by Brynne Asher
“I don’t believe you,” she looks shocked, hopefully getting it through her thick skull I’ve had enough.
“Believe it. I’ve given in to you my entire life and I’m done,” I say turning to leave.
“Leigh--,” she calls in a high voice.
I ignore her and look back one more time, “Tomorrow mom, you had better be gone. Don’t push me.”
I turn to leave and pull the door shut behind me, pausing for a second to collect myself. I’ve never stood up to my mother. My entire life she has been challenging, thoughtless, conniving and just a plain bitch, but I’m done. I won’t allow it anymore, especially because Tina needs me now. I have to protect her from our mother so she can fight for her own life and be healthy again.
Pushing off from the door, I make my way down the steps of my apartment building I have yet to live in and feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket.
It’s a text from Tony.
Tony: Done with the press briefing. Meet you at home?
I can’t help but let that word sweep through me and I smile.
Home.
I bite my lip to suppress my grin as I let my fingers fly over the screen.
Me: Yeah, leaving my mom now. Meet you there.
Tony: Y r u with ur mom?
I giggle at his text. How I can tell he’s not happy over a text I don’t know, but I can.
Me: Calm down. I’ll explain. See you in a few.
Tony: Shit. Ok.
Now I’m sure I look like a loon laughing at my phone. I can’t help but find him a little funny when he’s frustrated with me. Tony was called into work again on his case that blew up this weekend. He’s gone from managing the sale of their company to managing their public relations. They called a press conference this afternoon to start damage control from what has turned into an embezzlement case.
Before I pull out of the parking lot, I send him one more text.
Me: Fried chicken.
After looking at the bubbles on my screen for two seconds, I get a text back.
Tony: Done.
This makes my smile grow even bigger as I pull out of my apartment complex, leaving my mother who is a pain in my ass and after spending the afternoon with my sister in drug treatment. I steer my cute little blue car that I love to Tony’s.
Or if I allow myself to let it be, home.
*****
“You ever stand up to your mom like that before?”
It’s late evening and Tony and I are in bed, him with his back to the headboard, knees up with his feet to the bed and I’m curled up in between his legs wearing nothing but his big soft t-shirt and a pair of panties. Finny is even curled up at the bottom of the bed, out like a light from his walk and then tossing the ball around with Tony in the backyard after our fried chicken drive through dinner, totally curing all remnants of my hang over.
When I let Finny jump up on the bed, Tony gave me a frustrated and meaningful “Leigh,” to which I gave him an “Oh, he’ll be fine,” to which Tony just shook his head at me giving in.
“Not really,” I answer. “I normally tried to appease her because it was easier than arguing with her. I was the same with Tina, but she was different today. I can’t help but hope she makes a real recovery this time. I know it’s going to be hard for her, she seems exhausted from living her life not knowing what’s coming next. I think she finally wants to be healthy.”
Tony kisses my head and says, “I’m proud of you for telling your mom how it is, but I’m fucking thrilled she’s leaving. How you lived with that, I’ll never know.”
“I never knew any different, really. Until I met Gabby. I saw how Luka and Meredith were with her and eventually how they loved me. That’s when I realized my mom was crazy with a capital C,” I explain.
“That’s one way of putting it,” he mutters as he starts playing with the ends of my hair.
After a few moments of silence Tony quietly says, “I have some news.”
I feel my body go tight and I twist to look up at him. Not able to read his face, I ask, “What’s wrong now?”
After pausing a few seconds while looking into my eyes, he says carefully, “I got a call from the DA today on my way home from the press briefing. It was about Preston.”
I pull in a breath as I twist back forward and focus on my sleeping dog at the foot of the bed and ask, “What about him?”
He gives me a squeeze with his arms and legs saying, “I told you they thought it would be hard to get a Manslaughter charge to stick. It was.”
I feel my stomach turn as I close my eyes and nod my head silently.
“There’s more,” Tony goes on. “The assault charges are his first offence. He made a deal with the DA’s office, pleading guilty to a lesser charge for no prison time. It’s all going to be finalized tomorrow.”
My stomach drops this time and I open my eyes to look at my dog. I’m not quite sure what to think of all this. I haven’t thought much about what would happen to Preston or how he would pay for what he did to me. I think I was just relieved to be removed from that life with him, all I could focus on was losing the baby. Then Tony inserted himself in my life and I didn’t have time to focus on much of anything because it took all my energy and headspace to focus on Tony.
I shrug my shoulders saying, “All right.”
“All right? That’s it?” he sounds shocked.
“I guess,” I start. “It went on for so long I was just relieved it was over. I never thought much about what would happen to him.”
I hear and feel him sigh since he’s surrounding me as he goes on, “He’ll get probation. If he ever violates his probation, he’ll be in deep shit.”
“Okay.”
This time I hear and feel a frustrated huff of air from Tony as he starts to turn me in his arms. I move around to face him and he pulls me into his lap demanding, “What are you thinking?”
“I’m not thinking anything.”
“You don’t feel anything?” he asks, baffled by my lack of response.
“What do you want me to feel?”
“Pissed, mad, scared, happy it’s over? I don’t know, something.”
“No. I don’t feel any of those things.”
“Sweetheart,” he starts as he pulls me closer to him. “No one will judge you for having any of those feelings. But you have to deal with it, whatever it is.”
“I don’t care what happens to him.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No,” I explain. “Honey, I think this is a good thing. Nothing about Preston makes me happy. And I’m not scared anymore. Trust me, I was scared for so long I can’t tell you how good it feels not to be scared. I don’t want to be pissed about anything either, that’s an exhausting way to live. Preston doesn’t deserve another ounce of my energy for the rest of my life. He’s taken enough from me as it is. But don’t you see, Tony?” I ask and lean into him framing his jaws with my hands. “You gave me that. I feel safe because of you. I don’t want to be pissed because you make me happy. I know what it’s like to live scared and alone. To feel safe and happy is a beautiful thing and you gave me that. I have a feeling I would be feeling all of those things if it weren’t for you. But because I have you, I don’t feel anything for Preston anymore. Not one thing. I will never take that for granted Tony. Not ever.”
His brows are pulled together and he’s memorizing me like he does so often. He pulls his hands up to my face and weirdly starts to nod his head slowly.
“Tony?” I call.
“You’re ready,” he says.
“What?”
“You’re better and you’re ready,” he kinda repeats.
“What are you talking about?”
“You should have seen you, gem. You were broken. You’ve come so far and you’ve done it quickly. I was prepared for the long haul, but you’re better and you’re ready.”
“Ready?”
He flips me to the side so I’m on my back. He’s half lying on top of me grinn
ing now and says, “Ready for what’s next.”
“No, I’m not. Really, I’m not,” I almost plead as his hand dips under his t-shirt making its way up to my breast. I don’t even know what ‘next’ is but when Tony does this he scares the dickens out of me in a whole different way.
“Yeah you are,” he says, leaning down to kiss me.
I turn my head to dodge his lips and say, “Why can’t we just be like this. I’m fine with things the way they are now.”
He pulls my t-shirt up and cups my breast while running the pad of his thumb over my nipple, multitasking, as he explains, “Gem, you need to pay attention. I told you I don’t want you to have fine. I told you I wanted to give you more than fine and I plan on it.”
“Maybe you should explain what your version of next is,” I say, fidgeting under his hands.
Dipping his head, I feel his tongue dart out to taste my neck as he murmurs, “You know what’s next.”
“Tony, stop,” I put my hand to his face to bring it up where I can see him. “We need to talk about this. I want to make you happy and give you what you want, too. But I don’t know when I’ll be ready. I’ve done the wedding thing and I don’t have fond memories. I feel like we’re good the way we are now. Why can’t we just be like this for a while?”
He sighs and looks at me, “We don’t have to have a big wedding.”
I raise my eyebrows at him like he’s crazy, which he is, and point out the obvious, “You think your family is going to let you have a quiet, small wedding?”
Looking resigned he sticks a hand under my back and rolls so I’m on top, “I’ll figure it out. I promise it won’t be anything you don’t want. I don’t care, just as long as it happens. Soon.”
“Again with the ‘soon,’” I mutter rolling my eyes.
I feel his hands dip into my panties to squeeze my ass and I look back down at him, “Very soon, gem. I’ve waited for you long enough.”
“Let’s talk about it later,” I say, letting my hand travel down dipping my fingers inside his pajama pants to find him long and hard. I cup him in my hand and he presses up into me.
“Don’t think you can distract me. I can make love to you and tell you what I want at the same time.”
“Figures,” I say as I circle his smooth tip with my fingers. “You are a talker.”
Tony immediately surges up bringing us to a sitting position with me straddling him. He whips my shirt off and as soon as it clears my head I see him grinning and shaking his head at me. Then he flips me to my back, making Finny whine with protest from us waking him up from his slumber at the foot of the bed.
“You challenging me?” Tony asks, as he yanks my panties down my legs, leaving me as bare as the day I was born.
“No!” I exclaim, realizing I don’t need to challenge Tony in anything, especially when it comes to him telling me what next and soon entails.
He reaches over to his nightstand, opens the drawer and grabs a condom. He puts it in between his teeth to hold and mumbles while yanking his pants off, “I won’t need these condoms much longer.”
“Quit saying things to freak me out on purpose,” I grin, because now he’s just teasing me, I can tell by the glint in his eyes.
“We’ll have a big ass wedding,” he mutters then reaches up and rips the condom open, spitting the wrapper off to the side. “I might let my mother plan the whole thing.”
“Tony!” I say, but my eyes wander as I watch him roll on his condom, admiring his beautiful body.
“But we need to hurry so we can have a shit load of kids. I think I want to beat Gabby, maybe I’ll knock you up before the wedding,” he looks down at me with mischievous eyes as he grabs one knee lifting it high, positioning himself between my legs. He reaches down with his fingers to touch me, sliding two fingers easily inside me as he asks, “You ready for me, gem?”
Smiling back up at him while pushing down on his fingers, I answer, “Always.”
“Good,” he murmurs as he pulls his finger out and surges into me.
I moan, loving the feel of him and pull my other knee up to take as much of him as I can.
“You know I’m shitting you,” he says and I feel his thumb come to my clit, rubbing circles as stays planted inside me deep.
“I know,” I say with hooded eyes.
“About the big wedding,” he goes on.
“Tone,” I try and admonish him but it comes out really lame because he’s making me warm.
“And I would never let my mother plan anything,” he adds.
To this I can’t even respond because the warm is turning to tingles.
“But I was serious about everything else,” I hear him say as my tingles turns hot and I do everything I can to press harder into his thumb.
“It’s gonna happen, might as well happen sooner than later,” his voice, rough and deep.
"Please stop talking.”
After a few minutes of Tony torturing me, giving me what I want, I cry out and he really starts to move. Hard and fast, the way I’ve grown to love it from Tony. Taking me, making me his. I love being his, more than anything.
He leans down to take my mouth giving me a searing kiss as I feel his body become rigid and tense. He stuffs his face in my neck as he slams into me two more times, staying planted deep and giving me his weight.
I tangle one leg around his big heavy thigh and keep the other high by his side. He presses into me one more time before he lifts his head and looks down at me.
“Love you,” he says on an exhale.
I pause and let that seep through me before uttering the words for the first time without being drunk or demanded to, “I love you, too, honey.”
Tony’s face softens and he dips his head to kiss me softly. When he lifts his head, his words come at me as a promise, “Yeah, you’re ready.”
But before I can protest, add to the conversation or heaven forbid, agree, he pulls out of me and climbs out of the bed to head to the bathroom. I roll over and pull the covers up around me and hear him call for Finny to let him out and put him to bed. Finny jumps down and races out following Tony.
When he returns, he drops his pajama pants again and climbs in bed with me. Rolling into him, I decide quiet is the way to go. I don’t need Tony making me anymore promises or declarations, let alone teasing me in a way that doesn’t really seem like teasing because I think he really means most of it.
“You tired?” he asks.
“Mm-hmm,” I hum into his neck.
I feel his lips come to my forehead and he says, “Goodnight, gem.”
“Night, honey.”
*****
I turn the corner to my street and start up hill hearing nothing but my running shoes hit the pavement. The morning light is barely peaking up over the horizon. I decided to run outside this morning instead of hitting the gym before work since the warmer weather is supposed to stick around for another few days before the temps are supposed to dip again.
I left Leigh in bed this morning, kissed her and told her I’d see her after my run. Fin had jumped into our bed again and had his head rested on her stomach while she was scratching his ears. I shook my head at her letting the dog up on the bed for the second day in a row. I couldn’t get upset with her when she grinned at me with big eyes telling me she knew what I was thinking. I’d do anything to see her like that, happy and naked in my bed, even if it means having a dog in it with us.
I slow to a walk as I hit the sidewalk in front of my house. Moving up to the front door I come to an abrupt halt as something catches my eye on the ground. Half way sticking out from under the door mat is a manila envelope. Wiping the sweat off my face with my shirt, I move to the door and bend to slide it out from under the mat. It’s a legal size envelope and I swear this wasn’t here when I left this morning, I would’ve noticed.
It’s blank on both sides, so I pinch open the brackets to open the flap. I reach in and pull out its contents, making my heart stop and my stomach flip at the same time.
I turn immediately and scan the street. I don’t see any sign of life.
Fuck.
Chapter 20 - Let Me Be Yours
Standing behind my desk in my home office, I stare down at contents of the envelope in front of me.
Pictures.
And a note.
I feel like my insides are coiled so tight I might explode. Most of the pictures are just of Leigh, but a few are of Leigh and I together. They were taken yesterday, I can tell from what we were wearing. There are pictures of Leigh walking from her apartment building looking ahead as she walks, getting into her car and more of her sitting there. Some are close up, some far away. She’s wearing a private smile in some of them as she looks down at her phone typing on the screen. One even looks like she’s close to laughing.
Others are of Leigh and I walking Fin yesterday. I’ve got my arm around her neck, pulling her close as we walk to whisper in her ear or kiss the side of her head. More pictures of us walking and holding hands. Some are of Leigh bent down, scratching Fin or looking up at me with a huge smile on her face. The most disturbing by far are the close ups focused on Leigh. And it’s worse because I remember everything she was saying to me when the pictures were taken and what we were talking about.
But the note is what cuts me to the core and has me itching to hunt down the sick bastard that took these. It’s typed in plain font and reads, “You took something from me, now I’ll take something from you.”
I drop to my chair and lean forward to rest my forehead in my hands. It has to be Preston. But he’s cutting a deal today with the DA’s office. Why in the fuck would he do this now? With these pictures they could have proof of him violating his restraining order and I wasn’t kidding when I told Leigh last night he’ll be in deep shit if he violates his probation. He’ll face jail time and so far he’s done everything possible to avoid it.
I don’t want to tell Leigh about this but someone is following her, taking pictures of her and threatening me by threatening her. She has to know. But shit, this is going to set her back and she has progressed quickly, especially in the past few days. Dreading what I have to do, I decide to leave the pictures and note here, breaking it to her first.