Oh God, please help me. I start to pray.
CALM DOWN.
Find the surface.
I start to kick with my legs and push my arms against the water with as much force as I can muster, hoping this will stop me from tumbling, long enough to get upright. Crazy thoughts are racing through my head. I'm not ready to die... I haven't even kissed a boy yet. When I finally feel as though I may be making headway I feel an ungodly pain first in my shoulder and then my head. Black spots begin to take over my vision and I know that this is it...
I'm. Going. To. Drown.
When I come to, I'm being carried in someone's arms before being gently placed on the sand. I'm in excruciating pain. My whole body hurts and I can’t help but cry out from the agony of it. It feels as though all the skin on my right leg has been violently scraped away and for all I know it has. I feel large, gentle hands on both sides of my face before I hear Cory's voice.
"Hailey, wake up honey. Let me see those beautiful eyes."
I moan at the amount of effort it takes to get my eyes to cooperate.
He rubs my cheek and kisses my forehead.
"Come on Hailey, I know you can do it. Open up your eyes for me."
My lids slowly rise and I meet the concerned, amber colored gaze of Cory's. He smiles at me.
"Thank God, you just scared the bejesus out of me. Okay, let's see if we can figure out what’s injured. Can you move your arms and legs?"
"Yeah, I think so." My voice comes out scratchy.
"Where are you hurting?"
I groan from the pain. "Everywhere.” It feels like a truck ran me over. I'm in so much pain I can't even tell what parts hurt and which ones don't.
"Okay, let's try sitting you up. Take hold of my hand and I will pull you up."
I do as he says and gasp from the stabbing sensation in my head and upper back. He slides his other arm around me so I'm being loosely cradled by him.
"I need to carry you to your house. You have a decent sized gash on the back of your shoulder and I think you have a head wound also. Let's get you home to your mom and see what she thinks.”
He carefully picks me up, supporting my back and legs before starting towards my house. As we reach the dunes we meet up with Jake, on his way back to the beach.
"Hailey, what happened? Is she okay?" Jake is visibly shaken at seeing me a bloody mess, in Cory's arms.
"She took a header off her surfboard but let's get her inside with your mom first before I go into detail."
Jake rushes ahead and opens the door to our house shouting out.
“Mom, come quick!"
My mom hurries down the stairs and sees Cory cautiously placing me on the couch. My blood is all over his chest and I'm trying not to freak out at the sight of it. The fact that I've lost all that blood is making me feel shaky and nauseous.
"Oh Hailey, what happened?"
I don't say anything; I just grit my teeth from the unbearable pain as tears trail down my cheeks.
"She was trying to catch a really big wave and it threw her head first into the water. As soon as she fell I knew it was bad so I ran into the ocean and swam out to her as fast as I could. By the time I got there she had been under the water for about thirty seconds and she was pretty beaten up. I pulled her to shore and she was unconscious for less than a minute, but she was breathing fine. She's got a nasty gash on the back of her right shoulder and I think she has one somewhere on her scalp too."
"Okay honey," my mom says as she looks me over. "I need to take you to the hospital. You need some stitches and you may have a concussion. Let's go get you checked out. Jake, can you find my purse for me please and grab me a couple of towels from the bathroom closet? Cory, can you please carry Hailey out to my car?"
"Sure," he says as he scoops me up like I weigh nothing. I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head against his chest. My body hurts so much I can't even enjoy being in his arms. He effortlessly carries me to my mom's minivan. Jake places a towel on the seat, under me before Cory puts me down. My mom folds up the other towel and places it against my shoulder where I'm still bleeding.
"Lean back against the seat. It will hold the towel in place and keep pressure on your wound. Your head isn't bleeding anymore so I'm not going to mess with that."
Jake comes over as my mom steps away from me.
"Good luck Munchkin. Everything will be fine."
He leans over and kisses me on my cheek before taking a step back, making room for Cory to say goodbye to me. He leans down and kisses me on the top of my head.
"Hang in there. You will feel better soon."
I don't reply to any of the things people are saying to me. I think I may have gone into a bit of shock as a way for my body to cope with the all-encompassing pain.
Cory shuts my door and walks over to stand with Jake at the edge of the driveway. My mom starts the car and quickly gets us on our way to the hospital. I don't really remember much of the ride there. What I do remember and will never be able to forget is the excruciating pain of the emergency room docs cleaning out all my scrapes and cuts. I thought they would never finish flushing all the sand and debris out of them. I was horrified when I first saw that I'm covered from thigh to ankle on my right side with what looks similar to road rash, that was caused from being drug against the rocks. Thankfully, I was wearing my rash guard top or I'm sure it would have been much worse. As it is, I will be scarred for life.
The doctor in the emergency room decides to admit me for observation and watch me for twenty-four hours because of my concussion. I also ended up needing eight stitches behind my right ear and twenty stitches on the back of my shoulder. All of my cuts and scrapes have been cleaned and bandaged and I am now in my own room. The pain medication they gave me worked wonders, but I feel so loopy and out of it.
"I'm going to run home honey, but I will be back later. Do you want me to bring you anything?"
"Dinner, please. I don't want to eat hospital food." I say groggily.
My mom leans over and kisses my cheek before leaving.
I'm sitting up in my bed eating the pizza and fries my mom picked up for me. Thankfully she went home and grabbed me some clean clothes and my cell phone. Marcus came to the hospital with her to keep me company for the night so she won’t have to stay. She doesn't want to leave Jake and Cory unsupervised. My brother has been known on more than one occasion, to throw a spur of the moment party, at our beach house. My dad is still at our regular home in Lexham. I spoke to him earlier on the phone. He wanted to make sure I was fine without him being here. He had to work this week at his law firm in Boston and since there’s really no reason for him to rush back here, I told him to stay put.
I wake to the feeling of someone softly stroking my head. It feels so soothing and relaxing I don't want to open my eyes. I just want to lay here and savor it. I catch the scent of Marcus' soap and it relaxes me, knowing he is here, with me. Before I know it, I drift off to sleep once again.
I’m gasping for air and my heart is beating out of my chest. My breathing is shallow and fast, making me feel so panicked that I can't seem to find a way to slow it down. It feels like no matter how hard I try; I can’t seem to take in enough air. My chest is getting tighter and tighter.
"Hails, you're okay. I'm right here," Marcus wakes me from the nightmare I’m in the middle of. He quietly reassures me I’m safe, before pulling me into his arms. I start sobbing uncontrollably and hang on to him with what little strength I have. He sits beside me on the bed and pulls me into his lap, one arm wrapped around me and the other gently cradling my head.
"I was so scared Marcus. I thought I was gonna die. I can't stop thinking about what happened. It's stuck on a loop in my mind and I can't seem to stop it. In my dream, it was like it was happening all over again." I pull away from him to wipe my tears, but he beats me to it; swiping under my eyes with his thumbs. He's holding my face in his hands, his concerned gaze intently locked on mine.
"I wish I could m
ake it all go away, Hails."
He pulls me back in his arms, shifting his weight so he is lying on his right side and I'm on my left. I nuzzle my face in the fabric of his shirt and breathe in his familiar, clean scent. It instantly calms me and I feel my anxiety fading away. He kisses me on the crown of my head and begins stroking my hair.
"Relax baby, I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."
I snuggle up against his chest and before I drift to sleep, once again, I think about the fact that he just called me baby. I'm going to have to think about that some more when I'm not feeling like shit. I fall asleep feeling safe and secure in his arms.
The Doctor on duty discharges me late the next morning with a list of instructions. I have a concussion so I'm not supposed to do any sports or physical activities for two weeks and I'm not allowed to surf for four to six weeks. I'm going to go batshit crazy! I may have to sneak some waves in when my parents aren't around. Also on my list of instructions is to avoid getting my stitches wet. My mom said she would wrap my bandages with saran wrap and tape it all up good. I can't wait to take a shower. My hair is still full of sand and my skin feels unnaturally stiff and dry from the salt water.
Marcus slept in my bed with me for most of the night. He got the boot from one of the nurses when she came in to take my temperature and blood pressure. From that point on he slept in the recliner at my bedside and held my hand. He has been amazingly sweet and I couldn't ask for more from him. I have the greatest best friend ever.
When we arrive at my house Marcus helps me get out of the car and walks me upstairs, to my bathroom so I can finally get clean. Between the beach funk and hospital germs, I feel dirtier than I've ever been.
"Are you okay by yourself, until your mom comes up?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, no dizziness or nausea."
"I have to go home for now. I need to get my run in and do some weight training, but I promise I will be back later."
I stand on my tiptoes and reach my arms up to hug him. We stand there holding onto one another for a minute or so.
"Thank you for all that you've done Marcus. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Hails, no need to thank me. I will always be here for you. There's nowhere else I would rather be."
I slept most of the afternoon away on the cushioned wicker couch on our three season porch. Who knew almost drowning was so exhausting? It's not the most comfortable piece of furniture, but you can't beat the sea breeze that comes in through the multiple windows that wrap around the front of the room. At some point, Cory came in and sat in my favorite chair to read. I'm not sure how long he was there prior to me waking up, but I'd been meaning to talk to him. I gingerly sit up, slowly taking stock of how my injuries are feeling. My pain level isn't too bad right now. I'm sure it had something to do with the pain meds the doctor prescribed for me. I took one and shortly after I was out like a light.
"Hey, Cory." I interrupt him. "Sorry to bother you while you're reading, but I just wanted to thank you for all that you did for me yesterday. If you hadn't been there, I’m sure I would have drowned."
“Hailey, you don't need to thank me. I'm just grateful I was there."
"Me too Cory, if you weren't, I probably wouldn't be here now." I start to tear up as the gravity of the situation hits me. He must see me struggling to hold back the tears because he stands up, pulling me off the couch and into his arms. I start to cry in earnest and he rubs my back making soothing sounds.
"You're okay. There's nothing for you to worry about now."
I push myself away from him, embarrassed that I'm crying in front of him and wipe my eyes with the back of my hands.
"It's all still a little too fresh in my mind. I know it will be easier with time. Anyway thanks again." I say before I walk away from him and out of the room.
Marcus comes over to watch a movie with me that night. He lets me choose this time and I pick Never Been Kissed. Bold choice, right? I chose it because I love it and really for no other reason. This could spark some interesting conversation between us, though.
We are on my bed, side by side on our stomachs, with a bowl of popcorn between us when Marcus says, "come on back here with me. My neck is getting sore from lying like this."
He moves up to the top of my bed, propping up some pillows behind him.
"Get up here Hails," he says, patting his muscular chest.
I groan as I lift myself up. My limbs are stiff from lying in one position for too long and I feel like an old grandma as I tentatively crawl towards him. I groan out loud in relief as I settle in his arms and snuggle into his chest.
"Ya know, you make a wonderful pillow," I announce making Marcus chuckle.
"I like being your pillow."
"If we keep this up your chest may ruin all other pillows for me. I will be looking at a life of insomnia and permanent bags under my eyes."
Marcus laughs and rubs my arm. We settle in to watch the rest of the movie.
"God, I hope I won't be that old when I finally get kissed. As it is, I'm the only one of all of my friends that hasn't already."
"You haven't been kissed Hails?"
"I thought you knew that. Can I ask you something and you have to promise you will be honest with me?"
"Of course."
"Am I unkissable?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I guess I would like to know if I'm unattractive to boys. Sometimes I feel like no guy is ever going to like me as anything but a friend. All my girlfriends have been dating people and it just feels like I'm always the single friend tagging along." I turn so I'm lying with my chin propped on my hands on top of his chest.
"Hailey, I hate that you are thinking all these things that aren't true. You are beautiful, Hails. So freaking beautiful that you make my heart hurt just by looking at you each day. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't kissed anyone yet either."
"You haven't? How is that even possible? I mean you're on the football team and you’re cute." I can feel my face blushing at what I just shared.
"There hasn't been anyone else I've wanted to kiss. I think a person's first kiss should be special so I was kind of hoping that maybe we could have our first kisses with each other? What do you think?" To say I'm shocked would be a huge understatement. I can't seem to form a coherent thought or get any words to come out of my mouth so I just nod my head in agreement. Marcus rolls me over to my back and hovers over my upper body. He gently runs his index finger back and forth on my bottom lip before circling my whole mouth.
"I've wanted to kiss these lips for a long time." I can’t believe this is happening, right now.
He slides one hand into the side of my hair, softly caressing my scalp and holding my head in place. His face moves slowly down towards mine and I can't take my eyes off of his mouth as it descends lower and lower. I nervously lick my lips and hope that I don't screw this up. The initial contact is so light I barely feel it. It’s a soft meeting of our lips... like a quiet whisper or a gentle sigh. The next time, our lips press together more forcefully and I feel the contact all the way to my toes. Marcus leans my head to the side and angles his in the other direction bringing our mouths together in the best of ways. His tongue enters my mouth and sensually caresses mine making me grip the back of his shoulders in surprise. My arms pull him closer to me as I enjoy rubbing my tongue against his. We seem to have this kissing thing down. Both of us are breathing heavy when we finally part.
"Wow, why did we wait so long to do that?” He says looking pleased with himself.
"I have no idea, but we have a lot of wasted time to make up for," I say, pulling him down towards me.
Chapter Four
February 2008
I didn't see Cory again until the following February at my sixteenth birthday party. My mom and dad decided to make an occasion out of it since "it’s a big milestone in a girl’s life" as my mom has pointed out to me on numerous occasions. They rented out a banquet room at a restaurant in Boston harbor a
nd invited about fifty guests total. Twenty or so of that number are my closest friends and the rest are family members and friends of my parents. This restaurant is one of the more popular ones and is located near where the cruise ships dock.
Marcus is coming. Squee! I'm so freaking excited to see him and introduce him to my friends, especially Shelby; my best friend from school. She has heard so much about him and vice versa. He and I haven't seen each other since the end of the summer break, although we talk or text every day. We are still best friends even though we kissed last summer. We made out a lot on the night we shared our first kiss, but other than that we managed to keep things strictly platonic for the remainder of our time at the beach. Neither one of us wanted to risk ruining our friendship.
My mom took me to the salon this afternoon to get my hair, makeup and nails done. I chose a charcoal shimmery polish for my fingernails and fuchsia for my toes. My hair is done in large, loose curls with the front twisted and clipped above my right ear with a crystal encased barrette. My turquoise dress is strapless with a tight, fitted top. The skirt is fuller and ends a couple of inches above my knees. The color of my dress really makes my eyes pop or maybe it's the copper shades of eyeshadow and loads of black mascara that are making them stand out so much.
Looking in the mirror for a last minute check I'm taken aback at how much older I look. It feels as though I'm seeing someone else's reflection staring pensively back at me. I can't get over how coltishly long my black peep toe heels make my legs look. No wonder why grown women prefer to wear heels all the time. I re-apply my bubble gum pink lip gloss and take one final glance before making my way to the party room where my parents are waiting for guests to begin arriving.
Marcus and his mom walk into the room and I let out a shriek before I go barreling towards him. He lets out a big belly laugh as he catches me in his arms. He spins us around before setting me back on my now unsteady legs. My fingers clench his biceps till the room stops spinning.
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