This man, who has seen the world, is looking at me like I just might be the bluest ocean or the brightest star and he’s mesmerized by my existence. It’s intense and hypnotic, and if I’m not careful, I might just believe it’s more than what it is.
Adam turns back to Cailin. “Thank you for the dance, Sugarplum, but I have to get going.”
She pouts, and I can’t help it when I ask, “You can only stay for one song?”
He sighs as he places her down on the ground. “I have a show in”—he checks his watch—“two hours in Arizona.”
“Arizona?” I spit out in surprise.
A grin covers his face, and he glances down at his daughter. “Yep. I couldn’t miss this beautiful girl’s first dance, so I hired another band to perform before me to buy time. I have a private jet waiting to get me back in time.”
My eyes open wide in both shock and awe. The love this man has for his daughter has no boundaries.
“But only ten more days, right?” Cailin asks.
“That’s right. We have a few shows in Arizona, then LA and Vegas, and then I’m home.” He leans down to give her a hug.
“Yay!” She holds her arms up in celebration.
“Give me some love,” he says, and the two rub noses.
“I love you, Chestnut,” Cailin says with their faces inches apart.
He laughs before saying, “I love you too, Sugarplum.”
He holds up his pinkie finger to show his nail painted black, and Cailin matches his movements, showing her purple one.
Witnessing such a personal moment warms my heart.
“And you”—he stands, facing me, making me feel bad for invading their personal time—“Sarah … it was nice to meet you.”
“It’s my pleasure, Adam. I mean, Mr. Jacobson. I mean—”
He smirks. “Just Adam is fine.” He turns to the people still staring at us before turning to me and whispering, “I guess the cat’s out of the bag.” He glances down at Cailin in admiration. “Totally worth it. I couldn’t miss her first father-daughter dance. There wasn’t a better way for everyone to find out anyway. Bye, baby girl.” He rubs his finger under her chin.
“Bye, Daddy. Love you mucho.”
“Love you mucho more!” he yells back as he walks away, making Cailin laugh as she waves her tiny hand good-bye.
I inhale a deep breath, calming my nerves.
I knew his tour was ending soon, but hearing it’s only ten days away makes my stomach flip.
Will he be bringing her to school every day? How will the community react to having him here?
So many things fly through my mind.
But the biggest one of all is, How am I going to breathe knowing my own broken dreams are living just down the street?
I’ve been able to survive here, going about my life, with no memories or reminders of what was lost. It’s such a different world that I’ve tried to forget it even exists. How am I going to deal with it smacking me across the face every day?
I turn to Cailin, who’s still grinning from ear to ear as she watches her dad hop in a car waiting for him.
I guess only time will tell what happens. I just hope I have enough strength to pull through again.
6
Sarah
My mom greets me at the door when I enter the church. “How did last night go?” Her hands are clasped in front of her chest in excitement. The father-daughter dance was always her favorite too.
“So cute.” I sigh. “All the girls in their fancy dresses still make me smile.”
“Me too! I think I miss that dance most of all.”
We walk to the back to put my stuff down as I tell her all about the night, leaving out the part of our famous visitor. That could open up a can of worms, so it’s not worth even bringing up.
When we make our way back, Cailin comes running up, giving me a hug.
“Well, good morning,” I say. “Did you have fun last night?”
“I did!” She grins when she pulls back. “I still can’t believe my daddy made it. Best surprise ever!” She swings her arms out wide to the sides in celebration.
Linda makes her way over to us. “Good morning, Miss Russo.”
“Hello. I’d like to introduce you to my mom, Sandra.”
They exchange pleasantries before I turn my attention toward Cailin.
“Would you like to stay after church today and work on a song with me to sing next week?”
Her eyes light up, and when she turns to Linda in shock, my heart melts.
She folds her hands in front of her as she asks for permission, “Can I?”
Linda’s lips spread into a huge smile. “I’m sure we can make that happen.”
“Yay!” Cailin raises her hands above her head and cheers.
“Okay, take a seat, and I’ll find you afterward.”
After the service, Linda and Cailin are waiting by the back for me.
I approach her with my arm outstretched. “Here, come with me up onstage.”
Cailin’s quick to grip my hand and make her way up the two stairs to where a piano sits.
“Have you ever played?” I ask as I sit beside her.
“No, but I’ve seen my daddy play.”
I look up to Linda, who’s standing at the end of the piano for confirmation, and she nods.
“Oh, I didn’t realize he could play piano.”
“Yeah, he plays the guitar too,” Cailin says nonchalantly like I wouldn’t know the lead singer of the rock band everyone envies also plays guitar.
Memories of pictures I’ve seen of him with a guitar in his hands make my heart flutter. I think there’s nothing sexier than a man with a low-slung guitar, playing so easily without even watching what he’s doing. The talent he displays is something I’ve always admired.
“Have you ever listened to my daddy’s music?” she asks, glancing up with her eyebrows raised.
I have to bite back my laugh. “Yes, I’m familiar with his music.”
“You are?” Linda’s surprise is written all over her face.
I try to shrug it off like it’s no big deal. “I’ve been a fan of theirs for years.”
Linda purses her lips and nods, almost as if she’s impressed.
Devil’s Breed’s songs stood out when they first hit the radio. Adam writes all of their lyrics. His songs have meaning. They aren’t just silly rhymes or talking about partying and girls. He touches people with his words, and those words mean more to me than anything else.
I place my fingers on the piano keys and say, “Let’s start with an easy song. Have you ever heard Jesus Loves Me?”
Cailin bites her lip and turns her head down like she’s embarrassed she doesn’t know it.
“It’s okay if you haven’t. I’ll teach you. It’s easy.” I play the notes on the piano keys and begin with, “Jesus loves me. This I know.”
Cailin’s sweet voice chimes in as we go over the words, repeating them until she remembers all of the lyrics. I’ve heard her sing in class, but this moment is different. Tied with the piano notes, her voice is soft and in tune. Some kids tend to sing too loud or off-key but not Cailin.
The words slide off her tongue in a calming manner. She could sing any baby a lullaby, and they’d fall instantly asleep. The way she sits up tall, singing like she’s serenading the angels, impresses me. Not many people can get the correct inflection of their voice purely because of posture, but she’s a natural.
We go through the song a few times, and she quickly catches on.
She’s something special, and I’d love to see her perform for our church.
“You’re doing great. Let’s do it one more time all the way through, and then maybe we can do a special performance next Sunday.”
Her head pops in my direction as she squirms in her seat. “Really?”
“Really.” I grin and start the notes.
Without me having to prompt her, she sings on cue.
When we finish, my eyes tilt up to where Lind
a’s got her phone held high, pointed directly at us.
“Look over here, Cailin,” she says.
Cailin does, and her face glows when she sees Linda holding the camera facing our direction. She jumps up and runs to Linda. “Did you record us? I want to see!”
I stand and head over to Linda as well. My heart swells when I see the vision of us singing together. We are staring at each other as we sing. It’s a sweet moment, one I’d like to keep for myself as well.
“Would you mind sending that to me?” I ask.
“Of course.” Linda pulls her phone closer to her. “What’s your number, dear?”
I give her my number and then turn to Cailin. “Make sure to practice every night, and I’ll set up a time for us to sing together next week.”
Her arms wrap around my waist. “Thank you, Miss Russo.”
I rub her back. “It’s my pleasure, sweetie.”
Linda stands up, grabbing her purse from the seat next to her. “Thank you so much for doing this for her. It really means a lot.”
“It’s nothing. I enjoy singing just as much as she does. Hopefully, this will teach her that it’s okay to sing, but there’s just a time and a place.” I raise my eyebrow at her, making sure she gets my drift.
“I promise I won’t sing anymore in class.” She reaches her hand out to shake mine, like she’s making a deal with me.
I meet her hand, and she gives me one firm shake before letting go. The gesture makes me chuckle, and Linda does the same.
“How about we go get some lunch?” Linda asks Cailin while running her fingers through the little girl’s hair.
“Okay. Bye, Miss Russo.” She waves, and I wave back.
“Bye.”
I head to my dad’s office where I keep my personal things. When I check my phone, there are multiple missed calls and texts from Maggie.
How did you not call me?
I’m guessing this is at your school, but why are you so dressed up, and who is this little girl?
Is she a student?
Please tell me what I’m reading is true.
He’s her DAD?!?!?! How did no one know this?!
OMG, what does your dad think?
Each text message is sent a few seconds to a few minutes apart. She has to be talking about last night, but how does she already know?
I step out of the church and hide in between the building and parking lot, so I can talk in private. The phone only rings once, and she answers on FaceTime.
“That was the longest church service—ever!” she yells with her black hair falling down over her smoky eye shadow. “Now, spill it.”
I laugh nervously. “Spill what?”
“Ha! Don’t act all innocent with me. I’ve seen the photo and read the stories online. How are you photographed with Adam Jacobson?” The way she says his name makes my stomach flutter and my palms sweat.
Then, reality of what she’s saying clicks in. “Wait, what photo?”
“You haven’t seen?” she asks way too loudly, making me jump and almost drop the phone.
She ends our FaceTime call without another word, and two seconds later, my phone chimes with another incoming text message. I click the link, and there, plain as day, is a photo of Adam and me smiling at each other while Cailin stares up at her dad with the headline of:
THE DEVIL’S SECRET LIFE
My hand instantly covers my mouth as I inhale a deep breath when my phone rings again with another FaceTime call from Maggie.
“Yes, the article says lust-filled if you haven’t let that sink in yet,” she says with eyes wide open at me, her bright red lips perched together in question for a beat. “Now, as I said before, spill it.”
“It’s not what you think …” I trail off, my mind going twenty different directions at once.
Who sent the photos to these news sites? Oh my God, my dad will freak if he sees me even talking to Adam. He’ll think I’m planning things all over again. I can’t start that fight back up.
“Hello?” Maggie yells.
“Um, sorry. She’s his—”
“Daughter,” she finishes my sentence in shock. “How does the most eligible rock star, everyone’s dreamy bad boy, have a daughter no one knew about?”
“She’s my student. You know I can’t say anything about my students. They told me they’ve kept it a secret, but they knew it would come out soon with her enrolled in school.”
I have to cover the phone again when she screams, so people don’t hear her.
“And you knew?”
I drop my head back in shock, wonder, hell, even amazement of the memories that plagued me for so long last night that I couldn’t sleep.
His eyes had seemingly melted into mine. I thought I had been imagining things, but something about the way I’d felt made me pine for more. He’d spoken to me with his simple look, making me imagine the possibilities of being with someone I shouldn’t want in this world.
Maybe I wasn’t imagining it?
“Hello? Earth to Sarah. I’ve already had to wait all morning. Now, tell me.”
I close my eyes, letting the chills run through my body, which create goose bumps all over, before I respond, “I already did. She’s my student.”
“Law or not, best-friend code trumps silly law code.”
I laugh at her thought process. “I don’t think it works that way. Plus, it’s cool that he kept her a secret. I didn’t want to be the one to change her life and let their secret out.”
“Why? Why does my best friend have to be the one person on earth to actually follow the golden rule and have such a big heart?” she teases.
She’s back on the move, walking down the busy New York street, holding her arm out wide above her head, shouting up to God, looking like a crazy person and not having a care in the world about what people think. It’s amazing how different our living situations are.
We met when the school randomly paired us as roommates. I was the goody-two-shoes virgin who wore Gap sweaters and ballet flats, looking to break out of my shell. Maggie was the miniskirt-wearing, flirting-with-any-guy-she-could girl from Queens. We were completely opposite yet perfect for each other.
Her craziness opened me up, and my virtue calmed her down. Neither one of us changed too much, yet we both grew to become smaller versions of one another.
I laugh out loud. “Because I’m the only person to tame your ass.”
I hear her chuckle on the other end before she holds the phone up better for me to see her. “Yeah, you’re probably right about that. And I’m glad to hear you didn’t say rear end there. I am not going back to those days with you. You hear me, missy?”
I can’t help the smile from the memories of her making fun of the way I used to speak. “Yes, Mom.”
“So, at least tell me what he smelled like.” She gives me a devilish grin.
Like manly heaven wrapped in a soft blanket placed around me. “I didn’t get close enough to smell him.”
“Liar!” she yells. “Your face can’t hide shit. You totally did. But that’s fine. Keep it to yourself. I won’t hold a grudge or anything. But you haven’t read what people are saying …”
My eyes open wide as I click to switch our call to a normal call. I pull up the article once again and start scanning.
“Are you reading now?” I hear her say through the speaker. “You see the speculation that you might be the little girl’s mom?”
Shock fills my soul. At least I know my dad won’t believe that. “No!”
“Actually, you might want to stay away from the comments people are posting. There are some haters out there but also people who want to share their knowledge. People from your small-ass town feel all big, knowing who you are, and were quick to rat you out.”
“They did not,” I say breathlessly.
“Um, yes, they did. You should make your Facebook and Instagram pages private because your life is being run through by jealous bitches.”
I tightly close my eyes, prayi
ng I don’t have anything too embarrassing on there.
“Miss Russo,” I hear someone say and turn around to see Linda.
I quickly pull the phone up to my ear. “Maggie, I’ll call you back.”
Linda steps a bit closer, and I see the trepidation in her facial expression. Her lips turn down in a frown, and she sighs. “I take it, you know.”
I stuff my phone down in my purse, not wanting to lie, but not sure what to say, so instead, I search for Cailin. “Where’s …”
“She’s in the car, talking to Adam. He asked that I check on you. He told me about the articles. He had expected something to get leaked, and he’s sorry you got dragged into it.”
I stand up a little straighter, trying to act cool even though I’m freaking out inside. What if people recognize me? What if word gets out about my past? I take a deep breath and put on my best acting role. “It’s no big deal. I’m just sorry his secret is out. How is he handling it?”
She cups her hands together in front of her body. “He knew putting her in school would eventually let the cat out of the bag. He figured if he was going to tell the world, then what better way than at a father-daughter dance? He was prepared, and his PR people have been waiting for this since the day she was born. The photo of the two of you was never in that plan though.”
“But we’re just standing, talking to one another.”
“Yeah, but when you’re someone like Adam, all gloves are off. He’s used to it. He even created his entire persona around it. People can be brutal, judgmental, and quick to state what they perceive as fact.”
She turns to check on Cailin and then back to me. “But I think this is the best thing that could have happened.”
My eyes widen in surprise. “You mean, um, the photos of—”
“Just as many people are wondering who you are as they are wondering who she is. You’ve helped take some of the focus off of her. There are millions of females who would die to be in your shoes. No one wants to be in hers; they can’t relate to the story that way. People can relate to you; they want to be the one everyone is talking about.”
Our Song Page 5