“I want to remember you like this forever. I want to sketch an entire series of you carrying my babies. You’re magnificent.”
Her face grows red at my comment. She tilts her face down, looking away from me. I smile at her timidity. A shy, embarrassed Maggie is not someone you see very often.
Maggie’s eyes stay trained on my hands as I work. Every few minutes she catches my eyes and that redness returns to her cheeks. I’m not sure what it’s about, but it’s cute as hell.
“Done,” I exhale, running my hand through my hair. “Wanna see it?” I ask her, but she shakes her head.
“I want you to get in bed with me.”
Her voice is soft and sleepy. There’s no hint of an underlying agenda. She gets herself comfortable in the bed while I get my clothes off and slip in bed next to her. We take our positions from the other night, the night she told me about her father. I’m not quite ready to sleep yet.
“This was the best first date I’ve ever had, Magpie.”
She smiles. “I like to think of that first doctor’s appointment as our first date.”
A loud laugh escapes me. She’s right. That was the first time Maggie and I ever actually sat together in public and had a conversation, learning pertinent information about one another.
That was also the very first time I felt the slightest twinge of her nestling into my soul. Now it’s a feeling much stronger than a twinge, and I feel it more and more with every passing day.
Her voice pulls me from my thoughts. “I’m pretty sure tonight’s the only first date you’ve ever had. You don’t seem like the type to date. That’s not your style, Mr. O’Leary.”
I smile at her accuracy. I never dated. I would meet a girl at the shop or at a bar, buy her a drink or get high with her, and then take her somewhere to fuck. Blunt, but true.
“Well, Ms. Brennan, I think it’s safe to assume that you weren’t much of a dater, either.”
“You assume correctly. But, based on the boring shit I hear other girls talking about, this first date kicked ass.” Her voice gets quiet. “Thank you for sharing a piece of you with me tonight.”
“I want you to know me, just like I want to know every bit of you.” She smiles, so I keep going. “I don’t know what’s happening here, but I like it, and I want more of it. It’s thrilling, but terrifying all at once. I’ve never had something so good and I’m so damn scared I’m gonna fuck it up. I’m gonna try my hardest not to, but I don’t know what I’m doing. And I’m not just talking about you, either. What about when our babies get here?”
Maggie’s eyes are tearing up, but she’s smiling at me. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing either. We’re flying blind here, Finn, but it’ll be alright. We have too much at stake not to make this work. I’m scared, too. But I want this. I want you and I want this family. We’ll figure this out.”
I kiss the hell out of her, trying to pour everything I want to say but can’t into that kiss, hoping she gets the message.
“I’m so damn lucky,” I tell her when I find the strength to pull away from her.
“Don’t forget it, Irish.”
I don’t know when I turned into such a girl, but leaving Maggie this morning was so fucking hard. I wanted to wake her up and bury myself balls deep in her, especially when I woke up with her ass pushed up against me, but I practiced a little self-control. It’s my morning to open the shop, so even if I wouldn’t have made that damn rule about no sex, I couldn’t have done what I wanted, anyway.
“Fuck,” I hiss under my breath as Ink Addiction comes into my line of sight.
What the hell is she doing here?
I push the keys in the lock, ignoring her. When I feel her hand on my back, I flinch.
“If you’re here for ink, I’m all booked this morning. You’ll have to call and make an appointment with someone else.”
“Is that any way to greet your ex?” Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.
How was I ever with her?
“What do you want, Stephanie? I need to get the shop ready.”
“I can help you while we talk,” she says, following me in.
“You don’t work here anymore. How about you just tell me what you want and then leave.”
I busy myself at the computer so she’ll get the hint. She’s never been too bright though. Her mind wasn’t really the reason I was with her.
“Are you still renting out your loft?” she asks, leaning on the counter, her ripped up shirt baring her tits.
“Not to you.”
“Come on, Finn. I need somewhere to stay and it’s perfect. I’ll pay whatever you want. You know I can afford it.”
Of course she can. Daddy’s money can buy her anything she wants. Why the fuck does she want the loft? Is it just to piss him off? I look at her. The ink, the clothes, the hair, it’s all to piss him off. I’m sure he knows the loft is mine, and he can’t stand me. Daddy Dearest and I didn’t meet under the best of circumstances. I didn’t know he was coming over when I was high and in the middle of screwing his daughter’s brains out. I sure as fuck didn’t know he had a key to her apartment.
“Daddy footin’ the bill for this?”
She nods.
“Rent just doubled.” Not that it will make a difference to that asshole, but he left me with a sore jaw and a black eye for two weeks.
She smiles. “Oh, I guess you need the money now. I hear congratulations are in order. Which one of your little whores did you finally manage to impregnate?”
I grab her arm and the smile drops from her face. I wish my hand was wrapped around her skinny little pencil neck instead.
“Don’t say another fucking word about Maggie. If you ever even so much as mention her name, you’ll be out of that loft and on your ass.”
Shock passes over her face. “Maggie? That blonde from the pub? The one that came to your apartment that morning?”
I just nod. I don’t want to talk to her about Maggie. Stephanie knew that I wasn’t always faithful. Hell, neither was she. She always had a problem with Maggie, though.
“Last I heard she wouldn’t even speak to you. I thought that was done.”
“Well, it’s not. We’re living together and trying to make this work.”
She looks like I just hit her. “Seriously? You think you can settle down and be a family man? Change your life, just like that? How long do you think that’s gonna last, Finn?”
“Deal’s off. Get out.” I start walking her to the door.
She puts her hands up. “Okay, Okay. I’m sorry. I’m sure it’ll all work out. Please, Finn? I really need somewhere to stay.”
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but no one else will pay double. That’s just insane. If I can stand to deal with her long enough to get the rent once a month, I’ll be that much closer to buying the shop. “Fine. I’ll email you everything later today. Now get out so I can open the shop.”
She goes through the door but stops halfway through. Pausing and looking back, she actually has a look of sincerity on her face, which is quite a rarity.
“Finn, I know you. I know how you are, what you like, what you crave. Is this enough?”
Stephanie knows the Finn that I was before Maggie Brennan came storming into my life. If she were talking about any other woman, she would be right. But Maggie’s not just any woman.
“Trust me. It’s more than enough.”
Chapter Seventeen
“This is silly.”
“Hush, woman, and let me read to my children.”
We are in my bed, in the position that has come to be my favorite out of all the positions me and Finn have ever found ourselves in. This is the time I look most forward to all day long. I count down the minutes until this can happen every night.
Tonight, when Finn came to me, he had a battered green book in hand. The book that is currently propped up against my nineteen week belly. My giggles are making it bounce, much to Finn’s annoyance.
“This is a little
morbid for the children, don’t you think?”
“This is my people’s history, Magpie. My Da read to me from this book whenever he was home with me at bedtime. I’ll do the same for my own children. Now let me read to them.”
I shut my mouth and listen to Finn’s beautiful voice read to our babies, his brogue growing thick as he reads the unfamiliar Irish story. I listen to a tale of fairy kings and caves, ugly daughters and slayings. A bit morose, but I guess that’s how these Irish Fairy tales are. He could be reading names from the phone book and I wouldn’t care. Just having him in this bed with me is enough.
As his thick brogue lulls me to sleep he tries to stop reading, but the babies give a little tumble. My eyes pop open and I gasp, startling him.
“Keep reading, Irish. They actually like this stuff.”
His huge smile is beautiful. “I wish I could feel them. I mean, they’re the size of bananas. I should be able to feel them.” He moves the book, dropping a few tiny kisses along my belly.
“You will soon.”
“We need to talk about your appointment that’s in a few days,” he says, getting comfortable beside me. I guess story time is over for the evening.
“What’s to talk about? It’s just an appointment.”
He shakes his head. “This is a big one, Magpie. We’re halfway done. They’ll let us know the sex of the babies if we want to know. What do you think?”
I’m not sure. It would be nice to actually call them something besides ‘the babies’, but I kind of want to do what Finn wants.
“What do you want to do?” I ask.
“How often in life are we surprised with good stuff? We usually only get hit with the bad. How cool would it be to find out what these little babies are right as they’re being born? It would be the ultimate good surprise. There are so few of those.”
“I know, but what about getting ready? We are complete and total slackers, Finn. We’ve got nothing ready. It will just be that much harder not knowing what we’re having.”
“You just buy gender neutral stuff. I’ve read all about it. It’s not that difficult. We can find out if you want, but I think that not knowing would make it so much better.”
“We can wait.”
“Perfect. Now kiss me goodnight so we can get some sleep.”
He scoots closer to me, ready for his kiss. I get as close as my belly will allow and let my hand wander down his tight stomach. I grab the waistband of his boxers, letting my fingertips graze his head.
“Maybe I don’t want to just kiss you goodnight, Irish. Maybe I want more.”
Finn’s killing me with this no sex business. I’m dying. These past few weeks have been wonderful with him. We spend as much time as we can together, but I need more. This has been the longest foreplay of my life.
“Not yet, Magpie. A kiss is all you’re getting from me. Be good, or I’m going in my own bed.” He pulls my hand away and starts to sit up.
“Alright, I’ll be good, just stay in here. I don’t sleep very good when you’re not with me.”
He grins and kisses me slowly. I swear I’m so wound up I could come just from his kisses. He barely pulls his face back before he starts speaking, his words leaving his mouth and settling in my chest.
“Good. I don’t want you to be able to do anything without me. I want to make it hard to even breathe without me.”
I sigh in his mouth. He doesn’t even know how close he is to making that a reality.
We arrive at the hospital for our appointment, but aren’t going to see Dr. Redmond today. Since I’m having twins, we have to start seeing a Perinatologist with Maternal-Fetal Medicine to make sure that the babies are growing and developing on track and that I’m not experiencing any problems. We still have to see Dr. Redmond through the rest of the pregnancy, and she will be the one to deliver the babies. This is just an added bonus.
Finn and I sit in the waiting room, listening to the other mothers openly sharing stories of infertility, in-vitro, surrogates, triples, quadruplets, and other mind-blowing pregnancy related topics. I’m hit with some pangs of guilt over the circumstances of my not so planned pregnancy. As these women share their heartbreaking stories, I decide to keep mine to myself.
When we are called to the back, the nurse explains that we will have an ultrasound at each visit. This will be Dr. Newman’s way of monitoring the babies. He will keep in close communication with Dr. Redmond and update her with any and all developments. How often I come will depend on what my scans show. She gets me ready for my ultrasound and dims the lights. Unlike at Dr. Redmond’s office, a huge screen is on the wall in front of me. I won’t have to peek on a tiny screen attached to her machine.
“Do the two of you want to know the sex of the babies?”
“No,” says Finn.
At the same time, I answer, “Not today.”
He just looks at me.
“What? I like to keep my options open.”
The nurse laughs. “I’ll steer clear of that area, then.”
Finn pulls his chair close to me and we watch in amazement as our babies appear on the screen.
They are beautiful. Their little bodies are huddled together, and one has its arm around the other. I shake my head in disbelief. I mean, I know that I have two living things inside of me, but to see them like this, it’s unreal.
The nurse is taking measurements and clicking away at her machine. Finn and I sit in silence. We are in awe at the sight before us. The room is silent, except for the whooshing of their tiny heart beats. They are sleeping, but as the nurse is pushing on me with the wand, the babies start moving and stretching. Baby A, as she’s labeled it, starts kicking and rolling, spinning away from the other baby.
“Is that what you’ve been feeling?” Finn asks me.
I laugh and nod. I guess Baby A is the one causing all the ruckus in there. Baby B seems a little more laid back with its movements.
“Alright,” she tells us. “Stay put. I’m going to go grab Dr. Newman. He’ll want to take a look, so don’t clean your belly off just yet.”
She hands us a folder full of pictures and leaves the room. These are much bigger than the ones we have at home already.
Finn is flipping through the images of the babies. “We’re gonna need a bigger fridge.”
“We don’t have to put every single one up there. Maybe you should send one to Móraí.”
He smiles at me and kisses my temple. “She will love it.”
The door opens and the doctor walks in. He’s older, much older, and dressed in a suit and bow tie. I love it. I instantly think about my Paw Paw.
“Maggie, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Dr. Newman.”
We shake hands, and then he and Finn do the same.
“Let’s see what’s going on in here,” he says, sitting down in the chair on the opposite side from Finn and placing the wand on my stomach.
“Everything is measuring right on track with your due date. The organs are developing appropriately, and there are no red flags. The babies seem to be sharing a placenta. This cannot be determined with 100% accuracy, though. Sometimes there are two placentas that fuse together during the early stages of the pregnancy. We won’t be able to verify until they are born, but if they are sharing one placenta, then these kiddos are identical twins. MCDA twins, or Monochromatic diamniotic, the most common type of identical twin.”
“What about PKD? Her sister and mom have it. Can the babies get it? Can you tell if their kidneys look okay?”
I look to Finn, shocked that he remembered that about my family, grateful that he considered asking about it. The thought never crossed my mind.
“It can’t skip a generation. A parent has to have the genetic marker in order for it to be passed down to a child. They should be fine in the kidney department,” Dr. Newman says with a smile, reassuring a worried Finn. He looks back to me.
“How have you been feeling?”
“Fine, now that Dr. Redmond gave me something to he
lp with the nausea and vomiting.”
Finn exhales loudly and glares at me. “This is why I can’t miss any of you appointments, Maggie.” He looks back at Dr. Newman and uses a much calmer tone. “She’s been getting headaches, mostly in the afternoons. She’s tired all the time, even on the days she doesn’t work. It’s worse when she has to work. I can hardly get her out of bed in the morning if she’s worked a shift the night before. I know it comes with the territory, but I don’t think it’s normal.”
Dr. Newman looks through my chart for a minute before addressing me.
“How has your blood pressure been?”
“I haven’t taken it since I went in for my checkup last month, but it was fine. Should I be taking it on my own? Dr. Redmond never said anything.”
“Not necessarily, but headaches can be a sign of high blood pressure. Let me go grab a cuff and we’ll see what it looks like.”
Dr. Newman leaves the room and I start cleaning the ultrasound goo off my belly. Finn grabs the cloth from me and takes over the job, his touch gentle and light. Just as he’s pulling my shirt down over my belly, the doctor comes back into the exam room.
“Alright, Maggie, let’s see what that blood pressure looks like. I want to take it laying down and sitting up to see the difference.”
He’s old school, using a cuff and stethoscope. He takes a reading on my right arm and makes a face. He moves the cuff to the left arm and repeats his routine.
Yep, still making a face.
“Let’s sit you up and do this again.”
Lather, rinse, repeat.
“I don’t like those faces you’re making, Dr. Newman.”
“I don’t like your blood pressure, Maggie,” he says, rolling his chair over to the counter and throwing down his cuff. He moves to the edge of the table I’m sitting on and pulls the leg of my pants up, pushing on my ankles and shins.
“Have you had any swelling?”
I give him my best ‘Is that a joke?’ look.
“Have you had more swelling than normal?”
“Yes,” Finn tells him. “After work it’s especially bad.”
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