by Ashlee Price
“Yeah, I’m running late already.”
“Go. Don’t want your husband mad at you because he has to wait.”
There was bitterness in his voice that I hated to hear. “Please don’t be mad, Dylan. I’ll call you as soon as we’re done. I want to see you, be with you.”
He didn’t answer for a time, and I had to wonder what he was thinking was going to happen that night. I wanted to reassure him, but it would have just made things worse. I don’t think anything I would have said then would have helped. I knew that it was hard for him because of Tyler, but it was a huge decision. I’d made it in my mind, what I wanted to do, but there was still something holding me back. I was sure that it was just fear. I was afraid of what would happen, or maybe I was just afraid of being happy.
“I’m not mad, Maya. You told me what it was when we went out that first time. I just didn’t know that I was going to fall for you like this. It’s hard to think about you going anywhere with him.”
“I’ll call you as soon as we get out of there and I’m alone, I promise.”
“That’s all I’m going to get, so I’ll take it. I just don’t have to like it.”
“I don’t like it either.”
“Then change it, Maya.”
He hung up after he said goodbye, but he didn’t even stay on long enough for me to say it back. I could tell that he was angry. It wasn’t hard to feel it even though he was so far away. It wasn’t as easy as he was making it out to be, and I had a feeling that he knew that. That was where the frustration came from. I felt it too, but it wasn’t the right time.
The phone rang again, and I almost answered by saying his name. The split-second decision not to saved me a lot of grief, because it was my husband.
“I’m waiting out front. Are you ready?”
“No, Tyler, I’m going to be a few moments. I had a headache so I had to lie down for a while.”
There was a long sigh. I knew that it was not what he wanted to hear. Tyler hated to be late for anything when it came to his parents. He was trying to live up to impossible expectations.
“Just get down here as soon as you can. You know that he doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“Much like his son. I’ll hurry as fast as I can.”
He hung up without saying anything else. I was close to tears. I was never going to make him happy. I’d tried for so many years, and even though we didn’t share a bed together, he was still willing to keep up the charade for his parents. It made him feel like he was in control, and more than likely it was to show his father that he could be a better man. If he only realized how alike they really were.
Getting up, I moved slower than I should have. I no longer cared too much that he was waiting or that he was going to be upset. All I was thinking about was the biggest decision of my life. It had to be made soon, because this was going to be the last time that I played the dutiful wife. That part of my life was over.
Chapter 4 – Zane
“What do you mean, we can’t do this anymore? Are you talking about us being together?”
I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I’d gotten a small inkling when she’d mentioned getting rid of me as a client, but after what we’d just done? Did it really mean nothing to her? How could it not mean anything to her when I was so amazed by our lovemaking?
“Yes, Zane.”
She pulled her skirt down her long legs and I was distracted for a moment. My cock was still out and raging hard. It didn’t matter what kind of conversation we were having. That appendage was an idiot and didn’t take the hint. All it had to know was that she was right there and the smell of her need was still strong in the air. She was still wet.
“We can’t keep doing this. I don’t think that I can see you anymore as your doctor. I have several colleagues that I think would be far better suited to your individual needs. It’s my fault for letting this get out of hand, but I want to put a stop to it. I can’t keep doing this when it’s so wrong.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“What isn’t?”
“You can’t just get rid of me when you want to. I’ve bonded with you, and I’m not just your patient. How can you even think that? We’re so much more than that, Camilla. I know that you can feel it too. We’re so much more than just client and doctor.”
I was getting upset, and even though I knew that I had to keep it together, it was almost impossible to do. Why was it so hard to hold it in when it came to Camilla?
“I know that, Zane. We’re much more than that, and that’s the problem. It just isn’t right, and I can’t keep this up with a good conscience.”
“Screw your conscience, Camilla. You’re not going to push me to the side like you did Jesse.”
“How do you know about him?”
“Let’s just say that you’re not as discreet as you would like to think you are. I wonder how many other patients you’ve accidentally gotten involved with in the past? I know I’m not the only one, but I’ll be your last. I don’t care who you’ve got your eye on, you’re mine now.”
“I don’t want anyone else. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you. I knew that you were vulnerable, and I should have been your doctor, not your lover.”
I kind of grinned at her. The irony was thick, and I wished that she really knew what and who she was dealing with. She was making it out like I’d been victimized by her because she’d abused her power. Camilla was quick to forget that I was the one who’d made the first move. I was the one who’d thrown her over the desk in the first place. Maybe she needed another reminder of who I was. I didn’t need her permission.
I pushed myself into my pants. I didn’t like the idea of her being anything but acquiescent when I wanted to have sex. But she wasn’t into it at the moment, and I was okay to wait. The next time that I gave her any, it was going to be right after she begged me, and not a second before that.
“You’re going to be both, Camilla. You’re my doctor and my lover.”
“No, I won’t, Zane. I have to draw a line somewhere, and we’ve already crossed it.”
I zipped my pants up and pinned her against the desk again. The need to take her was certainly there, but I didn’t like the way she was looking at me. I wanted lust, not confusion and maybe a little fear. That was not at all what I wanted from Camilla when she looked at me.
“There are no lines with us, Camilla. We were meant to be together, and I’m not going to let anything stand in our way, not even you.”
“What are you going to do?”
The fear was back in her eyes. She couldn’t imagine how much I hated to see it. I wasn’t threatening her, but if she was going to take it like that, maybe I should. I wanted her to really understand that she didn’t have a choice. I was going to have her. She was going to be mine forever. If I had to put things into perspective for her, I had no problem doing that. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do to make her understand and accept it all. That would make both of our lives a whole lot easier.
“I’m not going to do anything as long as this stays the same.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re too smart to play stupid, Doc. As long as you keep seeing me and our sessions consist of this, everything will be fine. Life will go on the way it has, and I’ll make you come more than you thought was possible. That’s a promise, and I’ll want more, too. This once or twice a week is not at all what I want. I’m going to need it a lot more than this.”
“What happens if I don’t go along with it, Zane? Then what?”
It wasn’t an answer that I wanted to give her. Why did she have to be so hardheaded about it when I knew that her body was dying for more as we stood here and talked?
“Then I’ll tell the world what kind of a doctor you really are. You’ll lose your license and your whole life will be over.”
It summed it up real quick, but I hated to see her face fall and the wisp of a tear go to her eye. I didn’t want to make her cry, but i
t was about time that she realized what this was. This was our life, and I wasn’t going to let her ruin it with her morals and indecisiveness. I was sure enough for the both of us.
“You would really do that, Zane? You would turn me in and ruin my reputation?”
Taking her chin in my hand, I made her look at me, just so she could see that what I was saying was true. I was dead serious about it, and I wanted her to know it. “I’ll do anything to keep you, Camilla, anything. I know that you’ve heard that before, but I’m different. I’ll do whatever is necessary to keep you. There’s nothing that will keep me away from you, so just remember that. This is happening. You’re mine, whether you like it or not. If not now, you’ll eventually come to love me like I love you, and then you’ll see why it has to be this way.”
“Please, Zane.”
“Just tell me what you want, Camilla, and I’ll do it.”
Part 7: Exposed
Dr. Camilla is trying hard to hold everything in, but the blackmail by her patient and lover is enough to send her over the edge. She can’t take it anymore and she finally lets it all out. It’s like a weight off of her shoulders – but the listening ear is not who she expected.
Tyler is strong, and he sees that she’s bothered. He pushes her to tell him, and because she really wants to get it off her chest, she does. Camilla just didn’t realize how good it was going to feel and how sweet Tyler was going to be. He cradles her in his arms to make her feel better and leans in for a kiss. Then her world turns even further upside down.
Chapter 1 – Camilla
“So what’s going on with you lately? You aren’t yourself, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you ignore a guy like that giving you the eye.”
I looked up to the guy she was talking about and I wasn’t impressed. Nothing impressed me anymore. Men were more trouble than they were worth. There was either no passion and just a friendship or something like what I had going on with Zane. We didn’t say much to each other, but the passion was there. In his case, there was far too much passion, and as soon as he wasn’t touching me, I could see how messed up it all was.
“I’m not looking.”
“So who are you dating?”
I wanted to tell her about Zane. I wanted to tell someone everything that was going on, what was said, but then I would show the dirt on my own hands. He was a patient and he was off limits. The fact that he was stalking me and was now making my life very uncomfortable was just a testament to why I shouldn’t mess with my patients in the first place. I should have learned my lesson.
“I’m not dating anyone.”
“So why are you not worried about the hot guy at nine o’clock, then?”
She was looking at him, and I was sure that it was because she wanted to go over there and see if he was looking at her. I wasn’t interested in anything, knowing that I couldn’t even deal with the relationship that I was in.
“I’m just not. Why don’t you go over there and see if he wants to buy you a drink?”
“It isn’t about that.”
I smiled at her. It was cute that she was trying to play it off. “It’s fine, really. I’m just going to sit here and nurse this drink. I’m not going anywhere.”
She looked unsure, but I was just happy that the concern for me was gone. I didn’t like having to lie to her, but I knew what she would say and I didn’t want to hear it. I knew that it was wrong. I didn’t need someone else telling me so.
Watching her walk up to the table that she’d been trying to get me to pay attention to, I couldn’t help but see the slight look that came my way. He was interested in me, but I felt nothing. After I figured out a way to get rid of Zane, I wasn’t too sure that I was going to be jumping into anything for a while. Love and the like always seemed to get me in trouble. For a girl that had loved love, I wasn’t sure that I was choosing the best approach to sanity. I didn’t feel very sane.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
I looked up to see the man who had been giving me the eye. When I saw Carol, she was talking to another guy. Her interests had changed so quickly! Why couldn’t Zane get sick of me in the same way? It would make my life so much easier if he fell for another woman and didn’t think that we were meant to be together.
Carol came back after a time and I rebuffed a few more guys. My polite ‘no thank you’ was not taken the best way a couple of times, but I was used to the anger that could result. I knew that it was just a way for them to displace the rejection, but I was tired and ready to go home. When she told me that she was staying with Thomas, I just kind of gave her a look. Who was I to judge, right?
“If you’re sure you’re going to be okay, I’m going to head on home.”
“You aren’t going to stay and dance?”
Shaking my head, I told her that I was tired and I had a long day ahead of me.
“Okay, Camilla, but we’re going to talk about what’s going on with you tomorrow.”
“Fine, and then you can tell me how it goes with Tom.”
She had the decency to blush and the confidence to not disagree with what I said. We both knew what she was going to be doing tonight, but for the first time in a long time, I did not feel an ounce of envy for her. I’d had enough of romance for a while.
***
“You look distracted today, Doc.”
“Why does everyone keep telling me that?”
“Because you are. What’s on your mind?”
“That’s what I just asked you.”
“And I told you, but I would bet you another lunch that you don’t even remember what I said less than five minutes ago. If I were less of a man, I would get a little irritated that I couldn’t keep your attention.”
“You can’t have everyone’s attention.”
“No, but the one that I pay a couple hundred an hour for, I think I should.”
His tone wasn’t snippy, but his comment got me back to reality. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I don’t know where my mind is lately. I’m listening. Please tell me again, and this time I promise that you’ll have my full attention.”
“I would have thought that I was more memorable than that, Doc. I’ve never had a complaint before.”
“Well, I’m sure that if you did get one, you wouldn’t hear it that way.”
I didn’t know why I was mentally sparring with Tyler. He was the wrong one to do it with, and more than that, he was one of the patients that I actually liked to see. What was wrong with me? Why was I pushing him away? I knew I was doing it as I was doing it, and it bothered me that I couldn’t seem to stop.
“You’re right, Doc. If I did hear it, I wouldn’t really hear it. I’m working on hearing what’s said and not what I want. You’ve made me think of what I’m doing more. But something is on your mind, and you’re no good to me this way. What’s going on with you lately? The last couple of weeks you’ve been different. You know that you can talk to me, right?”
I wished that it was true. Sometimes I felt like I had no one to talk to and I was just going deeper and deeper into trouble with Zane. I was in way over my head, but I wasn’t sure what I could do to fix the situation. Talking about it didn’t seem to be the answer.
“I don’t think that talking about it is going to help much.”
“That’s pretty rich coming from someone who does what you do for a living.”
He had me there, and I pressed my lips together to stop myself from saying something that I was going to regret. I wanted to tell him that it was different. I was there to help them see what they already knew. Me, I had no clue how to handle this situation.
“Maybe some things are just too big.”
He shook his head. “Nothing is too big.”
I didn’t agree with him. It was easy to say that when he didn’t know what I was going through. I was sure if he knew, he wouldn’t look at me the same, but at least he wouldn’t think that it was no big deal. My problem was not something that could be talked through.
“This is
too big, Tyler, even for someone like me.”
Chapter 2 – Tyler
“Try me.”
She was looking distraught, and I don’t know why, but there was an urge inside of me to go to her, hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. That’s what she needed, by the looks of things. She just needed someone to hear her out and help her see that everything wasn’t as bad as it felt. I wanted to be that person for her, although I couldn’t remember a time that I’d wanted to do that for anyone else.
“I couldn’t, really, Tyler.”
“It’s my hour. That’s what you’re always telling me, and I’m more than willing to give it up. I want to hear how you’re doing, Camilla.”
I’d never called her by her first name before and it felt a little strange. I liked that it was more intimate, but I wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
The title that I gave her seemed to help her to open up. No longer was I her patient, I was her friend. That was what I wanted. Well, I wanted to be more than her friend, but I would settle for less to get in the door. It wasn’t the first time that I’d thought of Camilla in more than a doctor sort of way. She was too beautiful to be just that to me.
“Okay, Tyler. I’m going to tell you something that I haven’t ever told anyone.”
“Are you talking about that patient that you were seeing?”
Her face screwed up like she’d forgotten that she’d told me about it. “Yeah, it’s about him.”
“So did you break up with him? When we were talking in the car, you told me about him stalking you.”
“Well, I’m not one hundred percent sure, or I wasn’t then.”
“And now you are.”
Camilla nodded and put her head down. I didn’t know if it was because she couldn’t meet my gaze, but I had a feeling that it was about more than what she was saying.
“Yes, he’s stalking me, watching me right now, most likely. It’s really creeping me out.”
“So why don’t you just break up with him? I thought that was what you were planning on doing?”