by Mi Lei
"Sorry," the young man apologized, never taking his eyes off the patient. "Fuck!" he shouted as he saw the condition of the man in the bed. "Fang Mu, what happened to you?"
The patient smiled calmly. "Xiao Wang, did you bring me any clothes?"
Once again, Xiao Wang knew when to say nothing. The certainty of his discretion was precisely why Fang Mu had called him. But even tight-lipped Xiao Wang couldn't help but be curious how Fang Mu had ended up in such miserable shape.
On the road back to Changhong City, Fang Mu noticed Xiao Wang's constant glances in the rearview mirror. It made him smile, and that in turn caused the sutures on his scalp to burn with pain.
"Who did this to you?" the young officer finally asked.
Fang Mu shook his head, but didn't answer.
"Why didn't you ask the Municipal Bureau for help when you ran into trouble?" Xiao Wang handed him a cigarette. "This is part of our jurisdiction."
Fang Mu lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. "I didn't want to be a bother," he said as he slowly exhaled.
Put off by the flippant answer, Xiao Wang didn't ask again. He turned his eyes back to the road and stepped on the accelerator.
Noon had come and gone before they reached Changhong City. Even so, Fang Mu steadfastly refused to be invited to lunch and instead had Xiao Wang drop him off at home.
Back in a familiar city, back behind familiar walls and in front of his familiar bed, exhaustion soon overwhelmed him. Fang Mu let himself fall face first onto his pillow. He was asleep almost before he landed. When the incessant pain of his injuries finally woke him, it was already dusk.
He rested his weary body for a few more minutes, then he slipped out of bed and got himself two eggs from the refrigerator. He gave them a quick boil and then devoured them. No longer hungry, he was haunted by another craving and began searching his home. It seemed to take forever before he found a damp pack of cigarettes.
He sat down in the dark living room and lit a cigarette. He smoked in silence, savoring the constant sting of his many wounds.
Tomorrow, he was supposed to be back at work. It was a terrible thought; he just wanted to be alone, to sit there, in the darkness.
Over the years, he had grown strangely accustomed to facing his own mortality, and he'd always met his enemies head-on. No matter how brutal the opposition, he'd always fought to the bitter end.
But in front of the ancestral hall, he had backed down.
He had never imagined that people could be so willing to kill one of their own.
He'd never imagined that material desires could turn an entire village into monsters.
He'd never imagined that in a flash love could turn to murder.
He'd never imagined that so brazen of a crime could be so hard to prove.
And the unimaginable horror of it had paralyzed him. So, when Lu Dachun had taken his coat, pummeled him to within an inch of consciousness and finally pushed him out of the speeding truck, it hadn't even occurred to him to put up a fight.
He was now certain that in this human world – this dog-eat-dog world – money and violence were two sides of the same bloody coin.
It seemed that in the blink of an eye, all things had flipped. The underworld was on top now and his world, the world of day and laws, lay buried deep beneath the surface. Wrong had taken the place of right and monsters openly prowled the streets.
But if it had come to that, what difference did it make if he saved Old Xing?
If it had come to that, what difference did Ding Shucheng's sacrifice make?
And if it had come to that, what difference could the police make?
None at all.
Faced with Lu Tianchang's evil, he had chosen to live. And in the minutes before that decision, Lu Haitao had been murdered, murdered right in front of him, in front of a police officer.
That good-hearted, bright-eyed young man had put all his faith in him—and he had just let him get killed.
Fang Mu felt tears well up; finally, he cried.
Soon, the pack of cigarettes had turned into a pile of burned-out butts. Little else had changed. Inside his mind, he was still wielding his conscience like a whip, lashing out against everything he was and had become. Maybe, his old friend Tai Wei had just been polite: The question was not whether he was suited to be a policeman, but if he was worthy of being an officer. And right at that moment, he knew exactly how to answer that question.
Then again, perhaps it had all been destined to happen anyway. Old Xing had always been doomed to go to jail; Ding Shucheng had always been doomed to be killed; Lu Haitao had always been destined to learn the truth and then be murdered; Lu Haiyan had always been doomed to allow the madness of the mob to turn her into a monster.
Well, why fight then?
Fang Mu needed a drink.
He had no alcohol at home, so Fang Mu very reluctantly decided to make a trip to the grocery store. As quickly as he could, he snatched two bottles of liquor from the store shelf and hurried to the check-out. He kept his head low and avoided all eye contact. As he threw the cashier the money, he noticed a telephone on the counter.
He stopped and hesitantly reached out for the receiver. A few numbers later and there was a voice on the other end of the line.
"Hello?" Sister Zhao sounded tired as always. There was another noise, perhaps the gurgling of water.
Fang Mu choked up. Tears tumbling from his eyes, he croaked a half-noise.
"Who's there?" Sister Zhao asked again.
It took him a good 10 seconds before Fang Mu managed to press out, "Eldest Sister, it is me."
"It is you. Are you back?" came Sister Zhao's cheerful response. "Where are you? What happened to your cell phone?"
"Eldest Sister, how is the girl?" Fang Mu stifled his sobs, desperate not to let her hear that he was crying.
"Very well. You left her with me, so don't tell me that you were worried." Sister Zhao was in high spirits.
"Not worried, not worried at all," Fang Mu hastily replied as he dried his tears. "Just please be sure that no one else sees her."
"Yes, yes, I haven't forgotten." She paused before softly continuing. "Fang Mu, I never know what you are up to, but if you don't want to tell me, I won't ask. I'm here for you, no matter what. Just be careful, all right?"
"Uh-huh, mhm." As Fang Mu nodded, his tears fell on the counter.
"Well… Wait a minute. Lu Lu is coming..." Sister Zhao's voice grew distant. "It's Uncle Fang, talk to him for a sec."
The speaker rustled. Then, he could hear soft, but rapid breathing on the other end of the line.
Fang Mu held his own breath, straining his ear against the phone.
"What is it? Say something," Sister Zhao urged her on.
"How are you, Lu Lu?" Somehow Fang Mu managed to keep his voice from cracking. He knew that she couldn't see him, but he still gave her the best smile he could muster.
The child remained silent.
"Listen to Auntie Zhao… Soon Uncle will come to pick you up..." Fang Mu struggled to think of things to say. "You can go to school… Everything will get better..."
"Thank you." Her voice was soft, but clear. Then she hung up the phone.
Thank you? Stunned, Fang Mu clung to the receiver.
Several long moments passed. In a daze, he turned, letting his gaze wander over the food, the drinks, the notebooks, and scissors. He stopped at the shopkeeper's face.
Fang Mu stared at him blankly, desperately seeking confirmation: Had that child just really said Thank you?
The confused shopkeeper stretched out his hand. "One yuan please. For the call."
Fang Mu was still in a stupor as he left the store and completely unaware that he was walking away from home. At first he jogged, and then he began to run.
He ran past avenues glittering with light, past dark alleys, past the bustle of downtown, past undeveloped land.
He ran until his throat burned, until he had exhausted it all. It was then that he realized that he wa
s still holding a bottle of liquor in each hand.
Struggling for air, Fang Mu threw his back against a telephone pole. Once he caught his breath, he took two steps back and smashed the bottles against the pole.
As the sweet smell of alcohol engulfed him, he raised his face to the heavens and sent a deafening scream to the dark clouds gathered above the city.
I want to make all wrongs right!
I want to turn an upside-down world around!
I want to send the demons to hell!
Because...
It is my responsibility.
It is my duty.
It is me, Fang Mu.
At dawn, Fang Mu went to work. In the Bureau, his first stop was Bian Ping. He wanted to learn how the case had progressed in his absence.
Fang Mu could see the shock on Bian Ping's face the moment he opened the door. He didn't want to explain and just told the chief that he had been in a traffic accident. It was an obvious lie, but Bian Ping let it slide.
Not much had moved in the case. Now that they knew that Xing Zhisen had planned to kill someone, the focus of the investigation team had shifted considerably: Their biggest concern had become staying out of trouble—doubly so after Zheng Lin and his men had been suspended. Under pressure from the Political and Legal Affairs Committee, the Municipal Bureau had readied the files for transfer to the Procuratorate.
Fang Mu had suspected as much, but Bian Ping's account still left him feeling disheartened. Now that they no longer had a personal stake in the matter, his fellow officers had chosen silence and retreat; in comparison Zheng Lin's rash actions seemed almost respectable.
Next, Fang Mu made his way straight to Records, where he found no surprises, either. Almost no one in Lu Village had been properly registered. Lu Tianchang was no megalomaniac; he really had the power to make Lu Haitao and Lu Sanqiang disappear.
It was almost too ridiculous to comprehend, but he probably owed his life to his national identification card.
The thought of his ID card reminded Fang Mu that he had yet to take stock of all the things he had lost to that village. His camera and other possessions were write-offs, but he would definitely have to get around to applying for a new identification card. He also needed a new cell phone.
The wound on his left leg, inflicted by Lu Haitao as he desperately clung to him, still made every step hurt. As things stood, it would probably not be a good idea for him to drive.
Luckily, just as Fang Mu walked out the Bureau's front door, Xiao Wang arrived in his car. Fang Mu signaled him to lower the window.
After a quick exchange of greetings, Xiao Wang asked him, "Where are you headed?"
"The Bureau Branch Office," Fang Mu replied. Leaning in, he added, "I lost my ID card."
Xiao Wang didn't need to hear more. He opened the passenger door and said, "Get in."
The Branch Office was packed. Fang Mu and Xiao Wang waited in line for what seemed like forever just to inch a step closer to the counter. Fed up, Fang Mu found a familiar face among the staff. Mere minutes later, he had his application forms in hand and was ready for his photo. The officer taking his picture noticed his many bruises and gave him a frown. There was a bit of back and forth between them and the officers before his acquaintance suggested they touch-up the photo to hide Fang Mu's injuries. They all quickly agreed.
On their way out of the Branch Office, Xiao Wang asked him, "Back to the Bureau or do you want to head home?"
"Neither." Fang Mu took a few bills from his pocket. Counting them, he said, "I'm going to buy myself a cell phone."
"What happened to your old phone?" For once, curiosity got the better of Xiao Wang.
"I lost it," Fang Mu replied with a shrug.
"Well, fuck." Xiao Wang started the car. "That's why I didn't get through earlier."
Before buying the actual phone, Fang Mu got himself a new SIM card. They then drove to the mall. Fang Mu quickly picked out a cell phone and went to pay. When he returned from the register, he saw that Xiao Wang was playing with Fang Mu's new phone.
"Why buy the same old model again?" Xiao Wang asked, pursing his lips. "Do you need money? I have a bit on me."
"Yeah, that's definitely part of it," Fang Mu replied with a laugh. He opened the back of the phone and inserted the SIM card. "You know me. I like things I know, and I don't like to change."
"Boy, oh boy." Xiao Wang smiled. "An old cell phone and an old 54; you really fight to stay behind the times."
It was already evening when they left the store. In the car, Fang Mu took out his new phone. Lost in thought, he stared at its dark screen.
The two pictures Lu Haitao sent him had been blurry, but they certainly could have been digitally enhanced; perhaps then he could have learned what secret the young man had uncovered. But that hope had died.
Xiao Wang noticed Fang Mu's glum expression and quietly asked, "You wanna go for a drink?"
It sounded like the perfect cure. With a smile Fang Mu agreed. "Excellent."
Xiao Wang picked out a rather classy bar for them. After Fang Mu had recovered from the shock of seeing the price list, he was pleasantly surprised by the tranquil ambiance and lack of other patrons.
As soon as they had their drinks, Fang Mu dedicated himself completely to his beer. His plan was soon foiled by Xiao Wang's curious glances. So instead, he spent the evening with friendly banter. By the seventh or eighth bottle, the conversation had gotten lively.
"Whatever were you up to?" Xiao Wang flicked Fang Mu a cigarette and then lit one for himself. "Still investigating Old Xing's case?"
Fang Mu smacked his lips as he considered what to answer.
"You're really determined, you know that?" Xiao Wang smiled. "Not many like you left these days."
"I don't know about that." Fang Mu stretched his legs and immediately he felt the dull ache of his injuries. "Aren't we all investigating the case?"
"You're talking about the investigation team?" Xiao Wang asked with a snort. "Only the name's left of that."
"Oh?" Fang Mu struggled to focus.
"With things being as they are, who would want to stir the pot? Zheng Lin and his guys did, and look what that got them? It's all over." Xiao Wang poured them both another glass. "If you continue looking into the case, people will look into you. In our line of work there isn't anyone without their faults, eh? But if we're always watching our backs, how do we get any work done?"
Fang Mu didn't reply, taking a big gulp from his glass instead. Xiao Wang was right, of course; there really was no choice at all: Risking everything for the chance of maybe helping a brother or keeping one's head down and staying safe.
"That's why I think," Xiao Wang said, topping off his glass, "you should let go of what needs letting go. I understand that you and Old Xing go way back, but you know what they say: 'Heaven may be forgiven for its iniquities, but man shall not live for his sins'. You and I, we have done all we can."
"In other words," Fang Mu said, watching the liquid rise in the glass, "you're not willing to help me?"
"Telling you to let it go is me helping you." Xiao Wang raised his voice. "And anyway, you're not willing to tell me anything, so how could I help you?"
Fang Mu scoured his addled mind for a clever retort, but in the end all he could come up with was, "Let's drink."
Later, after they had paid their tab, Xiao Wang suddenly remembered something. "Oh right, I almost forgot to tell you; I transferred to your Bureau."
"Oh?" Fang Mu leaned forward. "When did this happen?"
"A few days ago. There's still a few formalities I need to deal with before it's final," he said with a smile. "Moving on up; I guess the powers-that-be have taken notice of me."
"Congratulations." Fang Mu knew that this was good news. "I'm sure they'll soon be hearing much more from you."
Xiao Wang could barely contain his excitement. "Actually, you're one of the reasons I wanted to transfer."
"Me?" Fang Mu stared at him in confusion.
"Uh-huh." Xiao Wang sat up straight, sounding more sober. "You're a rare talent. Together, we can do great things."
Fang Mu had to smile. "Dude, don't flatter me."
"I'm not." Xiao Wang shook his head. His tone was dead serious. "I know you. I was hoping you... No, I want you to promise me: Don't let your talents go to waste."
Fang Mu felt his face flush. He got up and said, "Hey, you're one of us now. No need to overdo it."
They were on their way to the door when they heard a commotion from the floor above. Fang Mu turned just in time to see a man roll down the staircase and land in the lobby with a heavy thump.
A group of youths rushed down the stairs after him. The man leading the charge was a massive fellow with a buzz cut and a tattoo of a fish on his left arm.
The youths surrounded the fallen man and immediately began kicking and punching their unfortunate victim.
The tattooed man cursed as he stomped down. "Freak! I'm gonna fuckin' kill you...!"
Fang Mu stepped forward to stop them, but he was held back by Xiao Wang.
"Look." Xiao Wang pointed at the battered man on the ground.
Fang Mu tried to catch sight of the man's face in between the legs and shuffling bodies. The moment he did, he felt his heart skip a beat.
It was the security guard from the Bay City Hotel, Jing Xu.
"That scumbag. He had it coming." Xiao Wang noted with a cruel smile. He grabbed a chair for himself, took out a cigarette and sat down. Slowly inhaling the smoke, he added, "I'll take it as payback for Zheng Lin and his men."
Fang Mu couldn't have cared less about Jing Xu, but he certainly had no desire to watch him being beaten to a pulp. He turned and quietly said to Xiao Wang, "Let's go."
"Not yet, not yet." Xiao Wang continued to watch with unbridled enthusiasm. "I'm enjoying this."
Deeply uncomfortable by the beating, Fang Mu averted his eyes. As he looked about the lobby, he noticed a young woman in a short skirt come down the stairs. She went straight for Jing Xu, lashing out at him with her handbag.