There was one thing he did have to say, though, and he couldn’t go on without letting it out.
“Look.” He cleared his throat. “That day we met… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume...”
Her face softened. “Thank you. People usually do. They think that I am not able to do things on my own.”
He nodded. Admitting he had been wrong was hard, but she deserved an apology. “Seeing you get on the horse today, it changed my mind. You’re determined. A fighter.”
“You have to be,” she simply said.
The firelight danced in her eyes, showing a maturity there that Beau hadn’t noticed before. Cadence couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, but there was real experience in those eyes.
Real pain.
A shiver wanted to run its way up Beau’s back, but he kept it suppressed and turned to gaze into the fire.
The song ended and another one began. Almost everyone seemed to know the words, the lyrics being something about a “bonny lass” coming home to her “beloved.”
The men sang loudly, shouting the words into the crisp air. Across the fire, Gemma stood up to dance. Her skirts twirled as she grabbed Clara’s hand, yanking the housekeeper to her feet.
The women spun around and around, the men clapping and stomping in time to the music. Out of the corner of his eye, Beau saw a smile stretch across Cadence’s face. Her hands lightly slapped against her knees and she swayed in her seat.
“Go dance.”
The grin dropped right off her face and she looked at him like he had gone crazy.
Beau stared straight at her, making sure she would receive the full effect of what he was about to say. “No one cares.”
Cadence’s eyes were sad. “What people think does not matter to me.”
“Then go dance. I can tell you want to.”
Her tongue darted out and ran across her bottom lip. Eyes flicked toward the dancing women. Hands twisted in her lap. A heavy beat passed, then she looked down, her shoulders slumped.
Beau’s chest felt so tight, he wanted to yell. For all Cadence’s talk of not caring what others thought, he knew she really did. Everyone did, even if only a little bit.
“How did it happen?” he softly asked, so others would not hear them.
Her mouth opened into a small circle, then closed again. She swallowed a few times.
Beau had just about realized he was going to have to apologize again when she finally spoke.
“It was a landslide. A rock fell on it. About six years ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
She offered a faint smile. “At least I survived. I suppose I am lucky for that.”
Was she lucky? Wouldn’t not being caught in the landslide at all been the real fortune?
Beau kept that thought to himself. Though he believed in God and an afterlife, he had trouble believing there was much holy intervention on earth. He’d seen too much pain and sorrow for it to be that simple. No, things were darn complicated.
“What about you?” Cadence asked.
“Huh?”
She lifted her chin. “I shared one thing about myself, so now, let’s hear something about you.”
Beau chuckled. “I didn’t realize I was walking into a trap.”
Her smile lit up her face a hundred times better than the fire ever could. “Come, now. One thing. Where are you from?”
“Cincinnati.” It had been so long since he’d said the word, it felt strange coming from his mouth. “Ohio.”
Cadence laughed. “I know where Cincinnati is! I am a schoolteacher, after all.”
“Sorry,” he grinned.
“And when did you come here?”
“A long time ago. You said one question. We were supposed to stop there.”
“Yes, that’s right. I got carried away.”
Nearby, Clara fanned her face with her hand. “Goodness, that warms a woman up. It’s long past time I went to bed.”
Somehow, despite her leg, Cadence was up as quick as a jackrabbit. “I will go with you!”
“No, dear,” Clara answered. “Don’t feel as if you need to accompany me. Stay and have fun.”
“No,” Cadence said, a hint of desperation in her voice. “I would like to go with you right now.”
Turning back to Beau, she gave him a quick look. “Goodnight.”
“’Night.”
He watched them disappear into the night, Cadence keeping close to Clara’s side. Had he said something wrong again? He’d made such an effort to apologize, only for Cadence to depart as soon as there was an opportunity.
Sighing, Beau stood and walked away from the fire himself, leaving the party without anyone taking note.
Chapter Nine
9. Cadence
Chapter nine
“The Spanish and Canada war!” Teddy shouted.
Cadence suppressed a smile. “Close, Teddy, but it is actually the Franco-Spanish war we will be discussing tomorrow. Those of you who have the history book, there is a page about it in chapter four. Please share it with the others. It is an easy segment you can all go over right now.”
One thing had been abundantly clear on the very first day of school: Shallow Springs possessed a disconcerting shortage of books. Those children whose families were lucky enough to afford supplies had them, but that covered only about fifty percent of the students. The others were out of luck. Without books to take home to study in the evenings, they were sure to have trouble keeping up in class.
Cadence was doing her best to remedy the situation, but it was not easy. In order to teach at a proper pace, she needed to assign homework. But she could not assign homework when half the children could not do it.
Taking a seat at her desk, Cadence rolled a pencil around and gave the conundrum some thought. Perhaps the school could have a fundraiser of some sort and raise money to buy the needed books. The only issue was that she did not wish to draw attention to the less-fortunate students. Being put on the spot for not living up to someone else’s standards was never enjoyable.
Oh, well. She would figure it out. Somehow. It was only her second day teaching and already, things were going considerably well. A couple of the older kids had come to school that day and they turned out to be more well-behaved than she had expected. Apparently, not all teenagers were unruly and looking for a place to get out their frustrations. Some truly wanted to learn.
The rest of the afternoon passed with math lessons. Cadence paired the children into different groups based on their levels and went around the class assigning and helping them all with equations. By the time three o’clock rolled around, she could hardly believe it. The second day was over. And yet, she was far from tired.
There was still so much that could be done. Surely, Clara and Gemma could do without her help at the ranch for one more hour. Going outside after the children had dispersed, Cadence checked on Pip before taking a short walk into the woods just outside of town. One subject they had yet to touch on in class was the exploration of the local environment. She was keen to see what the children knew about their surroundings, as well as to discover what they could teach each other. What local plants could be used as medicines? What was poisonous? These were just some of the questions she planned on asking the next day.
In the thin swatch of trees, she collected leaves and blades of grass. Wyoming seemed to have less of a selection than Maryland and much of the foliage had a dry quality to it. Though she herself knew very little about what she was doing, she was eager to glean information from the children, thinking that each person could share what bit of knowledge they had. With everyone’s information combined, surely, they would all learn something new.
With a cottonwood leaf, a juniper spring, and a thick handful of other leaves, branches, and grasses, Cadence floated back to the schoolhouse. There were some old newspapers there and she could secure her findings to one of the pages.
As she worked, setting out and rearranging the samples, she thought of the nigh
t before, of the fire crackling and the music flowing… And of Beau.
He had been so nice, so… considerate. It seemed oddly out of character. Of course, what did she know? Perhaps she had misjudged him after all and only assumed that he was rude and too quick with his tongue.
Perhaps she was the one who needed to rethink her methods. She had spent so long needing to defend herself, to strike at others before they had the chance to do it first, that acting that way was simply natural.
But maybe that time had come to an end. So far, Shallow Springs had been nothing but a warm and welcome place. A quick home filled with friends. Cadence truly was blessed.
Humming one of the songs from the night before, Cadence took her time securing the leaves and twigs to the paper. When she finished, she held it at arm’s length and admired her project.
Except… It was darker in the room. Much darker than when she had started.
When had it gotten so late?
Her heart pounding, she glanced out the window. The outlines of the trees were eerie in the dark gray yard. Rushing down the aisle, Cadence threw open the door. No!
Somehow, the sun had begun to set without her knowing. And although it was not fully dark yet, it would be in a matter of minutes. Oh, how had she become so carried away? Why had she not noticed how late it was?
Her hands trembled and she pressed them together. She needed to stay calm. It was only darkness. It was only night.
Except it was not. It was so much more than that. It was uncertainty. It was agony… Terror that could rip a person to shreds.
Pip was just a few yards away, right on the side of the building. But that was too far. She could not make it to him. Even if by some miracle she did, what then? Ride over a mile back to Winding Path Ranch?
No. She could not.
A whimper escaped her throat and Cadence clapped her hand over her mouth. Tears filled her eyes, but she pushed them back in. She had to be strong.
Fingers still trembling, she located the oil lamp in the back of the room. There were matches next to it, and all she had to do was…
The lamp was out of oil.
Cadence’s stomach plummeted. The dark pushed in around her, reaching out with its sharp claws, wanting to drag her away, wanting to make her scream until her throat was hoarse…
“It is only the dark,” she reminded herself.
Still, she could not move. She was trapped, immobile, paralyzed.
A heavy knock made her jump. Someone was at the door.
Finally, fresh air entered Cadence’s lungs. She was not alone anymore. Someone had come! It was likely one of the students, having forgotten something at school. What could she tell them? That she was terrified of the night?
Perhaps they could walk her to the hotel. She would stay the night there, surrounded by precious light and the company of other people.
“Yes?” she asked, flinging the door open.
Beau’s domineering figure took up most of the door frame. Cadence nearly stumbled back, the shock of seeing him was so great.
“Beau… what… what are you doing here?”
He lifted the lantern he carried, splashing light across his face and showing his frown. “Why are you still here?”
“I was working on a project. I lost track of time… I...”
Goodness, how grateful she was to see him! She couldn’t tell him that, though. Not a soul knew about the effect a dark night had on her. For so many years, she’d hidden her terror, rushing to finish her outside chores first, making sure to never leave the house past dusk. The night before, she had only gone down to the fire because Gemma and Clara flanked her. Even then, it had been difficult.
“We thought something had happened,” he angrily said. “We were worried.”
“I am sorry.” Her voice trembled and he softened, his shoulders dropping and his forehead smoothing.
“Come on. Let’s get on to the ranch.”
Cadence nodded, keeping back a sniffle. She had never been so happy to see him. If only he knew about what was going on, what would he think? That she was weak? Pathetic? All the things she was always trying not to be?
Face downcast, heart racing like a jack rabbit, she took her first hesitant step away from the schoolhouse.
Chapter Ten
10. Beau
Chapter ten
Cadence hovered on the schoolhouse’s steps, her hand clinging to the banister. Beau waited. Still, she did not move.
He opened his mouth to ask if everything was all right, then quickly shut it. Of course, things were not all right. Suddenly, it all made sense. Why she’d stayed at the schoolhouse even after she had finished her work. Why her eyes were so wide, her voice shaking.
She was afraid of the dark. No, not just afraid. Absolutely terrified.
The realization pressed hard against Beau’s heart, making him tired and angry. He knew what debilitating fears could do to people. They messed a soul up real good, made it hard to just go about daily life.
“Here. Hold this for me, will you?”
Cadence silently took the lantern from him, making sure to look away so that he wouldn’t see into her eyes. Likely, she was ashamed.
Going around the side of the schoolhouse, he fetched the horses, bringing them back to where Cadence waited.
“All right.” He gestured for the lantern. “Climb on up. You can carry the lantern… if that’s all right.”
Cadence’s gulp was loud, but she shuffled across the dirt, her limp seeming to be more prominent than usual. This time, though, she had no problem getting into Pip’s saddle, hauling herself into it with one good pull. Once she was settled, Beau handed her the lantern. As he did, his fingertips grazed against her cold ones.
“Best button up,” he instructed, nodding at her open coat. “It’s only going to get colder.”
She made a little noise of agreement, her fingers fumbling to secure her buttons. Her face was pale and ghostly in the lamplight, another sight that made Beau want to kick at the dirt in frustration.
“How was school?” he asked as he put Stetson into a walk. Pip clomped close to the palomino, so close that Cadence’s leg brushed against Beau’s. Still, she tried to get the horses even closer.
“Um?” Shoulders slouched, her eyes darted around, checking out every inch of the darkness. And they weren’t even out of town yet. Where they rode, there were numerous windows full of light. Soon, they would be out in the country, surrounded by a full, proper night. How would she react then?
Beau thought fast. He needed to distract her, get her mind off the dark.
“Has Nat told you about the time he got stuck in a hay bale?”
“What?”
That did it. Her face was turned to his, eyebrows raised in question.
“Last summer. He burrowed himself a hole into the side of one, so he could take a little nap during the day. While he was in there, a couple of the other fellas came and filled it in with hay, leaving him just so that his head was out. He was packed in there real tight, too.”
“He didn’t wake up?”
“Nat could sleep through a tornado.”
Cadence laughed. “Goodness. That is ridiculous.”
They were leaving Main Street. A piece of wood cracked in the night and Cadence sat up straighter, anxiety practically ricocheting off her.
“Probably a fox,” Beau commented. “I saw one when I was heading into town.”
“Oh.” She offered him a smile, but it was fake.
They rode on a few more minutes, Cadence staying just as close to Beau as she could get. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, taking note of her tight hold on Pip’s reins. Where had her fear of the dark come from? Did it have to do with the landslide that damaged her leg?
Or did Cadence possess more than one story of pain? Was she full of secrets that he would never be privy to, stories of sadness that would rival his own?
His tongue burned with the need to ask, but he wouldn’t let that happen.
He would regret it. Burdening himself with her pain would get him nowhere. It would just drag him down, chain him to another person.
The worst part of it all was that he wanted to help. Whatever it was that made Cadence’s heart ache, he wanted to chase it away.
“Tell me another story,” she rasped, staring at the road in front of them, holding the lantern up high.
Her Wild Journey_Seeing Ranch series Page 6