“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I was a virgin, but I knew what I was doing.”
His hand brushed her shoulder. “I don’t mean that first time.”
Her nerves were rippling. “I know that. It’s just easier to think that you did.”
“Are you ever going to forgive me?”
“For what?”
“For Melissa? For not being there when you were pregnant with Tyler? When he was born? A, B or C? All of the above? Take your pick. Volume discount.”
She swallowed hard and looked at him. “Are you going to forgive me?”
His jaw canted to one side. “For what?” His voice was gruff. “Having my son?”
The sound of an engine grew louder, and a truck drove by, followed almost immediately by another that passed them with a short blow of its horn.
Kelly shifted in her seat, and Caleb’s hand fell away.
He put the truck in gear, turning around in front of the barn and driving away.
She watched the barn grow smaller through the side-view mirror until he turned onto the highway and she lost sight of the Perry property completely.
They drove the rest of the way to the farm in silence, and it was nearly dark when he pulled up in front of the house. “Are you going to be okay here by yourself for the night?”
If she said she wasn’t, he’d offer to stay.
And in her current mood, that would be a capital B-A-D idea. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll stay if—”
“I know.” She pushed open the truck door. “But I’m not ready to sleep with you again, and I’m afraid that’s what will happen if you do. Things are complicated enough without that.”
“Maybe that would uncomplicate things.” He lifted his palm when she gave him a look. “Just a thought.”
Despite herself, she let out half a laugh. “Good night, Caleb.”
“Good night, Kelly.”
He didn’t drive away until she went inside the house.
She closed her eyes and leaned back against the door, the weight of his ring still heavy and unfamiliar on her finger.
The weight inside her chest, though? That was something infinitely familiar.
It was the feeling of still loving the one and only man she’d ever loved.
The one who would never be marrying her if not for their son.
* * *
The next morning, Kelly phoned Leandra and arranged to meet her and Tyler at the elementary school in Weaver. There was no point in the other woman making the drive out to the farm when Kelly needed to register Tyler for school anyway.
Once that was done and Tyler—wearing a clean outfit borrowed from Lucas that was only a hair too small—was settled excitedly in his new kindergarten class, she went over to the hospital and started the paperwork necessary to apply there before stopping in to see Maria and her baby.
They were both going home that day. To a life that was entirely different than Maria had planned.
The visit put things in perspective. Kelly’s and Tyler’s lives had taken a turn she hadn’t planned for, but they were healthy. They were alive.
When Kelly was done, she sat in the hospital parking lot, where her phone signal seemed strongest, and called her boss in Idaho. He was shocked at the suddenness of her resignation. And gracious enough to tell her she’d always have a place there if she changed her mind.
Which just left her feeling weepy. Too weepy to contact her landlord, too, and start that ball rolling. Instead, she drove out of the hospital lot only to pull in a few minutes later at the sheriff’s office, where Pam worked.
She’d thought to update her on everything, but she was too late. Pam already knew. About Tyler. About Caleb. Even about the glittering, unfamiliar stone on Kelly’s finger. Pam also promised to be available on Thanksgiving. It was only right for her and Rob to represent the Rasmussen name at Kelly and Caleb’s wedding, she said.
After that, with time still on her hands, Kelly drove out to Shop-World for a few groceries, stopped in at the Realtor’s office to talk about getting the farm listed and met Izzy at Lucy’s dance studio in town, because that was the most convenient place where they could get together to start on the dress.
Kelly held Izzy’s sweet six-month-old baby, Tori, while her mama measured and sketched, and by the time Kelly left to pick up Tyler from school again, the other woman had created a vision that even Kelly—despite her misgivings about the entire wedding business—could love.
She figured Caleb would show up at the farm sooner or later that evening. And he did, though he spent most of the time sitting with Tyler as he shared every detail of his new kindergarten class. Then, when she was in the middle of preparing Tyler’s bath, Caleb got an emergency call, and he left again.
She expected that it was an example of the evenings to come. And she was right.
The only thing that varied was the food she cooked for dinner and whether or not Caleb got a call from some patient’s parent who had his number on speed dial or a text from the hospital because he was on night call all that week.
Just as she’d known he would, Tyler reveled in the attention he got from Caleb. He was in seventh heaven.
By the night before the auction, though, Kelly’s nerves were tighter than the overwound clock on her mama’s fireplace mantel. “This thing is never gonna work again,” she muttered to Caleb when he came downstairs after reading Tyler a bedtime story. She was polishing the wooden case. “It’s not going to bring a dime at the auction tomorrow. I don’t know why I’m bothering to polish it.” It was just on the list of desirable items from the auction house. Same as the quilts. And a dozen other things that Kelly couldn’t imagine bringing much money.
“I think you should go to Idaho.”
She whirled, knocking the clock onto the floor. The solid thing didn’t even have the common decency to break apart into pieces. It simply left behind a tiny dent on the wooden floor. Caleb bent down to pick it up.
“I knew you’d change your mind.”
“About what?” He set the clock back on the mantel.
Her pulse pounded in her ears. “Marrying me.”
“What?”
He was standing too close to her. She could actually feel the warmth radiating from him. “I’m glad I still haven’t given notice on my apartment.” She brushed past him to find some breathing space. “Bad enough I quit my job. Dr. Maguire’s going to think I’m nuts when I tell him I changed my mind after all. If you think I’m going to leave Tyler here, though, you’ve got—”
Caleb covered her mouth with his hand. “Be quiet.”
“—another think coming,” she finished against his palm.
“I didn’t mean you should go back to Idaho to stay. I meant for a few days. Dammit, Kelly.” He turned away from her, shoving his fingers through his hair. “Are you always going to think the worst? Is that what’s been bugging you all damn week? Here I figured it was the auction tomorrow, but it’s really just been you waiting for some shoe to drop? For some new thing to use as a wedge between us?”
“I don’t need a new wedge.”
“No.” His lips twisted slightly. “You’ve got the past to hold on to.”
“I’m trying! You think this is easy?”
He shook his head. “Kelly, if we’re to have a hope in hell of making this work, we’ve got to find a way to start fresh. Let go of the past.”
“If it weren’t for our past, we wouldn’t even be here.” She folded her arms tightly. “We wouldn’t be getting married if not for Tyler. You’d never have proposed to me. I was the girl good enough to sleep with but not good enough to marry.”
He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. “I swear to God, it’s this house,” he muttered and dropped his hands again. “
That’s your mother talking.” His voice was flat. “And it’s one more reason why you need to get out of this place. Take a break. Go to Idaho. Move out of your apartment! Or didn’t you mean it when you agreed to marry me?”
She blinked hard, feeling the pain in her forehead pinch tighter than ever.
“Tom Hook can handle the auction tomorrow. When you come back in a few days—” he swept his arm out, encompassing the room around them “—all this could be—should be—gone. I’ll put an offer in on the Johansson place. It’s not a total new build—we could maybe be in before winter’s over. And you liked it well enough when we drove by last week after we got your ring. Until then, you’ll move in with me.”
“Your one-bedroom apartment?”
“We’ll rent something bigger. A bigger apartment. Bigger house. Whatever. But this place here?” He pointed at the floor beneath them. “I want us done with this place. You need to be done with this place. You are going to be my wife. My. Real. Wife. We are going to be a family. Stop hunting for signs that I’m changing my mind, because there are none!”
Her knees were shaking. “What do you mean, real wife?”
He looked exasperated. “What do you think I mean? In less than two weeks, we’ll be married.”
“You want to sleep with me?”
“Why do you sound surprised? Of course I want you in my bed!”
He shoved back his hair that had fallen over his forehead in the same way Tyler’s always did. “You’re a beautiful woman, Kelly. You’re smart. You love that kid sleeping upstairs in a way that hits me in here—” he thumped his chest “—but I swear you’re missing a screw if you honestly think we could be married on paper only. The only thing that’s kept me from touching you this week has been you jumping a foot every time I come in the room.”
Her stomach swooped, and her mouth felt suddenly dry. “I haven’t been jumping a foot,” she denied, even though he was more right than wrong. “But, say you, uh, you’re right. Sex doesn’t make a marriage real.”
“It doesn’t make it fake, honey.”
“So sayeth the marriage expert. How many times have you made it down the aisle? Love makes a marriage real. Sex is not the root. Sex is the by-product!”
His eyes drilled into hers. “You think I don’t love you?”
She laughed harshly. Which only seemed to prove he was right about the house, because even to her own ears, she sounded horribly like her mother. “I know you don’t.”
“And if I said you’re wrong?”
“I wouldn’t believe you.” She couldn’t let herself believe him. Because when it proved to be false, she wasn’t sure she could survive.
“Why?”
Her mouth was dry. “We wouldn’t be getting married if you did.”
He waited a beat. “That’s the most convoluted thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
“We wouldn’t be getting married like this,” she amended. “It wouldn’t be about Tyler. It would be...it would be about us.”
“It is about us. It’s about us being a family. Before I even knew about Tyler, I told you I didn’t want the past stopping us from having a future. Remember that?”
How could she forget anything about that night? It hadn’t even been a week ago, though it felt so much longer. “I remember. I also remember you never once mentioned marriage until after I told you about him.”
“So I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Is that what we’re down to?” Then Caleb swore and yanked his phone out of his pocket. He read the display and swore again. “I have to go. Tabby’s in labor.”
“Is she all right?”
“Baby’s in fetal distress.”
Kelly’s knees went watery. But then she shook herself. Tabby and Justin were his dearest friends. She didn’t need to add worry with her own distress. “Go.” She snatched up his jacket and keys from where he’d left them and pushed them into his hands, following him to the front door. “Let me know more when you can.”
He nodded. “It could be late.”
“It doesn’t matter how late.” She opened the door for him. “Don’t speed on the curves. They’re going to need you there in one piece.”
“Kelly—”
“Caleb, go do what you need to do.”
His mouth covered hers in a hot, hard kiss that left her breathless. “I needed to do that, too.”
Then he yanked on his jacket and strode out the door.
Chapter Fourteen
He didn’t have a chance to call Kelly until the middle of the night. “Were you sleeping?”
“No. What’s happening? How’s Tabby?”
“C-section. She wanted a natural delivery, but it just wasn’t going to happen. She’s okay. Baby’s doing better.”
“Thank goodness.” Her relief was palpable through the phone.
He leaned against the wall outside Tabby’s hospital room. “Everyone’s finally gone home except for Justin. It was a zoo here for a while.” He could see his cousin through the door, sprawled on the chair beside Tabby’s bed. Too wired to sleep, too drained not to.
“I can imagine. You’re still at the hospital, then? You must be exhausted.”
“I’ll find an empty bed here somewhere. I don’t want to get too far away just yet. The baby’s stable, but—”
“You don’t have to explain. Boy or girl?”
“A girl.” He smiled slightly. “Justin’s in for a ride, that’s for sure.” Silence, weighted by everything still unresolved between them, hung on the phone line for a moment.
“I’m not going to go to Idaho,” she finally said abruptly. “But you’re right about the auction. Not being here when it happens, I mean. I thought I’d take Tyler to Braden for the day. We can have lunch and there’s a new movie out for the holidays and—”
“Sounds like a good idea.” And even though it bugged the hell out of him that she was hanging on to her apartment, he couldn’t say he actually wanted her to go there. What if she did and decided not to return? “Just pack up your stuff and go to my place when you get back. If I’m not there, I’ll leave word with the manager to let you in.”
She hesitated so long he braced for another argument.
“Okay,” she finally said. “What do I do with Bingo for the day?”
Relief poured through him. “I’ll call my sister in the morning.” He glanced at the wall clock nearby. Which it technically already was, but—being the superior brother that he was—he’d wait until daylight. “She can dog-sit for a day in exchange for all the kid-sitting I’ve done for her.” His phone pinged, and he glanced at the display. “The hospital is texting me. And I’m standing here in the hospital.”
“Not Tabby’s baby, I hope.”
“Fortunately, no.” He pushed away from the wall. “I’ll see you tomorrow when you get back. Be careful on the drive.”
“I will. Caleb?”
He put the phone he’d been ready to hang up back to his ear. “Yeah.”
“I don’t want to make another mistake.” Her voice was soft.
“I don’t, either, honey. I don’t, either.”
Then he pocketed his phone and made his way to the emergency room to deal with the next crisis.
* * *
Kelly smiled at the sight of Tyler throwing one of the red balls for the dog in Caleb’s yard and waved through the window when he looked her way. Then she tucked her cell phone against her shoulder, listening while the auction house representative droned on about the results of the sale.
“Your mother’s rings weren’t particularly valuable, which we knew. The jewelry box was more so. The armoire in the master bedroom garnered quite a lot of interest, and of course the quilts, the farm equipment, the tools. We left the closing statement with Mr. Hook, as well. It takes a few
weeks for the funds to settle, and they’ll be deposited into your mother’s estate account. I think you’ll be quite pleased with the results,” he said before finally ringing off.
She set the phone down and went back outside. She sat down on the porch step and pulled her sweater more closely around her. It was almost the middle of November, and the way the air felt, she wouldn’t be surprised if snow was on its way again. “Tyler, are you warm enough?” There was little likelihood that he wasn’t, considering the way he and Bingo were chasing each other around the yard.
“I’m fine, Mom.” He snatched up the ball and threw it again, but it went right over the fence.
He looked so dismayed that she couldn’t help laughing. “It’s okay, buddy. I’ll get it. Stay in the yard here, okay?”
He nodded and plopped on his knees to roll around with the dog.
She wished she had half his energy.
There was no gate on the fence. Going around it meant going out the front door and outside. And then it meant crawling under the bushes on the side of the fence to reach the darn ball. She finally managed to grab it and backed out, pushing to her feet. She brushed at the leaves sticking to her and turned to go back into the apartment only to find Caleb standing on the sidewalk.
She blushed. “I didn’t know you were here.”
He was smiling faintly. “Find anything interesting in the bushes?”
She held up the red ball. “Boys and toys. I’ve done a lot of chasing after them both in five years.” She nodded toward the large paper-wrapped parcel Caleb was carrying. “What’s that?”
“It’s for you.”
“What is it?”
The corner of his lip kicked up a little more. “Open it and see.”
Her stomach squiggled around a little. “We never used to give each other gifts.” A daisy from him here. A home-baked pie from her there. Nothing expensive in those days, simply because he’d always known she’d had no money.
“Consider it a new day then.” He took the ball out of her hand, tossed it back over the fence and held out the bundle. “Well. Sort of.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
A Child Under His Tree Page 17