"You're not even worth me scuffing up my damn sneakers." He spits at me, and it lands on my arm cradling my ribs.
The car starts, and I don't move for a few minutes after it pulls away. When I get up, I wince and look back down the road to my left. Screw this.
I start to walk and pull out my phone to text Jax.
I’m coming to see you. I ran into Tony it got bad. I need you.
Tears stream down my face from the ache in my side, the cut on my lip burns and I'm starting to feel nauseous from the pain. I hate feeling so weak and needing him, I haven't needed anyone in a while. At the same time, I want him to be there for me, and I want to be able to lean on him.
The gate comes into view, and I see Mikey at the gate. "I…need…to…see…Wrench." I have to take a breath between each word, but it's like I'm never actually able to fill my lungs with air.
"Shit, we're on lockdown." He looks around, but no one is outside. "Let me call." He turns his back on me, and with the wind, I can't hear anything that's being said. When he faces me again, I already know what he's going to say. "I can't let you in right now. Want me to call a cab or something for you?"
"No." I want to be pissed, but I don't even have the energy for anger right now. I start to walk away and pull out my phone to call for a ride. There's no way I can walk like this. I dial a few numbers before it dies, the screen going black. I start to laugh, but it hurts. "I swear to God if it starts to rain I'm done."
I see the bar I passed on the way and decide to stop in and ask to use their phone. Bikes and pickup trucks fill the lot as music blares from the open windows and smoke billows out of the screens. The door creaks as I open it and all eyes turn to me.
Walking up to the bar, I ask the bartender to use their phone and call a cab. The dispatcher says it will be around twenty minutes to half hour. “Thank you,” I say to the older man.
He gives me a kind smile and a nod before walking away.
"You look like you could never belong in a place like this even if you tried. But I gotta say I'm damn glad you walked through that door, doll." I look over and see a guy who has to be over six feet, he has a long beard and tattoos cover every inch of skin I see except for his face. His eyes study me, and I instantly want to cover myself. Looking around, I think I might have almost been better off trying to walk home or hitchhiking.
“Sorry, I have a boyfriend.” I look away hoping that would be enough to get him to back off.
“Yeah, well if he’s lettin’ you in a place like this without him, he’s a fool. Besides what he don’t know won’t hurt him.” He places his hand on my lower back and my stomach rolls.
"You know, I think my ride is here." I stand up and try to walk out of the door instead of running like everything inside of me is screaming to do. I hear some guys laughing as I walk toward the door, but I don't look back.
Walking toward the road, I can hear heavy footsteps behind me. I say a silent prayer that it's just a coincidence and someone is walking to their car. Leaning against a short wall that surrounds the parking lot I refuse to look back as I shake from the cold air, and uneasiness I feel.
“Where you runnin’ to so quick?” The voice from the bar sounds from behind me.
Shit.
I turn to see him standing less than a foot behind me. The stench of cigarettes and whiskey is so strong that I feel like I’m choking on it.
“Just need to get home.” I look away from him, begging for my luck to take a turn for the better tonight.
"Well, let me take you there then." His voice is hard, and it doesn't sound like he's asking.
My eyes close as I hope for some kind of divine intervention.
Chapter Seventeen
Wrench
“Brother, you busy?” I look up and see Torch.
“Just trying to figure out this shit. It’s like a damn ghost opened this account. It’s under some dead girl’s name.” I turn my chair toward him.
"Yeah, well, let me know if you need help with anything. Pres wanted me to come find you." He leans against the door frame. "Apparently Carly came by, Mikey called Pres, but he said with the lockdown he couldn't have her in here."
She was here? Why? I grab my phone to call her and see a missed text.
I’m coming to see you. I ran into Tony it got bad. I need you.
“Fuck!” I stand up and head for the door.
“You can’t leave. Remember no one in or out?” Torch places a hand on my arm in an attempt to stop me.
“Fuck the lockdown. She’s hurt. She came to me for help.” I push past him. “I’ll mow the fucking gate down if I need to.”
"Shit, I'll tell him to open it up for you." He gets out of my way, making the smart decision just to let me go at this point.
I swear to God if that asshole laid a hand on her, I'll strangle the life out of him myself. Heading toward her house, I catch sight of her in the parking lot of Jimmy's. What the hell is she doing here? The boys come here sometimes when we feel like getting out of the clubhouse, but it's no place for her.
I pull my bike in to see some asshole hassling her and following her through the lot as she moves in between cars. She seems to be moving slow and purposefully like she’s hurt. Fire runs through my veins as he reaches out and grabs her arm, pulling her to him as she winces.
He’s a dead man.
I hear a bike coming as I’m hopping off mine. Torch pulls up next to me following my line of sight. “Fuck.”
I hear him behind me as I move faster. Carly’s eyes find me and relief fills her face. He looks back at me and laughs. “Sorry, boys this one is taken.”
“Yeah, she is.” I close the distance between us. “By me, so you need to get the fuck away from her.”
He turns around, his eyes going to my cut. “Nah, I checked, she ain’t got a brand or a jacket.”
"Don't give a shit. I'm fucking telling you she's mine, now back off or you won't be able to walk away." Torch is at my back, and I know that this guy wouldn't stand a chance against us.
He pauses like he's trying to weigh his options, but pretty soon I'm not going to give him a goddamn choice. "Fuckin' pussy ain't worth this shit."
He couldn't be smart enough to walk away without running his goddamn mouth. I take a step in front of him, and without saying a word, my fist connects with his jaw. He goes down like a big pile of bricks.
I walk over to Carly who still isn’t even standing up straight. “What happened?”
I look back, and Torch is still watching us.
"I was walking home after lunch because Izzy got taken back to the club and Jess had a family emergency. Tony pulled up next to me, and when he started in on me, I couldn't help myself, and I told him to go fuck himself." Torch laughs, and I hold it in as best I can. My girl has a fire in her, and I love it. "He really didn't appreciate that. He hit me so hard that I fell to the ground and then he kicked my side a few times."
Every muscle inside of me tenses with the need to kill that bastard.
Torch steps to my side. " I know exactly what you're feeling right now. You need to think about a few things though. One, your girl is hurt that should be your first priority. Two, you need to play this smart and find a way to get the club on your side, or you'll create more shit than you solve." I nod, knowing that he's right. "You need a pass for the night? I'll cover for you."
“Appreciate that, man.” I look over at Carly. “You think you can ride on my bike?”
Her eyes widen at my question. “I-I’m not sure. I thought I wasn’t supposed to be on your bike.”
Torch looks at me. We both know she's right, but I couldn't care less.
“You don’t look like you can. I’m calling a cab for you, then I’m following it.” I turn to Torch. “Cover for me ‘til tomorrow?”
He claps me on the back. "You go, brother. Don't forget we have church again at noon though."
“Got it.” I pull out my phone and call a cab, then turn back to Carly. The way she’s hunch
ed over, she really looks like she could have a broken rib. I need to see if Doc can come see her.
“Hello?” His voice sounds like I just woke him up which is great because he’s a cranky bastard on the regular.
“Doc, I need a favor.”
He laughs. "What else is new. It's not a favor though because it isn't free. I'll make my way to the clubhouse."
"No, I'm not there. I need my girl checked out but we will be at her place, and this is on my tab, not the club's." The last thing I need is for this to get back to Pres right now.
“Fine. Send me a text with the address.”
Carly’s cab pulls up, I look over at her, pissed off at myself for letting this happen to her. “Let me help you.”
She waves me off though. “I have it.”
As much as I want to fight her on it, I let it go. I just want to get her back to the apartment and have Doc check her out.
She needs to know how much I care about her and that after seeing her hurt tonight, walking away is no longer an option.
I gave her up once all those years ago because I thought she didn’t want a relationship with me. Knowing that she does and I’m the one pushing her away has been a weight on my shoulders.
I have never cared about anyone like I do Carly.
I understand now the way the brothers act when it comes to their old ladies.
I’ll do anything for her at this point.
Chapter Eighteen
Carly
I hear the rumble of the motorcycle following us the entire way. I don’t really know how to react to him showing up. I wanted to find him tonight to tell him how I felt about him, but after being turned away and feeling so betrayed, I don’t know what I want anymore.
The cab stops in front of my apartment, and I get out not waiting for Wrench to get to me. I don't want his help right now. I wanted his help when I showed up at the gate before I was cornered by the giant in the parking lot. Then he showed up with the ‘she's mine’ stuff and it just made me pissed off. I'm not his, that's been made clear enough to me.
I walk into the building, and I can feel him behind me. The pain in my side has only gotten worse, and all I really want to do right now is lay down and sleep.
"I have Doc coming to check you out and make sure nothing is broken," he says from behind me, but I don't even want to look at him.
My head is screwed up right now, and I have no idea what to do. I know if I let go of all the doubts in my heart, I am already head over heels in love with him. The problem is that I can't let go of everything. I can't be with a man who has to hide me. I was already in a relationship where the person I loved was ashamed of me, and that is the most terrible feeling ever.
A knock sounds on my door and I move to answer it, but Jax steps in front of me. “I got the door, go sit down.”
“This is my place you don’t just get to—“
"You're fucking hurt, Carly. Stop being so goddamn stubborn and just let me make sure you're okay." His eyes are pleading with me even though his voice is an order.
“Fine.” I ease myself down onto the couch as he grabs the door.
An older man walks in, he and Wrench talk but I can't hear anything they're saying. "Okay, let's check you out, dear." He gives me a smile.
I nod.
“Go into another room, you know the drill.” He looks back at Wrench.
“Doc, I’m fine. Just let me—“
"Go now, or I don't check her out." He waves Wrench off, and the look on his face is priceless as he does what the older man says. When he turns back to me, he is smiling. "Can't ever have those boys in here when I'm checking you ladies out. Feels like a damn dog hovering over me, breathing down my neck. Don't know how you ladies tolerate it." He shakes his head, and I laugh. "Now I need you to lay down and pull your shirt up all the way to your bra."
I do as he says, wincing as I lay down.
He presses on different spots, taking mental notes as I react to the touch. When he asks me to take a deep breath, he seems to study how I react to it. His cold stethoscope sends goosebumps across my skin as he listens to my breathing.
"Okay, you can sit up now. Come back in!" He barely raises his voice and Wrench comes stomping in like a child coming back from time out. "I don't think they're broken. Definitely bruised, possibly cracked but without an X-ray, I can't be sure. Even if they're cracked, I can't do much for them. I'm going to give you a prescription for the pain and tell you to take it easy. No heavy lifting or exercising until you have no more pain. Wrapping your torso with an Ace bandage can help sometimes."
"Thank you so much." I start to stand up to say goodbye to him, but he shakes his head.
“You sit and rest.” He leans down patting me on the back. “I’ll send you the bill he says to Wrench as he walks away.
“You can go now, thank you for getting me home and calling Doc over here.” His head spins to me a look of surprise plastered on it.
“Not going anywhere, babe.”
"No!" He jumps at my tone. "You do not get to call me that, ever. I am not yours no matter what you told that Neanderthal in the parking lot. I wanted to be yours so fucking bad. I came to you tonight when I needed someone, and I was sent away. Then what? You regret it and decide to come after me? I refuse to keep playing this game with you."
"Can I get a damn word in, woman?" He sounds annoyed, but I don't give a crap. I arch an eyebrow at him as if anything he could say right now will make me feel any different than I do. "First, I had no damn clue that you came to the clubhouse tonight. I would have never sent you away, and I came looking for you as soon as I saw your message. Second, it's been fucking hell not having you with me and knowing I hurt you. I do not take that shit lightly. Last, you are mine. In every sense of the goddamn word, you're mine. I'm done fighting it, no more games."
I don’t know what to say at first. “I won’t be your secret.”
“Never what I wanted.” He sits down next to me. “I want to tell everyone you’re mine. Have you on the back of my bike like a damn trophy.”
“But, how can you? The club—“
"Let me handle that. We have church tomorrow at noon. I'll have more information for you then." His hand brushes my cheek, and I lean into his touch. "You're it for me, Carly. All I've ever wanted and so much more than I deserve."
My chest tightens hearing him say these things. It's all I wanted when I showed up tonight. I wanted to know that my heart wasn't wrong again. That this time it led me in the right direction and I wasn't going to get crushed again. "You need to know, this is it. I can't do a relationship filled with I'm sorrys and second chances again."
He leans down his lips pressing against mine, and I feel like all the air has been sucked from my body. My hand reaches up playing with the short hair at the back of his neck, my other planted on his hip and gripping it tightly. Maybe if I hold on, I won't lose him again.
“You have my word, right here, right now. I will spend every damn day making you happy.” He looks at me and seems to be fighting an internal struggle before he kneels in front of me.
No. Way.
He can’t be—
"Carly Ferguson, I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I'm not perfect, and I can't promise you that. I can promise you that I will care for you and spend every day of our lives making sure you're smiling. Things aren't always going to be easy, and I'm sure I'll screw up along the way. I will never let that affect us though, and I'll never stop loving you more tomorrow than I do today. I don't have a ring right now because I didn't plan this. Thing is, I believe in following your gut. My gut is telling me that there's no reason to wait on this because I know there's no way I plan to let you go. Say you'll be mine forever."
Oh, my God. Looking into his eyes, I see the boy I used to love like a brother, and the man I know in my heart I love today. "Yes."
It's all I can say before he leans up, crashing his lips to mine. "Fuckin' love you so much." He moves to pick me u
p, but I groan in pain. "Shit, sorry."
I smile at him. "I think I should just walk to the bedroom."
He grabs my arm to stop me from walking. "You sure? I don't want to hurt you, babe."
“I mean, I think if we move slowly it will be fine. Unless you don’t want to.” I smile at him.
“Hell no. Never gonna say no to that, babe.”
I laugh as he follows me to my room.
***
Waking up with Jax in my bed feels great. I barely slept because I was so uncomfortable all night but every time I woke up, I felt so much better being in his arms. Tony basically wanted a football field between us when we slept, with Jax if I got too far away, he’d just pull me closer or he’d move closer.
"Morning, beautiful," he whispers in my ears, and the smile that breaks out on my face is so big my cheeks hurt.
“Hey.” I tighten my arms around him almost afraid if I let go that he’ll disappear.
“I need to head to the clubhouse for church today, and you’re coming with me.” I look up at him completely confused. “One of two things are gonna happen today. Either you’ll be an old lady, or I’m gonna head to a different chapter.”
“Chapter? What does that mean?” Is he telling me he’s going to leave the club for me?
"Our club has been growing, and there are a couple different chapters that have formed. If the brothers here won't accept you, then I'm going to move to a new chapter where you didn't show up as a club girl, and I can claim you."
So if they say no today, he's going to leave town, and he wants me to go with him. I think about it for a minute, and even though I'm kind of annoyed that he didn't even ask me about leaving, the fact that he's willing to uproot everything he knows for me means a lot.
“Say something, babe. I know I’m just throwing this at you, but I told you last night I was all in. I meant it.”
I sit up and look at him. "I'm all in too, babe. Honestly, the only ties I have here are with Jess. I love that you are willing to do this for me."
Reckless (Deathstalkers MC Book 9) Page 7