He waited for his brother’s reaction. When he said nothing, Darwin plowed ahead.
“Long story short. I went there each week to look at him. He was sexy, but a bit dry. Then a couple weeks ago, he was gone and I had a new waiter. He made me laugh. He…” Darwin stopped. He wasn’t sure how to talk to Kent about this.
“Made you feel something you haven’t in a long time?”
Darwin nodded.
Kent gripped Darwin’s shoulder. “That’s a good thing. I know you miss Dean, but he wouldn’t have wanted you to lock yourself away. He would want you to get out and meet someone, and I think you know it.”
Darwin did. He and Dean had talked about it when they’d found out he didn’t have much time left. He’d insisted Darwin do his best to find a new love. But Darwin couldn’t bring himself to do it. Every look in Roy’s direction felt like a dishonor to Dean’s memory. But then Ricky appeared and tore through every defense Darwin had built around his heart. He had no idea how. They’d only seen each other two times, but it had been enough that Darwin wanted to know more.
“So about Asiago?” Kent prompted, pulling Darwin from his thoughts.
“I met someone. His name is Ricky,” Darwin said on a sigh.
Chapter Five
After he and Kent had let the board members back into the meeting room and told them there would be an infusion of cash, Kent had stayed to catch up a little more. They’d gone to Darwin’s office and talked, Kent being every bit the big brother. Darwin wouldn’t deny how good their new tentative bond felt.
“It’s never easy, is it?” Kent asked, sitting on the plush black couch in the middle of Darwin’s office. Darwin cracked a new bottle of Macallan M from the cabinet above the small wooden bar he kept for when clients came to talk business. He poured them each a shot to celebrate the saving of Kent’s company, as well as the two of them working to iron out their problems.
“What’s that?” Darwin asked.
“This,” he replied, waving his hand around the large office suite. “You come in here every day, work your butt off, and then at night, Henley takes you home so you can start all over again. That can’t be what you want out of life, is it?”
Darwin’s throat closed up, so he simply shook his head.
“Being alone for so long isn’t healthy. I know you’ve got people around you, but it isn’t the same. They’re family, and I’m starting to understand that, but do you feel comfortable talking to them about personal matters like this?”
“No,” Darwin whispered, his voice harsh. He placed his rocks glass on the marble side table beside his seat. He glanced over at his brother, expecting to find pity. Instead, he saw understanding.
“I know we’re just starting to mend the fences, but if you ever need to talk to someone, you can call me. If you don’t want to talk to me, Mila would be more than happy to hear from you.”
His eyes burned, and Darwin knew tears wouldn’t be far behind. He hadn’t cried for years over Dean’s loss, and the memories had faded a bit with time, but now he could picture him, clear as anything. His smile, which always warmed Darwin’s heart. His eyes, which twinkled with mischief. And his arms, which had given Darwin comfort, even when they’d known their time together would soon run out.
“I’m afraid,” Darwin admitted.
Kent slid closer to where Darwin sat. He reached out and put a hand atop Darwin’s. The warmth chased away the chill that the liquor couldn’t touch.
“I get that. It’s scary putting yourself out there again. What if he doesn’t like you? What if it doesn’t work out? But stop asking that. Think about what happens if it does. You’ve got to take the chance, because if you don’t, you’re only going to have a life filled with more regrets. And those are a worse hurt than if things go wrong, believe me.”
Darwin straightened in his chair. He stopped thinking about himself for a minute and gazed at his brother. He could see the sadness in his eyes, and Darwin recognized it for what it was. He’d seen that look many times when he’d stared at his own reflection. Kent now lived with the regret of their parents’ final years. The attitude he’d developed, which caused a schism to form in the family.
“Mom and Dad loved you, you know.”
Kent gave a half shrug. “I gave them enough reasons not to. In my mind, I had money, I had friends, and we could party from sunup to sundown. But that life got old after a while. The thrills didn’t come as easily. People wanted more from me. To buy them things, take them places. Before I realized it, I had lost myself and didn’t really care if I came back from it. I disappointed our parents and you. And it seemed easier to just let it go than try to fight to get it back.”
He had never seen Kent in that light. To Darwin, he’d always been a scrapper, fighting for what he believed he’d been due. Saying he’d given up hurt Darwin’s heart, because in all honesty, that was what he’d done after Dean died. Maybe he and his brother weren’t so dissimilar after all.
“When Mom and Dad told me they were going to make me head of the company, I protested. I told them it should be you, not me. They each gave me a sad smile and told me that you were on a journey right now, and that until you decided it was finished, it might be some time before you came back.”
“They were right. I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t met Mila. She gave me so much shit when we got together, because she knew I had potential. And even then I misused that.”
“Meh. She got you whipped into shape,” Darwin replied, grinning.
“She did at that. Which brings us back to the subject at hand. You like this guy, right?”
Darwin nodded. Logically, he knew it made no sense, but he truly did like Ricky. He had an air about him that had Darwin aching to know more. The kiss they shared had thrown open doors Darwin thought he’d closed off long ago. Heat surged to Darwin’s cheeks as his thoughts took an erotic turn. He glanced at Kent, hoping his embarrassment wasn’t obvious. Kent let go of Darwin’s hand and stood.
“Then find out where it’s going to go. Don’t hold back. Even if it doesn’t work out with Ricky, it might work out with the next man, or the next. There has to be more to your life than work.” Kent gave Darwin a strange look, and then he laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I just realized. You are all about work. I was all about finding ways to not work. Now I’m the one who is trying to take the job more seriously, while you’re trying to find a way to finally think about yourself. We’re a fine pair.”
Darwin sat in the back of the limo later that afternoon, fiddling with his phone. Heather had blocked the whole day for the meeting with Kent, and as soon as his brother had left, Darwin told Heather he would take the remainder of the afternoon off. He reminded her he would be reachable by phone if she needed him. She’d seemed surprised, but then smiled at him. He hadn’t left work early in years, but after the emotional roller coaster he’d been on lately, he decided he’d earned a break. The weather seemed lovely, and he hadn’t gotten out much, so he asked Henley to drive him through the park to look at the beautiful flower displays.
As they drove he scrolled through the contacts until he got to Ricky’s number. They hadn’t spoken in a week, and Darwin wanted to use the excuse he’d been busy, but in truth, he feared Ricky would change his mind.
The window that separated the driver from the back of the car rolled down, startling Darwin. He hated when Henley had it up, because it made him feel isolated.
“Are you going to use the phone, or are you content playing with it?”
Darwin pulled a face. “Are you actually talking about the phone, or is this one of your famous euphemisms?”
Henley chuckled. “I can see it working either way, so use whichever you’re most comfortable with.”
“So what do you think? Kent says I should call Ricky, but I’m nervous.”
An expression Darwin couldn’t recall ever seeing before passed over Henley’s face, but just as quickly, it vanished. “I think you should cal
l him. Get to know the man. Find out if there is anything between the two of you. From what I saw, he’s a nice guy, and you need a little nice in your life.”
Darwin fiddled with the phone once more before he drew in a deep breath and pushed connect. After four rings, it went to voice mail.
“Hi, Ricky. It’s me. Um, I mean, it’s Darwin. I was calling to see how you were doing. Talk to you later.”
He hung up and dropped his head back against the seat. He could see Henley grinning at him in the rearview mirror.
“Man, you are so out of practice,” his friend teased.
“No kidding,” Darwin agreed. He slipped the phone into his pocket and tried to pretend the wait wouldn’t kill him.
***
Ricky walked out of another restaurant where he’d finished applying. He groaned as the heat once again washed over him. If one thing bugged Ricky, heat would be it, and the weather report had said it would be warmer than normal from today—Monday—through Friday. He sweated easily, and the fact he’d worn the only suit he owned didn’t help. He’d done it just in case he got asked to stay for an interview. But that hadn’t happened. Again.
He’d left applications at twelve restaurants in the last week and none of them had called him back. After he turned his phone back on, he pulled up his online bank statement and grimaced. He’d have enough money for this month, but once he paid the bills, his student loans, and rent, there wouldn’t be much there for those pesky incidentals, like food. He had to find a job and soon.
He had just put his phone away when he heard the tone that indicated a voice message. He slipped it out of his pocket and saw he had missed a call from Darwin. His heart leapt just a little bit. He had waited to see if the man would call, but wasn’t sure what proper protocol was after their not-quite-a-date. Call and invite Darwin out? Wait to see if Darwin called him? He groaned. It was like high school all over again. Maybe it would be easier to write a note with ‘Do you like me?’ and checkboxes for yes or no.
He listened to the message, smiled, and put the phone away. He wiped the sweat from his brow, sighed as he looked up, hoping to see a few rainclouds that might bring some much needed relief from the heat. Of course, not a cloud in the sky. The sun beat down, heating everything to well past the ninety degrees his phone claimed it was. He started the long twelve-block walk to his apartment. After the first two blocks, he had to peel off the suit coat and long-sleeve shirt he’d worn in hopes of getting an interview. His T-shirt dripped with sweat and he thought about taking that off, too, but he figured he’d wait until he got home and strip off in the privacy of his room. At least then he could sit in front of the tiny air conditioner in the bedroom, where he would then pretend it wasn’t really that hot.
Stepping into his place, he caught sight of Merlin sprawled out on Ricky’s favorite chair, on his back, legs spread in the near sweltering heat. He scooped the kitten into his arms, then strode off to the bedroom where he closed the door, then cranked the small AC unit he’d found in a thrift store as high as he could. He put Merlin on the bed, then grinned as the cat jumped on the machine and stretched across the vent.
“Sorry, buddy. I know it’s hot. It’s supposed to cool off next week. I know that doesn’t help now, though. When I go out tomorrow, I’ll leave the air on so you can try to stay comfortable.” Ricky groaned at the thought of his electric bill, but he refused to leave Merlin in an apartment that would probably be a few degrees warmer than outside.
Stripping off his clothes, Ricky trudged to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He stepped beneath the cool jets of water, grateful for even that little bit of relief. After toweling off, he joined Merlin in the bedroom, stretched out naked on the bed, and sighed. The little AC unit didn’t put out much cool air, but almost anything was better than being outside. At least coming home had been a welcome relief.
He rolled to his side and reached into the pocket of his discarded pants to pull out his phone. He listened to Darwin’s message again, chuckling at how nervous he sounded.
“What do you think, Mer? Should I call him back or make him sweat it out?”
The cat gave a soft meow.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.”
He dialed the number, then gave a soft whimper when it went to voice mail.
“Hey, it’s Ricky. I see we’re playing phone tag, so I guess this means you’re it. Talk to you later.”
He hung up, put the phone on the nightstand, and closed his eyes, wishing he and Merlin could be in Alaska right now.
***
As the car pulled out of the tunnel, Darwin’s phone beeped. He dropped it once before he could get a good grip on it. When he saw Ricky’s name, heat rushed through him.
“Damn,” Darwin cursed. “I missed his call!”
“Okay, so you call him back. It’s not a big deal, Dare. Why are you so nervous about this?”
“It’s been a few years,” he snapped. “I’m out of practice.”
“And right now, you’re acting like a teenager instead of an adult. Suck it up, buttercup. Call him back.”
Darwin wanted to protest, but he couldn’t deny it. He felt like a teen—gawky, unsure, and more than a little nervous. He sucked in a quick breath to steady himself, then called Ricky back.
“’Lo?’
He could hear the hum of a machine in the background, and Ricky sounded like he’d been sleeping. “Hey, it’s Darwin.”
“Hey,” Ricky replied, now seemingly more alert. “How you doing?”
“Did I wake you?”
“Nah, not really.” Ricky yawned, and Darwin stifled a giggle at how cute the noise sounded. “Just dozing in the air conditioning. It’s hotter than hell outside today.”
Darwin leaned forward to peek at the digital readout on the dash and winced. Ninety-four degrees.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just warm. So what’s going on?”
“Not much. I figured I should call you to see what you were up to.”
Ricky sighed. “Well, let’s see. I haven’t found a job yet. Applied at a bunch of places, but no one has called me back. Beyond that, I’ve been pretty much a homebody. I can’t afford to go out, so I’m sitting at home and playing with Merlin.”
“Merlin?”
“He’s my kitten. I found him on my way home one night about three months ago. No clue where he came from. He just, poof, appeared on the sidewalk.”
Darwin bit his tongue. He didn’t want to make Ricky uncomfortable, but damn it, he didn’t want him to be out on the street either.
“Is there anything I can do for you? I mean if you need money or something…”
He heard Ricky suck in a breath, before he gave his frosty answer. “No, we’re fine.”
“Sorry. I just… If you need help, I hope you’ll let me know.”
“Thanks,” Ricky said quietly. “We’re really okay, though. But it’s nice that you asked.”
“So, listen. I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight. With me, I mean. We can go to dinner or something.”
“Thanks, but I have to say no,” Ricky replied, his voice tight. “I really don’t have any money to spare right now.”
“My treat. You bought me drinks at the club, so it’s my turn to take you out.”
“Yeah?”
Relief flooded Darwin. Ricky hadn’t simply said no. “Absolutely.”
Darwin could hear the smile in Ricky’s voice when he replied, “Okay, sure. I’d like that.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven?” Darwin asked, tamping down hard on the urge to yell he’d gotten a date.
“Sounds good.”
Ricky rattled off his address, which Darwin wrote on his notepad.
“See you tonight,” he whispered, even though Ricky had already disconnected.
“Darwin’s got a date,” Henley teased. “Do we need to swing by the pharmacy to get you some protection? Wait. Do you even remember how to use it? We might have to pick up some bananas,
so I can show you the proper way to put on a condom.”
“You know how sometimes you say things and they’re absolutely hilarious?” Darwin asked, meeting Henley’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “This isn’t one of them.”
“Ouch. Cut down in my prime,” Henley complained, clutching his heart dramatically with one hand. Then he laughed. “I assume you want to go home now, so you can get ready. Where are we picking him up?”
Panic surged through Darwin. He hadn’t even considered that Henley would expect to drive them.
“Didn’t you have plans for tonight?”
“Meh. I thought about binge watching something on Netflix, but if you want to go out, I’d rather do that.”
Darwin gave a nervous chuckle. “You go ahead and kill some brain cells. We can take a taxi. I’m not sure how late we’ll be out, and there’s no sense in you waiting up for me.”
Henley shrugged. “I don’t mind. I don’t get out much, so this gives me a chance to stretch my legs. While you guys eat, I can take a walk around the block or something.”
He didn’t want Henley coming along. He wanted it to be him and Ricky. He wanted to be together, just the two of them. Ricky had kissed him, so he must like him. But would that change if he found out Darwin wasn’t the man he thought? What did his parents used to say? Money changes everything.
“No, it’s okay. The cab is fine. Besides, Maria is making stuffed cabbage rolls tonight, and I know how you get if you miss them.”
Henley’s eyes went wide. “Really? Hell, yeah. You take a cab. Since you’re going out, can I have yours, too?”
A laugh bubbled out of Darwin, equal parts relief and amusement.
“Want me to call her and have her make a double batch?”
“Since you’re the only one she’ll listen to, yes, please. And if she wants to make some buns to go with it, I’d be down for that.”
Darwin threw out a prayer of thanks to the universe then turned his attention to the matter at hand. Where could he take Ricky that would be nice but not ostentatious?
Of Love and Corn Dogs Page 6