by Levine, Nina
My lips spread into a smile. He’d been asking me for weeks now and I’d refused to tell him. I wanted him to be the one to choose. “It’s going to be a boring game then, Nash, because I’m not telling you.”
He tugged himself a little harder, teasing me because he knew I would want to be the one to do that. “Why won’t you tell me, baby?”
“Because I want your gift to be from your heart – something you think I would love and that you want me to have. I never want Christmas to become the kind of thing where we just shove lists at each other of what we want. Christmas isn’t supposed to be about the presents; it’s supposed to be about so much more than that.”
He listened to what I’d said, but the look in his eyes let me know I hadn’t convinced him. Letting go of himself, he walked around the chair to stand behind me. One of his arms snaked around my shoulders and his mouth dropped to my neck. Trailing kisses down my neck, he murmured, “I already give you the thing I want you to have everyday, and I’m gonna keep giving it to you until the day I stop breathing. And I’m pretty sure you love it, so it looks like I’ve got those things covered. All I need from you now, is to know one thing you really want, and I’ll make it my mission to ensure you unwrap it on Christmas Day.”
“Are we talking about what I think we’re talking about? The thing you give me every day, I mean.”
He chuckled near my ear. “Yeah, baby, we’re talking about my cock.”
I smiled, loving his playfulness. “I just wanted to be sure.”
The arm he had around my shoulders dropped so he could take hold of one of my breasts. Tweaking my nipple, he said, “You know how you said you wanted my cock in your mouth?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m not giving your mouth or your pussy my cock until I get an answer out of you.”
I scoffed. “I doubt you’ll be able to deny me, baby. Hell, I doubt you’ll be able to deny yourself.”
He pinched my nipple in the way he knew I loved. “I won’t have to deny either of us, Velvet. I’m going to take you to the edge and you’re going to beg me to fuck you right before you give me your answer.”
As he said that, he placed his free hand on my pussy and began rubbing my clit, while he continued to tease my nipples with his other hand. A moan escaped my lips and my eyes closed as my head dropped back.
The waves of pleasure he caused rolled through me, and I spread my legs to give him better access, however he had other ideas. “There’s no need to spread your legs because I have no intention of doing anything that would require them to be spread,” he said, and his tone made me rethink my earlier statement. Nash meant business.
He continued to tease me until he had me where he wanted me, and then he stopped to walk back around the chair and stand in front of me. His cock was rock hard and he took it in his hand and stroked himself. I held his eyes for a few moments before dropping my gaze to watch his hand on his dick.
“Do you want to touch now?” he asked, and I knew he had no intention of allowing that.
I shook my head. “No, I’m good.” They were the hardest words to say, because all I wanted to do in that moment was take hold of him and make him come.
He raised his brows. “I don’t believe you.”
I wiggled in the chair. The plastic wrap was so damn sticky in this heat and I began to crave my freedom, but there was no way I would admit that to him. Smiling, I said, “I’m happy just to watch.”
“Bull-fuckin’-shit,” he said, grabbing my hand and wrapping it around his cock. “That feels good, doesn’t it?”
Oh God, so good. My pussy clenched, and I experienced my first doubt that I’d win this game.
His hand wrapped around mine and he began moving both our hands up and down his dick. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Tell me what you want for Christmas so I can unwrap you and fuck you, sweet thing.”
The need in his voice matched my own, but I held my ground. Nash would have to work harder for this if he wanted it. “I’m not telling you, so you may as well unwrap me now and admit defeat. I win.”
He hissed, and moved our hands faster, moving him closer to orgasm. When he reached the edge, he groaned and let go of my hand, clearly not wanting to come yet. Dropping to his knees in front of me, he placed his hands on my thighs and dipped his face to my pussy. Running his tongue from one end to the other, he broke his declaration that he wouldn’t be doing anything that required my legs to be spread, and I wondered if I really would win this game. I should have known better.
Looking up at me, he said, “You ready to start talking or do you need some more encouragement?” As he said this, he ran his finger through my wetness, his touch feather-light – just hard enough to excite me but light enough to drive me wild. I tilted my pussy up, begging for his finger to slide through me again. The damn plastic wrap prohibited my movement – again - and frustration coursed through me.
Shit.
A satisfied look rested on his face, and he kicked his plan up another notch by pressing his lips to my thigh and whispering kisses over my skin, slowing his approach when he neared my pussy. He let his lips linger there for a beat, before kissing my swollen lips. My body arched when he took it a step further and pressed his tongue inside me.
Oh, holy God, yes.
I need more.
As fast as his tongue entered me, it left, and he sat back on his knees with a smug look. We watched each other for a few moments, neither wanting to cave. However, when he took his cock in his hand, I finally gave in. No way could I sit through watching him jerk off; I needed to be involved.
“You win, baby,” I said. “And because you’re making me do something I don’t want to do, it’s going to cost you. I want a weekend away with you and wherever we go has to have a day spa I can spend a whole day in being pampered. Dinner out is another must. And you’re going to cover the cost of all of that. Now unwrap me, and for the love of God, fuck me.”
A triumphant smile spread across his face, and he laughed. “Jesus, you took long enough, woman,” he said as he removed the plastic wrap.
He made quick work of the task and when he freed me, I slid off the chair and into his lap. Looping my arms around his neck, I said, “I like to make you work for stuff, Nash. You should know that by now.”
Nodding, he said, “Yeah, but who the fuck knows when a woman might change her mind and let a man have his way.” As he said this, he stood, and I clung to him as he walked us to the kitchen wall.
I loved the strength my man had; the way his muscles flexed when he lifted me. And the way he looked at me in that moment, as he pushed me up against the wall…that look was wild lust, feral need and absolute adoration all wrapped up in one. I was sure that if he’d just looked at me like that from the very first moment he bound me to the chair…I would have given him whatever he wanted.
“If you look at me like that, you can have anything,” I whispered as he bent his face close to mine.
“Like what?” he demanded, his lips brushing over mine in a kiss, and his teeth nipping at my lips.
“Like you want to fuck me both slow and hard all at once, and like you adore me.” I wound my fingers through his hair and pulled his face back so I could kiss him again.
When I ended the kiss, he stared into my eyes and said, “Trust me when I say, I want to fuck you every-which-fuckin’-way, sweet thing. There are not enough ways for me to fuck you and I’ll never get my fill of you.”
I squeezed my legs around him and tightened my arms around his neck. Our foreheads rested against each other’s for a moment while we caught our breath. And then he thrust inside me, all the way.
“Oh, God,” I moaned as my pussy pulsed around him. “Don’t fucking stop,” I panted.
He lifted his head so he could look into my eyes as he pulled out and thrust inside again on a grunt. “Fuck, Velvet…every fuckin’ time…you feel so good, baby.”
I knew this wouldn’t last long. He’d worked both of us to the point where we we
re ready to explode. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the ride as he slammed into me over and over. The sound of his grunts as he chased his orgasm turned me on the most; so raw and all Nash.
As I reached my climax, I dug my fingers into his back and cried out his name. He never failed to give me an amazing orgasm and today was no different. I clung to him as the pleasure consumed me.
He came a moment later and as his release shattered through him, he stilled and clung to me, too. It was always in those few moments, while we held onto each other, that I felt the closest to him - like we were one. In those moments, I felt like nothing could ever come between us.
“I love you,” he murmured when he lifted his head to look into my eyes.
Smiling, I placed my hand on his cheek, and said, “I love you, too. Even if you are a sneaky bastard.”
Chuckling, he let me down. “Some situations call for desperate measures.”
Shaking my head and laughing at him, I said, “Plastic wrap is pretty desperate, baby.”
He raised his brows. “That shit was hot. I’ll never look at plastic wrap the same.”
I bent to retrieve my clothes off the floor. “I’m gonna have a shower. Do you have to go back to work or do I get to keep you for longer?”
“Scott’s gonna text me when he needs me, so you’re stuck with me for a while.”
Grinning, I said, “I like being stuck with you.”
He slapped my ass. “Go turn on the shower; I’ll be there in a minute.” As I turned to leave, he called out, “And Velvet?”
I looked back at him. “Yeah?”
His eyes flashed desire again. “Get those lips ready, baby. My cock needs them.”
I loved how much my man needed me.
* * *
An hour later, we were finished in the shower, and Nash still hadn’t left to go back to work. While he’d taken a phone call, I’d curled up on the couch ready to watch some TV. He’d exhausted me with two rounds of sex, and I needed some time to recover.
“There you are,” he said, entering the living room. He sat next to me and lifted my legs onto his lap.
“Everything okay?” I asked, sleepily.
“Yeah,” he murmured, his gaze focused on mine. It seemed like he was going to say something else, but he didn’t.
“I think I’m going to have to take a nap,” I admitted. “You’ve worn me out.”
He began massaging my legs, and it felt so damn good and relaxing. My mind drifted off, almost asleep, when he said, “Is there something worrying you, sweet thing?”
My eyes snapped open. “Why?”
“You seem distracted, lately. I can’t put my finger on it, but it feels like you’ve got something going on in your mind that you’re not talking to me about. I know I’ve been caught up with club business, but I want you to talk to me about your stuff. I don’t want you to feel like I’m not interested or don’t have the time for that.”
I watched him for a moment, apprehension about having this conversation filling me. “I’m okay,” I said softly, deciding now was not the time to bring up my worries.
Concern etched his face. “I don’t believe you. You’re gonna have to give me something here, Velvet.”
Shit, he wasn’t going to let this go. Taking a deep breath, I admitted, “I’ve been thinking about my miscarriages a lot lately. With everything Harlow is going through it’s playing on my mind, and I can’t stop the thoughts.”
“What exactly are you thinking?” His hands kept massaging my legs and I desperately didn’t want to ruin this moment by opening up to him.
“Nothing really.” When he raised his brows at me as if to say, I still don’t believe you, I added, “It’s hard, that’s all. I hate being sad about it, but I don’t think that will ever go away.” I felt so bad even saying that to him, knowing what he’d lost in his life.
His hands stopped moving over my skin while he gave me his full attention. “Baby, why won’t you talk to me?”
I frowned. “I am talking to you.”
Shaking his head, he said, “No, words are coming out of your mouth, but I can tell they’re not the words you should be saying. There’s something else you’re keeping from me, and I want to know what it is.”
I sighed. “Trust me, Nash, you don’t want to hear this. Not today. Please just let it go, and I promise I will talk to you about it soon.” I was almost begging him, but I knew he wouldn’t accept what I’d said. However, I held my breath, hoping.
Determination flashed in his eyes. “I’m not letting it go, so start talking,” he demanded.
I stared at him for what felt like a long time, but what was probably only a minute or so. Taking a deep breath, I opened up. “I want kids,” I said softly, fearful of where this admission would lead us.
His eyes didn’t leave mine, but his shoulders tensed and his breathing slowed. “I didn’t think you could have kids,” he said slowly, and I sensed his hesitation to continue the conversation.
“I struggle to carry a baby to term and the doctor said I may never be able to have a child, but he didn’t say it was impossible.” I watched him, waiting for his reaction, not sure of what it would be.
His forehead creased in a frown. “So you’re saying you want kids now? As in soon?”
Oh hell, I’d opened a can of worms now. “No, I’m . . .” My words drifted off as I stood and ran my fingers through my hair. Looking down at him, I continued, “I don’t want them right now, but I need you to know that I do want them eventually. I don’t know where you and I will end up, but if kids isn’t something you want, we need to have that out on the table now so we both know where we stand.” Shit, was I really ready for this conversation? It could mean the end of Nash and me if he didn’t want kids because I wasn’t sure I could compromise on this.
He stood and came to me, his hands taking hold of my arms. His grip was firm and his eyes demanded my complete attention. “I’ll tell you where you and I will end up – together. This isn’t a short-term thing for me and I sure as hell hope it isn’t for you either.” He stopped talking, clearly waiting for confirmation from me on that.
“It’s not short-term for me,” I said, and his relief was written across his face.
“So we’re in this together for the long haul, and although I hadn’t thought about it, I guess we do need to talk about kids.” He stopped for a moment and took a breath, and in that moment, I knew he was struggling with this. But my man never let me down and today was no different. “Having another child scares the absolute fuck outta me, but I’d do anything for you, and that includes considering this.”
Consider it.
That didn’t mean he would do it.
I swallowed back my fear and gave him a smile. “Okay,” I said softly, not sure what else to say. He hadn’t given me what I was looking for, but at the same time, he hadn’t taken it off the table.
His eyes narrowed on me. “That’s not enough for you, is it?”
My heart beat wildly in my chest. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m not getting any younger, Nash. What’s to say you consider it for too long before agreeing to it and then it’s too late for me?”
He contemplated that for a few moments. His brows pulled together and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Am I missing something here? Is this an either/or thing?”
I hated putting this to him, but I couldn’t take it back now. I took a step towards him, but the way his body tensed at my approach made me halt. My mouth went dry and worry crept over my skin. “This is an I-need-to-know-what-you’re-thinking thing, Nash,” I answered, having to force the words out.
His heavy breaths caused his chest to rise and fall with force. Silence circled us, claustrophobic almost, while he processed what I’d said. Finally, he replied, “Fuck, Velvet, I don’t know what I’m thinking. Having another child isn’t something I’ve ever thought about. Losing Aaron almost killed me and I’m not sure I could go through that again and make it out alive. I still struggle with i
t every day; some days all I wanna do is take a fuckin’ bottle of whiskey and wipe that shit from my mind. But if you’re standing in front of me and telling me you’re not gonna stick around if I don’t want a kid with you . . . fuck, baby, I don’t want to lose you.” His eyes desperately clung to mine, as if he was willing me to hear him. As if he was begging me to fix this for us, but I wasn’t sure I could.
My words stuck in my throat and all I wanted to do was take my man into my arms and hold him until his hurt fled, but I knew it never would. This was something that would stay with him until his last breath, and while I could help him live with it, and be there for him when he needed me, I could never take his pain from him. I swallowed hard, willing the words to come out right. “I don’t want to lose you either, and I know this is awful for you, and I hate that I’m the bitch in this situation, but . . .” My words caught again and I swallowed a few times trying to get myself under control. Panic spread through my body and I fought hard to control that, too. Blinking back the tears, I continued in a shaky voice, “But I can’t help it . . . I want a baby.” And with that, the tears rushed forward and streamed down my face as I finally confronted my conflicting desires.
Nash’s arms came around me and he held me tight, his hand running over my hair while he tried to console me. “You’re not the bitch in this situation, sweetheart. The fuckin’ bitch is life and the way she gives and then fuckin’ takes.”
I buried my face in his chest and let the tears flow freely. His arms felt good wrapped around me, as if I was safe and protected, but who knew where this would all end up now.
Eventually, I lifted my head and looked up into his eyes. I took in his torment and listened while he spoke. “I can’t give you an answer tonight.” As his words swirled through me, and my body reacted to them by shrinking away a little, he grasped my arms and pulled me back to him, his eyes demanding I continue to listen. “Promise me you’ll give me some time to work this shit out in my head, and that I won’t wake up in the morning to an empty bed.” His voice was forceful; his words trying to extract a commitment he desperately needed from me.