His hungry stare makes it hard to concentrate on what we’re actually talking about. I whisper, “But—but I can’t let you fail.”
“I failed you, January.” His voice sounds a little agonized. Tortured. He goes on sounding just as tortured, “I can’t live with that. I really can’t. And I can’t live without you, okay? So we’re not through. We’re not ‘done.’ I know I screwed up—so many times—and if you just want to be best friends with me, okay—I signed a contract for that, I’m willing to do that—I just, I need you in my life, okay? However I can have you—that’s how I want you.”
I blink at him. What?! He thinks I just want to be friends??
As if to prove his complete cluelessness, he says with a weak adorable smile, “Look, January, I know you don’t like acknowledging this, but I’m a guy.”
Again—what?!
I’m all flabbergasted, so quite shocked when his warm hands come on my shoulders.
Like a spaz, I jerk away. “What are you doing?!”
“Will you just stand still?”
He kisses me again. I murmur in breathless wonder, “Whoa, tingles!”
He grins. “Told you.”
And yet he only seemed to do it to prove some sort of point. (!!) Instead of continuing on with his delightful, hot kiss he holds me steady at arm’s length so he can keep me upright, and—apparently—so he can look me in the eye. (Swoon.)
He asks, “Ally said it’s in my kiss, right? That you can tell how I feel in my kiss?”
Dizzily, I nod.
“Well, can you tell?”
I stammer out, “I don’t know—it kind of seems like your kiss lies.”
He says softly, “It doesn’t.”
“Well, the way you’ve been acting—”
“January, I’ve been messed up.”
“Yeah, okay. I get that your girlfriend died—I totally get that part. But the thing is,” I suck in my breath, trying to be able to think straight and speak comprehensively with him looking into my eyes like he is, “Conrad, things were bad even before that—”
“Yeah,” he draws out a breath looking full of remorse, “I left without saying goodbye.”
“Right! But really things between us were horrible even before that.”
“Wait, what? How far back does your anger towards me go, January?” He looks at me with incredulous bewilderment, then runs a hand over his face. “Okay, what exactly all are you mad at?—and where did it start?—all your anger at me?”
I spout out, “You dated Trisha.”
He blinks. “In the eighth grade??” He gives me another incredulous look. “January, you gave me permission. You said it was great.”
“It wasn’t.”
He says huskily, “January, I practically begged you not to let me go out with her.”
I scoff, “Right.”
Then I add grumpily, “And then you became ‘The Giver.’”
“When I explained about that—what it meant—it was right after I gave you that doll you always wanted, right before I went away for the summer.” He grins reflectively, “When I explained about ‘The Giver’ nickname, I offered to give you a different present.”
“You were only teasing,” I remind him.
“I wanted to kiss you so bad though. And then, I thought about you all that summer—I mean, I had a girlfriend, yet all I could think about was you and how I wanted to kiss you so bad that day I gave you the doll. And then when I got back, you were even more beautiful than before I left—which was the most beautiful girl on the planet, by the way.”
He makes this teeny tiny moan noise, “So I felt kind of … messed up. I mean, we’d signed that contract, where we would be best friends forever, and we’d never, ever kiss. Yet that was all I wanted to do—kiss you.”
“You should have,” I blurt out without even knowing I was going to.
He blinks in wonder, then raises his eyebrows. “January, you pawned me off to your friend when I thought you were asking me on a date.”
“Huh?”
“To the movies that time.”
Heat fills me as I suddenly remember. “Oh, Paige. She was really sad—her parents were getting a divorce.”
“So you gave her me?”
“Well … sort of.”
He gives me this incredulous look. “I was sadly excited that day—waiting for you at the movies, thinking finally you put me out of the friend-zone. I even broke-up with my girlfriend that let me do creepy things to her, because I thought finally, finally it was going to happen—us together. Then your crazy friend shows up.”
He gives me this weak tiny smile. “I was crushed.”
I swallow. “I’m sorry. It doesn’t make any sense now—but at the time, it did. Well, sort of.” Though really, now, looking back, it didn’t ever make sense. At all. “I’m sorry,” I tell him again.
He nods, like he gets that.
After a long pause, with him just looking into my eyes intently. He says softly, “So, is that it? The end of why you’re so angry with me?”
“No, not even,” I tell him, suddenly boiling mad as I snap back to the real-world that involves more than his hungry eyes and his sweet soft confessions of love—that clearly aren’t true, since I suddenly remember what had me so hurt and angry to begin with.
With a growl I inform him about what I heard him telling Griffin that night at his birthday party, where he didn’t want to ‘name-names’ but had a stalker ‘gal-pal’ that was being a romantically deviant menace.
Conrad squints his eyes as I recount the story to him, saying nothing, just furrowing his brow deeper and deeper. When I’m done, he’s silent. He just stares at me. “January, I don’t know who I was talking about, I have no clue, but I can assure you, it wasn’t you. I had other ‘gal-pals,’ January. But you weren’t a ‘pal’ to me. You were my best friend. Man, you were my everything. Then you stopped talking to me. You broke my heart, January.”
After a moment of silence, he says, “So when my mom needed me, I went with her—I intended to come back. I swear, I did. But when you blocked me from everything, I was devastated, and I thought, ‘Okay, maybe I should just take this as a sign. I need a new start, a new life.’ Since I was hooked on you, and you were clearly not hooked on me.”
I gape, “What?!”
“That’s the way it seemed—at every turn. You gave me to your friend, then you abruptly stopped talking to me when you could see at my birthday party I couldn’t take my eyes off you. It freaked you out—that’s what it seemed like. Was I wrong?” He juts his chin challengingly, “—tell me I was wrong.”
“You were so incredibly wrong.”
He swallows and slowly nods. “I’m sort of starting to suspect that.”
“Because it’s true!”
We stare at each other, not able to speak, just drinking in the fact we actually both have strong ‘more than friends’ feelings for each other—and have for a long, long time.
My lips part slightly with bewilderment. “In the shoe store that day—the first day we spoke since you came back, you let me say you were a jerk—and you acted like you agreed with me, that you had treated me demonically.”
Conrad lifts an eyebrow, “I did. I left without saying goodbye.” He nudges closer to me, “—to you, my best friend.”
“But I was treating you terrible before that—no wonder you didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t give you a chance. But Conrad, it was all because I was hurt and mad about the ‘gal-pal’ thing—so hurt, so mad—but it was only about that, and it turns out it wasn’t even your fault, not at all, not in the slightest—yet when you came back, you acted like I had a right to be so mad at you when you left.”
He shrugs, “Well, you kind of did. I left without telling you goodbye. Yeah, it’s true you blocked me from everything, but when I left, I planned to just help my mom get settled and heal a little—and then I planned to come back, and so, I left without saying goodbye to you—on purpose. I hoped while I was away, you�
��d see that you missed me, and maybe realize that you loved me as much as I loved you. But instead, that didn’t happen—you got a boyfriend, and my mom ended up being in way worse shape than I’d realized.”
“Wait—you love me?”
I know he said that before, but now I’m ready to actually believe him—or anyway, I totally want to. Totally. But it’s stunning and amazing and is going to take a long, long time to actually sink in, since I had thought otherwise for soooo long.
Conrad tilts his head. “Haven’t you realized that yet? I loved you since the day you came crashing through my window—I was just always too chicken to ever tell you because of that contract you made me sign. But after Lydia died, when I finally got my head on straight—after that, I rushed here, back to you to tell you. I had it all planned out. It was going to be so romantic. I climbed your back deck—which was my substitute for a fire-escape—anyway, I climbed it with roses and was going to confess my love, like on your favorite movie, Pretty Woman.”
My heart flutters. “Oh, that would have been nice.”
He smiles. “I know, right? That’s what I thought—only,” he ducks his head, “when I got there—on your fire-escape slash deck—I saw you through the window … you were kissing your boyfriend. My heart sank, and after that, I didn’t have the strength to even see you. I was so messed up, I couldn’t deal with enduring you being tight with another guy, so I avoided seeing you. After that night, I didn’t go back to see you, not once, ever—though I was dying to see you. To be with you and talk to you. But I couldn’t do it. Then you showed up at my store.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I guess I have some issues.”
I grin. “You think?”
I mean, he’d hired a guy to be a horrible date, and he, himself, dated a girl because she looked like his dead girlfriend. Issues? Maybe a couple.
“I just want to try to explain myself,” he tells me softly. “Lydia’s ex-boyfriend had been abusive to her—that’s mostly what our relationship consisted of—I tried to help her. My mom says I’m prone to cave for damsels in distress. Lydia was that—always. I wanted to save her. But now all I want is you.”
I scoff in dismay, “But I’m not a damsel in distress.”
“No,” he says. “I’m the one in distress. I’m the one that needs saving.”
He whispers huskily, “I need you.”
CHAPTER 80
Best day of my life! Conrad confessing his love—Mmmm. It was a dream come true. I float into my house after dance class, and immediately get a text from Conrad. “Come out on your pseudo fire-escape.”
My heart fluttering, I find him standing on my deck with roses and a huge smile. “I’m not going anywhere this time,” he says. “I’ll be brave and just do this scene full-on. I love you, January. I’ve always loved you, since the moment you came through my window, right in the middle of me saying a prayer, asking God for a reason we had to move—then there you were, like an answer from God—the reason I had to leave all my friends—it was to find you, my best friend. You were my answer, and all I could do was thank God. And I thank Him every day, January—thank him that you’re in my life. So please stay in it, okay?”
I nod. “Okay.”
“—but not only as my best friend anymore,” he says. “I have a new contract for you to sign. I mean, the old one is still in effect, as it’s forever. But this new one isn’t a best friend contract, it’s a girlfriend contract. Will you sign it?”
I glance at the paper he hands me. It’s on a school napkin, just like our other contract had been. But this one says, ‘I promise to be Conrad’s girlfriend.’ That’s all it says. Nothing more.
He grins. “I didn’t want to get too wordy.”
He goes on, “Or try to put too many stipulations on it, since I wanted to make sure you’d sign it.”
“I will,” I tell him breathlessly.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he says huskily crashing his warm tantalizing lips against mine, sending thrilled electrical sparks dancing through my entire enraptured body from his hungry kiss. Tingles, tingles, tingles.
Hey, my boyfriend is The Giver. Lucky me!
(I have a contract and everything.)
Thank you, God!
**********
Update: Keep reading. There is a romantic teen short story included in this book after the following book info.
Note about the story you just read: January’s friends, Griffin and Ally, (Griffin is captain of the hockey team; Ally is the girl that put together the fundraiser—and put Conrad and January together) they are from the author’s book, “His Kiss.” The book is only a dollar right now (or you can read it for free if you have unlimited). The first few chapters of “His Kiss” are included in this book after the following book info, then there is a romantic teen short story.
Note from the author:
A tiny scene in the book you just read that didn’t make it into the book itself, but may be of interest is below:
Conrad shows me a message he just got from North: “It was the cleanest, gentlest porn I could possibly find—I swear.”
I stare at the words, not quite certain what it means. “So it was on purpose? A set up?”
“Um, I don’t know. I didn’t ask him to do it.” Conrad shakes his head slightly with a bewildered smile. “He’s a good friend … maybe. I guess.”
Then North sardonically sends Conrad one last massage: “Tell her if we really do ever go to the movies it won’t have to be something like that, what she saw. Porn, I mean. Just remind her about the neck promise though.”
I quietly take Conrad’s phone from him and delete the message. Conrad watches me with a smirk. Then he kisses me wild.
**
The author’s newest books are:
*The Boy Next Door
*Hockey Guy and Tutor Girl
*Jane’s Air
*Heartbreaker Hanson
*When You Noticed Me
They are each a dollar right now (or you can read them for free if you have unlimited).
**
Note about the story you just read: The author’s next book will be about North Moretti. The title hasn’t been decided yet, but it will be available late this August, 2017. (So depending on when you read this book, it may already be available.) Check the author’s website often. That book will also include a short story about Ally and Griffin from this book, about the bid night and what happened for Ally and Griffin. It’s called, “Ally, Griffin and the Rich Guy,” and will only be available in the author’s new book as a bonus. But keep reading this book that you are reading at this moment, as there are chapters to the book, “His Kiss” which is about Ally and Griffin, and how they first meet and get together. His Kiss is available now and only costs a dollar. (Or you can read it for free if you have unlimited.) After the peek at “His Kiss,” there is another story included in this book, so keep reading.
**
Summary of the book starring January’s friend Ally and the hockey team’s captain, Griffin Piper (the book is called: His Kiss)
HIS KISS:
Ally’s world was totally on track: the right boyfriend, the right school activities, the right plans. But then she is bribed into kissing the school “bad boy.” (Griffin Piper.) Now nothing is right. Nothing! Because all she can think about is … His Kiss.
(His Kiss is available now and only costs a dollar)
**
Summary of:
THE BOY NEXT DOOR:
We grew up right next door to each other. He’d been my everything—first my best friend, then my boyfriend … then my total enemy. Unfortunately, my heart still longs for him, but sadly so does every other girls’ at our school. I should stay away from him, definitely; but once he starts inexplicably talking to me again, he makes it hard. In fact, he makes it impossible. And impossible for me to get together with the guy I’m pretty sure I’m meant to be with. He’s doing everything he can t
o keep us apart. What’s up with that???
***
Summary of:
HOCKEY GUY AND TUTOR GIRL:
The tough (hot) hockey player at my high school wants me to be his tutor … with kissing benefits. BUT he’s my best friend’s total enemy. (My best friend is a hot guy, by the way.) I’m finding I have disturbingly crushy feelings for them both. Yikes! What’s a sweet, innocent Tutor Girl to do?
***
Summary of:
JANE’S AIR:
Seventeen year-old Jane becomes an orphan and is pawned off by her aunt to work (and live) at the home (slash mansion) of the most handsome boy at Jane’s high school—Hunter Rochester. Hunter takes Jane’s breath away. But the handsome flirt is a mystery to Jane. Why did he persuade his mother to hire Jane to care for his little brother? And what other secrets is he keeping? (Jane has a secret of her own: she’s fallen hard for mysterious Hunter Rochester.)
***
Summary of:
WHEN YOU NOTICED ME:
I had secretly loved him forever. Then in high school, he finally noticed me. He only kissed me to save me from an embarrassing moment. But that kiss changed everything. (Everything!) Now I catch his gaze lingering on me, and he seems to lose his breath when I’m near. But the problem?—I’m dating his best friend. I want to date HIM, but that can never be … right? Right?!
***
Summary of:
HEARTBREAKER HANSON:
Three hot guys, one girl. Sounds dreamy, right? … Well, not if you’re one of the hot guys.
Brooke Watts: To be fair, there are only TWO hot guys. And they are both off limits. One of them is my friend’s ex-boyfriend, and the other is a heartbreaker. (I call him Heartbreaker Hanson—but his name is Rider Hanson). He was my kindergarten boyfriend. The dude dumped me and broke my heart … and then went on to make a career of it—breaking girls’ hearts.
The Boyfriend Contract Page 17