“Mother, Jox and Jax have every right to be here. Just because imps and fairies don’t get along in the Fairy Realm, doesn’t mean it has to be that way here.” Disgust seeped from my voice at my mother’s prejudice. Some things about home I didn’t miss. The class separation of fairies and imps was one of those things. In fact, fairies held themselves in such high regard, most other paranormal beings in the Hidden Realm hated their guts.
My mother steadied herself, shaking her head. “The Elders couldn’t have picked a better time to open a portal for me to bring you home, it seems.”
Well, Jox and Jax had been attempting to glare a hole through my mother, but the word “portal” perked them right up in a big way. “Portal magic? You know portal magic? We’ve been trying—”
Danielle slashed a hand across her neck. “Not the time or place, boys.”
Their narrow shoulders slumped immediately, giving them an air of defeat. I felt a little sorry for them. A portal mishap had left them stranded from home. They just wanted to get back. But Danielle was right. Not the time or place.
Just then, Banore came bounding through the front door on a beeline for the kitchen, no doubt. I swear, all boys wanted to do was eat, no matter if they were human, ogre, shifter, or in Banore’s case, demon. He stopped short when he realized we were all gathered together in a group.
“Um…something happening?” He fiddled with the collar of his white shirt uncomfortably, his skin even more red than usual from running. Not your typical demon, Banore was a nice kid, and pretty happy to be away from his hell of a home. I giggled inwardly a little at my own private joke.
My mother turned to me and laid a delicate hand on my shoulder, her blue eyes wide and a little wild. “I will give you the time you asked for, but I cannot stay here another moment. It’s all just a bit too much. I will return tomorrow to take you home.” With a curt bow at the waist, she turned and stiffly made her way back the way we had came, probably in denial over the whole situation. One person’s normal is another one’s crazy and all that.
Ever so slowly, the twins edged their way backward and out of the room. I had to snicker a little as they turned and followed my mother, their little voices muttering in overtime about portal magic and spells. Serves her right for being a snob.
The room had become stifling as everyone continued to stand and stare at me like I’d grown a second head. I was pretty sure I hadn’t, but that didn’t quell the uneasiness that settled low in my gut with their continued heavy gazes. I took a deep breath and plastered another smile on my face, determined not to let my true feelings show.
“You’re sure you want to go with her, Sora? Even if it means giving up your powers?” The gentleness in Micah’s voice had me swallowing back a lump in my throat.
I gritted my teeth to keep my fake smile from slipping. “Yes.”
My response sounded meek, even to my own ears, but that had to be just from the shock of it all.
Because I had to want to go home, no matter what the cost.
Didn’t I?
Chapter Three
I shoved a pair of jeans into my already overflowing duffel bag as I glanced around the room, searching for what I wanted to take with me back to the Hidden Realm. The idea of magically condensing the contents of my side of the room to fit into my bag crossed my mind briefly, but deep down, I realized that hefty bit of magic was probably beyond me in this particular instance. Damn.
As I pondered my luggage predicament, Zoe came shuffling quietly into the room and flopped on her bed. A glance over my shoulder revealed what I already suspected—she’d been crying. Her eyes were puffy, the usual dark circles even more pronounced against the paleness of her skin. My inconsiderate mother and her mouth!
I turned and plopped my butt on my own bed with a sigh. “Where’ve you been?”
Zoe sniffed, her long brown hair falling forward to obscure her face. “Derrick’s room.”
I waggled my eyebrows at her, trying to lighten the mood. “You two spend an awful lot of time together…”
Zoe glanced up at me and narrowed her eyes to little slits. “We were just talking, Sora. He was making me feel better.”
The tip of my tongue found the edge of my lip ring and wiggled it absently. I’d soon have to find another nervous habit, I suppose. I’m sure the lip ring would be one of the first things my mother would want gone. “About that. My mother is well known for her entire lack of tact. It’s legendary, in fact.”
“Well, like mother, like daughter, I guess.” Her dark eyes blazed at me a moment in anger as she crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips.
Ouch. I hated to admit it, but she was right. There were many occasions that my foot found its way firmly lodged in my mouth. A defense mechanism that I needed to work on.
I must have looked sufficiently admonished, because Zoe’s shoulders relaxed and she leaned back against the headboard. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve had my fair share of crappy comments, being what I am. I guess I just got so used to being treated normal by everyone here, she caught me off guard.”
That was understandable. It was easy to forget you were different, when you lived with a bunch of people who were also different. All of us craved normalcy, and that’s exactly what Danielle and Micah tried to give us every day. And for the most part, they succeeded.
I nodded, staring at my hands as they rested in my lap. Even through all my fits of anger, Hellsner House was more of a home to me than any other place I’d lived. And here I was, preparing to leave. The loss of that feeling of belonging made me want to rip my hair out in frustration and scream. Truly screwed up, that’s what I am.
“But I do have to ask you something.”
Zoe’s question pulled me roughly out of my internal conversation.
“I don’t stink, do I? Because Derrick wouldn’t give me a straight answer.”
After seeing how upset she’d been after my mother’s insult in front of everyone, I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. I might be a smartass, but kicking someone when she’s down, well that’s just plain mean. No fun in that at all.
Fully prepared to lie and make her feel better, I was saved by a soft knock at the door. Relief flooded through me as I let out a long breath. “Come in.”
Danielle stepped cautiously through the door and sat down opposite me, on the foot of Zoe’s bed. “Just wanted to see if you needed help with packing or anything.”
Seeing the sadness that tinged her brown eyes was almost too much. It made my breath catch and my chest grow tight. Leaving was becoming harder than I thought. I shook my head. “I think I’ve got it. But there will be a lot of things that will have to stay. Maybe someone else will have use for them.” Despite my best efforts to remain in control, my voice broke a little. Damn it. My hands grew sweaty in my lap, and I rubbed them nervously over my thighs.
Danielle’s head cocked to the side. “Sora, are you sure that you want to go? I mean, giving up your magic seems to be a bit harsh for someone who just refused to fit in. Is there something else going on?”
I stared at the floor, the tears that wanted to fall burned behind my eyes. Danielle had never pushed to find out the details about my banishment. She was willing to let me come to terms with stuff in my own time. All she knew was that I needed a home, and she was happy to try to give me one. I never really got that until she tried to make this past Christmas something special for all of us. Sitting at the table sharing a dinner made me seem like part of a normal family, easy and unforced. It almost was enough to make me forget why I had been banished in the first place. Almost.
But on the other hand, Danielle deserved to know the truth. Maybe then leaving would be easier. Knowing everything, she might just be glad that I was on my way out.
I blinked back the tears and braced myself for what I knew was going to be a craptastic conversation, to say the least. “There is more to my being banished than I might have previously let on.”
“Such as?”
A lump planted itself in my throat and I swallowed hard against it. How could I easily say what needed to be said? “Well, you know I’ve had issues controlling my magic, and it used to be a lot worse.” I spoke slowly, choosing my words carefully.
Danielle and Zoe both cocked a speculative eyebrow, no doubt wondering how much worse things could have been before I’d come here. They really had no idea…
“Did someone get hurt?”
I fidgeted on the bed, my hands still clammy in my lap. Words bounced around inside my head, but I couldn’t seem to put them together in any way that made sense anymore. In fact, I changed my mind. I didn’t want to talk about this.
“Sora? Did someone get hurt?”
Danielle just wasn’t going to let this go. The tears I’d been holding at bay finally broke free, streaming down my face as I looked up. “Someone got dead,” I blurted out. Way to be subtle.
Danielle’s eyes widened in surprise as Zoe scooted over to the edge of the bed. “You killed someone?” Zoe asked, the disbelief in her voice fairly obvious.
I cringed a little. Zoe was blunt, but correct. I, Sora Starwind, am a murderer. “Yes,” I croaked out, the tears burning my cheeks as they continued to flow. This was why I kept everyone at arm’s length. I’d taken someone’s life and didn’t deserve to be happy.
“What exactly happened, Sora?” Danielle seemed determined to get this story out of me. Crap.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, trying desperately to recapture my emotional control. “What, you want all the sordid details? Forgive me, but I’m not the sharing type.” My survival instinct kicked back in, my smart mouth taking over, shutting me off. I’d already gone to an emotional place I didn’t want to go.
“Sora…” Danielle reached across and took my hand in hers. “I just want to understand.”
Damn her and her understanding nonsense! If I hadn’t let myself become so comfortable here and actually make a life, none of this would be so hard. I clenched my jaw in determination. “What’s to understand? A boy died, and I’m responsible. End of story.”
Zoe leaned forward and propped her elbows on her knees. “A boy? You killed a boy?”
“Yeah, zombie-girl, I killed a boy. He made me angry. I made him dead.” I was really done talking about this, but apparently, they were not.
“That really doesn’t sound like you, Sora. I mean, I know you’ve got anger issues, but killing someone? I’m sure it’s not as cut and dried as you want us to believe.” Danielle squeezed my hand that was still resting within hers.
I fidgeted around on the bed where I sat, truly uncomfortable with having to finally get all the details of my banishment out in the open. Maybe what Danielle said was true, but the end result was still the same. And I’d carry that result as a weight on my shoulders for as long as I lived. The breath I took was a shaky one. “I was just learning to control my powers and having very little luck. Kheelan, a boy in my class, said he would help me, but ended up humiliating me in front of everyone instead. My anger took over and before I knew it, I’d called down lightning to strike him. Repeatedly.” It hadn’t helped that he’d pretended to like me more than a friend, his duplicity making me skittish when it came to matters of the heart even now. Further evident with my earlier fiasco of a conversation with Liam. I was one big joke for everyone in the class to enjoy. But no one was laughing when it was all over with. Especially me.
Zoe gave a low whistle as Danielle continued listening in silence.
“He ran away from me, but I chased him. And in his desperation to get as far away from me as possible, he stumbled and fell right over the edge of a steep cliff. Kheelan was dead, and I was labeled a murderer.” My heart had tripled its rhythm as I spoke, the certainty of them being disgusted by the truth of what I’d done filling me with fear. But there was definitely no turning back now.
“So…it was an accident.” Zoe’s voice startled me by breaking the silence.
I blinked, a little confused by her reaction. “Um…I guess…but I was definitely the cause of his death, whether directly or indirectly.”
“And so your people banished you to here?” Zoe seemed more interested than revolted, which confused me even more.
“Using magic to hurt someone is expressly prohibited since the end of the last Fairy War. Those who do are typically executed. Because of my age, my mother was able to convince the High Council to banish me instead.”
Danielle had been glaringly quiet during the last bit of my story, which caused an ache in my heart that I couldn’t even begin to explain. This was why I’d never told anyone the truth about my situation. Because then they’d see me as I saw myself, a no-good murderer. And that was a mirror that I’d like to never gaze upon. Ever.
But I forced myself to look up and meet Danielle’s gaze, barely able to breathe. There was no disgust, no horror, just a deep sadness that made the ache in my chest practically unbearable.
“You’re probably glad I’m leaving, now.”
A tear slid down Danielle’s cheek. “Sora Starwind, how could you think such a thing?”
My jaw dropped at her reaction. She didn’t hate me? I thought for sure Danielle would want nothing more than to get me as far away as possible from the other residents here at Hellsner House, knowing the truth of my past. The fact that she still appeared to care about my sorry ass floored me a bit.
I slipped my hand from hers and wiped my nose, sniffing loudly. “But I thought—”
Danielle straightened and brushed away her stray tear. “Well, you thought wrong. You had an unfortunate accident, that if you’d been properly looked after, could have been avoided. Instead, your people abandoned you and sent you off to fend for yourself. They are the ones who deserve to be punished. Not you.”
I glanced over at Zoe, who nodded her agreement. “She’s right. You needed help, and they weren’t there for you. Especially your mom.”
I bristled at that last comment. Even though I knew Shaylee Starwind could be a little hard to take, she was still my mother, and the only real family I had left after my father had died in the Fairy War. “Well all that doesn’t matter, now, because they are offering me a second chance, and I’m taking it. I’m going home.”
Silence filled the small room for a moment, before Danielle stood and tugged me to her chest in a tight embrace. I stiffened at first, finished with all the tears and displays of emotion for the day. The warmth and comfort of her arms around me melted some of my skillfully built façade, so I gave in to the feeling and hugged her back. But only a little bit.
“Just know that no matter what happens, Sora, you will always have a home here at Hellsner House.”
She released me and stepped back, holding my hand and giving it one last squeeze before letting go. “Okay?”
I nodded, words frozen in my throat. I didn’t even know what to say, anyway. I was so not used to being treated like I mattered.
Danielle walked quietly out of the room, leaving Zoe and me alone once more, her dark eyes focused on me. The way that girl could give a deadpan stare was a bit unnerving at times, to say the least. I fell back onto my bed with a soft thud. “You don’t think I should go back, do you?”
Zoe appeared thoughtful for a moment before answering. “It’s not my decision to make, so it doesn’t matter what I think.”
“But you think I’m crazy for agreeing to their terms.”
She gave a small sigh and scooted backward onto her bed again to lean against the headboard. “For years, I watched my stepdad beat the crap out of my mom, his fists trying to carve out his pain onto her face. And then one day, I tried to stop him. After that, he decided it was more fun to beat the crap out of me instead.”
Zoe hadn’t talked much about her life before zombie-hood, so these particular details were news to me. For once, I kept my mouth shut so she could continue.
“I’d like to think my mom didn’t do anything because she was relieved to not be the one getting her head bashed in
for a change, even when he beat me so bad I ended up dead.”
I opened my mouth to say something, then snapped it shut. What the hell could I say to that, anyway? I tried again, but Zoe held up a hand to stop me.
“My point is, that even after all that, and after seeing my mom put into the loony bin upon seeing me rise from the dead, if she showed up right now and wanted me to go with her, I’d go. In a heartbeat. She’s my mom. No matter what. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you I understand. Sort of, anyway.”
She lay back on her pillow, turning so that her back was to me. “And now, if we’re done with the sharing portion of this evening, I think I’d like to get some sleep.”
I closed my eyes and took a good, long, deep breath. I’d been so caught up in my own drama—I never gave a thought to what the other residents might be dealing with. But it was difficult to see someone else’s pain when you were drowning in your own.
Kicking off my sneakers, I shoved my duffel bag aside and scooted back onto my bed, settling comfortably onto my pillow.
Despite my sordid past, I had been offered a second chance, a way to be among my people and try to make things right.
So why do I feel so miserable?
Another tear slid down my cheek as I turned and burrowed my face into the pillow. Didn’t they always say that things looked better in the morning, after a good night’s sleep?
I hoped that theory was true.
Chapter Four
Alone in my room, and with a heavy heart, I stared at the four walls that had become more than a home to me. The concert posters, the jewelry, the makeup, the shoes. The shoes! Giving up the bulk of my shoe collection hurt more than I cared to admit. At least I could smuggle my music to the other realm on my iPod. But only so many pairs of shoes could be crammed into my already overflowing duffel bag.
I sighed. My focus on material things was just a way for me to occupy myself out of really thinking about what I was about to do.
Hell House Books 1-3: The First Three Hell House Novellas in One Box Set Page 5