by Jade Kerrion
He refused to take her waspish tone personally. It seemed as though defensiveness—on both their parts—was now an ingrained response. “I wanted to tell you that I got the promotion, to partner.”
“Oh.”
That was it. A single emotionless sound. Her long eyelashes flickered as she blinked away the flash of whatever reaction she might have had.
Gabriel’s heart clenched. Perhaps if he told her that he would not be attending the partners’ retreat… His gaze fell on a white legal-sized envelope on the kitchen island. “What is this?” he asked.
He reached for it. Alarm flared in her eyes, and she took a half-step forward, as if to stop him, but she caught herself. She stood back and said nothing as he opened the envelope and pulled out the documents.
His gaze raced over the terms of the divorce settlement that she had signed. His trained lawyer’s mind tried to parse facts from emotion, but the rest of him refused to play along. He couldn’t think through the fog—the roaring storm—in his head. He couldn’t feel anything through the shattering sensation of loss. The pain that pulsed through him couldn’t possibly be real. There had to be a physical injury to warrant that kind of ripping anguish.
He looked up at her. “Is this what you want?” That hollow, unsteady sound could not possibly be his voice.
She said nothing. She stared at him as if he were a stranger.
He had to know. “Are you no longer in love with me?”
Did she know or even care that everything in him turned on her answer? The ache in his chest intensified with each passing moment. The silence dug deep and wrenched at the wound she had already inflicted with the signed divorce settlement.
She said nothing.
Gabriel shoved the papers back into the envelope and walked out of the house. He took the end of his marriage with him.
CHAPTER NINE
Valeria clasped her hands together, but the cold continued to seep from her fingertips to chill the rest of her body. She had done the right thing, hadn’t she? Gabriel was emotionally distant—he had been even during their surprise encounter at the Browns’ apartment. He was an indifferent partner and father; his work came first, always, but the children deserved better. They deserved a father who would attend the school fair as promised and not skip out to Napa Valley to be with his colleagues.
He had admitted to kissing another woman. Perhaps he had even done more.
Nothing about what Valeria did with her life—like granting wishes to sick children—mattered a whit to him. She just wanted to matter. She wanted her children to matter.
She wanted to know that she was loved.
She was certain he no longer did, yet the way he had looked when he read the divorce papers caused her to hesitate. His face had paled. His voice was unsteady. His hands shook.
He looked as if she had hurt him in the most vicious way possible.
Valeria sucked in a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. Her actions were not impulsive. She had reached them after several months of deliberation. She could not…would not change them just because Gabriel had acted kindly toward a stranger he knew nothing about—for no other reason than the fact that she, too, had cared about that stranger’s family.
Why hadn’t he said something about it to her?
Her smartphone rang. She snatched it up.
“Hello, Valeria. It’s Brett.”
“Oh.” Her heart sank. Only then did she realize she had been hoping to hear Gabriel’s voice.
“I just wanted to let you know that I just got off the phone with Judge Harrison about Peter Brown’s wish.”
“Oh?”
“He apologizes for the delay. Apparently, your husband spoke to him about two weeks ago, but he was scheduled to leave for Hawaii for a family vacation, and just got back. He’s going to help grant Peter’s wish, and in fact has a list of other people who will take on the roles of prosecutors, defendants, witnesses, the whole deal. That’s what he was doing in Hawaii—trying to get enough people lined up to make a great day for Peter. Apparently, Gabriel emphasized that it was a big deal and managed to get Judge Harrison excited about it. Valeria, are you there?”
“Yes.” The word trembled out of her.
“Sorry, you were just so quiet. Anyway, I don’t have your husband’s contact information or I would have called him to thank him. Will you pass the word on, please?”
“Yes…Yes, I will.”
“Val? Are you okay? You sound a little odd.”
Valeria hung up and slid down the side of the counter to sit on the cold kitchen tiles. The smartphone tumbled from her hand. She pressed a hand to her stomach, as if it would hold in the wrenching ache, the terrifying feeling that perhaps she might have misunderstood her husband after all.
Could she have made a horrible mistake…no, the worst mistake of her life?
~*~
Gabriel’s shock had frozen over into an icy façade by the time he was shown into Brandon Smith’s office for his 2 p.m. appointment. Brandon stood and extended his hand in greeting. “Mr. Cruz.”
“Gabriel, please.”
“Gabriel.” Brandon gestured toward the sitting area in his office. “Shall we?” He waited until Gabriel took his seat. “Can I offer you something to drink?”
Gabriel shook his head. “I…thank you for making time to meet with me. I realize our meeting isn’t conventional—”
Brandon shrugged, and Gabriel got the feeling that Brandon wasn’t much into conventions. “Call it professional courtesy. I assume you’re here about the papers I drafted for Mrs. Cruz,” Brandon said.
“She signed the divorce settlement.”
“Ah.”
Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. “I’m assuming you drafted other papers too? A separation agreement, perhaps?”
Brandon spread his hands. “Client confidentiality. You understand.”
Gabriel laid the legal envelope on the low table between them. “You’ve handled many divorce cases. I’m sure you know, as I do, that Val asked for nothing, really, compared to what she could have walked away with.”
“Are you here to ask me if I’m accurately representing her wishes, or whether I deliberately screwed her over?”
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking you.”
Brandon managed a thin smile. “I’m accurately representing her wishes. She made her intentions clear.”
“Why?”
Brandon shook his head. “You know I can’t discuss her case specifically, but perhaps you should ask yourself, more generally, why a smart woman would choose not to rake her ex-husband over the coals for everything she could take from him in a divorce?”
Gabriel’s jaw tensed. That was the exact question he had been asking himself ever since he walked out of the kitchen.
Across from him, Brandon leaned back in his chair, the image of relaxed grace. “I’d imagine it’s because she’s trying not to hurt him any more than is necessary, in spite of what she’s doing.”
Gabriel stared at the plain platinum band on his left hand. He drew in a deep breath. Finally, his path forward seemed clear. It was the only path left open to him. He looked at Brandon and leaned forward in his seat. He took out a pen, set it on the envelope, and slid both across the table to Brandon. “You’re going to redo the divorce settlement. You represent my wife. I’ll represent myself. Let’s negotiate.”
CHAPTER TEN
Valeria had neither heard from nor seen Gabriel for an entire week. She knew he came home late in the evenings. Each night, close to midnight, she heard the sound of the garage door opening. No armed, masked intruder came charging into her bedroom, so obviously it was Gabriel. Each morning, he had left by the time she came downstairs to fix breakfast for the children. The pillows and neatly folded blankets stacked on the sofa bed in Gabriel’s study were in a slightly different position from the way she had laid them out the night before, so she knew Gabriel had used them. The leftovers in the refrigerator vanished, and the rinsed plates were plac
ed in the dishwasher.
Gabriel, as always, had cleaned up after himself so as not to make any extra work for her. He had always been that way, from the earliest days in their marriage. But beyond those few hints, there was no sign of Gabriel. His study with its sofa bed, adjoining bathroom, and closet filled with his clothes allowed him to meet his needs without making any demands on her or on the master bedroom that should have been their shared space.
He had always been self-sufficient, except for the way he used to seek her out every chance he could for a quick kiss. But that had been a long time ago.
“Mommy?” Marlena asked.
“What is it, darling?” She looked down at her daughter.
“Is Daddy going to meet us at the school fair?”
Valeria swallowed hard. Her chest ached as it had constantly for an entire week since she delivered the signed papers to Gabriel. “I don’t know, Marlena.” He’s probably on his way to San Francisco right now for his Napa Valley retreat.
“He said he would be at the fair.” Diego’s lower jaw jutted out pugnaciously. “He’ll be there. I know it.”
“All right,” Valeria said, and silently cursed Gabriel for breaking their children’s hearts yet again. “We have to leave now though, or we’ll be late. We need to get Diego to his science table so that he can talk about the robotics experiment he put together.”
The door to the garage opened, and a familiar step entered the kitchen.
“Daddy!” Marlena squealed. She rushed into the kitchen and flung her arms around her father’s legs.
“Marlena.” Gabriel stroked her curls and looked up, meeting Valeria’s eyes across the expanse of the kitchen.
“Dad, you’re here,” Diego said. He walked over to give his father a hug, and tossed his mother a reproachful I-told-you-so look.
“Are you leaving now for the fair?” Gabriel asked.
Valeria nodded, grateful that he was willing to keep their interactions casual and light for the sake of the kids.
“I’d like two minutes to change; can I ride with you?”
“Yes,” Valeria said before the awkwardness of the situation got the better of her nerves. “I’ll get the kids into the car. Just come out when you’re ready.”
Valeria buckled Marlena into her booster seat and checked Diego’s seat belt. Her thoughts churned. What was Gabriel doing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Napa Valley with the other partners in his law firm? Perhaps his flight was after the school fair, in which case, it made sense that he would want to change and travel in casual clothes rather than a business suit. He would also want her to drive so that he could catch a cab to the airport directly from the school fair.
Of course, that was what it was.
The sound of a closing door jerked her attention up. Gabriel walked out in a long-sleeved, collared linen shirt and faded denim jeans. He did not carry any bag with him. Valeria frowned. Was he not going to the airport after all?
She caught a glimpse of the only thing he carried—a white legal-sized envelope.
Her heart skipped a beat. Her divorce papers.
He smiled at her, but it was little more than a movement of the lips. The warmth of that barely-there smile did not reach his eyes. He slid into the passenger seat and placed the envelope beneath the car seat. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” His formality chafed her, but she supposed it was the safer path for the both of them to walk, especially in front of the children.
She focused on the drive to school, leaving him to maintain the running chatter with the children who wanted to know where he had been.
At work.
Why didn’t he come home at night?
He did, but it was late.
Did he kiss them goodnight?
Yes, he had looked into their bedrooms and kissed them goodnight even though they were sleeping.
Valeria knew it was the truth. Each night, she had heard his footsteps on the stairs, had counted his paces to confirm that he had, at least, entered each child’s room. Presumably, he had kissed them too. She had also heard his footsteps stop outside her closed door and stand there for several long moments. The handle of her door never turned though. He had not come in to her.
Did he know then that if he had entered, she would not have resisted? She could not have turned him away.
“We’re here!” Marlena shrieked as Valeria pulled into a parking spot in front of the academy and cut the engine. The little girl unbuckled herself from her booster seat. “Come with me, Daddy. I want to show you the super cool robot I made with clay and painted to look just like Diego’s robot.”
Diego darted out of the car, too, and grabbed Gabriel’s other hand, obviously determined not to let his kid sister steal the spotlight. “And I want to show you my real robot. It moves, Dad, and I have this really neat remote control that makes it raise its arms.”
Valeria pressed her lips together to hold back the bittersweet smile of seeing her children swarm around their father. He was like a different person with them—warm and open—as if being with his family was the only place he could relax and be himself. He had been like that with her too, until…
Until she had left that damned card on the table and thrown a hand grenade into her marriage. Happy anniversary. I want a divorce.
She drew in a deep breath. Had it only been three weeks since she had sent their marriage into a tailspin from which it never recovered?
It was that goddamned anniversary letter.
She should never have written that stupid anniversary letter. She had allowed “I” to be more important than “we.” Worse, she had attributed her emotionally distant father’s worst faults to her husband.
There was, however, one critical difference between Valeria’s father and Gabriel. Valeria’s father had truly not given a damn about his family. In contrast, Gabriel truly gave a damn. He was just too busy working for them to let them know.
She only wished she had placed more value on that aspect of Gabriel before she wrote the note that derailed their lives.
“Hey, girlfriend.” Cherish slipped her arm through Valeria’s. Cherish’s only daughter was six and attended the same Montessori academy. “Haven’t spoken to you in a week.”
“There’s nothing to say.” Valeria stared ahead at Gabriel as he paused to purchase fresh-squeezed lemonade for the children. He glanced back at her and gestured at the drinks stand. She shook her head.
“Looks like things are better between the both of you,” Cherish ventured.
Valeria swallowed hard. “He hasn’t yet returned the divorce papers I signed.”
“You what?”
“The day after you and I spoke, I signed the papers.”
“After you smelled someone else’s perfume on him? What did he say about that?”
“That he kissed someone. That it was a mistake, and he screwed up. That it didn’t go beyond that.”
“That leech,” Cherish fumed. “He’s probably lying.”
“No, he’s probably not.” Valeria sighed. “Lying’s never been his style.” Gabriel was twenty feet ahead of her and out of earshot, his hands in his children’s as they escorted him from stall to stall.
“So are you divorced, or are you not?”
“I don’t know. I guess it depends on whether he’s signed the papers.” She thought of the legal envelope in the car.
“And he’s said nothing about the divorce?”
Valeria shook her head. “We haven’t seen much of each other all week, but before that…” Her voice quavered. “Before that, he had been making an effort to come back early for dinner. In fact, he found the papers because he’d come back for lunch. If he hadn’t—”
“If he hadn’t?”
“I might have destroyed them. I spoke to two people that day who made me think perhaps I’d made a mistake about him, but he saw the papers and…”
“And?”
Valeria sucked in a deep breath. The sound trembled on the edge of a sob. “He asked me if it
was what I really wanted. And then he asked me if I loved him.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”
Cherish pursed her lips. “Oh.”
“Oh? Is that all you can say? My marriage is ending, or has ended, and all you can say is oh?”
“I know you love him, Val.”
“I want to know he loves me too. Just saying it is not enough, not anymore. I just wonder sometimes…”
“What do you wonder?”
“If I was too tough on him. Maybe his actions are screaming it, but I just couldn’t hear it because I was listening for something else. I mean…the house, the car, the kids’ school fees, the rings…” She held out her hand and stared at her glittering diamonds.
“Are you suddenly becoming materialistic?”
“It’s not just that. It’s the way he cleans up after himself so I don’t have to. The way he found someone to fulfill Peter’s wish. The way he worked through the Browns’ insurance and financial issues so they didn’t have to divorce to keep from being drowned by debt. He didn’t say anything to me; he never does.”
“Probably because he doesn’t think it’s a big deal, or because he just sees it as his job.” Cherish shrugged. “People who won’t toot their own horn sometimes find it hard to get ahead in life.”
“Not him. He made partner, did you know that?” Valeria smiled through the ache in her chest. It was easier, with some distance, to admit that she was proud of him.
“That’s cool. Does that mean he’ll have to work more or less?”
“I don’t know. Probably more, I guess.” Though it’s not my business anymore, is it? “Two households will be expensive, even if we sell our home and downgrade to something smaller. I’ve started looking for apartments in this area, near the school. He’ll probably move closer to the city and cut his commute. It doesn’t make sense, really, for him to hike back and forth every day if he doesn’t have to.”