by Karen Kirst
Shifting on her cushioned chair, she balanced her small plate on her knees. If she’d been at June’s she would’ve used her tummy as a makeshift shelf.
“Seeing as how Alexander and I have both lost spouses, we’ve decided to proceed slowly.”
“But don’t you want to secure your baby’s future?” Laura turned to Margaret, who was seated beside her. “You’re leaving the day after Thanksgiving, right? You should persuade them to wed while you’re here.”
“I’ve tried, but they’re both in possession of extremely hard heads,” she joked.
An awkward silence descended. Caroline chose that moment to change the subject. Relieved, Ellie excused herself. She carried her dishes to the kitchen and relayed her thanks to the cook. The older woman caught her admiring the side yard with its majestic trees and urged her to explore if she wished.
Ellie exited the house and, bypassing the stables, settled on a stone bench. Margaret found her there a quarter of an hour later.
“I saw you from the window,” she said, hands folded at her waist. “I apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“You didn’t.” She shrugged. “An interrogation is the least I deserve for deceiving everyone.”
“May I join you?”
Ellie scooted over to make room for her.
She sat and adjusted her skirts. “I wish your engagement was real.”
I do, too. “I overheard Alex and you talking that first day. I know how much he loved Sarah.”
“Yes, he did. We all loved her. But he’s different with you.” Angling toward her, Margaret said, “Sarah was sweet-natured but clingy. She lacked confidence and constantly looked to Alex to confirm her worth. I hate to say it, but I believe it would’ve caused problems later on.” She tucked an errant lock behind her ear. “You’re not like that. Sure, he’s protective of you, but he clearly admires you. You’re wise and brave, and I’m convinced you’d be a wonderful wife for my brother.”
Her baby kicked and flipped inside her womb. The sensation was strange yet reassuring. Ellie focused on the fact she’d soon have a child to lavish with love who would one day love her in return. Dwelling on what could be with Alexander only brought her sorrow.
“Do you love him?” Margaret asked outright.
Ellie’s heart skipped a beat. Rising from the bench, she gestured to the house. “We should rejoin the group. They’ll be wondering where we disappeared to.”
Margaret trailed after her. “You do, don’t you?”
Whatever emotions were reflected on her face, they must’ve told quite a story.
Triumph surged in the other woman’s eyes. “You have my word I won’t say anything.”
Ellie nodded. “I do.”
She found herself enveloped in a fierce hug. “I wish I could stay longer. I’ve relished our time together.” Hands on Ellie’s shoulders, she straightened. “I wish you could attend my wedding. You’d get to meet Lowell and Thomas. And Rosa would adore you. Most of all, I wish you’d tell Alex how you feel.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
At her crestfallen expression, Ellie said, “You have to understand, Margaret, my marriage was a huge failure. I can’t go through that again. I couldn’t bear to disappoint Alexander.”
Margaret lowered her arms to her sides. “I admit I don’t know the details of your marriage. However, I do know that it takes both spouses to make it work. You strike me as someone who’s not a quitter. I believe you gave your very best effort.”
“I did,” she whispered. “And I still failed. That’s why I won’t tell Alex and neither will you.”
Brow furrowing, Margaret started to speak.
“You promised.”
“I won’t break my promise. But—”
“I’m tired, Margaret. Let’s go in for a bit longer and then make our excuses.”
“All right.”
It was clear she was unhappy. She wasn’t the only one.
* * *
Ellie hadn’t been alone with Alexander for days. Ever since the wedding, he’d kept his distance. He’d been polite and courteous, as always, but the warmth she’d grown accustomed to was missing. She didn’t like the return of his guarded nature, but it was for the best.
Anxiously anticipating his and Margaret’s arrival—he’d been careful to use his sister as a buffer on their walks to and from the café—she brushed her hair until it shone, arranged it into a twist and tucked a bird-shaped pewter hairpin above her right ear. Settling her gray shawl over her eggplant-hued blouse, she went in search of June. As expected, her spry hostess was at the stove preparing enough bacon and eggs to feed a family of ten.
“Good morning,” Ellie greeted. “That smells delicious. Hopefully Snowbell is in an agreeable mood and the milking won’t take long.”
Lighting a lamp and snatching the pail from the peg, Ellie emerged into the quiet, pre-sunrise darkness. There was a chill in the air that hadn’t been present the week before. A shrill bird’s cry echoed off the mountainside. She entered the barn and hung the lamp from a protruding nail.
“Snowbell, I’m sorry I’m late—”
Ellie halted, her muscles seizing with apprehension. “What are you doing here?”
Nadine loomed in the middle of the aisle, blocking the entrance to the cow’s stall. “I’m not here to argue.” She steepled her hands beneath her chin. “I just want to talk to you.”
Holding the pail in front of her stomach, Ellie took a step back. “You could’ve announced yourself at the house instead of hiding out here.”
“You’re right.” She nodded vigorously, her lank hair slipping forward over her shoulder. “I wasn’t sure you’d admit me, so I decided to wait for you.”
She narrowed her gaze, trying to project a toughness she didn’t feel. “How do you know I’m the one who milks Snowbell? Have you been watching the house? Tracking my actions?”
Nadine didn’t answer her question. Instead, she inched closer, her gaze sliding to Ellie’s enlarged middle again and again. There was a gleam of something in the depths, something unsettling.
“If you agree to come home, I promise things will be different.” Waving her fingers at the animals inhabiting the barn, she said, “You won’t have to do any chores. I’ll do it all without complaint.”
Ellie swallowed a retort. Her former sister-in-law hated to break a sweat.
“I don’t think you’d enjoy that for very long. Besides, the cove’s no longer my home.” If it ever was. “My place is here with June.” At Nadine’s clear confusion, she added, “And ultimately with my fiancé.”
Her lips thinned. “You’re only marrying him because you don’t wanna raise that baby alone. If you’ll admit you were wrong to leave us, we’ll welcome you with open arms. You’ll have four people around day and night to help out with whatever you need.”
Ellie suppressed a shudder. The prospect of living with those people again robbed her of breath. The scuff of boots on the straw-covered earth behind her registered. She whirled, half expecting Gladys.
“Alexander.”
He advanced into the barn, his gaze—burning with icy promise—locked on Nadine. Halting beside Ellie, he deliberately shifted his suit jacket to expose the pistol at his hip.
“You were warned to steer clear of Ellie.”
Irritation flashed at his intrusion. “I’m not doing anything wrong. I’ve been congenial, right, Ellie?”
“You should leave,” Ellie told her. “You’ve nothing to gain by coming here again. I will never return to that cove.”
“We’ll see about that.” She strode past them and through the door.
Alexander waited several beats before turning to Ellie, his face taut with anxiety. “I arrived early. June told me
you were out here.”
“Where’s Margaret?”
“She decided our customers deserve a taste of Texas with a bit of Mexican thrown in. She’s scurrying around the kitchen, ordering Flo around, who’s tolerating such treatment only because of our familial connection.”
Moving suddenly, he erased the inches separating them and brought his hands up to frame her face. His roughened palms were gentle and warm against her skin.
“I fear I can’t do enough to keep you safe,” he murmured.
“We have to accept that my safety is ultimately God’s job.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “That’s a hard lesson, one He apparently wants me to learn.”
“Concerning me? Or Sarah and Levi?”
Sadness surged. He lowered his hands to his sides. “Concerning my past and present.”
Ellie wanted to tug him close again, to give and receive comfort. He’d traveled a hard road. They both had.
“If not for our charade, I wouldn’t have stepped foot inside a church,” he said. “I wouldn’t have heard God’s Word spoken or been reminded of the truths I’ve learned since childhood—truths I’d lost sight of in the haze of my grief and bitterness. I’m asking Him to help me forgive my enemies and to overcome the guilt I’ve felt over my role in the whole sorry saga.”
“I’m proud of you, Alex.”
After this was all over and they returned to their previous ways, her life would never be the same. Her heart would suffer the loss of her one true love. Ellie was comforted to know that something wonderful, something with eternal value, had resulted from their impulsive scheme.
The cow bellowed in her stall, and they both smiled.
“I won’t be but a few minutes.” Ellie picked up the pail from where she’d let it slip to the ground.
He reached for it. “Let me do it. You’ve yet to eat breakfast.”
“I’ll relinquish my task if you agree to eat with us.”
“It’s a deal.”
Ellie returned to the house. In a matter of months, she’d be saying goodbye to this relationship that had enriched her life and given her a glimpse of how it could be between a man and woman who liked and respected one another. All too soon, Alexander’s role would end. He’d retreat again, just when she needed him most.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“I can’t believe I’m leaving in two days.”
Alexander and Ellie exchanged frowns from across the table. No one wanted Margaret to leave, not even Flo, who didn’t suffer strangers gladly. It was the day before Thanksgiving, and the café was offering a traditional holiday meal one day early to compensate for tomorrow’s closure. The kitchen was bustling with activity. Even Sally had been enlisted to help with the food preparation.
He eyed the clock. Only one hour to go before the supper rush.
Through the windows, he could see dusk encroaching. The late November weather had turned cold this past week, and the stoves provided welcome heat.
“Perhaps you should delay your return. You promised to teach me how to make empanadas, remember?” Ellie crimped the crust edges of her pies, always careful to do precise work.
Flo bustled past with a platter of carved turkey. “You’re supposed to write down the wedding cookies recipe for me.”
Margaret lifted a pot from the stove and poured the mixture of melted butter and spices over a bowl of steamed carrots. Her regret clung to her like fog on an autumn morning.
“There’s never enough time to do everything we planned, is there?” She bit down on her lower lip.
Alexander wasn’t ready to say goodbye to his only sister. The days had passed too quickly. A longing to see his brother and his former home filled him. At long last, he was finally ready.
“How about I go with you?”
Everyone ceased what they were doing to gape at him.
Hope warred with disbelief in Margaret’s gaze. She set the pot on the stove with a clang. “To Texas?”
Flo transferred the platter to an empty space on the other table and jammed a hand on one ample hip. “I thought you were doing good to leave that office. Never thought I’d see you venture past the town border.”
“A man can change his mind, can’t he?”
“Not according to my pa.” Sally snorted. “A man sets his course and sticks to it,” she parodied in a low, gruff voice.
Alexander risked a glance at Ellie. Her focus on the pie before her, she’d gone still and silent. He was suddenly seized with conviction. He wanted to make the trip, and he wanted Ellie to go with him.
He set his knife aside and abandoned the oranges he’d been slicing, a special item he’d had Quinn order from Florida. “Sally? Flo? Would you mind checking that the dining room is ready for our supper guests?”
Wiping her hands on her apron, Flo muttered, “All you had to do was say you didn’t want us to hear your conversation.”
Margaret’s mouth quirked. “I’m going to miss that woman.”
Alexander circled the table and stopped close to Ellie. When she looked at him, her brown eyes were darker than usual, her skin pale in contrast.
“I want to go to Texas.”
A wrinkle tugged her brows together. “I don’t understand. You insisted you had no desire to return. What changed your mind?”
Margaret approached. “I’d like an answer to that, as well.”
“If I expect to move forward and embrace the future, whatever it may hold, I first have to deal with my past.” He drew in a steadying breath. “I didn’t get to see their graves. I need to go to the cemetery and touch the headstones. I need to formally say goodbye.”
Margaret slipped her hand around his inner elbow and leaned against him in a silent show of support.
Ellie’s eyes glistened with moisture. “I think that’s a wise decision. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure the café’s looked after in your absence.”
“You misunderstand. I want you to come with me.”
“Me?” She pointed her finger inward. “I can’t.”
“That’s a wonderful notion,” Margaret cried, straightening. “You’ll love the ranch, Ellie. Alexander and I can show you every inch of it.”
“We’d have to consult Doc Owens first,” he said. “And if he’s of the opinion you and the baby would suffer no harm, we’ll take the trip in stages. We’ll stay in hotels along the way.”
“I’m not part of your family,” she protested. “I have no reason to go.”
“We’re friends,” Alexander responded, anxious for her to agree. “Besides, Nadine and Gladys can’t get to you if you’re hundreds of miles away.”
Folding her arms over her chest, she said, “What would we tell your family and friends is the reason for my presence? Would we continue our engagement charade?”
“That won’t be necessary.” He thought for a moment. “How about we say that our customers enjoyed Margaret’s dishes so much that I decided to bring you along to learn more of our cuisine?”
Her gaze skidded away. Was that disappointment on her face?
His sister regarded him with thinly veiled annoyance. Tossing her head, she said, “Well, I for one, want you both at my wedding. You wouldn’t even have to buy me a wedding gift.”
Ellie carried the unbaked pies to the oven. Alexander hurried over to open the stove door for her. With a murmured thank-you, she returned to her work station and began to wipe the flour from the surface.
He looked to Margaret, who simply shrugged.
“Ellie?”
“Yes?”
“Aren’t you going to give me an answer?”
Margaret’s brows rose in unspoken reproof. He winced. Perhaps he had sounded like an impatient adolescent. But he could picture Ellie on the train beside him, smiling in
wonder as he pointed out the passing scenery. He could see her on the hill overlooking the acres upon acres of Copeland property. He knew, deep inside, that he could face his past if he had Ellie by his side.
She reached to clean the far side of the table, her stomach bumping against the edge. The memory of their one kiss came roaring back and, if not for his sister standing there, he’d wrap Ellie in his arms. The sudden need to taste her rosebud lips again was a tangible thing. He yearned to twine his fingers in her silken hair, press his hand to her belly and be reminded of the life growing inside her.
“My answer is no.”
The finality of her words snapped him out of his daydream. He opened his mouth to speak and took a step forward, but Margaret gave a firm shake of her head.
She touched Ellie’s shoulder. “Will you at least promise you’ll think about it?”
The damp rag in her hand stilled. “Margaret, I—”
“Please. For me.”
She sighed. “All right.”
Margaret gave her a quick hug and shot him a significant look, one that warned him to drop the subject lest he push Ellie too far.
Later that evening, after the café had cleared out and Margaret had gone to bed, Alexander paced aimlessly through his quarters. He couldn’t stop thinking about Texas and Ellie. He hadn’t dreamed of going himself, much less with her. The prospect became increasingly appealing the more he pondered it.
What if she said yes? What if they had a satisfying trip? What would happen once they returned? He wasn’t convinced he’d be content to resume their present circumstances, Ellie living in a rented bedroom when he had all this space.
Alexander halted on the living room threshold, imagining her in the cushioned chair closest to the fireplace, her hair spilling over her shoulder as she cradled an infant to her chest. Longing for something more than what he’d had these last few years clutched his chest in a vise. He was tired of being alone. Marrying his pretend fiancée would aid them both. He’d gain companionship and a second chance at fatherhood, and Ellie and her baby would have a home of their own.