by Jen Talty
And he’d seen firsthand what it had done to her, so he was happy to cut her some slack.
“Gee, fucking thanks.”
“Gee, your fucking welcome.” Damn it. If this dynamic between the two of them was going to change, it was going to have to come from him because she was still too obviously reeling from what she thought Fletcher and his old crew allowed to happen.
Which Fletcher actually tried to stop.
And the reality was that Fletcher risked his life to save hers. Unfortunately, it was too late for Devon. A reality that still haunted Fletcher. Much like his parents’ deaths.
The ride to the crash site was done in silence. He leaped from the vehicle, grabbing his gear and following Renee, his lead, to the first car where a toddler was trapped in the back seat. He stood off to the side while Renee, her brother Gavin Nash, Spencer Bryant, and Troy and Noah Farren chatted with the state trooper on the scene, creating a game plan.
Another crew had already started working on the fire that had broken out, though totally contained.
“The jaws of life are going to have to be used on two of the cars,” Renee said.
He understood what that meant. “Where do you want me?”
“With the SUV with the kid. We’re better prepared to handle a juvenile.”
“Agreed.” He stomped his way across the pavement, swallowing his emotions. There was no room for anything other than empathy. If he got too close to anyone in crisis, it would be bad. He just needed to do his job.
Spencer and Troy took the jaws of life while Noah and Gavin secured the area, making sure innocent people who stood by on the sidelines wouldn’t see the bloody mess inside.
“I want to stick my head in the window,” Fletcher said.
“I’m okay with that,” Renee said. “Just do it from the passenger front seat. Got it?”
“Yup.” Fletcher raced to the other side of the vehicle, ignoring the roaring sound of the saw cutting through metal. He glanced inside the wreckage. A man was pinned behind the steering wheel. His legs appeared to be crushed. A woman was limp in the passenger seat. A small child, hanging in a car seat in the back, cried for his mother. “From what I can see, the baby is fine. Once we cut the door off, you can reach in and unhook the child.”
“A pediatric transport is en route,” a firefighter from the other station house said. “ETA three minutes.”
“Good.” She glanced over the heap of metal. “I’ll assess the driver once the vehicle is secure,” she said to one of the men from the other crew.
Fletcher set his equipment down and focused his attention on his task. “Hey there, fella. It’s going to be okay.” He stepped around one of his buddies as they ripped open the top part of the SUV. He reached in and unhooked the latch across the child who continued to kick and scream. “I know. You’re scared. It’s okay,” he said as calmly as he could. He blinked a few times. He’d never actually been a father, but for a couple of months, his heart swelled with the anticipation, and then in a flash, it had all been taken away.
“Peds are here,” Renee said. “And the SUV is secure.”
Fletcher tugged the child into his arms. The little boy immediately wrapped both hands around Fletcher’s neck. “You’re going to be okay, little man,” he whispered as he handed the child off to the pediatric team. His ex-wife had remarried a few weeks after their divorce had become final and just weeks after she’d given birth to her son.
The one Fletcher had thought was his, but it turned out it was their neighbor’s.
He pushed that thought from his mind. “What do we have, Renee?”
“Part of the door ripped off and went right through his side,” Renee said. “And into the seat.” She handed him a cervical collar.
Gently, but swiftly, he put the device on the patient and also ran an oxygen line. “Renee, look at how his legs are pinned under the steering column. Half of it is pushed right through the front seat.”
“I see that,” she said as she continued to examine the gentleman with weak vitals, but at least the metal sticking out of his body had prevented him from bleeding out. “Pulling this dashboard off him is going to put a lot of pressure on the chair, shifting the shrapnel. His breath sounds are shallow and look at the quick EKG reading.” She glanced up at Fletcher. “I’m concerned if that hunk of metal is too close to his heart and it shifts, we’re screwed.”
“I agree,” Fletcher said, glancing at the woman in the passenger seat who moaned. “How’s she doing?”
“Her vitals are strong,” the paramedic from the other station house said. “We’re ready to lift to the gurney and transport.”
“Hopefully, we won’t be too far behind.” Renee adjusted the oxygen.
“I’ve got an idea,” Fletcher said. “Hey, Spencer. Gavin.”
“Yo,” Gavin said.
“Right here.” Spencer leaned over the top of the car.
“Grab Noah too.”
“Right behind you,” Noah said.
“I need someone to reach under Renee and help guide the dash pieces out of the seat while Spencer cuts the dash off,” Fletcher said. “All while someone is unscrewing the seat. We’re going to have to take it with us. Renee, do you think you can make sure the patient stays still? I’ll cut his leg free.”
“Are you crazy?” Renee said. “We can’t do this all at once. It will most likely kill the patient. We need to do one thing at a time.”
“Take a good whiff.” Fletcher stepped around her so he could get a better look at the small steel object holding down the driver’s leg. It was maybe half the size of a pencil, but it was solid. It entered through his ankle by the top of his foot, and it didn’t appear to go all the way through.
“That’s gas,” Spencer said. “We still have flames.”
“This thing could blow,” Noah said.
“I need the steel cutters.” Fletcher stretched out his hand, holding Renee’s gaze.
Her nostrils flared. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to piss her off this time, but if they didn’t act now, they could all be dead. “Now, Renee.”
She slapped them, hard, on his hand.
A crackle of flames sparked near the rear of the vehicle. Other firefighters continued to work to keep the fire from spreading.
“The seat’s no longer bolted down,” Noah said. “I’ll hold it steady. Ready, Renee?”
“Yes, but I want it on record that I think this is stupid.” She wrapped an arm around the driver’s middle.
“On three.” Fletcher ignored her little tantrum. Everyone knew there was no other way to save this man’s life, including her. “One, two, three.” He held the patient’s legs steady as the sound of metal ripping apart screeched in the air like fingernails on a chalkboard. He made eye contact with Renee.
“It’s not going to be easy to transport him like this,” Renee said softly. “It’s going to take two people to hold him and this object steady, and we need a driver who can avoid pot holes.”
“I’ll drive,” Gavin said. “You two take care of the patient.”
“Let’s get him on the gurney.” Fletcher crawled through the other side of the SUV and gently lifted the seat off the floor. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
“Now you want my opinion,” she muttered. “You deal with reassessment, IV, oxygen, and all that. I’ll hold this steady.”
“If you need a break, let me know.”
He climbed into the back of the ambulance and worked in silence. Luckily, Gavin hadn’t hit any major bumps, and the man’s vitals remained steady. They weren’t great, but he was holding his own.
Fletcher stole a few glances at Renee. Whatever problem she had with him, they were going to have to get it out in the open, and soon.
Or some innocent bystander might pay the price.
2
Renee pulled into her designated spot next to the carriage house. She slipped from the Jeep and stretched. The morning sun hovered between the horizon and the blue sky. The waters of Lake George we
re flat, except for wakes made by boaters as they hummed up and down the shoreline.
The sound of gravel kicking up from under tires caught her attention.
Gavin.
Wonderful.
She snagged her purse and stomped to her rented home. She’d moved here a few months ago. She couldn’t stand living at her parents’ house anymore. They meant well, but since her mother had retired from being a firefighter and her father had taken an administrative job with the police department, they had way too much time on their hands.
Gavin and Charlotte couldn’t have that baby of theirs soon enough, giving her parents something to do other than meddling in her life.
Leaving the door open for her brother, she reached up on tiptoe and pulled down two mugs and a couple of pods for coffee.
“You took off from work like a bat out of hell,” Gavin said as he sauntered into her tiny kitchen. Her home could be considered a tiny house, only it was built like a hundred years ago as a servants’ quarters and was an exact mini replica of the house on the lake. The owner, New York State Trooper Jared Blake and his wife Ryan, hadn’t rented it in years, but decided to open it up for Renee.
They gave her access to the waterfront and even dock space, if she wanted it. The only real negative, and it wouldn’t normally be an issue, was the fact that Jared had four kids ranging in age from twelve to eight.
She flattened her hand across her stomach. Only she and the doctors had known she had been pregnant, and losing her baby had been like losing the very last piece she had of Devon.
“It was a long, hard shift.”
“I know. I worked it too.” Gavin took the cup she offered and blew on the dark liquid.
“Did Cade send you after me?”
“No. But he would have if I hadn’t told him I was coming here.”
Turning the chair by the kitchen table, she laughed. “I’m doing what he asked, so I don’t know what the fuck the problem is now.”
“You argued with Fletcher for no reason today.”
“At first glance, I didn’t think what he was proposing was a good idea.”
Gavin arched a brow.
“After I reassessed, we went with it.”
“You forget. I was there.” Gavin leaned against the counter and sipped his coffee. Growing up, he’d been her best friend. When he’d had his accident and was severely burned on the job, she sat with him every day at the hospital. She helped him through the worst time of his life.
He’d been the one sitting at her bedside when she woke up, and he’d been the one to tell her that Devon was dead.
Since that moment, she’d done her best to push him and everyone else away.
“I think it’s time I put in for a transfer,” she said flatly. She’d worked in one other station when she’d first started, mostly because she hadn’t wanted to work with half her family. She didn’t want that safety net. After her mother retired and Cade took over as captain, he talked her into it, and she loved it.
Until Fletcher came and spoiled everything.
“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“I can’t work with him.” She stared at her brother with a narrowed gaze. “No matter what everyone tells me about what happened that night, every time I look at Fletcher Cain, all I see is the man who allowed my Devon to go back inside an unstable building as a civilian. Fletcher could be the best fucking paramedic and firefighter on the planet, and the fact my husband is dead won’t change.”
“You need to re-write that narrative.” Gavin shook his head. “I’m shocked the department shrink let you come back to work with that mantra playing in your head.”
“It wasn’t there until Cade hired that asshole.” That was the truth. She’d had many breakthroughs during therapy, and she’d felt good when she’d gone back to work, as if she might be able to start living some kind of new normal. She knew her life would never be the same as it was when she’d allowed Devon into her heart.
Nor would she ever love again, a point that the counselor tried to get her to reconsider and be open to the idea of allowing a man into her life in the future.
“Well, we need to break it.”
“The only way to do that is either to have him leave, or me,” she said, raising her mug.
“I don’t believe that for one second.” Gavin smiled like he used to when they were kids and he had a crazy idea that was for sure going to get them in trouble. “And I’ve got the perfect idea to help you.”
“What are you now, my psychologist?” she asked with sarcasm dripping from every word.
“Close. I’m your big brother. I love you, and I’m tired of seeing you like this,” Gavin said. “There is a firefighter expo downstate, and I suggested we send you and Fletcher instead of me and Noah.”
“Oh no.” She waved her finger at him.
“I spoke to Cade about it, and he’s all on board.”
“I don’t give a shit. I’m not spending a long weekend trapped in a booth with that asshole.”
“That asshole is agreeable. Fletcher said he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make this situation work.”
“Then tell him to fucking quit,” she mumbled. We always want someone to take responsibility, but most of the time we place the blame in all the wrong places. Her therapist’s words cut through her mind like a wild elephant. One of the things she discussed with her counselor was how much it bothered her that Devon left her in the middle of the night. That he felt the need to go off and surprise her with things that she wouldn’t need for months instead of sleeping next to her their first night as husband and wife. No explanation that anyone could give her would make her feel as though her husband hadn’t snuck out on her and that made no sense.
Devon had chased her for months before she agreed to go out with him, and then she tried to break up with him twice, but he wouldn’t give up. He knew they were meant for each other. They were a perfect fit. So why did he sneak out on their wedding night? Where had he gone? Had he left the hotel? Did he just wander the halls? Get a snack? No one knew.
Except her and admitting the truth meant she had to refocus the blame.
She and Devon had fallen asleep around one in the morning. The explosion in the kitchen happened at four twenty. No one knows when or for how long Devon had been gone. All she knew for sure was that he raced into the building to save her but she was the only one who came out alive.
“That’s not going to happen. It’s been decided. Fletcher will pick you up at ten tomorrow morning.”
“This is ridiculous. I should go over Cade’s head and complain. I shouldn’t be forced into attending an expo.”
“It’s time and a half, and you were originally in the rotation, but we took you out after Devon was killed.”
She inhaled sharply. Tears stung her eyes. The counselor warned her that grief would ebb and flow and that there was no right way or wrong way and to not fight it, but don’t let it take over her life.
But she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to move past what happened. Not like everyone wanted her to.
“You don’t have a choice.” Gavin sat down next to her, taking her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her skin. “Fletcher isn’t the enemy, and he’s not the reason Devon is dead.”
She snapped her gaze to her brother and mentally shot daggers at him. “Why is he dead? Why did he leave our hotel room? What was he doing?”
“I wish I knew,” Gavin said. “But you have to accept that you will probably never find the answer to that question.”
She let the air out of her lungs and swiped at her face. “How long is this stupid expo?”
“Thursday through Sunday.”
“Why are we leaving on Wednesday morning then?” she asked.
“You’ll need time to go over the presentation.”
“The present-what?” her voice screeched. She’d attended expos before, but always as an attendee. This would be her first time manning a booth, but she never thought she’
d be expected to teach.
“It’s not a big deal. It will be for newbie firefighters. I’ll email you all the material when I get home. I’ve got a presentation all set up. You’ll do fine.”
“Wonderful. I’m so looking forward to it,” she said with pursed lips.
He waggled his finger. “That’s exactly the kind of attitude you need to nix on the job. You do it at the station and you—”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re sounding like a broken record.”
Gavin tapped his finger on the table. “You better be ready, and please, don’t give him too hard of a time.” He kissed her forehead. “When you get back, come over for dinner or something. Charlotte misses you.”
It was so hard to be around his wife, but only because she was about to give birth. Had Renee not lost her baby, she would have been due any day. This had been something she looked forward to sharing with her brother and his family. The idea that they would have children close together in age had made her ridiculously giddy.
Another thing that had been taken from her that night.
“Tell her I said hello.”
“Will do.” He stood by the front door. “Devon was a good man. He loved like there was no tomorrow.”
“I know.” Not that the words made her feel any better.
“I’ll be gone for four nights, five days, Grandma.” Fletcher put the rest of the leftovers in the fridge and pulled out a beer.
“I’m a big girl and can take care of myself.” She grabbed him by the cheeks and shook his face. “I do it when you’re at the station.”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t, but you did break your hip a few months ago, and we don’t want a repeat of that.”
“You’re a good boy.” She gave him a little love pat. “How goes things at work?”
He twisted the top off his cold brew and swigged. “It was a tough shift.”
“I heard about the four-car pileup.”
“That was difficult, but it looks like everyone is going to make it.”
“That’s good.” His grandmother poured herself a glass of red wine. She had one every night, almost without fail. “How is that young woman who lost her husband?”