“Hi, I’m Sharry what can I get you, honey?” She asks, pushing her large chest forward, towards his face. I snort trying to hold in a laugh and God love him, he hasn’t taken his eyes off of me.
“What do you want Hailey,” He asks with a wink.
“I would love a margarita, on the rocks, with salt.” I smile back at him before looking more closely at our waitress. Her frosted hair is big and very teased and when I move on to checking out her face, I’m shocked at what I see. Holy shit. She has shaved her eyebrows completely off and has drawn them in with a pencil about an inch higher than God made them. She is scary skinny with a huge thigh gap and yet her chest is enormously large. Oh yeah, those are real...
“And what would you like honey?” She directs at Cory, but he’s still focused on me. I bite my lip trying to hold in my giggle but it’s futile and a tiny one slips out. He flashes me a grin before ordering his drink.
“I’ll take a rum and coke please, no lemon.”
“You got it doll,” she says, rubbing his upper arm before walking away. I try to hold it in as long as I can but I erupt into a fit of giggles and it’s only a few seconds before Cory’s laughter joins mine.
“I love your laugh. It’s so genuine and spontaneous, just like you.”
“Thanks. I’ve always been a little self-conscious about it. It’s so loud and kind of crazy sounding.” I admit. He shakes his head in disagreement before replying.
“Your laugh has always made me happy and if I’m the one to make it happen, that’s even better.” Wow, that’s so sweet and unexpected that I don’t know what to say, so I smile goofily at him. The return of our waitress breaks our intense eye contact as I watch her place our drinks down in front of us.
“Are you all set?” She asks Cory, touching his arm. He looks up at her nodding his head in an affirmative manner, before immediately looking at me once again. I stay silent till she walks away.
“How do ya like them eyebrows?” I giggle out.
“That’s some scary shit.” He jokes.
“I don’t know what’s more disturbing, her eyebrows or her enormous thigh gap? I never trust a girl with a thigh gap, they’re all nasty bitches. Let this be a lesson for you.” I say, pointing at him with my index finger.
“For me? Really? I had no idea, but I will take your word for it. Besides I’ve never really been a fan of women with thigh gaps. I tend to like curves and girls with thigh gaps usually don’t have a whole lot of those.”
“Unless you purchase them,” I say gesturing with my head towards the waitress. “I’ve never had and never will have a thigh gap, but I know how to get one. I saw a great meme about it.”
“This I’ve got to hear,” He says leaning forward on his arms in my direction.
“You find a guy you like and you put his head between your legs...instant thigh gap.” I giggle compulsively at the shocked expression on his face. He laughs along with me and I wrap my arms around my stomach.
“No more, it hurts too much.” I breathlessly say and wipe the tears from my eyes. “Your expression was priceless.” I giggle again at the thought.
“I wasn’t expecting that to come out of your mouth. You’re a wonderfully, surprising contradiction.” He tells me as he stirs his drink with the thin straw. I have no idea what he’s talking about and I’m sure my expression is reflecting it.
“You’re beautiful and feminine in appearance and anyone that knows you realizes how intelligent and thoughtful you are. At work, I see the conscientious and methodical sides of you. You come off as cool and uncaring at times, but you're anything but. You’re snarky and full of moxie and things come out of your mouth that no one would expect you to say. But it’s only the select few you allow in close enough to you, that really get to see the best of you. Underneath all the surface layers is your incredible capacity to love and to forgive. You surround the people closest to you in your love. It pours out of you, whether it’s in the form of your laughter or if it’s you actually telling someone you care about them. You make me want to be a better person Hailey and I’ve been a selfish bastard for most of my life.” I feel a tear slide down my cheek before being followed by a matching one, on the other side. I chew on my upper lip, trying not to full out ugly cry. Cory reaches over and takes my hand in both of his.
“I owe you a huge apology and I know you didn’t want to hear it a couple weeks ago when you first started working for the firm. Hell, you probably don’t want to hear it now, but I feel like if I don’t tell you at this moment, I may never get my chance.” He squeezes my hand and looks at me as if he is waiting for my permission to continue. I nod once, letting him know it’s okay.
“I’m not sure where to start so I guess I’ll just begin by saying that I started having feelings for you when you were too young for me to be feeling that way. At first it was confusing and difficult for me to deal with because it felt wrong and inappropriate. I can’t pinpoint an exact date that things changed for me and I stopped thinking of it as wrong and I started to realize it was unavoidable. It was gradual, but you can imagine that when I kissed you on your sixteenth birthday, my intentions were definitely not pure. It was all I could do to keep it as chaste as I did. From that moment on, every time I saw you I felt this magnetic pull between us. You were with Erik so I tried to keep my distance." He shakes his head and takes a sip of his drink before continuing on.
"I hated that you were with him. I was green with jealousy because it was acceptable for you guys to be together and with an eight-year age difference between us, there was no way I could openly pursue a relationship with you. The night that you and Erik broke up and we kissed is burned into my brain for all of eternity. At that moment I knew the attraction between us wasn’t going anywhere and it freaked me out because you were still in high school and barely legal. I was concerned Jake would find out and I’d lose my best friend, not to mention your mom and dad. You know I’m not close with my family and your parents have probably had more hand in how I turned out than my own did. After we kissed on New Year's Eve, I purposely stayed away until your graduation party. I thought if I kept some distance that the connection we share, might lessen or at the very least wouldn't grow stronger.
I started dating my boss’ daughter Lulu as a favor to him. There was an event that his family had to go to and she needed an escort. I took her and we actually had a decent time. She was different than most of the girls I knew and my family was pressuring me to give a relationship a try. Jake was going out with Cindy so they were always on my case, urging me to date her. Jake seemed so happy and he’s the last guy I expected to be content in a relationship so I said what the hell and asked her out. We were never really serious, at least not in my mind. She was someone to do things with a couple times a week and to scratch an itch. I hate that I sound so callous, but I can’t make more of it than what it was for me. She had much higher hopes for us than I did. After a while, I felt like I was stuck dating her because her dad was my boss and it could get messy if I broke up with her.”
“So why did you have sex with me?” I can’t bite my tongue any longer.
“Hailey, as soon as I saw you that day I knew I was in for a boatload of trouble. You were so beautiful and so grown up, but I told myself to stay away from you because you deserved better than someone like me. You were about to head off to college and start your life and how could I expect you to miss out on all of that? I was about to turn twenty-six and we were at totally different points in our lives. You needed to live in the dorms, make friends and go to frat parties. I wanted you to have the full college experience and not just a small piece which is what would have happened if I pursued you. My biggest mistake was underestimating the power of our attraction and it made it impossible to keep my hands off of you. Every moment of our time together on the beach, is seared into my mind forever and I can’t forget it no matter how hard I try…and I’ve tried." I wipe the tears from my eyes and remind myself to breathe so I won't have a panic attack.
<
br /> “I’m so sorry I was too weak to stop it from happening. I was the adult in the situation and I needed to act like it. I should have told you about Lulu but how I felt about her paled in comparison to how I felt about you. I should have spoken to you the next morning but Lulu showed up and it threw me for a loop. I didn’t invite her, Cindy did and I didn’t want her there. I didn’t know what to say to you and I was a total coward about how I handled it all. I’m so sorry for that. You’ll never know how truly sorry I am. There hasn’t been one moment I’ve regretted having sex with you, it’s the best experience of my life. I do regret that I didn’t handle it better and you got hurt in the process. Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted to do, Hailey. Please tell me you can forgive me and we can move on from here because I’ve missed having you in my life. The past five years have been horrible without you and I know it’s my fault. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be around me. I could barely stand myself at times.” He squeezes my hand with his, lifting it to his lips and tenderly kissing my palm.
“Cory, I’ve already forgiven you,” I say through my tears. “I’d like to be friends with you again. I’ve missed you so much. You'd always been there for me and then suddenly you weren't. There was a big void without you and no one could take your place." I pause for a bit to blow my stuffy nose and Cory laughs at how loud the sound is. It provides a moment of much needed levity in this intense conversation we’re having.
"I don't regret what happened between us and though I think you could have let me down in a much better way, everything worked out for the best. I probably would have wasted all kinds of time pining away over you and hoping for the impossible. It wasn't like you would have wanted to be in a relationship with me anyway.” I take a moment to drink some of my margarita and gather my thoughts.
“And now that we are friends again, it’s like we’ve come full circle.” I smile through my tears at him.
“Hailey, I know that back then a relationship would never have worked out for us, but now I think things would be different. I don’t just want to be your friend Hailey. I want us to be together...in a relationship. I want a monogamous, committed relationship with you.” Whaaat?
“Wow, I can honestly say I never saw that coming.” I reply, my eyes wide and more than a little surprised.
“I’m totally serious Hailey. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and I would never say anything to you if I weren't absolutely sure. If you hadn’t come to work for the firm, I was going to talk to you this summer at your family’s beach house.”
“Cory, I’d just be your flavor of the month and soon someone else would catch your eye.” I smirk at him and make light of the situation as if the idea of him with someone else doesn’t bother me.
“I’m not going to want anyone else Hailey. I haven’t been with anyone else in over six months. I’ve been trying to become a better man so I’d be worthy of you. You’re it for me babe.” I’m in shock at what he’s revealed. I can’t believe he’s been abstaining from sex for so long and it’s actually really sweet and very flattering that he thinks that much of me. But how can I take the chance on him after all that happened before?
“Cory, I’m sorry, but I can’t offer you anything more than friendship. I have forgiven you for what happened, but I will never be able to forget about it. What you did changed who I am as a person and how I handle relationships. I don’t get seriously involved with anyone. What Marcus and I have is the closest I will come to being committed to someone and that’s only because I know he would die before hurting me.” Cory’s elbows are on the table and his hands are clenching his hair. It looks like he is pulling it out of his head in frustration. He lifts his head and looks in my eyes. I can see I’ve hurt his feelings, but I refuse to be anything but honest and upfront with him. If our history has taught us anything, it’s the need for honesty.
“Okay Hailey, let’s be friends for now, but I’d like to be able to spend time with you, away from the office. We don’t need to hide our friendship anymore. We’re both adults now.”
“Cory, I’d really like that. Being friends with you again makes me happy.”
“I hope I always make you happy, babe.”
Chapter Twenty- Eight
June 2015 - Cory
It’s not until now when I’m lying in bed that I’ve had time to process all that went on with Hailey and me today. I’m happy she agreed to sit down and have a drink with me and I’m so relieved that I finally got to apologize to her for what an ass I was that summer. It seems so long ago and yet now that she is officially back in my life again, it doesn’t. This time I won’t screw up. I refuse to lose her again and I will do everything within my power to prove to her that we belong together. The chemistry that we share doesn’t happen often. Maybe we have one person that we can feel that connection with, one perfect mate for us and if we don’t grab the opportunity when it presents itself, it will be gone, forever. I’m not taking any chances now that I’ve been handed another shot and I’m going balls to the wall, all the way to the finish line and taking no prisoners.
It was devastating to hear how much I hurt Hailey in the past. I know she carries emotional scars because of what I put her through and if I could go back in time and change my actions I would...in a heartbeat. I acted callously and without any thought about the probability of her suffering long-term effects from my behavior. It’s going to take a lot of time and patience to make her realize that I’m someone she can trust. She can lean on my broad shoulders whenever she needs to and I will always be there for her. When I picture my future, she’s all I can see and I’m going to hold on to that vision until it becomes a reality. She may be afraid of commitment and of making herself vulnerable, but I’m going to show her that I’m worth it. I’m going to own her heart like she owns mine and all the tiny cracks that keep it from being whole, the ones that I had a hand in putting there... I’m going to help her heal them.
I close my eyes and relax into my pillow waiting for sleep to take me into my dreams where she and I are happy together. I can’t help the silly smile on my face as I think about how much I’m looking forward to seeing her in the morning. I feel like tomorrow is the first day, of the rest of my life.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
June 2015 - Hailey
To say that today didn’t go how I pictured it would be a gross understatement. I was surprised when Cory asked if I wanted to get a drink on the way back from the courthouse. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to clear the air, especially since I was just thinking about rekindling our friendship. For once fate smiled down on me and we were able to talk it all out and hopefully now we can move forward. Now that I said my peace, I feel a sense of lightness that I didn’t have before. I feel good about the things that Cory said to me and his reasons for his hurtful actions are valid. It doesn’t excuse what he did, but I feel much better for knowing where his head was at during that time.
I was being totally honest with him when I said that he left a void in my life that I didn’t give anyone else a chance to fill, mostly because no one else could fill his shoes. I never really let myself think about how much I missed him until today when we were having our talk. I think I was in denial and I didn’t want to give him that much power over me. By pretending he didn’t exist and not thinking about our history, I didn’t have to admit to myself how much I loved him. There’s a part of me that will always love Cory and he will always own a part of my heart. I won’t be handing over any more pieces to him, though. I barely made it through last time and if I gave him another chance and it ended badly, there wouldn’t be any coming back from it. Cory is one of those guys that leaves devastation in his wake. He doesn’t mean to, it’s just the way it is. That’s why I have to keep him at a distance. I need to make sure I keep boundaries firmly in place and not let him cross them. It’s not going to be easy considering our powerful attraction, but it’s necessary. He can say he wants more with me and that may be true, but that won’t chang
e the fact that his version of a relationship is much different than mine.
I’m curious to see how tomorrow will go. Will he keep up all of the sexual innuendos or will he tone them down? I wonder if I will feel different when we are together. Maybe now that we have worked it all out and I have made a definitive decision to be friends only, our attraction will finally simmer down. But do I really want it to?
Chapter Thirty
June 2015 - Marcus
Next week was supposed to be my annual trip to California to visit my dad and his wife, Mary. This is the first time I haven’t wanted to go and it’s because Hailey can’t go with me. She has her internship and I know she takes it very seriously. She is conscientious by nature and super responsible. Both of those traits I really admire in her. Today I got an unwanted phone call from my dad, asking me to head out there right away. One of his employees had a heart attack and will be out of work indefinitely. Dad wants me to take over his position until he is well enough to come back. This could potentially mean being out there for most of the summer and being away from Hailey. I close my eyes for a moment, as I do my best to stifle the panic that engulfs me when I think of not seeing her for weeks. I can’t make it through a single day without multiple texts and on the nights when we sleep in our own rooms, I lay awake for hours, unable to sleep without her right next to me. How can I possibly survive for weeks without her?
This is probably the worst possible timing for me to be leaving for any length of time with everything that has been going on at her work. I feel selfish even saying this because my dad’s employee didn’t plan on having a heart attack and what he and his family are going through is much worse in the grand scheme of things. I worry that with me temporarily out of the picture, Cory will try to slither his way back into Hailey’s life. He is a snake after all and that’s what snakes do best. I know there’s something between them, even if she doesn’t want to tell me. She knows it will hurt me and I know she loves me enough to want to protect my feelings. She doesn’t need to tell me anything, I already know, just by watching her reactions when we talk about him. I can read her like a book and in this case, I wish I couldn’t. Ignorance is bliss after all.
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