by Amy Lillard
Nadine smiled in return. “I guess you’re right. Maybe I’ll join instead. My hands aren’t what they used to be, but I might have a quilt or two left in me.”
“Verna Yutzy is a member.”
“Verna?” Nadine asked. “Sign me up.”
Charlotte laughed, then pushed to her feet. “I think I’ll go on back to bed. I was just checking on Goldie.”
“Is she all right?”
“Sleeping it off, poor baby.”
“At least the chase wore her out.”
Charlotte made her way to the door and nodded. “Jah, that’s one good thing to come out of today. ’Night.”
“’Night,” Nadine returned. And this was another.
* * *
“Want to run into town with me?” Charlotte asked first thing Friday morning.
Nadine blinked and tried to get everything into focus. “How are you so chipper?” she grumbled. So much for turning over a new leaf when the sun came up. But after Charlotte had left her room, Nadine had extinguished the light and lain there in the darkness, just staring at nothing and wondering about all the things they had talked about.
She wanted to be happy. But the problem was she didn’t know what she needed to be happy. She had never allowed herself time to think about it. And along comes Amos Fisher and sets her life sideways.
“It’s a beautiful day,” Charlotte said by way of explanation.
Nadine wasn’t sure what was worse—the times when Charlotte was blue or times like these when she was sugary nice and ready for anything. “I suppose.”
In truth, it was a beautiful day, but its splendor was overshadowed by her own concerns. She needed an answer. She didn’t like not having an answer. But she hoped she didn’t feel this morose until she found one. Who knew how long that would be?
Lord, please give me strength and wisdom to find my way. Amen.
“I thought I’d go into town and get some fabric to make Amos a new shirt. It’s the least I can do after he ruined his last night.”
“How are you going to get his measurements?” Charlotte smiled cunningly. “I took the ruined one out of the trash barrel and cleaned it up this morning. The paint didn’t come off, but the soot did. I’m going to take it apart and use it as a pattern.”
“Perfect idea.”
“Can I get you some material for a new dress. I didn’t check last night, but I’m sure you had paint on you as well.”
“No need.”
Charlotte rushed to the table and eased down into one of the seats. “Please. I know that Goldie had been something of a . . . trial. Let me make you a new dress. As a show of good faith.”
“Have you thought about obedience school?” Nadine asked.
Charlotte colored from the neckline of her dress clear up to her hair. “She is a handful.”
“Like all living creatures, she just needs a bit of discipline.”
“Jah,” Charlotte said. “I suppose.”
They both looked down to where Goldie had taken ahold of the hem on Charlotte’s dress and was in the middle of her very own battle of tug of war.
She stopped when she saw that all eyes were on her. Then she growled and pulled harder as if to show off for the humans.
“If you continue to let her do that, you’ll have to make all new dresses for yourself too,” Nadine said.
“Come on now, precious.” Charlotte tried to dislodge the pup’s teeth from the fabric of her dress without tearing it.
Seeing that she had Charlotte’s attention once again, she turned loose and allowed Charlotte to scoop her up into her arms.
One thing at a time, Nadine told herself. First the discipline, then the no dogs at the table.
But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that the pup was indeed a compensation for Jenna moving out—again—and this whole discipline argument was going to be hard to win.
“Blue?” Charlotte asked, still cradling the dog in her lap. “Your eyes always look fantastic when you wear blue.”
“You really don’t have to make me a new dress,” Nadine said.
“But I want to,” Charlotte returned. “Just let me do this for you.”
“Jah, fine,” Nadine finally said. “I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary.”
“You’re welcome and it most certainly is.”
* * *
“Here you are.” Amos handed the cookie to the little girl and made his way back behind the counter. She was a cute thing, boasting long blond pigtails with proper pink bows clipped to each one. She smiled her thanks to him, showing him the space where she had lost her front tooth.
“That’s it,” Esther said, as he waved good-bye to the young mom and daughter. “Your shift is over. And here is your paycheck.”
“Danki.” Amos took the check and stuffed it into his back pocket without even looking at it. This job wasn’t about the money. It never had been.
“See you tomorrow morning,” she said. “Early.”
“Jah.” He nodded and headed for the door. He was working the early shift on Saturday so Jodie could go visit her sister and new baby in Clarita. Early Saturday was normally her shift. He didn’t mind. He liked helping out. Plus it gave him something to do besides think about Nadine.
Amos untied his apron and hung it in the back room. Then he washed his hands, said good-bye to everyone, and headed out the door.
He should go home. Catch up on a few chores, work on the flower bed he had started a week or so ago.
But thinking about flower beds made him think about Nadine and Goldie and his offer to move their tractor tire planter. He didn’t mind thinking about the plants, or even the dog. But he did mind thinking about Nadine. Some might even call it self-torture.
Instead of hopping on his tractor, he walked the couple of blocks down to the Austin Tiger Shed Company.
“Amos!” they all greeted as he walked in the door. The place was full today, with every desk occupied. He could even see Gary in his office shuffling papers as he looked for something among the layers of stuff scattered across his desk.
“Hey.” He went around and shook hands with everyone he hadn’t seen in a while, but he landed on Dan’s desk, as had become his custom of late.
“Buy you a cup of coffee?” Amos asked.
“That sounds serious,” Dan said. “Give me a minute.” He scanned a paper into the computer, typed a bit on the keyboard, then stood and stretched his legs. “Just need to get that estimate out. That’ll give them something to chew on for a while.”
“Great,” Amos said.
Dan let Gary know that he was taking a break, and with good-natured ribbing following them, they headed out the door.
“Kauffman’s?” Amos asked.
“I’d rather go to Esther’s if you don’t mind.”
“Sure,” he said even though he had just left there. That wasn’t the real problem though. He needed to keep everyone at Esther’s from overhearing the conversation he was about to have. He would manage though.
“Good,” Dan said with a smile. “I have a hankering for one of those Christmas cookies. Whoever thought of that was a genius.”
Amos nodded. “I believe it was Ivy Weaver. She was the little redheaded girl who worked there for a while.”
“With ideas like that, why doesn’t she work there still?”
“She fell in love with a rogue. Zeb Brenneman. He went down to Florida and started following the Beachy ways. Came home for a spell, then went back, taking Ivy and her grandfather with him.”
“You sort of lost me on the Beachy ways, but I get the gist.”
“It’s a different kind of Amish. More like Englisch, I suppose. Electricity. Cars.”
“Interesting.”
The bell over the bakery door rang when they walked through.
“Can’t get enough of us, Amos Fisher?”
“I missed your sweet face, Esther Fitch.”
She chuckled and made her way behind the counter. “What can I ge
t you?”
“Two coffees and two Christmas cookies.”
“I know you want a teddy bear, Amos. What about you?”
“Santa Claus,” Dan said with a grin that made him look about six, but only for a moment.
Esther got their order, and they carried it over to a table. The afternoon crowd hadn’t hit yet, and school was still in, but in about an hour, Amos knew the place would be full up of teens and families getting that before-supper snack.
“What’s going on?”
“I think I’m going to have to stop seeing Nadine.” It was a heartache and a relief to finally say the words out loud to someone. He had been living with the knowledge for less than twenty-four hours, but it was eating him up.
“I thought the two of you were just friends.”
Amos sighed and took a sip of his coffee. “We are, but I’ve been holding out hope. You know, that if I became her friend, she would loosen up a bit and see that there could be some romance there.”
“So she doesn’t like you or she doesn’t like romance?” he asked. Then he winced. “Sorry, that didn’t come out exactly as I intended.”
“I understand.” Amos broke off a bite of his cookie, even though he didn’t feel like eating it now. “She doesn’t believe a person can find true love twice in a lifetime.”
“And she’s already had her chance?” Dan guessed.
He nodded. “Seeing her and spending time with her ... sometimes it’s so much fun I can’t wait until we’re together again. And other times . . . well, my heart breaks and bleeds, and I wonder why I’m doing this to myself.”
“It sounds like you know what you have to do.” Dan started in on his cookie, but unlike Amos, he still had his appetite.
“I do.”
“So why did you need to talk to me?”
“I guess I needed you to confirm it for me.”
“It makes me sad for you, buddy, but you have to take care of yourself. If you let yourself continue to be hung up on a woman who’s not hung up on you, you might miss an opportunity you hadn’t known was coming.”
“You’re right,” Amos said.
“Good,” Dan replied. “Now finish your cookie.”
Amos ate his cookie, talked to Dan, and drank his coffee all like he didn’t have a heartbreak looming ahead of him. Love was hard.
Lord, why did You make love so difficult?
But God wasn’t going to answer, and if He did, how was Amos supposed to know he was understanding? He’d sure messed up with Nadine.
They threw their trash in the can by the door, waved good-bye to Esther and Jodie, and headed out into the beautiful late-April sunshine.
The town was picking up. School must have let out, which meant a lot more people in town. All the more reason for him to head home and start forgetting about Nadine Burkhart.
“See ya later,” Dan said, starting toward the shed company offices. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Danki,” Amos said.
“Amos Fisher. I’ve been looking all over the place for you.” Mabel Ebersol rushed up to him as if her house were on fire and he had the only bucket of water.
Dan shot Amos a look. As if to say, this might be your next big opportunity.
“Hi, Mabel.”
Dan smiled and gave Amos a salute that he didn’t know how to interpret before making his way down the street.
“What’s the matter, Mabel?”
“Oh, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to talk to you about something. Care for a piece of Kauffman’s pie?”
“Uh, jah. Sure.”
They walked down the sidewalk together to the restaurant. The foot traffic was increasing, and Kauffman’s was always a busy place after school. It was the closest thing to a hangout the Englisch and Amish teens of Wells Landing had. And it had become even more so since Cora Ann had talked her mother into installing a milkshake maker. At least that was the rumor, and with as smart and innovative as Cora Ann Kauffman could be, he was fairly certain it was true.
So Kauffman’s was the place to come for French fries and a chocolate shake before heading home to whatever homework they had.
The problem was the customers in Kauffman’s. Being so busy, it would be a miracle if they didn’t run into someone they knew, and the fact that he was having pie with Mabel Ebersol would be the talk of the meeting come Monday night.
But with any luck—any luck at all—no one would see them and therefore couldn’t misread the situation.
Why do you care? You just made up your mind to stop seeing Nadine. Why should you care that everyone might think you’re now seeing Mabel? They were both single and in good standing with the church, aside from the fact that it truly was no one’s business but their own. No one could say a thing.
Sadie seated them and Cora Ann took their order.
“What’s so not urgent that you came to town looking for me?”
Mabel smiled. She was pretty, he supposed. He had never really thought about it much. She had nice dimples, a sweet round face and pretty blue eyes with dark lashes. He figured her gray hair had once been black as pitch. He bet she had been a beauty back in the day.
“I was out at the Kings’ visiting with Priscilla yesterday, and she showed me the little playhouse you built for Abbie’s twins. And I want you to build me one.”
Amos’s eyes widened a bit, but he tried to hide his surprise. “You want a playhouse?”
“Not for me, Amos.” Her tone was filled with you silly man. “For my granddaughters. Chris’s girls.”
“I see.”
“Will you build them one? I’d like to have it before Mother’s Day—that’s their birthday this year—so it’s a present for all of them.” She grinned as if it was simply the best idea ever.
“I guess I could get one done for you by then.” He didn’t mean to sound so unsure, but the entire conversation had thrown him off. Or maybe it was pie on top of a cookie and two cups of coffee that was making him feel a little weird. He had a great sweet tooth, but he had been trying to cut back. And he still hadn’t gotten Charlotte’s coconut cake recipe.
He shook himself out of his thoughts.
“That would be fantastic,” Mabel was saying.
He smiled and hoped he didn’t look as distracted as he felt. “Deal.”
* * *
“Nadine!” Charlotte called, running into the house, breathless and red-faced.
After Charlotte had left, Nadine had played with Goldie for a while, throwing a ball and letting the pooch chase after it. Goldie hadn’t mastered the concept of bringing it back so Nadine had to fetch it herself whenever it was time to throw it again. Her hope had been to wear out the dog so she wouldn’t have so much leftover energy to destroy things. It had worked, but Nadine was worn out as well.
It was true. She wasn’t as young as she used to be. So when Goldie had shown signs of fatigue, Nadine had brought her in. Goldie flopped down on the floor, and Nadine had flopped down on the couch. That’s where Charlotte found them when she came in.
“You are never going to believe what happened!”
Goldie jumped to her paws and ran over to greet Charlotte, bracing up on Charlotte’s leg and stretching. She let out a big puppy yawn.
“What?” Nadine pushed the blurry, sleepy thoughts to the corners of her mind and sat up, with a stretch of her own. Her spine popped. The noise sounded painful, but thankfully it felt pretty good.
“Amos Fisher eating pie with Mabel Ebersol in Kauffman’s this afternoon.”
There could be plenty of reasons why Amos was eating pie with Mabel. But the words still wounded.
“Amos is free to do whatever he likes. We’re not dating. We’re just friends.”
Charlotte propped her hands on her hips and sucked in a deep breath. “How long are you going to keep this up?”
“I’m not going to answer that except to say that Amos Fisher can have pie with whomever he wants.”
“If you keep this up much longer, y
ou’re going to lose him. To someone just like Mabel Ebersol.”
Charlotte marched out of the house with Goldie nipping at her heels.
So much for wearing her out, Nadine thought. She was still tired, and the dog had recharged in no time at all.
But one thing was certain: She didn’t want to think about what Charlotte had just said. She and Amos were just friends, and that’s all they would ever be.
“I got the fabric though.” Charlotte came back in and held up her sack. Goldie trotted behind her, jumping and biting at the corners.
“I’m sure Amos will appreciate it.”
“You want to help me?” Charlotte asked.
“That’s all you,” Nadine said and took the puppy outside. There was no way Charlotte would be able to make anything with the dog underfoot. Who knew? Maybe this time she could actually teach the puppy to bring the ball back.
Chapter Seventeen
But when Nadine was alone, she had trouble pretending that she really didn’t care what Amos was up to and with whom. She could only tell herself that she shouldn’t care. That she didn’t have the right to care and that caring would get her no place a’tall.
Thankfully, by supper time, Charlotte was too enamored of the shirt she was making for Amos to mention anything other than the color and how much she hoped he liked it. Nadine was sure that it was a fine color, but she managed not to have to peek at it. She was trying hard to distance herself from all things dealing with Amos Fisher. Even admiring the material used to fashion him a new shirt was a bond she didn’t want to have.
They ate supper with Charlotte still chatting away, and Nadine nodding politely at all the right intervals. They cleaned up the kitchen, read their Bibles, and worked on their yarn crafts until time for bed.
Nadine was feeling sleepy until she lay down. It was as if, once she was prone, her eyes wouldn’t stay shut. As she had the night before, she lay awake and stared at the dark nothingness in her room.
But she didn’t want to get up. And she didn’t want to turn the light on. She didn’t want another midnight meeting with Charlotte. The last one had been enlightening, but Nadine needed to be alone with her thoughts. She needed to put them all in order and see how they sorted out.