“How fast or slow are you envisioning this?” she asks.
“Wanna hear?” I grin, tilting my head back to the house.
“Now?” Her eyes open wide.
“We’ve worked a little of it out on the piano. Then, Jack will come in with the guitar and drums, of course, but I can show you the beginning.”
She stands and holds her hand out to mine. The beauty radiating off her right now is almost blinding. Knowing that I’ll be able to share my passion, my music with her pretty much seals the deal.
This girl was made for me.
We walk to the house and the back room where the piano is. I practice a few chords to remember the keys and then start the song.
The first three notes are fast, and then some are slow. Then, it repeats as I start the song. My eyes close as I let the words take over, pouring all of the emotion I’ve felt for her these last few weeks into my actions.
I open them and see she’s holding the lyrics, following along. I sing the next verse where I wanted our voices to meld together, and when she blends her words with mine, tingles take over my entire body.
Magic. Nothing but pure magic fills the air as we sing in tune for the first time together.
It takes everything in my power not to stop and make love to her right here on this piano. The way her body flows with the words turns me on like nothing I’ve ever imagined.
And her voice? Pure perfection. When I heard her sing the song with Cailin, it was different, lighter. Now, it has emotions. Feelings from her soul pour out of her body, and I see for myself what Jack was talking about.
She has it. She has that something special, and I’m so honored to get to be a part of it.
I continue with the chorus, and when it comes to her part, I give her the floor, encouraging her to continue. My heart pounds as she belts out the lyrics I’ve worked with her in mind.
Her eyes never leave mine as she moves on, singing the chorus, and I let her, loving the mixture of her doing it this round. When her voice deepens, really getting into the sound I’m going for, it really hits me.
We were made for this.
The end of the song has us repeating certain lyrics, and when I finish, I stand to wrap her in my arms. Not able to hold anything back as I show her how much that meant to me.
29
Sarah
Waking up in Adam’s arms is more than a dream come true; it’s my heaven. I gave up on my dreams so long ago, but now, I’m filled with so much hope that I don’t know what to do with myself.
I felt the way our voices came together so deep in my soul. This is what I’ve been missing. He’s filled this hole that I thought would forever be empty.
I run my fingers through his, stirring him awake. The sleepy grin he gives me in return makes my heart sing. This man is becoming my everything, and singing with him last night was one of the most amazing moments in my life.
“Morning,” he whispers as he leans down to kiss my forehead.
I hold him tighter, laying my head on his bare chest as memories of him making love to me last night run through my mind. It wasn’t until he wrapped me in his arms, carrying me upstairs, that I realized we had been downstairs. I was so lost in the moment, not having a care in the world but him.
And I loved it.
“You’d better watch it.” He chuckles under his breath. “You’re giving me a chub, and Cailin will be awake any minute now.”
I kiss his chest and push off of him just as I hear Cailin opening her bedroom door and calling for her dad.
“Come on in, sweetheart,” he yells to her once I have his shirt slipped over my head.
“Yay, you came back!” she says as she skips over to his bed, climbing up to join us. “I slept great! How about you guys?”
I giggle to myself as I curl back up against Adam, who’s got his arm tucked under his head to slightly prop himself up. I slept great, no thanks to her dad here.
He grins my way before saying, “We slept good. Why don’t you give us some time to get up, and we’ll get breakfast going?”
“Can I turn on the TV to watch cartoons?” Cailin asks, jumping off the bed.
“If that will buy me ten minutes,” Adam whispers to me as he slides his hand down my torso under the covers. I jerk, shocked he’d do such a thing, and he has to bite his lip not to laugh out loud before he says, “Sure. We’ll be right there.”
Once we’re alone, he throws me back, kissing my neck, as I fall into a fit of giggles, trying to fight him off.
We hear Cailin call for us from the kitchen, and he sighs, hopping off the bed in nothing but his boxers. Seeing his tall, fit, tattooed body stirs me even more, and I have to take a deep breath before getting up myself to slide on my pants.
Reaching for my phone, I see I missed calls from my sister and my mom last night. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and tuck the phone back in my purse. I don’t know whose side they’ll be on, and right now, I don’t care. I don’t want them to ruin my high I’m finally feeling after all this time. So, I push the thoughts away and finish getting my clothes on.
We head downstairs where I help Cailin, and Adam starts the coffee.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” Cailin asks when Adam joins us in the living room.
“What do you think about going to the studio?” Adam asks.
I turn to him in surprise. “Seriously?”
“Oh, yes. Can we, Daddy?”
I look back to Cailin. “You like going to the studio?”
“It’s super fun! They have all these buttons and sliding things that they let me play with to make funny sounds, and I get to sing into the microphone.”
Her joy brings so much light into this world on a constant basis.
“What do you think?” Adam asks, placing his hand on mine.
“I-I mean … I’ve never been to one. Where is it? Don’t you have to book and pay for it in advance?”
The guys from my band in New York and I were in the process of setting some time up at a studio when everything happened. It was expensive, and we were just about able to finally pay for it.
“Jack has one in his house. Most of our stuff has been recorded there. He lives about an hour away in the Oakland Hills.”
“You think he’d be up for it?” I ask.
Adam nods. “Oh, yeah. He was digging what we were doing last night. Kept saying he’d love to hear it in the studio. I’ll give him a call in a few. He doesn’t have the early girl alarm clock that we do.” He playfully rubs his hand over Cailin’s head, making her giggle as she pushes him away.
* * *
I’m in absolute awe as we walk down to Jack’s basement and enter the studio set up in his house. The wooden walls and foam-coated boards bring me both happiness and sadness.
My bandmates and I dreamed of being in a place like this someday. The studio we were saving up for was nothing compared to this.
Sound booths sit in each corner, and in between them, a drum set is set up with guitars sitting on their stands, just waiting to be picked up.
“Welcome to my humble abode,” Jack says as he opens his arms wide.
“This is amazing.” I sit at the mixing board, mesmerized by all the knobs and sliders, taking in what each one does.
Cailin climbs up on a high stool that’s tucked in the corner. When I look closer, I see right next to it is a sign that says Cailin’s Seat Only.
“So, I can’t sit there?” I ask, teasing.
Jack swoops up next to her, crossing his arms in front of his chest like a bouncer would to intimidate someone. “Nope. This is Cailin’s spot, and I’ll have to escort you out if you try to do anything funny,” he states in a deeper voice.
She mimics his motions and his tone. “Yeah, this is my spot.”
Adam leans down to whisper to me, “See, it’s not just me she has wrapped around her little finger.”
I grin to Adam, and he winks as he steps into the sound booth.
“Is this t
hing on?” He taps the microphone, and Cailin holds up her thumb.
“So, you went over the lyrics?” Jack asks me.
“Yeah, and she sang a few parts that we weren’t thinking she would, so I want to give that a try,” Adam responds.
“Nice.” Jack nods his head to me like he’s proud of my work.
“What are you guys thinking for this? I mean, he played the piano for it, but what else do you want to add?”
Jack goes over how he wants it to start low, building the tempo until the beat drops and the song takes on more of the hardness their fans are used to.
I pick up the lyrics that Adam placed on the table as we walked in and go over them a few more times.
The song is a perfect love ballad for his genre of music. It doesn’t use the words or slow pace that people are used to. It’s not cheesy, and to some, it might even be confusing, but that’s what relationships are—a mixture of emotions that flow like the ocean.
He’s acting as if a relationship were as simple as asking someone if they could come over to his house. He wants to hang out, but it’s more than just for the night.
He wants to take the place of the random people around her, and this is his way of showing it. Asking if she can hear him is his way of asking if she understands what he’s trying to say, but he can’t get the words out.
Saying he’s only a little ways away shows he’s ready now; she just has to invite him in.
It’s everything I’ve always loved about Adam’s music. There’s so much meaning to the words that are spoken; you just have to care enough to listen to them.
“Did I hear we’re bringing a chick in to sing with us?” Noah throws the door open, announcing his presence in a way only he can.
“Yeah, and if you lay a hand on her, I’ll kick your ass,” Adam says through the microphone from the sound booth.
Noah walks straight up to me, wrapping his arm around me and dipping me back, pretending to kiss me, whispering, “You’ll learn I like to fuck with him a lot. Watch, he’ll be here in—” We’re ripped apart by Adam, and Noah falls back on the couch in a laughing fit. “Told ya,” he says.
I lean up to kiss Adam. “He was just messing with you. No one could take your place.”
The grin he gives me is priceless, and his crystal-blue eyes radiate back at me, filling my life with pure happiness for him. It’s more than this moment. It truly is him that’s putting my life back together when I thought it was lost forever.
“So, let’s hear it. What you got?” Noah asks like he’s asking me what I have to offer him to drink and not for me to sing in a sound booth for the first time.
I know, for him, this is an everyday event, but for me, this is an opportunity I was sure I’d lost. I glance around the room, not sure where to go and what to do.
Adam takes me by my hand into the sound booth, so it’s just the two of us. “Don’t be nervous. We’ll practice a few times, and I’ll be right here for you.” He tilts his head, and I can’t help but lean up to kiss him.
We get slightly carried away, and I hear Jack clear his throat over the loudspeaker. “Um, hello? There’s a child here,” he teases.
I turn in shock of what Cailin just saw and realize she’s not even in the room.
“Just kidding,” Jack says. “She went to get water. Just wanted to fuck with you. We’re here to make music, not more babies.”
Adam grabs the headphones and puts them over my head before picking up his pair. “We’ll practice a few times. Don’t worry about anything if you mess up. We have all the time in the world.” Adam’s voice is so reassuring and helps calm my nerves.
“What about the music? I’m not sure I can sing to nothing. How do I get the beat?” I ask.
“Don’t worry. Jack laid down the piano track last night.”
“Seriously?” I ask, surprised.
“Yeah. Once he gets on something, it’s hard for him to stop. That’s why he built this studio. It drove him nuts to have to quit and go home for the night when the place would kick us out.” Then, Adam says to Jack, “Play the track, so she can hear it.”
He nods, and a few seconds later, I hear the piano through my headphones. My eyes light up, and I can’t help the biggest smile that covers my face.
This is seriously happening.
Adam leans in to softly kiss me. “Let’s do this.” He smiles and raises his eyebrows to me.
I nod, and Adam heads to his spot next to me with a microphone in front of him as well.
We listen to the beginning a few times, practicing where he’ll come in and where our voices will merge together.
“Okay, let’s try this for real this time,” he says to Jack and then turns to me. “If you want to continue to your verse, go ahead, or we can stop and practice that a little more too.”
I nod and hold my hand to my ear, ready to feel the beat straight to my soul.
Adam’s voice begins, and chills run through my entire body. It’s so powerful, so manly, so … Adam.
I sing my quick portion with him, which is more harmonizing than actual lyrics.
To my surprise, I look over to see Noah right as he pounds out a beat on the drums when Adam’s voice drops, and he belts out the chorus. The growl-like inflection he does as he emphasizes certain words fits perfectly with the rhythmic beat.
It’s been years since I’ve been with a group of guys who just fit together like this. My band was the same way. One member could join in, creating a sound no one had predicted but was pure magic.
Thinking of my band both breaks my heart and heals it at the same time. I know they wouldn’t want me to live the way I’ve been living.
This is for them.
I place my hand over my heart, saying a silent prayer, knowing they’re smiling down on me.
The chorus is coming to a close, so I take the motivation I’m feeling from their memory and belt out the lyrics that Adam wrote.
Cailin cheering behind the mixing board brings a tear to my eye, but I blink it away as I take in the moment.
My moment that I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime for.
We haven’t practiced after that portion, so Jack stops the tape, and Adam jumps to his feet, picking me up and swinging me around. His excitement is the exact emotion flooding me right now, and I love that he feels the same way.
“That’s my teacher!” I hear Cailin yell through the speaker system, making me laugh.
“That’s my girl,” Adam whispers right before kissing me.
They’re both right, but I’m also so much more. I’m just finally able to show everyone else too.
30
Sarah
Today has been the most amazing day ever! We spent all day working, perfecting, and redoing the song until it was perfect. No matter if we only do this one song, it will forever be our song, the first one we recorded together.
I love that Cailin’s been here for every step. I can’t think of many kids her age who would have lasted so long, but they include her, ask her opinion, and show her how every button or knob works.
Thinking back to those first days of school where she would sing constantly makes so much more sense now. This has been her life and all she knows.
How special that Adam includes her in everything.
We’re listening to the final cut when Cailin says, “Do we still get to celebrate like we normally do even though Uncle Max isn’t here?”
My heart stops. Max. I’ve been so focused on my dreams that I completely forgot about Max and the fact that he’s not here.
Adam picks her up. “I called and left him a message after lunch because he still can’t have phone calls, just to give him an update. What do you think we should do?”
She places her hand on her chest, acting overly dramatic. “I,” she drawls out, “think we should still do it and take video that we can show him later, so he’s still a part of it.”
“What does this celebration entail?” I ask.
Cailin wiggles out o
f her dad’s arms and runs up to me. “It’s so much fun!” Her excitement is palpable.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Jack yells. “I have to cover the equipment.”
Jack places covers over the mixing boards while Adam grabs a few water bottles from the mini fridge and hands them out.
“What are we going to do?” I ask Cailin.
“You crack the top and place your thumb over it, like this.” She shows me, and I look to Adam for reassurance.
I raise my eyebrows at him, asking if she’s serious.
He laughs and begins the countdown, “Three, two, one.”
Before I know it, water is being flung everywhere as Cailin, Adam, and Jack jump around, hooting and hollering. I turn to Noah, who’s filming the event.
“Uh-oh,” Noah says. “You guys, I think Sarah needs a little motivation.”
In no time flat, both Adam and Cailin are on me, soaking me with their sprays. I shake the bottle, only letting a little water out of the top at a time to repay the favor.
Fits of giggles surround the room as the celebration comes to a conclusion due to our bottles being empty.
Adam wraps his arms around me, wiping the water from my forehead before he kisses it and brings me to his chest. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
“Everyone say good-bye,” Noah says.
We all wave to the camera, and Cailin runs closer to it.
“We miss you, Uncle Max!” She kisses into the screen right before Noah shuts the video off.
I look up into Adam’s amazing blues, happier than I’ve ever been.
“Welcome to the club, baby,” he whispers only to me.
I lean up to kiss him. Hearing him call me baby does things to me that I shouldn’t be feeling with everyone around us like this.
“See? That was so much fun, huh?” Cailin asks.
“So much fun!” I respond. “Do you guys do that after every song?”
Adam chuckles, throwing his head back. “No, I think Jack would have a fit. Only after the first and the last.”
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