by Laurie Mann
And, Madam. She suspects too. This weekend. She’s promised to find out. How, I don’t know, but Sunday the car will collect me and ....
I’m sorry, the tears spoil your pretty pages, but I can’t help it. The fear I felt at the loss of my journal is nothing to the dread I feel today.
I trust Rock, he helped with Lisa, didn’t he? I decided to phone her, but then ... Oh, no! Eyes, nose. I can see now, Lisa’s. Couldn’t be, it was Lisa punished and clamped to my nipples. Confirmation she is Madam’s ally. Her look in the office and, she’s off sick, like me. A bug, I told Rock. Same look in eyes, Rock had said.
I must speak with Rock, before he goes and before this weekend. He must help, no-one else can.
“Rock?” No, answering machine.
“Hello, Rock. Dinner at the Royal Oak, eight o’clock, Friday. Please.”
The waiting’s intolerable. Will he be there? Will he even confirm? Maybe he’s away and won’t get back in time. I must stop worrying and trust he’ll be there or I’ll never be able to concentrate, work out how to tell him. Can’t tell, there’s no easy way. I must though. Tell him all? No, only bits. Which bits? Maybe all will be best. Beginning to end. Rely on his mercy. Gamble my life. Rock or Madam will own my life. So much anguish for so little relevance. My whole life taken by another and I’ve no control. Two gladiators battling for me, or, discarding me. Which is worse? Journal, I’m sorry, I’m so confused even my words to you make little sense.
***
Sunday 20th March
Journal, I know it’s Sunday. The day I must meet Madam, the day she’s promised to discover all. But something so important has happened that I must tell, while I can, while I wait so impatiently and, so full of dread for the limousine that will arrive at the sound of church bells. Like it always does.
I’ll start with Friday night, you remember the message I left on Rock’s answer machine. Well, Rock was there, my prayers answered.
Dinner was good, always is at the Royal Oak. Waitresses, like old friends now, flitted from table to table. Rock was affable but somehow distant and I anxiously waited for him to take control. I needed to talk but couldn’t find the words to start.
Rock fetched drinks from the bar after the meal. Didn’t like that, it felt like he’d no use for me. With a thumping heart I fiddled with my glass while Rock settled, his back to the corner as usual. His cold eyes, hard as steel.
“Rock, I’ve something to say.” I struggled for the words while Rock let his eyes do his talking.
“I don’t know where to start, how to start.” His eyes lost interest, like it’s my hole and he’s not about to help me out.
I watched him light his pipe, gently puffing, while his unemotional eyes fixed mine. Waiting, like he’d got all night.
“Help me, Rock, please.” The tears started, I couldn’t help it with so much at stake. My whole future and I couldn’t even begin to tell.
“O.K. Wait ‘till we get home. We’ve got all night.” He softened, tuned into my plight.
Made him coffee, always a good start. A chance to think after the silent car ride. Madam today, it was my only chance, I had to take it. If I didn’t, I’d lose Rock, then Madam would be invincible. Maybe she is already.
I knelt at his feet, draped over his lap, gazing through tear filled eyes. Puffs of smoke escaped and he looked so contented. I wanted him so much.
“I don’t know where to start, everything’s so confused.” Most confusing was that I didn’t know. I always know, am always in control. Somehow I must get the control back into my life. Madam has caused the confusion and only Rock can help solve it, but what if he discards me when he knows the truth?
“Beginning’s usually a reasonable place.”
The beginning. If only it were that simple. If only the beginning were so easy to find. Slowly the sobs welled in my chest and it wasn’t until Rock began gently stroking my hair that I found the courage to begin.
Once I began, journal, the words, and the tears, gushed. Stopping Niagara Falls would have been easier. My diary, its theft, the excitement I felt when Madam first phoned, the threat of blackmail. The first meetings, training, the awful penis bowl and the assignments, everything bar the gory details, while Rock sat impassive, my tears soaking his jeans, always wears jeans. Does he have any trousers, I wonder?
“What are we to do, Rock?”
“We? A bit presumptuous aren’t you? You can start with coffee.”
Stunned. I’d bared my soul, gambled I’d lose the one person I needed more than ever and all he was interested in was coffee. His damned coffee, how can anyone drink so much. He must have seen my reaction.
“Disobedience won’t help your cause.”
I scuttled off as his tone sent my tail straight between my legs. I do trust him, really I do but confidence is so hard to find right now.
“How long were you hanging by the head?”
“I don’t know, time got lost in the pain and ...and ... the excitement.”
He picked up the phone, who’s he phoning this time of night?
“George, how you doing? - Yeah, about the same time you phoned me last time. What you up to tomorrow? - Get over here for lunch then, bring your kit bag. - Got some work for you, that’s why. See you.”
“It’s two o’clock. Who were you phoning this time of night?”
“George.”
“I know that, who is he?”
“A doctor I met running aid. Bit of a loner, odd for a doctor, not a bad sort, difficult to get to know, that’s all. Struck off for abusing women patients, so the story goes. Now does private work for dodgy characters, governments, that sort of thing. Does all right out of it.”
“A sort of mercenary health worker, you mean?”
“Mercenary, yeah, that’s one way of putting it. Not sure about the health worker bit, though. Depends on your viewpoint, I suppose. Anyway, time for bed. You can sleep on your mat.”
His change of tone ensured no argument. My mat, if he didn’t want me he wouldn’t have said ‘your mat’, would he? Sleep he said - if only. Too much anguish to sleep. What’s George coming for? Lunch, Rock said, but more than that I’m sure. Bring your kit bag. Got some work for you. That’s what he said, I heard him. What does it all mean? What of Sunday? I must go to Madam, will Rock let me? What if he won’t?
Journal, curled up, naked and cold at the foot of Rock’s bed, how can life be so despondent, yet still feel so good?
Sunbeams warmed the skin, greeted sleepy eyes. Rock was downstairs reading my reports, remember, the ones he ordered about my diet and everything.
“Good morning. Rock.”
“Come on. Look sharp. Lots to do, if we’re going to get you out of this hole.”
Oh, journal, the joy in his words. I could only fling my arms round his neck, hug him, let the tears cascade again.
“I see that your toilet routine is causing a problem. It’s nine o’clock now, you’ve missed the eight o’clock slot. I think it will be helpful if you wait until one o’clock, don’t you?”
“Yes.” I didn’t and, in truth, I couldn’t see any possible help it might be. Only that another four hours seemed an impossibility. Especially as my bowels had responded to Rock’s words, as though waken from a deep sleep. “Only, I don’t think I can, honestly, no-one can do the impossible.”
“I think you can. On the floor. Get those haunches high. Splay the legs.”
When he returned, I was luridly displayed. I felt even worse without pubes and pussy gaping, my arousal plain to see.
Could only watch, cry out as the huge plug stretched my ring and compounded the problem. Black smoke rose from the candle that hovered, threatening until the first drip of hot wax seared my lips. Drip upon drip, scream upon scream until my crack was full. Tape, wide and strong held all in plac
e. Plugged and sealed. Like it or not my toilet would wait. My humiliation was as complete as my arousal intense. Release, any release, utterly impossible.
I writhed as my stomach cramped while he finished my reports, drank coffee, puffed his pipe, drank coffee. How I yearned to speak, plead how I’d learn my toilet, if only he’d allow my agony to end. Didn’t though, despite all I wanted to prove I could take all he decreed. But, I can assure you that, in future I will dispose of my waste on time, every time.
“So, who is this Madam?”
“I don’t know. I told you all I know last night. I know she’s mean and punishes every slightest mistake. Demands the highest standards, lives in a big country house, somewhere. Her power seems to spread wide.”
“How do you know that?”
“At the Tannery, there were six of us. All nationalities, walks of life. She must have control of many to be able to assemble such a varied choice. She’s tall, elegant, early fifties, exquisitely turned out. I saw her once. When on the street, she was a client, thrashed me in the back of her car. Ravaged me with .... something hard, painful, huge - delicious.” I couldn’t keep the excitement from my voice as the memory of Madam in person flooded back. Doing her will, forcing pussy’s betrayal, the star filled ecstasy. “All the other times she kept herself hidden. Behind mirrors, me blindfolded, but once, she looked so exotic, so mystical through a beautiful lace fan. She looked lovely.”
The time dragged with the agony of my filling up. Not helped, I might add, by Rock pouring cold bitter coffee down my throat when I couldn’t swallow any more. Just held my nose, tipped my head up and poured it into my mouth. Easy as you like. Coughing and spluttering made no difference, he just held my nose harder, filling my eyes with tears. ‘If you can’t do as you’re told, you’ll have to be taught,’ was all the sympathy I got. Made me wonder if Madam might be preferable. But, journal, we both know that isn’t true, don’t we?
The more I hurt, the more I watched the clock, so desperate had one o’clock become. Every move caused an increase in the cramps and made concentrating on Rock’s interrogation impossible. Rock says, ‘everything comes to those who wait.’ Well, I can’t wait any longer. Eventually though, the minute hand reached the final lap and ever so slowly crept towards the top. Only seconds left and my torture would be over.
“You may evacuate. Learn the lesson well.”
Those words were like music. At last it was over. Well, I thought it was. First, getting to the toilet created new agonies as my limbs were seized by pain. Then my sweaty hands struggled to tear the tape from my skin. Pulling and tugging I screeched my anguish as my desperate need handicapped my efforts. The tearful de-waxing and plug removal was soon forgotten, though, as the euphoric relief of draining overwhelmed. Even the doorbell seemed far distant.
Doorbell? George? I’d forgotten and there I was, slumped on display. He’d see, but so what, I couldn’t move it felt so good.
“You can clean the kitchen, while we’re gone. You’ll be dealt with when we get back. How well you do the kitchen will likely have a bearing on how we deal with you.”
He didn’t sound happy, so best do good job. In a minute, though, I felt so good, I just relaxed and let the dreams filter through the haze.
The slamming door shattered my dreams.
“She’s in here. Well, she should be anyway. FRANKIE, GET IN HERE. NOW.”
Did I jump! Never before heard him raise his voice, not even in the office when he laid into Monica and Charles, let alone bellow like he did then. I was in that room double quick, I can tell you. Stopped short when I saw George. Scandinavian? Tall, broad shoulders, baggy clothes that fitted nowhere and probably nobody. Short blonde hair, sun dried skin and mascara. Make-up?
“Meet Dr. Georgina Masterson.”
“George?” I was dumbstruck. George, a woman!
“Pleased to meet you, Frankie. I’ve been hearing a lot about you. Seems you’ve found yourself a heap of grief?”
“Certainly has. Give her the once over. See if she’s fit for tomorrow, can you?”
“Tomorrow’s her visit to this Madam character, I assume?”
“Yes. Could be a long hard day, from what I’ve heard up to now. No sense taking chances. If she’s not up to it, well, best hope she is or we’ve got a problem.”
His words lifted my heart. Rock was going to help. ‘We’ve got a problem,’ he said, I heard him. Not sure about him telling George all about it, though.
My ear burned as I was hauled into bathroom and George’s grip certainly dispelled any thoughts that she might be sympathetic to my plight.
“Bring my bag, Rock, please.”
Fingers probed before a huge syringe was inserted, and my bowels were filled with scalding, soapy water. Keeping the tears away proved impossible as I was yanked upright, tummy distended, totally humiliated by Dr. George. And, in front of Rock, who made it worse by taking only a passing interest in my plight. More hot water irrigated pussy, liked that did pussy, before I was finally permitted to evacuate. The humiliation didn’t matter, so great was the relief. The indignity of losing control in such noisy abasement just another price to pay for the life I longed for so much.
Spread wide to be prodded and probed, bright lights in my eyes, fingers in my mouth. Nothing missed.
“Teeth are a bit sharp. I’ll remove them if you intend putting your cock in there.”
“No need. Not yet anyway.”
“Surplus flesh as well, more exercise and strict diet. You’re not working her hard enough.”
“That’s O.K., gives the ropes something to bite into.”
“Up to you. Like them skinny myself.”
On it went, off hand discussion of me, like meat on a butcher’s slab. I’ve a good body. Legs could be longer, I agree, but not at all bad. I’m a person, not just a piece of flesh to be abused and discussed like I wasn’t there.
“What’s the verdict?”
“Still got some bruising around the buttocks, breasts are tender as well. Must have been a good thrashing the last one. Capable of taking another.”
“Good, don’t want her giving in too easily.”
“Do you think she’s in for a thrashing?”
“That’s my guess. Seems that’s the extent of Madam’s imagination. Typical woman, totally illogical, but when it comes to lateral thinking, well, what can you say?”
“I’ll take that as the joke it was meant as. One day you’ll regret your ideas, Rock Hudson. I just hope I’m the one to make you pay.”
“Hummph.”
Banter continued, Rock and George were obviously good friends. How good? Lateral ideas, what’s he in mind? Sitting on pins again? New things for pussy to delight in? Hope so.
I cleaned the kitchen while Rock and George talked. Mainly reminiscing but occasionally I heard my name. By the time Rock called me, the kitchen was spotless, everything in its place, so keen was I to make amends.
“You’ve caused a deal of headache and George has given up her spare time on your behalf and George rarely does anything for nothing. She’s also bone idle and patience isn’t her strong point, either. It may be a good idea to undress her before she gets annoyed.”
It wasn’t the best idea I’d ever heard but then it wasn’t intended that my opinion would count for anything. Rock rarely issues direct orders, prefers to just put ideas into my head. Ideas we both know are more than just thoughts.
Slowly, clumsily I removed her clothes. Idle’s not the word, she did absolutely nothing to help. Might as well been undressing a dummy, can you imagine just how awkward that is? Lifting arms and legs while tugging and pulling the heavy shapeless battle dress her macho illusion demanded. She’s tall too, which only made it even harder, making me reach, stretch my breasts, give Rock a good show.
A lean, fit body perfectly toned
, tanned all over. Chestnut pubes, longer than I could scarcely believe, contrasted her tousled blonde hair. Obviously not too friendly with Rock, he’d soon have those off, journal.
I stroked her shoulders, arms and tummy as my tongue tickled her neck and ears while I stretched onto my toes, rubbing my nipples on her hard muscled torso. Gentle ripples of pleasure followed the progress of my attentions. Trembling thighs, the scent of sex, the moans that accompanied the increasingly heavy breathing all combined to provoke my own arousal. It was with eagerness and joy that I slipped to my knees, my tongue tasting her salty sweat as it tantalised her firm, flat midriff.
Nibbled her clit, let my tongue linger tasting the sweetness of her lips while my eager fingers caressed and roamed her hillocks, tiny with hard delightful nipples that pressed hard against my touch. I clutched and squeezed her tight buttocks to guide her pussy against my chin. She wailed with delight as my finger found and wormed into her rectum, controlled her writhing until my tongue darted with venom and squirmed against the orgasm ripping typhoon-like through her.
I knew I’d done well, didn’t need Rock’s smug look to tell. His turn now, time to show I can use initiative as I stripped him and marvelled at his naked torso. Too turned on to resist my fingers and tongue. I was in control, oh yes, it felt so good. Rock at last defeated by his own arousal caused, journal, by me. I was so proud as my tongue and Madam’s exercises combined to steal Rock and force him to pump his glorious seed, to fill my mouth. Ambrosia I would not be denied.
I conquered them both, denied them choice. My skill made their bodies mine and euphoria took over, pussy defeated me and with pride I gave them a show. Felt their eyes as my frantic fingers turned the tremors to quakes as the waves of pleasure began to stampede throughout my very being.
“She performs well. You want to hang on to this one, Rock.”
“Not really. She knows that her pleasure’s forbidden without permission.”