by Ashlee Price
“I don’t know you, now get off of me.” I pushed the man back pretty hard and waited for him to say something. He didn’t, just fell to the floor because he was too drunk to pick himself up. There was a moment where I thought about just taking all of my frustrations out on him, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be enough. He wouldn’t fight back for that long, and I wasn’t into just beating someone down. I wanted to get hit, and I wanted them to try, and then I wanted to win. That was the only way that I was going to feel better.
Johnny was looking at me, waiting for me to do what he thought I would. Instead I tipped the glass again. I needed more to drink. When I got what I wanted, I moved to the back of the bar to see if there was anyone that I could start something with. There had to be someone in here that could get my adrenaline going.
***
I waited for the office to open. I knew that Camilla’s office opened at nine and I hadn’t slept a wink. My face still hurt from the fight the night before, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I had to see Camilla, and I was afraid she wasn’t going to want to speak to me. Why hadn’t she just told me that she loved me back? Was that really so hard?
Getting the answering machine, I threw the phone to the ground and watched the pieces come apart. It wasn’t the first time that I’d done it, so I knew that it was only going to take a minute to put it back together. Why wasn’t anyone answering?
Putting it back together, I started the phone back up and pulled the short brown strand out of my mouth. I’d been chewing on it since I’d found it on my jacket. I knew that it belonged to Camilla, and in a way it made me feel closer to her.
“Dr. Loring’s office, how can I help you?”
“I need to speak to Camilla.”
“You need to speak to the doctor? May I ask who is calling?”
“No, you can’t. Just put her on the line.”
“She’s in with a client. Would you like to leave a message?”
“I know that she’s drinking coffee in her office, so put me through now.”
I was watching Camilla drink her coffee. It was what she did every morning, and it had become a routine of mine to watch her through her window. Now I wanted to be in there with her when she did it. I didn’t want to miss her as much as I did, and even though I was tired, I wouldn’t have missed seeing her for anything in the world.
The woman on the phone sounded like she wanted to say something, but she must have thought better of it because she didn’t try to argue with me. It wouldn’t have done her any good anyways. I heard the ringing going through to Camilla’s phone, and I almost melted right there when I heard her voice.
“Hello?”
“Camilla, I need to talk to you. What time can I come in?”
“I’m booked today, Zane.”
“Well, cancel your afternoon. I need to see you.” I hated to hear the desperation in my voice, but I knew that I couldn’t help it. I had to see her.
“Okay, Zane. Come on by after four. That’s when my last client will be gone.”
“I want to see you now!”
Chapter 3 – Camilla
“Zane, you have to keep your voice down. What has gotten into you?”
He seemed really upset, and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. What was going on with him? When I’d seen him yesterday, he was forceful like always, but now he seemed almost manic. The doctor side of me was concerned, while the side of me that slept with him wondered what could have changed his mood so much. Something had happened.
“I just need to see you. I wanted to call you last night, but I don’t even have your number. So I waited for the office to open. I need to see you, Camilla, and I don’t want to wait any longer. Are you alone now?”
I looked around the office. There wasn’t a soul in there, but I wasn’t prepared for Zane. I was still sore from the last time that I’d seen him, and I wasn’t too enthused about making it worse. Zane was like a strong medicine that you only needed a little bit of. I didn’t need any more of him now, and I certainly couldn’t handle him first thing in the morning. Even this evening would be a stretch for me.
“I have someone in my office now. I have a full day, and I don’t know when I’m going to be able to fit you in.”
“So you have someone in there now, or they are on their way?”
“Um, someone is here now. I really can’t talk, Zane. I’ll call you in a little while.”
I tried to hang up, but he stopped me. “I know that you’re alone, Camilla. I can see you.”
I got this eerie feeling when he said that. Where was he? Could he really see me, or was it just him trying to call my bluff? I was at a loss about what to do. I looked around nervously, like Zane was just going to pop out. When he didn’t, I wanted to know what he meant.
“What are you talking about, Zane? What do you mean you can see me? You can see me right now?” My voice was going up a couple of octaves even though I didn’t want it to. He was freaking me out. I didn’t know if this was another one of his power games, but it was one that I didn’t like.
“I’m just messing with you, Camilla. So you’re alone?”
I didn’t want to admit that I was, but I was still shaken up. I didn’t want to tell him I was alone, but I was sure that he would know it if I was lying to him. What kind of hold did he have over me? “Yes, I’m alone.”
“If you won’t see me now, touch yourself. I want to hear you.”
Now I was really starting to blush. I couldn’t believe that he was talking to me in this way, but I had a feeling that he wasn’t going to let it go. I looked around again, still expecting him to jump out at me at any moment.
“It wasn’t a request, Camilla. Now.”
There was that word again, and the tone that made me jump out of my skin. I don’t know why it was so hard to hear him like that, with the edge to his voice, but it bothered me more than I wanted to think about.
“Zane, I’m at work and it’s nine o’clock in the morning.”
“I bet you’re wet.”
“I’m not.”
“Then check.”
My hands hovered where he wanted me to touch. I didn’t have to touch myself to know that he was right. Every time he talked to me in that way, it was instant wetness. He was handling me like I was his property. I should have been offended. Why wasn’t I offended when he talked to me like that? What the hell was wrong with me that made me want him when he was like this?
“Now, Camilla, or I’ll come to your office and do it myself. You know what will happen if I do that.”
A shiver ran through my whole body and before I could think better of it, I was pulling my skirt up and moving to do what he said. I tried to tell myself that it was because I wanted to, not because he told me to.
I sighed when I made it to my final destination. I was extremely hot and wet. I wanted him badly. Before I could get myself into more trouble, I pulled my hand away.
“So?”
“What?”
“Are you wet, Camilla?”
I wanted to tell him no, to tell him that he was wrong, but I didn’t like thinking about lying to him. “Yes.”
“I want you to touch yourself, Camilla. Get your fingers all wet for me.”
Shocked by what he asked of me, I closed my eyes as my fingers moved back underneath my skirt and panties. I tried to muffle the sound of need that I felt, but it was hard. I wanted him so badly. My mind was in need of more than just a rub.
“Okay.”
“Now push your fingers inside quickly.”
My hand moved of its own accord and I gasped when I did as he said. I was sore from him the day before, and I could feel the walls closing in around my penetration. I couldn’t stop the way it felt and I wanted to explode.
“Does that feel good?”
“Mmmhmmm.”
“Do you wish it was me?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Stop.”
My eyes flew open and I pulled my ha
nd away, pouting. I didn’t want to stop. He’d gotten me all riled up, and even though I knew it was wrong, I didn’t care. I wanted him badly, and if I couldn’t have him, I was willing to settle for the pleasure of my own ministrations. But to stop wasn’t fair. When I made a sound to that effect he kind of chuckled on the phone.
“You don’t know how good you sound when you’re like this, Camilla. Taste yourself. Lick your fingers for me.”
I paused at the suggestion. I could see that my digits were in fact glistening with my juice. I’d never tasted myself before, but when he said it, I knew that I was going to. He had some hold over me. When I popped my fingers into my mouth, he made a sound on the other end like he could see and taste what I was tasting at that moment.
“Tastes good, doesn’t it?”
I didn’t answer him, but Zane continued. “Just know that I’m going to taste you this afternoon, and then I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk, Camilla.”
I nodded my head to no one in particular and tried to temper my body’s response to him. It was hard to do, but something that I knew I must.
“Don’t lie to me again, Camilla. I know everything, and next time I’ll make sure to punish you.”
I told him that I wouldn’t and heard him hang up. I was staring out the window, lost in thought, when I saw a car across the street flick its lights on and take off rather quickly. I had a sinking feeling that it was Zane. He’d been watching me the whole time. What was he doing there? How long had he been sitting there?
Sure that I was just freaking myself out, I called my assistant in and asked her about the call.
“Sorry that I sent it through, Camilla, but that man yelled at me. I figured that he was better mad on the phone than mad in here.”
“Did he say something, something threatening to you?”
“Not really. It was just the way he said everything. Was that one of your patients? Because that man was scary sounding.”
I couldn’t say one way or another, but it occurred to me that he wasn’t just a patient of mine. He was my lover as well. Zane was scary when he wanted to be, and I wasn’t the only one who saw it. I didn’t know much about that man other than what I’d learned in the last couple of months. None of it was really more than a need for him that I couldn’t deny and the fact that he’d gotten into some trouble a while back.
Now I wasn’t sure what to think, but the idea of him watching me was enough to completely creep me out. My mind was on him when my first client came in for the day. Like everything else that had been going on lately, I was just going to have to push Zane to the back of my mind. I was there to help people get better, even if I was at a loss for what to do for myself.
For the rest of the day, every time I looked out the window, I was dreading four o’clock when I was supposed to see Zane. Should I confront him with what I knew to be true? And if I did, what would be his reaction? The man’s temper was always something that I liked, how passionate he was about everything, but what I didn’t like was when that anger was pointed at me. If I came to him with what I knew, I had a feeling that I was going to get the full wrath, and I wasn’t prepared for that.
Part 5: Dylan
Dylan is falling deeper and deeper in love with Maya. Even though he knows she’s married, he can’t help it. She’s perfect, and for once he’s not thinking about the wife he lost. Life doesn’t seem to be such a mess and he finally has some hope for the future. Dylan knows that it’s all because of Maya. The only problem is that she belongs to another.
Dr. Camilla Loring is doing her best to get over her own issues while trying to help others. Dylan has been coming into her office for almost two years, since his wife died, and she notices the change in him. He’s happier than she’s seen him in a long time, and she’s curious about the change. It comes as no surprise that he’s found a new love, but she’s not ready for who it is. Maya is a familiar name from another client, and when she puts two and two together, it all starts to make sense. It’s a small world after all.
Chapter 1 – Camilla
“Are you okay, Doctor?”
“Huh? Yes, Dylan, I’m fine. Thank you for asking. We’re talking about you, though. You were telling me about a woman that you’ve started seeing? This is a big step for you.”
“I can tell that you’re thinking of something else. We don’t have to do this today if you’re sidetracked.”
He was ever so sweet, and I kind of nodded my head that I was fine. I was letting everything get to me, and I shouldn’t. My clients shouldn’t know that I was bothered. They paid for my undivided attention, but that was hard to give at the moment. When I was thinking about Zane, it was hard to concentrate. We had a meeting later in the afternoon and I was afraid of what was going to happen. I’d always known that he was delicate with his emotions, and now that I’d found out that he was taking things too far, I didn’t know how I was supposed to bring it up to him.
“You go ahead. I’m listening. Really, I am. I want to hear about this woman who’s changed your mind about love.”
Dylan smiled and sat back in the seat. Like many of the men who came to see me, Dylan hardly ever relaxed enough to really lie back, and I was happy to see that he was feeling comfortable with me now. It was what I strived for, and even if my mind was mush, I was glad that I could offer some comfort to another.
“Well, I told you that I was on that dating site.”
I nodded my head, trying to encourage him to say more. He had told me quite a bit about his love life since he started seeing me. In almost two years, it was only rather recently that he was even thinking about getting a girlfriend. Dylan had decided that he was feeling alone and he was ready to get back out there. It was a huge step that he had finally gone out on a date. I felt remiss that I didn’t know that he was falling for someone. It felt like something that I should have known.
“So tell me about her?”
“She’s perfect! Well, not perfect, but she’s perfect for me. I’ve never met anyone quite like Maya, but it isn’t all that it’s supposed to be.”
“It never is, is it?”
“No, it isn’t. She’s not really single.”
That had me sitting up in my chair. I wondered what he meant by that. The name sounded familiar to me, but I pushed those thoughts away and asked him what he meant about her not being completely single.
I could tell by his face that it wasn’t something that he wanted to talk about. I didn’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to talk about it either, but it felt like the time to press. If he couldn’t say it out loud, that most likely meant that he hadn’t explained it to himself yet either. He needed to come to grips with loving a woman that it sounded like he couldn’t have.
“Well, she’s married.”
I stopped writing notes and met his dark gaze. “Oh.” I didn’t see that one coming. Dylan had lost his wife a couple of years back, and I knew how he felt about the sanctity of marriage. The idea that he would disregard it was hard to fathom. Who had changed his mind so completely?
“I can tell that you don’t approve.”
He was right, but when I thought about it, I wasn’t one to say anything about who was with whom. When it came down to it, I was doing something morally wrong as well. While Zane wasn’t married, he was a patient, and I knew better.
“There is no judgment here, Dylan. I’m just surprised, is all. I know how you feel about marriage.”
Dylan put his hand up to his forehead and sighed loudly. “Yeah, I know. It isn’t a position that I thought I would ever find myself in, but I love Maya and I know that we were meant to be together. It sounds cliché, I know, but it’s honestly the way I feel about it. I don’t want to go back to how it was before I found her. Everything is brighter now.”
He sounded like he was head over heels in love. The woman’s name kept bugging me, and I was trying hard to remember where I’d heard it from. The connection was gone from my mind, but I was sure that I would figure it out eve
ntually.
“So tell me more about Maya. What makes her the one?”
The smile was back on his face, and while there may not have been any judgment, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret. I’d never had a man look at me in the way that Dylan did when he thought of Maya. Whoever she was, she was a very special woman to him, and I wished for once that I’d found the one as well. It sounded like it was a childish thing, but there was still the hopeless romantic side of me that wanted that kind of love.
“I don’t know how to describe her. She just… makes me feel alive.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Yes, she has the blondest hair that I’ve ever seen, bright eyes and this laugh that melts me inside.”
He looked to me to see if I was paying attention and whether he had gone too far. I wouldn’t have thought so, but it was clear that he was in love with this married woman. As his doctor, though, I worried about what would happen if it didn’t work out the way he wanted. Would he be able to deal with losing her? Dylan was doing well, but after the death of his wife, he had many obstacles to go through just to make it through the day. It was the wrong time to be getting his heart broken, and I worried for him.
“She’s married, though. Does that worry you?”
Dylan shrugged, but I could tell that he was worried about it. How could he not be? If he was so in love with this woman, the idea of her taking off must be at the forefront of his mind. I’d dated a married man before, and I would never do it again. It was not the moral aspects, although that did bother me – it was the practical ones.
When a married man was with another person, it was because he was unhappy. But it wasn’t to say that the new love would be enough. If one person wasn’t enough, I didn’t see how adding another person into the mix was going to help anything. It just didn’t make any sense to me, and I hoped that Dylan could see the truth and reality of what was most likely going to happen.