find him. Enjoy your night and take care of Jack, he is a keeper.”
She blushes. “I will, and I know.”
I hug Jack who whispers a thank you in my ear, then I leave. I head towards the dining room, needing to feel right back at home. When I walk in, I see Sam and Margy chatting. I haven’t seen Margy for a while, she comes back and forth. I bound over and hug her tightly.
“Boy am I glad you are back on this ship.” She beams.
“Surprisingly I have missed it.” I grin, sitting down and putting a foot on the small coffee table.
“We have missed you. And Jax.”
I peer over at Jax, and he winks at me, I flush.
“Yeah, he is right at home here.”
“How are you feeling love, after your accident?”
“Better now I have my memories back, it feels good you know? I think it was the best thing for me.”
“Yeah, sometimes remembering is the best thing, even if we don’t want those memories.”
I sigh. “You know I think I am dealing with things better now, kind of like I had a break to let my mind relax and now it is processing things better.”
“You had time to think about how you wo
uld feel if you got a bad memory and you likely taught yourself how to deal with that.”
I nod. “I think so.”
I look over towards the crew, excuse myself and stand. I walk over and right into Rusty’s arms. I haven’t seen him much either.
“Well hello to you too lass.”
“I think she is hugging the wrong man.” Jax laughs.
I snuggle closer. “Nah ah, I want to cuddle Rusty. I missed him.”
Rusty grins at Jax and they both laugh. Rusty stands with his arm wrapped tightly around me, and I feel an odd sense of comfort.
“How have you been little lass?”
“Not too bad, all things considered.”
“Happy to be back on the ship?”
“Mmmmm, yeah, I am.”
“Even with all us pirates?”
“All you pirates are my family Rusty, come on!”
He laughs. “Point taken. We are glad to have you back.”
“So, how are things going with finding Ben?”
“Radar isn’t picking him up, but I know he will have gotten word we are all back out on the water. We made a point of letting him know. He won’t be far off, but he will be cautious because he will think we are planning an attack.”
“Why is he coming after you guys, when he knows you are all immortal now?”
“That is why he won’t come right out and trap us; we will come up with some little sneaky trick to get us to give the treasure over.”
“Kind of like what Bill did.” I shudder, and he tightens his grip.
“We ain’t ever gonna let him near you lass.”
“Damn right we aren’t.” Jax says, meeting my eyes.
I shiver and force a smile, but I can’t deny that I am worried. Ben isn’t going to just ambush us, he knows it is too risky, he will pin point something or someone, and that is likely to be me. He will finish what his father couldn’t. He will take the one that got away. I close my eyes and then re-open them.
“Jax?”
“Yeah?”
“I want to talk with Mack about the treasure.”
“What for?”
“I just want to know all there is to know, before I make a choice.”
“Alright.”
Jax takes my hand, and I hug Rusty close a moment longer before letting go.
“Sam, is Mack in the room?” Jax asks her.