by Brynne Asher
Gabby is leaning at the reception desk talking to her cousin and Tony’s younger sister, Paige, who just started working here as the receptionist. Again. Paige can’t seem to settle on a career and from what Gabby tells me, she always ends up back here.
“Well?” Gabby asks raising her eyebrows at me. “Is it done? Preston and his attorneys stormed out of here looking none too happy, to say the least.”
I sigh, “I don’t know what’s happening. But I do know it’s not done. Tony made me sign all kinds of new papers, said I don’t get a choice…and well, some other stuff I really don’t understand. Can we go?”
Gabby’s an interior decorator and is dressed to the hilt because she came from a client meeting. She’s wearing a blue and cream scroll print wrap around dress that fits her curves perfectly, showing just enough cleavage to be professionally sexy without being slutty. I’m normally taller than her, but her spiked blue heels have boosted her up higher than me today since I hardly had the energy to slip on a pair of flats. It’s really hard getting dressed with only one hand.
Gabby, who insisted on driving me here so I wouldn’t have to come by myself, is now frowning as she says, “I thought it was supposed to be done today.”
“Me too,” I mutter. Looking to Paige, I add, “See ya later.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you soon. How about I make some junk food and bring it over to Gabby’s? We’ll have a movie marathon, anything you want to watch. How does that sound?” Paige offers, smiling sweetly to me.
Honestly. Gabby’s family is so nice. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with it all. I try to muster a smile, “Thanks. Sounds fun.”
I need to get out of here. I start to move to the door as I hear Gabby say goodbye and her shoes clicking on the marble floor as she follows me. We step into the elevator and I lean to the wall, shutting my eyes.
“Leigh, please. Tell me what happened,” Gabby implores softly.
“I don’t know. I told you I didn’t want anything from him but your uncle had an emergency. Tony took over and said something about me taking him to the bank and then made me sign all kinds of new papers and then told Preston’s attorneys they had five days to respond or we will see them in court.”
“Tony said you need to take him to the bank?” she asks and when I look up she has a big smile on her face. I immediately frown at her and she quickly wipes the smile away biting her lip.
“Gabby! There is nothing to be happy about,” I warn her. “I told you I don’t want anything from him. I need a clean start, he’s given me plenty to remember and none of it’s good. I don’t want his money on top of everything else.”
“Well, I can’t imagine Tony would do anything that isn’t in your best interest. Maybe you should trust him on this. I know he specializes in Business Law, but this is pretty basic stuff,” she responds.
As we walk out of the building, I plead, “Can we just stop talking about this and go home. Or…to your house?”
“Stop it, Leigh. My house is your home and will be for quite some time. I’m not letting you leave. Besides, I think you’ve stolen my dog. She won’t leave your side and doesn’t even sleep with us anymore. What will Mia do if you leave?”
I look over at her as we climb into her Tahoe. Gabby hasn’t let me go anywhere by myself since I was released from the hospital two weeks ago and she moved me into her house. Her boyfriend, Jude, hasn’t officially moved in yet but they’re never apart unless they’re working, I’m sure that will happen soon enough. He’s deeply devoted to her already and they’ve only been together for a couple months. It’s almost hard to be around them right now, but I’m happy for Gabby because he makes her happy. She lost her parents in a horrific car accident almost four years ago. She has had a rough and lonely couple of years herself. It’s good to see her with someone who can make her face light up.
The three of us are living in Gabby’s enormous childhood home her parents left her, but I’ve been keeping to myself in the basement as much as I can. Gabby’s right, Mia won’t leave my side. She’s some type of Shih-Tzu designer dog mix and the sweetest thing ever. I’ve always wanted a dog but my mom could never afford one and Preston would never let me have one. I’ve heard dogs can sense when something is wrong and this must be the case with Mia. She sticks to me like glue unless she’s eating or playing outside. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I’m not trying to be ungrateful because all the Caprinos are being caring and generous with me, but Mia’s the only being in my life right now that doesn’t try to get me to talk about what happened.
“I’m sorry about Mia,” I say. “Thank you for sharing her with me, I don’t know what I’d do without her. Thank you for everything. I would be all on my own with nothing if it weren’t for you. Or worse, I would still be with Preston since I wouldn’t have anywhere else to go.”
My beautiful friend reaches across the console to squeeze my knee and says, “We’re going to make everything okay, Leigh. I promise. Come hell or high water, you’re going to find yourself again. I really wish you would talk to a professional. I know my dog is perfect and believe you me, she got me through the loss of my parents when my uncles got her for me, but don’t let her fool you. She may be a professional cuddler but she’s no psychologist.” She throws me a sympathetic smile while giving my knee one more squeeze before driving us home.
Gabby pulls into her garage as Jude is getting out of his truck which is parked behind my car that hasn’t moved an inch since Gabby parked it there two weeks ago while I was in the hospital. He stalks straight to Gabby and hooks her behind her neck to pull her in for a kiss. She melts into him, fitting herself to him perfectly. Jude, who is tall and dark with a hint of Latin, is the perfect complement to my best friend who works her bombshell figure with olive skin, dark blonde hair and blue eyes.
As I move by them, I hear him mummer, “Sugar,” against her lips before he kisses her again, quickly this time before letting her go. Gabby has a dazed look on her face and sighs.
But it’s Jude who gets my attention by saying, “Leigh, I’m glad you changed your mind about going after Preston in the divorce. He deserves worse, but hopefully he’ll get that from a judge. At least now you’ll know you can start fresh when you’re ready without worrying about finances.”
I come to a standstill in Gabby’s messy garage. “How do you know what happened? Who told you I changed my mind?”
Jude continues to talk as he shuffles Gabby through the garage that’s a mess of old furniture and boxes toward the house, “I just got off the phone with Tony. He called to say he’s coming for dinner and to watch the game tonight. He filled me in.”
Jude and Gabby have disappeared into the house and I hear Mia attacking them both. I can’t move from my spot in the messy garage as I hear Mia make her way out of the house to greet me next. Tony comes over to Gabby’s once in a while, but why is he coming over tonight? I don’t want to see him tonight, especially after he railroaded me today. I’m supposed to be divorced right now, but no. I’m still married and apparently taking Preston to the bank, damn-it.
“Girlie!” Gabby yells sticking her head out of the door from the house. “You coming? Jude’s grilling hamburgers, is that okay with you?”
“Sure, whatever’s fine,” I mutter and slowly make my way into the house.
Now I have to find an excuse to hide in my room all night. Unfortunately, I only have about ten thousand legitimate excuses to be depressed and want to be by myself. I just have to pick one.
Chapter 2 - Tony Torture
Thanksgiving…
Pain shoots through my head as I bring my hand up to my eye. I try my best to get up, scurry to my feet as he’s stumbling back to find his equilibrium. Finally getting my legs underneath me, I can only see where I’m going with my good eye. The black tunnel is endless in front of me with nowhere else to go and I’ve got to get away. It’s not just him. I can’t take the noise. The crying is getting louder and louder with no escape. I start to run, to
where I don’t know, but there’s nothing else for me to do but run. Away from him. Away from the crying. The crying is so deafening I can’t even hear my feet hit the ground. That’s when I feel him again, his hands at my back….
My whole body jerks in my soft bed where I’m curled into myself, Mia is in my face nuzzling my ear. I’m sweating, breathing hard and the covers are tangled around me.
I bring my hand up to calm Mia and whisper, “I’m sorry, girlie.”
Again. It happened again. It’s always the same, but not really.
The same.
Yet different.
I’ve never been in a tunnel before. The noise is always the same and it’s is too much. I can’t get the noise out of my head even after I wake up.
Looking at the clock I see it’s four forty five, still early. Maybe I can go back to sleep. I roll over to readjust the covers and wonder if I ever make any noise during these nightmares that have been haunting me for weeks. I can’t seem to shake them. Gabby hasn’t said anything about hearing me, but her house is enormous and my room is in the basement on the opposite side of the house as theirs.
I’m not looking forward to today. It’s Thanksgiving and Gabby is hosting her massive family this year. She thinks it’s time she had a holiday family gathering in her house again, it will be the first since her parents died but she said she’s ready. The last four years have been hard for her so I’m happy she’s taking these steps. I’m pretty sure the difference is being with Jude.
As I lay here, I try not to think about still being married. My divorce didn’t pan out in five days, it’s being held up in court with all kinds of lame excuses from Preston. His lawyers are extremely creative to say the least. Tony isn’t happy with any of their offers, leaving me in divorce limbo. Mia does her best to snuggle back in tight and I pray for dreamless sleep. Or nightmare-less sleep at least. There’s a big difference. I stopped letting myself dream a long time ago.
*****
“Leigh, you look tired. Go sit down, we’ve got this.”
I look over at Gabby and give her a small smile as she’s pulling dish after dish out of her double ovens. I don’t know why I think I can help with only one arm so I take myself to the great room to get out of the way. The mountain of food on the island that will be the Thanksgiving buffet is growing by the second.
Gabby Carpino’s family is huge. Her grandparents had four boys, one being Gabby’s dad. Those four boys married and had a mountain of kids, although Gabby is the only one without siblings. I can’t keep track of all Gabby’s cousins. Now, all those cousins have started having their own mountain of kids making the Carpino mountain enormous. It’s not just a big family, but a close one to boot. And when I say close, I mean they’re fixtures in each other’s lives.
Living with Gabby the last six weeks has been pure torture for me with the Carpino family. They’ve tortured me with love, kindness, goodness…really the list could go on and would include every Fruit of the Spirit. This comes to them naturally. However being on the receiving end of love and compassion doesn’t come naturally for me, so all their forms of kindness are forms of torture because I don’t know how to handle it. But the Carpino who’s torturing me most is Tony.
I’ve come to refer to this in my head as Tony Torture.
It started four weeks ago in his conference room when I “changed my mind” about how I was going to handle my divorce. Since then Tony has started hanging around Gabby’s house a lot. And by a lot, I mean all the time. He hasn’t shown signs of Chameleon Tony since that day in his office. No, Tony’s torture has been delivered with soft looks, sweet smiles, talking gently and casual caresses.
The casual caresses are the worst. I don’t remember Preston ever touching me that way, even in the beginning when I could pretend things were good before his touches came in the form of pain. Every guy I was with before Preston had their mind on different kinds of touches that only brought them gratification. Tony’s caresses are like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
I’ll never forget the first of Tony’s torturous caresses. It was shortly after I changed my mind that day in his law offices. It was Halloween night. Gabby’s door bell was ding-donging constantly with the tiny trick-or-treaters making their rounds. Jude was with Gabby doling out candy while I was trying to be a good houseguest with only one arm and clean up Gabby’s kitchen after dinner.
Tony saunters in the kitchen with a beer in his hand and frowns at me saying, “You’re gonna get your cast wet. Let me do that.”
“It’s okay, I’ve figured it out,” I mutter looking to the sink.
This is where I made my mistake. I really need to start paying attention, because all of a sudden I feel Tony move in behind me brushing his chest up against my back as he reaches around, flips off the water and plucks the cleaning brush right out of my hand I was trying my best to use.
His lips come close to my ear making me shiver, his breath tickling as he says gently, “I’ve got this. You shouldn’t put pressure on your arm and you really don’t want to get that cast wet.”
I do my best to turn without touching him which is impossible since he’s at my back and my side brushes his chest. He’s looking down at me with soft eyes but not into my eyes, rather at my eye that is now healed where Preston hit me. Bringing his hand up, he brushes the backs of his fingers down my temple and under my eye with only a hint of a caress I can barely feel but still leaves a wake of heat in its path.
“It’s healed,” he states the obvious. Then he looks from my eye and gazes into my eyes saying, “Gems.”
I close my eyes slowly because I feel that caress down to my soul. A caress so soft and perfect, I don’t even know how to process it. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced and I want to savor it so I never forget the feel of his touch on my face.
I open my eyes to ask, “What?”
“Your eyes,” he goes on. “They look like emeralds. Precious gems.”
I feel my eyes widen and side step around him immediately blurting out, “You can clean the kitchen.”
I turn, walk as quickly as I can through the great room, past Gabby and Jude at the front door giving candy to Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the Cat in the Hat.
“Good night,” I announce as I start down the stairs.
“You’re going to bed already?” Gabby asks. “It’s early. Don’t you want to help pass out candy?”
“No, no. I’m tired. See you in the morning,” I say, not giving them a second look before I make it to my bedroom and slam the door.
Halloween was just the beginning of Tony’s casual caresses. He always found moments when we were alone to torture me. They would come in the form of him catching my bad good hand, giving my fingers a gentle squeeze. If he walked by me in a room, he would ever so slightly run his hand along the small of my back as he passed. When he would come into a room, he would greet me with a sideways hug while looking intently into my eyes lingering way past the point of, “Hello, it’s nice to see you, childhood friend of my favorite cousin.”
Just last week Gabby, Jude and I made the last minute decision to go out to dinner when Tony showed up to join us. It was too late for me to make an excuse to stay home since I had already said I was hungry. I even made the extra effort to put on a little makeup for the first time since I got out of the hospital. Putting on makeup with my bad good hand isn’t easy, but I kept it light so I didn’t look like Bozo the Clown. At least Gabby sat in the backseat with me on the way to dinner letting the tall guys sit up front. But as we entered the restaurant, Jude was dragging Gabby along in front of us when Tony lightly grabs my waist, stopping me in surprise. I turn to look up at him and once more he has me alone.
He pulls my side into his rock hard front and with his lips at my temple, he says gently, “You look beautiful, gem.” Then, if it can be believed, he proceeds to lightly kiss my temple before putting a hand to the small of my back giving me a nudge forward as if nothing happened.
Jude was already s
liding into the booth beside Gabby and grabbing her far hip, he gives her a good yank into his side. I had no choice but to sit next to Tony through dinner where he pressed his thigh and hip up against mine.
Pure. Torture.
“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry I’m late,” Paige announces, pulling me out of my Tony Torture memories as she bursts into the kitchen, arms full of covered dishes and containers of food. “My apartment size oven sucks and I can only bake one thing at a time in small dishes.”
“You’re always late,” her older sister, Charlotte, says chiding her.
“We don’t care if she’s late babe, we only care what she made,” Charlotte’s husband, Vic, returns. Looking to Paige, he asks with meaning, “What did you make?”
“Sweet potatoes with a brown sugar-nutmeg-honey glaze topped with candied pecans, a caramel apple pie and I tried a new corn bread dressing this year with bacon in it. Oh, and I made some cookies,” she adds offhanded.
I hear a beer bottle slam to the granite and look over to see Micah’s husband, Joe, say, “You made cookies?”
I hear the deck door slam and Tony saunters in asking, “My little pest made cookies?”
“Cookies!” tiny Chloe screams at the top of her lungs, as she clippety clops across the kitchen wearing a pair of Gabby’s high heels.
“What’s the deal with the cookies?” Jude’s deep voice enters the cookie conversation where he standing next to Lanny.
“Man, you know we like you,” Lanny, who’s married to Tony’s oldest sister Sophia, says to Jude. “But the problem with this family getting bigger and bigger means less cookies for everyone.” Lanny turns to Paige and speaks in cookie code, “Please tell me you made them.”
“Of course I made them,” Paige says, sounding exasperated. “It’s Thanksgiving. You can’t have Thanksgiving without pumpkin cookies.”