by Ashlee Price
“Why do you look mad all of a sudden?”
I looked to Tyler and saw that he was studying me. I hated that my face wasn’t better at hiding my emotions. It was usually rather easy to see what I felt. The thought of Ivy was the reason for my frown, but I didn’t want to tell him that. I didn’t want to admit to such envious thoughts. They seemed so petty at a time like this.
“Nothing. Just not looking forward to any of this.”
I stopped him before he launched into the fact that I didn’t have to go. There was no obligation and all of that. “I’m going for you, Tyler. I wouldn’t miss it. When you’re on that stand, I want you to look out and know that I’m there for you.”
He laced his fingers in mine and I leaned back on the soft leather of the seat. It had been far too long since we were at peace, and I was ready for the day to be over. I would tell my clients that closure was very important, and I knew that it was. I wanted to hear the man found guilty and justice to be served for all of those lives that were lost. More than that, though, I just wanted to move on with my life.
When we got there the courthouse loomed in front of me and the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was back. I felt like I was going to be sick, and after we stopped, I rushed out of the car to get some fresh air. I don’t know why, but I was incredibly nauseous. Tyler thought that it was because of the hearing, but I knew that it wasn’t that. I just felt off.
“Let’s just get through security and then I’m going to go freshen up.”
He nodded his head and looked at me with worry. I wasn’t going to faint right then and there, but he looked at me like I was. I tried to tell him not to worry, but Tyler was worse at it than I was. When it came to me, he was far more uptight than he let on. He wanted everything to be perfect when life wasn’t perfect.
“It’s fine, really, Tyler. It might have been that new smoothie, I don’t know.”
He questioned my answer with a brow arch, but I ignored him. Putting my purse and keys in the small plastic container, I smiled at the police officer who scanned my things. I was fine, and after today, I was going to be better. Well, maybe not fine, but I was on my way there. All I had to do was get through the day.
Chapter 2 – Tyler
I waited for Camilla by the bathrooms. She was in there quite a while and she looked worse for wear when she finally opened the door and came out.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
She smiled and gave me the brave face she thought I wanted to see. I could tell that there was something wrong, but Camilla was still close with her feelings. For someone who got other people to bare their soul to her, she wasn’t all that forthcoming.
“Stop asking me that or I’m going to think that you’re the one who doesn’t want to be here. There are other witnesses, you know.”
That was not it at all. I had no qualms about going in there and pointing to the man who’d murdered all of those people in the mall. I’d gotten a good look at him, and I knew that my words were going to carry weight. There was nowhere else that I would want to be but right where I was.
“No, this has to be done.”
“Well, I’m here with you. Sometimes I wonder if we would have met if this hadn’t happened.”
“Do you think it was fate?”
Camilla grinned and leaned her head against my shoulder as we walked up the stairs to the courtroom. “I don’t know what it was, but I’m glad for it.”
I was too, and I enjoyed our moments together before we had to go into the courtroom. It wasn’t going to be a time for that, so I took the chance now to her feverishly to remind her how much I loved her. Maybe it was to remind me of what I had when I was with her. She completed me, and just the fact that she was willing to be here for me was enough to tell me what was truly in her heart.
When we pushed the door to move in, I saw several people that I remembered from that day, as well as the next few days when I’d had to go down to the police station for questioning. I stopped and said hello to a few while Camilla went to speak to the shopkeeper’s family. She’d apparently known her better than I’d thought. I waited for her to finish visiting before finding a seat near the front.
The judge wasn’t there yet and there was a buzz of conversation all around. Camilla sat down, but her eyes were taking everything in. I wondered what she was thinking with such a serious look on her face. How many of the people in the room were her old patients? She’d nodded to a few, but it wasn’t something that would have been broadcast. Camilla was on vacation from her practice, but her secretive ways would never stop. That was just part of who she was.
I tried to focus on everyone there, the ones that had lived. There had been a memorial a couple of weeks after the shooting for all of the families, and there I’d met most of the people involved. They were now in the room together and there was a lot of anxiety in the air. It felt like a reunion of sorts. Too many of the people there with me had been affected by that day. It was the final chapter in a horrid book that most would want to forget. It was hard not to notice that the families of the deceased greatly outnumbered the survivors.
The man who’d changed so many lives was seen being brought in by one of the bailiffs. He looked smaller without the gun in his hand, and months of prison had changed the look in his eyes. There was no remorse for his deeds, but I was positive that he regretted what he’d done because of where he was now. The man looked beaten, and I tried hard not to feel bad for him. It was easy to hate him as a monster, but it was just a man in front of me.
I watched some of the expressions on the other people’s faces. It was clear to anyone who was paying attention that no one there was happy to see him. He’d ruined so many lives, and there was still not a clear reason. He refused to give it to the police, so everyone had to wonder why he’d done it. As he looked at each person, making sure to make eye contact like he didn’t want to forget a thing, I was convinced that there was no reason. He did it because he just wanted to. How could there be any kind of reason for such madness?
The judge came out and everyone sat down after him. The room became silent. It felt eerie in a way. I sat down next to Camilla and sought out her hand, thinking that she needed some comfort. I was ready for my name to be called and my chance to take the stand. It would end it, and I could finally put my energy into something else.
***
It wasn’t as dramatic as the TV shows that Camilla liked to watch at night, but there was a satisfaction in pointing out the person who’d caused so much destruction. He stared at me with his dead eyes, and I could tell that there was nothing there. If everything went as it should, the sentencing wouldn’t be too long from now, but the fact was that the man was already gone. He’d been seen by several citizens and law enforcement officers, and there was no way he was going to get off. I’d done my part, and as we left, the weight that I hadn’t even known was there was lifted.
“Why don’t we get some lunch and then get back to the house for a while?”
The silkiness of her voice piqued my interest. It sounded so smooth, and I could tell that there was something naughty on her mind. That was how Camilla was. She would get hot in a moment, and when she was, she was scorching hot. I hoped that she was thinking along the same lines I was. That quickly my brain was on one track and hoping not to be derailed.
“What did you have in mind?”
Camilla shrugged and sent me the answer through her eyes. I melted right there, and I knew it was going to be a long lunch. I would have rather skipped the food altogether.
“I don’t know. I’m sure we’ll think of something. We can’t mess around too long, though. The wedding starts at four and I don’t want to be late.”
I should have been bothered about the wedding. If it made any sense I would have been, but I wasn’t. I was happy for the bride and groom. It was going to be a little weird to see my wife marrying someone else, but she was not the one I was supposed to be with.
“We won’t
be late. Why don’t we get something to go so we’ll have a little more time?”
“You’re so impatient, Tyler. You can’t wait a little while longer?”
“No.” Not with the look in her eyes that she had then. I couldn’t wait a moment longer.
We started in the car.
Chapter 3 – Maya
“Tyler is here with Camilla.”
“Good. I was hoping that I would see him before the wedding. Will you see if he’ll come here?”
My cousin Angie was aghast at the idea. I wasn’t too worried about what she thought. It was already strange to have my ex-husband at my wedding, but nothing about this was normal. I’d found Dylan on a website and Tyler was now engaged to his therapist. It was all a mess, and I just wanted to make sure that everything with Tyler was okay. It had been a while since we’d talked, and seeing him was just another step of closure.
When he came in, I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotions that came over me. It was like I was seeing him on the day we’d married so long ago. It was only five years, but it seemed like a lifetime now. His hair was shorter than he usually wore it, and the twinkle in his eyes that had died during our marriage was back. I hoped it was back in mine as well.
“You look good, Tyler.”
“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”
I told him that he should. He immediately apologized for not doing it straight away. I would forgive him this time. “You know you look radiant, just as you did when I was the nervous groom waiting for you.”
“You were never the nervous type. I think you were on the phone right up until the music started. There was a deal that you were trying to do, remember?”
His head went down, and when he pulled it back up he really looked at me. “Don’t take any crap from this one, Maya. You deserve all the happiness that’s possible. You deserved better.”
“Not better, just different. Thank you for coming. I know that it’s going to be a little unconventional, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even though it didn’t work out for us, I’ll always love you. You know that, right?”
Tyler told me that he did and that he felt the same way. It was not the stereotype that I had of exes, but it was so much better than the average setup.
I hugged him and then kissed his cheek. It was my way of saying goodbye to him. Although I still felt affection for him, it was nothing to how I felt about Dylan. When I saw Tyler leaving, I was ready to go down the aisle to the man waiting for me. However unorthodox our method of meeting was, I knew that it had always been Dylan that I was supposed to be with. I needed his gentle touch. I was more sensitive than most, and I’d only wilted under such a heavy hand. Dylan let me be what I wanted to be and gave me space when I needed it.
Looking in the mirror one last time, even I could see the change. It was the first time in a long time that I was happy. I fixed the few strands of hair that had fallen into my face from the up-do and took a deep breath. I was about to change my life, but this time for the best.
***
“You didn’t tell me that Tyler was going to be here.”
“We’re dancing and you want to talk about Tyler?”
“I just didn’t know he was going to be here.”
“I thought I did tell you. Are you mad?”
“Surprised, but not mad. Did you know about him and Camilla?”
I had to laugh. There had been something bothering him the whole way through the ceremony and the cake cutting. People were all around so I couldn’t really ask him, but now with everyone watching, we could speak a little while we had our first dance.
“Yeah, for a while. They’re engaged. I thought you knew?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Well, you’ve been busy lately and the wedding was a lot of work.”
“Was it worth it?”
He looked anxious, and I pulled him in for a reassuring kiss. “It was definitely worth it. I’ve never been so happy in my life.”
The kiss was returned, and when the music stopped, we didn’t. It caused a stir among the guests, but I didn’t care. I felt like I was the happiest person in the world and I would burst with it all any minute.
I had to pull away and guide him back to our seats. He was just going to have to wait. My face was red from the encounter and from the knowledge of what was going to come next. I was starting to look around and wonder how rude it would be considered if I found a way to get out of there sooner rather than later.
Tyler and Camilla caught my eye on the dance floor, and for a moment, one silly moment, I felt jealousy. It wasn’t something that I felt because I wanted him, but he had a look in his eyes that I’d never gotten to see from him. He’d never looked at me with such love and devotion. I’d waited years to see it, and in a way I hated to see him that way with another. I was bubbling with emotions and I had to turn my attention elsewhere.
When I finally caught my husband’s eyes, they the same look in them, and I knew what I’d known all along. I was supposed to be with Dylan. It was that simple.
“What?”
“Nothing, baby, I just love you.”
Chapter 4 – Camilla
“We can’t just go. It would be rude. You were the one who wanted to come, so no, we’re not leaving after the cake is cut. You have to dance and stay and mingle a while.”
Tyler wasn’t having any of it. I’d left him wanting more after lunch on purpose, but he was too wound up to be put off much longer. I didn’t know how close he was to throwing me over his shoulder and hauling me away, but I wouldn’t have minded if he did. There was something about a wedding that made me a little hot for him. It must have been all of the love in the air. It was hard to dismiss how much I could feel it. I wanted to be with the one that I loved now.
“I don’t want to mingle. I don’t care what anyone else has to say. I just want to be with you. Are you really going to deny me that?”
Shaking my head, I told him that he was going to survive a little longer without anything like that. Tyler’s eyes darkened, and I looked away so as to not give away how hot it made me. I knew that look very well, and right now it was something I was going to try to ignore.
“Why does it always have to be right now?”
The flame leaped in his eyes and his grin widened. “Right now?”
I shook my head again, sure that he just wasn’t hearing the words that were coming out of my mouth. How else could he get them all so wrong?
“I didn’t mean right now, Tyler. We’re in the middle of a wedding with a lot of people. We can stay a little while longer and then bow out when no one will notice.”
Tyler looked around like he was considering my idea. I thought it was a good one. I was not about to jump out of my skin like he was. I wanted him, but I also knew that we had a lifetime to be together. I didn’t feel the rush and worry that I did with most relationships. There was a sense of knowing that it was all going to be okay. Tyler wasn’t going anywhere and neither was I. We were meant to be together.
“Baby. You know that’s not what I meant.”
He wasn’t listening. “No one is paying attention now. The open bar is doing the trick. I’m sure there has to be a place in here somewhere where we won’t get noticed. This place is huge.”
Tyler had my hand and was pulling me towards the back of the reception hall. I didn’t know what was beyond the swinging doors, but I didn’t think that we were supposed to be there. It didn’t feel right, but there was no stopping Tyler when he got something in his mind. I was just glad that it was me that made him so adamant and impatient.
“Tyler, come on. Let’s go home if you really can’t wait.”
“I don’t even want to wait that long.”
“We could do it in the car again.”
He chuckled, and there was a moment when he looked back that I thought he was going to go for the bait. There were so many things wrong with us doing it here. This was the wedding of one of my patients and his ex-wife. No
ne of it screamed out that it was a good place to get it on. Somehow Tyler wasn’t the least bit bothered by any of that.
“No, I still have a cramp in my leg from that. Besides, don’t you want to do it somewhere new?”
We’d talked about our fantasies, and he knew that I liked new places. “This is not really what I meant, though, Tyler. I meant… I don’t know.”
“Come on, you were the one that told me that you like doing it in public places. There are people all around, and I know that you’re getting hot just thinking about it.”
I wasn’t going to deny it, because that would have been futile too. He knew me too well. The only thing I could do was go with it. I let him drag me up some stairs to a part of the building that didn’t look to be in use. It was a good thing, too, because the first room that he found, Tyler was pulling me into it and kissing me before the door was shut. He wasn’t kidding about not being able to wait.
“Baby, slow down.”
“I can’t, Camilla. I need you now.”
There was no telling what was going on in his head, but it was clear that he needed me. I wasn’t sure why, but I wasn’t going to ask. I moved back a little and started to unzip my dress. That wasn’t fast enough for him, and before I could stop him, he started pulling me down to the carpeted floor. The room was almost empty, save for a few boxes, and I closed my eyes when his hand ripped my panties to the side. I couldn’t focus on anything else anyway.
He was out, and I was not prepared. Tyler was always so ready. He pushed in as my weight helped him along. I heard a cry and I knew that it was from my own lips, but it sounded so far away. I couldn’t control my noise as he moved up from beneath me.