“They are happy together,” Clara agreed. “Do you miss your boyfriend?”
“No. Things between us ended badly. You know how it goes.”
She really didn’t. “At least you were in love once though, yes?”
“Yes.”
“That is a lucky thing.”
Lilly blinked. Blinked again as her eyes watered.
Immediately, Clara felt ashamed. Obviously any conversation that made Lilly think of her losses was a bad idea. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I speak before thinking, too. I was just imagining how nice it would have been to know you were loved, at least for a little while.” She rolled her eyes. “Now I sound like a terribly sad sort, don’t I?”
She looked up to see Lilly blinking back tears.
“I’m crying because I realize you’re right. I’ve been going through so much pain, I forgot to think about the good things that had happened to get me to this place. Back when Alec and I were together, all he had to do was look my way and I’d be so happy. I’d forgotten that.”
“Still, I am sorry to make you cry.”
“Don’t be.” Lilly swiped a cheek with one hand. “What are you doing? Out for a walk, too?”
“Oh, no. I am on my way home from work. I’m a schoolteacher.”
“That’s an awesome job. Do you love it?”
“I do. I love it very much.”
“I’m only waitressing at the Sugarcreek Inn. Do you ever go there to eat? I don’t think I’ve seen you there.”
“No. My mother and I are on a tight budget, I’m afraid. We don’t have too many opportunities to eat out.”
“Well, usually I work the lunch shift. This summer, if you ever want a piece of pie, come in. It will be my treat.”
“I couldn’t…”
“Sure you could. Gretta’s there. You could visit with her.”
“I suppose.”
“Well, come in. It’s the least I can do,” Lilly said as she pulled her shoes closer and slipped them on. After quickly tying them, she stood up. “It was nice to meet you.”
“I hope to see you again.”
“Me too.” She brushed her hair from her face. “Well, I better get going. I need to water the garden and finish cleaning up before my little brother comes home.”
And before Clara could say a word to that, Lilly turned and walked away.
Clara got up far slower. After shouldering her bag, she walked in the opposite direction. Thinking about Lilly’s words. How she’d said the scars made the rest of her look pretty. About her offer for free pie.
About her gratitude for the reminder her that it was a good thing to love…even if it didn’t work out.
Suddenly, she wondered if maybe her thoughts about Tim hadn’t been quite so foolish after all.
Chapter 10
All weekend, Monday, and into Tuesday, Ruby’s letter burned a hole in Tim’s pocket. As was his usual habit, he’d slipped it there so it would be easy to refer to when he wrote Ruby back.
But so far, he hadn’t been able to open the envelope again.
Timothy felt shamed as he recalled the look Clara had given him the moment Caleb had started to announce that Ruby had sent him another letter. Tim should have been pleased that Ruby had written him again. He should have been eager to read her note. Instead, he’d been embarrassed.
Soon after, Clara had walked home with her mother and the rest of the family had gone back inside to give him some privacy. He hadn’t been looking for it. With a great reluctance, he’d ripped open the flap of the envelope, nearly tearing the letter written on simple notebook paper inside. How different that was from when he received his first letters from Ruby. Just a few weeks ago, he’d gently opened the envelopes, carefully smoothed out the creases from the paper, read each sentence like it was a special gift.
Greetings, Timothy, she’d written. Are you all right? I have not received a letter from you in four days.
With some regret, Tim knew she’d have to wait even more days. He’d only sent off his second letter in ten days yesterday.
I miss you. When do you plan to visit your parents? Or, can you have company? Perhaps I could come see you.
One thing he knew for sure, he didn’t want her to come to Sugarcreek.
Why didn’t he want her there? She’d had his heart. At least, she’d thought she had. But now all his thoughts seemed to center around a far different sort of woman. Had his feelings really changed that quickly? Or was he simply infatuated with someone different? What would he want to do when he got home? How could he not want Ruby Lee then?
In spurts, he finished the note yet again, taking time between each paragraph to look out in the dark distance. The nearby lantern cast golden shadows across the page, blurring the words, bringing them in and out of focus. Tim thought the light was fitting. It was also how he felt, even now, several days later…confused about his feelings toward Ruby.
Like a thief in the night, he started when the door opened. Prepared to see his uncle Frank, he was surprised to see Joshua instead. He and Gretta had come over for dinner again.
“Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all,” he said as he hastily stuffed the letter back into its envelope. “I would have thought you and Gretta would be on your way by now.”
“Gretta decided she wanted to stay the night here. Even though it’s a Tuesday night, and we’ll have to get up early in the morning to open the store, I was happy to agree. It’s nice to have some time with everyone that is unhurried.”
Tim nodded. Not knowing what else to say, he tried to smooth the crumbled envelope a bit, then giving up, set it beside him.
Joshua watched, smiling.
“Are you amused at something?”
“Only that you are reminding me a bit of myself.”
“How’s that?”
“I can tell you’re feeling torn.”
Tim didn’t appreciate the comment. He didn’t want to think about how his feelings toward Ruby were changing. It made him feel guilty. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re referring to. Ruby and I are fine.”
“Oh, jah. I imagine you are. My mistake.” He shook his head. “Sorry. I guess I had just thought on Saturday night I saw something between you and…never mind.”
“Were you thinking there was something special between Clara and me?”
“I was,” Joshua replied slowly. “But, like you said, I must have been wrong. It doesn’t matter what I was thinking.”
“Clara is a nice woman, but she and I are just friends.”
“She is nice.” Narrowing his eyes, Joshua looked him over. “It’s none of my business, but the way she was looking at you looked like something else. Something more than friendship.”
“We only took a walk.”
Joshua held up his hands in surrender. “Again, this was my mistake. I apologize. I didn’t mean to come out here to make you upset.”
“You didn’t upset me.”
Warily, Joshua looked him over. Tim looked away, knowing what his tone sounded like. Mad and irritated. Like he was completely overreacting.
Which he was.
Joshua sat down on the porch and kicked out his legs. “Actually, I came out here to try to lend you support.”
“For what?”
“Just a couple of months ago, I was wondering if Gretta and I were meant to be together. I thought that perhaps we’d grown apart.”
In spite of himself, Tim’s interest was sparked. “What happened?”
“Well, Gretta and I had been friends and sweethearts for a long time. Years. Maybe just like you and Ruby. But when we got new neighbors, I found myself thinking about another person. A person who wasn’t even Amish.”
“Did you think about courting her?”
“Not really. I liked her not because she was so different from me,” he said thoughtfully. “It was because she brought out something new inside of me. She made me think that there was more to me than I’d originally thought. More to me than G
retta had ever guessed. I didn’t want to give that up.”
Thinking about his time spent with Clara, Tim understood his cousin’s words. “How did you deal with it?”
“Not very well. I was ashamed about my feelings. Worse, I didn’t immediately consider that Gretta might be thinking the same thing. When I did, I suggested we take a break.”
In spite of his intentions to remain aloof, Tim was drawn in. “Did she agree to that?”
“You know what? She did.” Joshua shook his head. “And at first, I wasn’t very happy about that. I guess part of me wanted her to be miserable without me. When she wasn’t, when she almost seemed relieved not to have to deal with me all the time, why I got a little jealous.”
“Then what happened?”
“Finally, we started talking about things. About things we thought we already knew about each other. And about things that mattered to us, in our hearts. I learned that there was much more to Gretta than met the eye.” He stretched, a funny smile on his face, like he was recalling each word they’d exchanged. “I guess I sound really girlish, huh?”
“Not at all. Did all this talking help?”
“It did. Before too much time passed, we grew to truly love each other, that’s what happened,” Josh said with a smile. “We found love when we thought we were finding something else.”
Tim didn’t know if that was in the future for him and Ruby. “And are you happy about that?”
“Happy? Why, of course I am. My wedding day was the happiest of my life.”
“And you’ve had no regrets.”
“No. But…remember what I said. This didn’t come easily. I think the Lord put obstacles in our way just so we’d think about those things before vowing to love each other for the rest of our lives. And Gretta feels the same way. We’re happy.”
Recalling the ease in which the two newlyweds acted together…and the obvious love they shared, Tim knew that to be true. “Thanks, Joshua. For sharing.”
“Thanks for listening.” Climbing to his feet, Josh yawned. “It’s getting late and we’re going to have to leave at dawn in order to prepare the store for shoppers tomorrow. I’m going to go see if Gretta’s ready for bed.”
He left Tim’s side. So his only company was the lantern once again. But since it only illuminate his feelings of loss, Tim felt even more confused.
Because as much as he was trying to hide his feelings from everyone, the truth seemed to be shining through more brightly than ever. He was falling out of love with Ruby. Or, perhaps he’d never even been in love and he was just now seeing that. What was worse was that Ruby Lee didn’t even know it.
It certainly didn’t seem fair.
As he continued to reflect, he realized that there was one good solution. Perhaps Ruby should come to Sugarcreek to visit, after all. Maybe they needed some time together like Joshua and Gretta had. Maybe they needed time to talk and sort things out.
Then his feelings would come back and all would be well again. Now he knew what he had to do.
On Wednesday morning, he pulled out a sheet of notebook paper and finally wrote Ruby back. He told her he missed her.
And then he invited her to come see him.
Chapter 11
“Guder Mariye, Miss Slabaugh,” Anson said brightly on Friday morning, almost a full week after she’d dined at his home. “It’s a nice day out, jah?” he asked as he set his lunch pail on the bench with a clatter, hastily pushed his coat on a hook and then raced to his desk. The moment he stopped he dropped his books on the wooden top with a thump.
Clara watched it all with some misgiving. Anson was a very enthusiastic boy, that was true. But never in the two years that she’d been teaching him had he ever been so…exuberant. “Good morning, to you, too,” she said slowly. “You seem to be in fine spirits today.”
“Oh, I am.”
“Is it because it’s Friday?”
He blinked. “Oh, I don’t know.”
“I see.” She turned away from him and pulled out her notes for the day’s lessons. Actually, she didn’t understand what was going on with him at all. But if there was one thing she’d learned during her two years it was that children’s thoughts didn’t always make the most sense.
And that sooner or later they’d say what was on their minds. It wasn’t in their nature to hold secrets for long.
As she’d half expected, Anson started talking again. “Me and Ty tried to fish yesterday afternoon but we didn’t catch nothing.”
“Where did you go?”
“To the creek. There’s some fish there, but not always.”
Their creek fluctuated in water levels very much. “There will be more fish when the rains come, I imagine.”
“Yep. That’s what I told Ty. Then we’ll be able to bring home dinner one night for our families.”
Because he was so cute, she couldn’t resist teasing him. “You’re going to need a lot of fish for your family, Anson.”
“Don’t I know it!”
“Well, perhaps you’ll get luckier next time?”
“Maybe. Cousin Tim said he thought the water was so cold, the fish didn’t want to bite.”
Even hearing Tim’s name from her student’s mouth made her pulse jump a bit. “I imagine your cousin might be right about that.”
“I bet he is. Cousin Timothy is a smart man.”
“Yes, he is.”
“He’s nice, too.”
“I thought so as well.” She looked at him curiously. “Anson, you are here awfully early today. Was there something you wanted to speak with me about? Perhaps you forgot to do your homework?”
His eyes widened to saucers. “Oh, no, teacher. I did my report. I wrote it out neatly before Ty and me went fishing.”
“I am sorry I doubted you. And truthfully, I am very glad to see you. I like talking with you.”
He brightened. “I like talking with you, too.”
“Since you are here, perhaps you could help me prepare for today’s lessons?”
“What? Oh, sure.”
He answered agreeably enough, but something was not quite right, Clara thought. His feet were sluggish as he walked by her side to the table in the back. “Anson, we will begin studying states and capitals today. I have postcards for everyone. Please put one on each person’s desk.”
As she’d hoped, the new assignment brought a renewed interest. Looking at the stack of bright postcards in her hands, he looked at them in wonder. “Are these real postcards?”
“Of course they are. And even better, there’s one postcard from every one of our fifty states.”
“Even Alaska?”
She couldn’t resist smiling. “Even Alaska. Hawaii, too.” With a little bow, she handed them to him.
He clutched them eagerly. “How did you get so many? Have you visited all these places?”
“Of course not. I’ve never been farther than Columbus.”
“Did you order them?”
“Oh, Anson. You are such an impatient boy. Look on the other side of the top one.”
When he flipped one over, his mouth opened in surprise. “Miss Slabaugh, this person wrote you a letter from Wyoming.”
“Yes, he did. From Cheyenne, I believe.”
“How do you know him?
“Only a little bit. He’s a pen pal to me. I have some friends who passed on my postcard to him. Other places, I simply wrote a city’s chamber of commerce and they passed on my note to someone. It was exciting to see who all received my postcards.”
“Wow.”
“Soon, you will have a pen pal, too.”
“From where?”
“From whatever state you write to. I want you to pick one of the states and place that postcard on your desk.”
“I can choose?”
“Indeed you may. That’s your treat for getting here so early.”
Clara pretended not to notice that Anson strode over to his desk and carefully slapped the Wyoming postcard in the very center. “Pass
them out as quickly as you can, Anson,” she said. “I see that the rest of our class is on their way in.”
With a renewed determination, he set card after card on the desks. She was just about to greet the other students when he called out.
“Miss Slabaugh, I think my Cousin Tim fancies you.”
Hope and embarrassment crashed into her. Struggling to keep those emotions to herself, she looked at the boy sternly. “That is not appropriate conversation for school, Anson.”
“That is why I came early, but I was neahfich—nervous about telling you.”
Gently, she went to his side. “You were most likely neahfich because Tim’s business is not yours to tell.”
He shook his head. “No, that’s not why. I was just anxious to tell you. You should visit us again.”
Hesitantly, she ventured, “Someone told me that Tim might have a sweetheart already, and that they write to each other often.”
“Oh, they do, but Tim wasn’t too happy about receiving Ruby’s last letter.”
So her mother’s information had been true. “I’m sure he was. Everyone enjoys getting mail,” she said brightly. “Besides, we don’t know what his mood about the letter has to do with me.” She neglected to point out the obvious, but tried to gently allude to it, just the same. “I promise you, a man like Timothy Graber would not be interested in a woman like me.”
“But you two went walking.”
“I know we did. But just because we went out for a walk doesn’t mean we’re anything more than friends.”
“You sure?”
“Jah.” Too torn to attempt to worry about saying anything else, she turned from Anson just as a group of eight children entered in a rush, all smiles and laughter and noise. Clara greeted each child, hugged two of the little girls who ran to her, and then with a smile, directed all questions about the postcards to Anson.
He would enjoy the attention, and their questions would prevent him from saying anything more about her and Tim. By now she was sure there never would be anything between them.
Most likely, it had been the moonlight and fireflies that had made her even imagine anything ever could be.
Seasons of Sugarcreek 02. Spring's Renewal Page 8