Prairie Home Companion, A (movie tie-in)

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Prairie Home Companion, A (movie tie-in) Page 13

by Keillor, Garrison


  expenses up front. Expenses plus. Right.

  Nine o’clock, I know. I’m on my way. Just

  stopping for coffee. Great. Fantastic. Ciao.

  As she converses on the phone, she walks toward the booth where the others sit. She picks up an empty coffee cup and holds it up, gesturing to GUY NOIR to fill it. He picks up the coffee carafe, stands, pours her a cup.

  YOLANDA

  She just started six months ago and now

  she’s the manager of something.

  GUY NOIR

  What does she do?

  YOLANDA

  No idea. Something in religious software.

  RHONDA

  It’s big. It’s moving like monkeys.

  LOLA clicks off the cell phone. She sets the briefcase down on the table, opens it, as GUY NOIR surreptitiously peers inside, and riffles through papers.

  LOLA (TO YOLANDA)

  I looked at your pension stuff. It’s a horror

  show. Ever hear of mutual funds? Honestly,

  you would’ve done better if you’d stuck it in

  a shoebox and put it under your bed.

  YOLANDA

  Well, that’s why I asked for your help—

  LOLA pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it to YOLANDA.

  YOLANDA

  What’s this?

  She looks at it.

  YOLANDA

  Power of attorney?

  LOLA hands her a pen.

  LOLA

  I’ve got to get your assets working for you.

  YOLANDA looks around the table for—what? Advice? Sympathy? She isn’t sure.

  YOLANDA

  Well, I don’t know . . .

  LOLA

  And you just plunked down six thousand

  dollars on a used bus. Why didn’t you ask

  me first?

  YOLANDA

  Sorry.

  She signs the form and hands it back.

  YOLANDA

  Can I keep the bus?

  She smiles a wan smile for the benefit of the folks around the table, a smile of humorous resignation as DONNA steps in with four heaping platters of breakfast and sets them in turn in front of YOLANDA, RHONDA, GUY NOIR, and GK. The camera pulls back as LOLA leaves. DUSTY and LEFTY are perched on the booth opposite, drinking coffee.

  LOLA (O.C.)

  I’ll talk to you later.

  The four tuck in their napkins and set in to eat. The camera looks beyond them to the door as the DANGEROUS WOMAN climbs the steps to Mickey’s vestibule and stands for a moment at the door, looking in.

  RHONDA (O.C.)

  That was a terrific eulogy you gave at Old

  Man Soderberg’s memorial service.

  GK (O.C.)

  Thanks.

  GUY NOIR (O.C.)

  Too bad the old coot couldn’t have been there

  to hear it.

  YOLANDA (O.C.)

  Yes. And to have missed it by just a few

  days . . .

  They laugh as the DANGEROUS WOMAN opens the door and steps into the diner. She stands, looking at them, smiling. One by one, they look up to see her. They look at each other, wondering which one she has come for. She steps forward.

  THE END

  Cast and Characters

  as themselves:

  TOM KEITH, Sound-Effects Man

  JEARLYN STEELE

  ROBIN AND LINDA WILLIAMS

  PRUDENCE JOHNSON

  with featured musicians:

 

 

 


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