“I remember coming here.” I was so busy grinning with the joy that I didn’t notice some of the other patrons staring at me. When I did, I looked down and focused on eating my pancakes.
“We must have come to La Rosaleda on weekends,” I told Max as we walked down the sidewalk. “I remember now. I couldn’t have been very old, but I remember!”
Just the very thought that my memories could come back one by one lifted my spirits, and I couldn’t mask my grin any longer.
“I like seeing that smile. I hope I see it more often.” Max ducked into a gift shop for some gum while I made a quick call to Susannah on my cell phone.
“I’m ecstatic for you!” she said when I told her about some memories returning, the fountain, and seeing the Rose House.
I brightened at her cheery voice. She could always be depended on to noisily and giddily share in anything good that happened to me. “And how is Mary?”
“Oh, Lucy, you would not believe it. She is out in my backyard sitting in a lawn chair with Maria, who keeps bringing her flowers.”
A miracle.
“Lucy, I’m so glad I have you to share this with. You seem like a gift from God, girl!”
“I’m glad too.”
“Oh, and Lucy…”
“Yes?”
“Savor this day. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind this weekend, and I’ve been praying so hard for you. I just have this feeling that this day is going to be big.”
I felt tenderness toward Susannah. “Thank you,” I said quietly. “And thanks for praying. Between Ruby and you, I should be covered in prayer, huh? Do prayers carry through from the dead?”
I glanced over at Max, who was offering me a stick of gum and interested in what he’d just heard.
“Some people believe prayer transcends time,” Susannah said. “All I know is that God can do anything.”
“You people are either fanatics or fantastic,” I said. “I wish I had your optimism.”
“Don’t admire us. Join us.”
“We’ll see.” I laughed, knowing she was only half teasing.
We said good-bye, and I admitted to Max that I’d needed to hear Susannah’s voice because I was nervous about the day ahead.
“Don’t have doubts, Lucy. Be brave. You’ve got all the courage you’ll need.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I can’t think of a better reason than the simple fact you’re Kitty’s granddaughter.”
I smiled. Nothing could be truer. I linked my arm through his, and we walked toward the alley leading to the loft.
33
Lucy?” I was taken aback by the voice on the other end of the line.
“Kitty?” The number showing was from Dr. Larimer’s cell. “What’s wrong?”
Max and I stood outside the door we thought led up to the loft. We hadn’t tried the key yet and stood staring up at the balcony fire escape. It was exactly as Kitty had described in her story, covered with flowers in shades of orange, yellow, pink, and purple spilling through the railings. The flowers looked amazingly well-kept, and I wondered if Blake was the one keeping them looking so lush.
“I’m fine,” Kitty said, but her voice filled me with doubt. “Lucy, I am sorry. I’m so sorry for the horrid words I’ve said to you lately. I was just scared. I’m sorry for all my secrets.”
Suddenly I couldn’t think of a thing that Kitty should be sorry for. She had said nothing horrid to me, and after all she was my grandmother and a mother—the only one I had now. She could say what she felt, and what could she ever really do wrong when I knew it was from her heart? I missed Kitty, and the realization forced me to sink down to the stoop. Not having her here to do this, this reunion, filled me with a sick feeling in my gut.
“Lucy?” Her voice was worried.
“Oh, Kitty. Don’t. You should know…”
She finished the thread. “…that you are my Lucy. Nothing can be between us, right? Not really.”
I smiled to myself, wishing she wasn’t so far away. “Never, Kitty.”
“Lucy, I need to talk to you, dear. Not over the phone, but at length. I’ve kept so much of your heritage from you. I’m ready to let go.”
“Kitty,” I assured her, “I don’t care about the estate if that’s what you’re thinking—I just want my family. And you are my family.”
“Your heritage of family is exactly what I’m talking about. The Frances-DiCamillo heritage. Not the money, not the grapes, but the way of life, the family.” She paused, and then her voice came as a whisper crackling across the phone. “The love and even the faith.”
Kitty wants her faith back?
“Dear,” she said. “I want you to know about your history. Maybe you will hate the vineyard, maybe La Rosaleda is too small for you, maybe you won’t want the faith of our family, but you deserve the choice.”
“La Rosaleda is not too small for me,” I told her. “And, Kitty, I remember it. Not all of it yet, but it’s a start. I knew the roses in the square and the ducks Grandpa and I fed, and I even remember the pancakes.”
I heard a man’s voice and a shuffle. Then Matt’s voice came across the line.
“Lucy?”
“Matt! Is she okay? What are you doing with her? Is she crying?”
“Tears of joy, sweetheart. Tears of joy. No, she’s with me in my car. Where are you?”
I took a deep breath, my head spinning. Where do I begin?
“I’m sitting outside what I think is the loft.”
I heard him mumble something to Kitty, who told Matt loud and clear, “Where it all began.”
“Lucy,” Matt said, coming back on the phone. “We’ll be in La Rosaleda in two hours. Kitty asked for you not to go in yet. She needs to go in first. Can you wait that long?”
“Tell her I can wait.”
Max and I stood, and I started to hang up.
“One more thing. Kitty wants to know if the Irish restaurant is still there.”
I glanced around. “No, I see only an antique store.”
“That’s too bad.” Matt sounded truly sorry at this news.
“But there are fresh flowers growing on the balcony. Tell her.”
Max and I walked through the passageway of alley shops in La Rosaleda, and I tried to imagine Kitty and Blake walking the same steps across these old cobblestones. We passed small residential homes surrounded with flower gardens showing off fall colors of gold, orange, red, and purple; I thought about how this was where Ruby and Kitty had each learned their love of gardening. La Rosaleda was like a vast garden really. In hanging baskets, petunias still bloomed wildly in pink, white, and purple; impatiens crept beneath trees and corners of the gardens, hugging the shade and endeavoring to bloom until winter would finally force them out.
As we left the neighborhoods behind, we found ourselves walking past fields of grapes. My thoughts were gliding along those grapes, wondering if these were Frances-DiCamillo vines. I was reminded of how much Kitty had once loved the grapes and wondered how she would feel when she saw them again. She had told me that she loved seeing the seasons until it was time for harvest; I wondered if she had marked all these years away by the seasons in her mind.
We found ourselves back in front of the Frances-DiCamillo vineyard gate. I stared toward the house. I marveled again at the stately trees and manicured lawn. Did my grandfather hire help to do this, or did he care for it all himself?
“It’s hard to make out the detail from here,” Max said, “but it’s a beautiful house, isn’t it? I love the front porch.”
“What do you mean it’s hard to make out the detail?”
“It’s just so hard to make out from this distance.”
Funny, I thought, then found myself filling in the gaps for Max. “The railing is painted white, with diamond-shaped gables. The doorbell is copper and shaped like a rose. I know I can count every little petal of that rose. And the door—the big door is dark red with a stained-glass window of grapes and vi
nes in purple, red, and green. There’s a big flowerpot in the corner filled with pink impatiens. Can you see them? They’re always overflowing from that porch. The steps are painted gray with roses and grapes carved and painted along the edges, and the white columns have scenes of vineyard workers and fields carved into them. The floor of the porch is terra cotta with painted tile around the doorway and in each corner of the porch. Isn’t it beautiful?”
Max turned me toward him. “I can’t believe you got all that from that picture of you and Ruby with your grandfather. I didn’t notice all those things.”
“I didn’t either. I just remembered.”
I know who I am. “I am a DiCamillo.”
“You are one brave woman.”
I shrugged and shook my head. I didn’t think I was brave. It was Max and Susannah who had made me brave enough to go back to La Rosaleda. “It means a lot to have you here.”
“I’m glad I could be here. But as much as I love being here with you, I’m thinking that when Kitty and Dr. Larimer get here, I should leave.”
My face fell.
“Only if you think that’s okay,” he said quickly. “I just think it might be more comfortable for Kitty if she doesn’t have an audience of nonfamily observing her every move, because if you can get her to Frances-DiCamillo, it’s going to be something very private.”
I nodded, feeling disappointment but knowing that he was right. This was something Kitty and I needed to do on our own.
I leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek.
“When the semester is over, maybe we’ll all be out here to see my grandfather.” I gestured toward the gates. “Maybe he’ll cut off that chain and toss away the sign.”
Max looked in the distance, at the house. “He’s been waiting, Lucy, and I don’t think those will be the only chains tossed away today.”
Thirsty and a little tired from our brisk walk, Max and I fell into a comfortable silence again. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the possibilities, doubts, and fears.
I recalled the prayer Freda had whispered to Kitty and wondered, Could everything that has happened lately be an answer to my great-grandmother’s prayers? That was such a long time ago.
I thought of the prayer I’d said with Ruby every night. The one Kitty had tried to say with me but hadn’t known how. It had been our secret prayer, something special Ruby and I took turns praying each night. First me, then Ruby. Now I knew that Ruby had shared Max’s faith.
“Okay?” Max asked.
I opened my eyes and nodded.
I thought about Kitty’s words on the phone. Your heritage.
Max squeezed my shoulders, lending his strength to the power of my memory. I didn’t feel like saying anything at all for a while, and I knew he didn’t expect me to. I would tell him my thoughts in time.
34
We stood outside the place my grandfather had scrimped and saved to rent, and eventually bought for his beloved Kitty. But Matt and Kitty weren’t there. I was anxious to see inside this place where it all started, so I called Matt’s cell phone to see how close they were.
“They’ll be in La Rosaleda in ten minutes!” I snapped shut my cell phone.
Max gave me a quick hug. “This is more than exciting, Lucy. This is a miracle.”
“I know!”
I felt disappointment run through me when he reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys.
“I really better go.”
I groaned.
“Will you be okay?” He grasped my hand.
“I will. I’ll just sit here for a few minutes and collect my thoughts.”
“Call me if they don’t show up or something.”
“With Kitty, that could be a possibility.”
He laughed with me. “Well, bye,” he said, fumbling with his keys, dropping them on the ground between us.
He bent down to get them and as he rose, I was in his arms again. This time the kiss was filled with purpose.
He stared at me when we separated, a serious look in his eyes.
“I want to be with you. Just you.” His words came in a nervous rush, and I had to focus to make them out.
“I understand if you aren’t ready,” he said. “So just think about it.”
I laughed softly, remembering the night before.
“Your manners have greatly improved,” I teased. He attempted a laugh, but I could see the nervousness blanketing his face. “I don’t need to think about it,” I said, my words a whisper.
He gently shushed me.
“Don’t rush this. So think about it, talk it over with Kitty and Susannah if you want, and we’ll talk more this week.”
I smiled inwardly as he pulled me into his arms one more time.
After Max left, I sat back down on the porch and closed my eyes as I let the memories of visiting La Rosaleda with Ruby wash over me. I felt Ruby’s love like I hadn’t felt since the day she died. It poured around me, and I felt her hands on mine. I felt her arms wrapping around me, I heard her laughter, and I felt her soft cheek pressing up against mine. I heard her call me mija, I smelled the scent of roses as we played hide-and-seek around the Rose House, and I remembered her chastising me when I stole some grapes out of the vineyards.
My mouth still watered thinking of how sweet the grapes were. I hadn’t realized that grape juice was dribbling down my chin, and my full cheeks with puckered lips gave me away. I remembered being confused because even though I seemed to be getting in trouble, Ruby was laughing.
Memories of my grandfather were surfacing too. I couldn’t recall everything, but I remembered sitting on his lap on the front porch and watching Ruby and someone—had it been Matt?— walking hand in hand down the driveway toward the gate.
In my mind I was a little girl hiding from my grandfather among the huge barrels and tanks. And when he caught me, he’d tickled me for so long that my glad shrieks had sent one of the workers into the building to see if I was okay. He’d been so delighted by my uncontrollable laughter that he’d gone to fetch some of the other workers to come see. I remembered that as my laughter continued to erupt, everyone laughed with me. It had made it even harder to stop laughing.
There had been a lot of laughing when Ruby was in La Rosaleda, I remembered.
As memories flooded around me, I recalled how sometimes Kitty and Ruby argued.
“We’re mother and daughter,” Ruby would say, as if that explained everything.
“Dear, why the tears for your Kitty?”
I looked up and quickly brushed the tears away. Kitty was moving toward me, and I’d been so lost in my memories that I hadn’t realized she and Matt would be walking up any minute.
“Come here, dear.” I walked quickly to her and held her as tightly as I could without crushing her. I was reminded again of how thin she’d grown in the last few months from all the worry. At least she was thin for Kitty, who could never be described as skinny.
She looked radiant, and she didn’t seem to be leaning on her cane as heavily as usual. I hadn’t seen her in two days, but it was the longest I’d ever been away from her in my life, and the sight of her buoyed my grin.
“Oh, my Lucy, Kitty is here. Don’t you cry anymore.”
I stood back, and that’s when I remembered Matt. He was standing a few feet away, as if he didn’t want to be in the way.
“Thank you for bringing her.”
“Anything for you.”
I walked toward him. He pulled me into a bear hug and tousled my hair.
“What about your family?”
“My family is fine. In fact, they’re looking forward to meeting you.”
The idea made me smile. Otherwise I would be a secret from them, and I was tired of secrets.
When I turned back toward Kitty, she was staring up at the balcony.
“Your grandfather kept the flowers up.”
“He did more than that. Wait until you see the vineyard.”
She quickly turned around to face me. “
Have you been?”
“Only to the front gate, twice.”
“Well,” said Kitty in her matter-of-fact voice, “let’s see the loft.”
I helped her up to the first step, but before she did anything she paused and looked pointedly at me.
“Dear,” Kitty said, “Matthew told me about your tests.”
I glanced at him, shocked. He told her? “I’m sorry, Kitty,” I started to explain.
She jiggled the doorknob, and I remembered the key. Digging it out of my pocket and handing it to her, I tried to decide how to explain my dishonesty.
“You are a grown woman, Lucy. You can do what you want. But,” she said, turning to face both of us, “I wish I’d been more honest with you. I could have told you the truth long ago. I guess I was just being very selfish and afraid.”
She was looking at Matt, who looked confused.
“I was afraid you’d try to take her from me, and she was all I had.”
I watched Matt’s face, and a flash of what looked like pain darkened his face but left as he watched her speak in the straightforward tone I’d come to depend on with Kitty.
“I’m sorry, but I should have told you years ago.” She looked from me to Matt.
I stood gaping, suspended in the moment, as if the rest of the world was moving around me but we were all frozen in place. Any minute Kitty would say something, and whatever bound me in place at that moment would melt when she opened her mouth—and I knew I would crash down. I had no thought yet where I might land.
Matt and I both watched Kitty jam the key into the lock. She glanced back at me and smiled; then she turned the key. She lifted her proud chin. She sniffed, as if testing the air before proceeding.
“Matt is your father.”
I gasped anyway.
“Ruby made me promise not to tell,” Kitty said. “I think now that she’s gone, it’s my decision whether to continue keeping that secret, especially considering the situation we now find ourselves in.” She turned back toward her present task.
The knob gave way easily, and she pushed open the door. A firm grip on her cane with one hand and the railing with the other, she tapped up the stairs, one step at a time.
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