Henley took a deep breath. “See? Right there. That shows that you don’t know Dare at all. You didn’t even give him a chance. That mansion, as you call it, has most of the wings closed off. Darwin didn’t want the place, but he also didn’t want to give up his family home. He tried to get his brother to take it, but he’s not interested. The staff? There’s seven of us, if you include Maria’s kids. A cook who feeds us, a butler who spends his days pottering around in the garden, a driver whose only duty is to take Darwin to and from work. The rest of the time he drives Maria to the store so she can do the shopping. There’s also a laundress who’s probably seventy, and she only takes care of two rooms. She washes the clothes, but Darwin folds his own, and every morning, he makes his bed. We have a household manager who pays the bills and our wages. Everyone but the manager lives on the estate.
Henley dropped back onto the chair, Merlin assuming his original spot. “Those of us who work there do so because we love Darwin. All of them worked for his parents, helped to raise him to be the man he is. When they died, we stayed with him. When he inherited the estate, he tried to cut back, because he didn’t want to be that guy. The showy, flashy guy. But the thing of it is? He never was.
“When his first love died, he shut himself off. He closed off almost all of the rooms, helped the staff find new jobs, but we few who still work there wouldn’t leave him. Eventually we got him to listen to reason, but he wouldn’t hire anyone else.
“So don’t think you know the man, because all you’re seeing is the money.”
Ricky cocked his head. He could hear the truth in Henley’s voice, but something else lay beneath the surface. “You’re in love with him.”
Henley averted his gaze. “That’s ridiculous. He’s my best friend.”
“Who you happen to be in love with. Trust me, I’ve read enough romance novels. I know the signs.” Ricky leaned against the table. “Have you told him?”
Henley opened his mouth, sure to protest, then closed it. He shook his head. “He doesn’t feel that way about me. He was my first kiss, and I had it bad for him for years after. When he met Dean, I admit I got jealous. But the two of them fit, and Darwin…you could see how much love there was between them. I knew nothing would ever come of it. I moved on, but there’s always that little part of me that wonders what-if.”
“So why not step in now?” Ricky asked. “Tell him how you feel. See where it can go. It’s not like you don’t already know all the things I didn’t.”
“Because I do love him, but not in the way you think. He’s my very best friend, and it upsets me to see him sad and hurting. For the longest time, it seemed like he’d never snap out of it. I want him to be happy, and you are the only person I know who has done that recently. He’s been different since he met you. He has his spark back. He looks forward to each day, because he knows that he gets to see or talk to you.
“I admit, when he met you, I figured you’d break him again and we’d be left to pick up the pieces. I thought maybe he was making a mistake, and I wanted to tell him to go slow, because the thought of him retreating into his shell again worried me. You didn’t though. You made him smile. Don’t take that away from him now because you’re afraid.”
“I don’t know…” Ricky hedged as he settled onto the small sofa.
Henley chuckled. “Believe me. You’re not the only one who’s read romance novels. If you could have seen him two years ago. Hell, six months ago. He sat at that restaurant and mooned over a guy who wouldn’t give him the time of day. Then he met this other guy, who told him about corn dogs and opened his eyes to things he’s missed out on.
“Don’t get me wrong. What he had with Dean? That couldn’t have been more real. But they were from the same world. Dean had money. Darwin had his own. But they lived in their own bubble, where it didn’t matter. The only thing that made it worthwhile was each other. When Dean got sick, Darwin started to fall apart. When they got the report from the doctor telling Dean his cancer was terminal, they walled themselves off and filled their lives with as much love as they could.”
Merlin jumped off Henley’s lap, then pounced onto Ricky’s. He started stroking the cat, the familiar purr helping to soothe his nerves.
“The night Dean died, Darwin had been at a meeting. Dean knew he wouldn’t make it through the night, and he didn’t want Darwin to see that, so he forced him to go to the meeting. When Darwin got home, they were putting Dean in an ambulance. He didn’t even get to say good-bye, because Dean didn’t want the last thing Darwin saw to be the man he loved die.”
The tears burned a streak down Ricky’s cheeks. “I can’t be Dean for him.”
“No one wants you to,” Henley insisted. “Darwin doesn’t want another Dean. He wants you. Let me ask you something. Do you love him?”
Ricky wanted to act indignant. To tell Henley to mind his own business. Instead, he nodded.
“Tonight after he left the restaurant, he stormed away. Told me he would walk back to the office. Even on the night that Dean died, Darwin clung to us for some stability. Right now, though? He’s not really all that stable. His brother called me. Darwin wants him to take over the company, because he thinks that if he gives everything away, you’ll want to be with him.”
“What?” Ricky shouted. “That’s crazy.”
“Is it? You can’t handle him having money, so he’s trying to make sure he doesn’t have any. It’s stupid in my opinion, but in his mind, it’s about love. Darwin built Kincade. His parents started the company, but Darwin made it what it is. And he’s willing to give that up, to throw it all away, to have a chance with you. Now, tell me that’s not worthy of any romance novel you’ve ever read.”
“But…I’m not the guy for him. He’s met the president. He could never take me to functions; it would be too embarrassing.”
“For you or for him?”
Ricky tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
“What is it that really bothers you about Darwin having money?” Henley leaned forward in the chair, putting his elbows on his knees. “Do you think he’ll expect you to change? To become some polished clone of him? He doesn’t want that. He wants you.”
“I’m just a waiter, but I enjoy it. I don’t want to give it up.”
Henley stood, walked over to Ricky and put a hand on his shoulder. “Why would you have to?”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Why would you have to give up something you enjoy? Has he told you he wants you to stay at home? Or that your job would embarrass him?”
Ricky thought for a moment. “No.”
“Darwin doesn’t believe in changing who you are. He may have the means to give you anything you want, but he knows he can’t give you happiness. Only you can do that. If being a waiter is what does that, then be a waiter. I drive a limo, but that’s not all that I am. I’m a mechanic. I’m also his best friend.” Henley paused for a minute. “Did you read that article about him and the president?”
“No. I saw the picture, and that’s what made me realize I couldn’t be with him.”
“Can you pull it up, please? If it’s the one I’m thinking about, you’re going to want to see something.” Henley grinned.
“You mean there’s more?”
“Oh, so much more. Darwin has met with three presidents, several governors, politicians from both sides of the aisle. It’s part of what having money does. It opens doors. But it’s Darwin who is important to them, not them who is important to him.”
Ricky grabbed his laptop and opened the page he’d been looking at. He saw the picture of Darwin shaking the president’s hand, and his stomach clenched.
“Yes, that’s the one,” Henley told him. “Did you look closely at that picture?”
“No,” Ricky admitted.
“Okay, take a look at the guy on the left in the background.”
Ricky let his gaze wander over the picture, and then he noticed what Henley wanted him to see.
“That�
��s you!”
“Yep. Dean couldn’t make it, so Dare asked me to go with him. I looked like a pig’s ear stuffed into a silk purse, but he didn’t care. He introduced me to the president. Did he say, ‘this is my driver’? No. He said, ‘I’d like you to meet my friend.’
“I wasn’t his driver. I wasn’t the mechanic who services his car. I was his friend. So tell me, how do you think he’d introduce you? ‘This is my waiter?’ or do you think he’d say, ‘This is my boyfriend.’ You’re not your job, Ricky. At least not to Darwin. Maria isn’t his cook. She’s the woman who helped to raise him. Her boys aren’t servants. They’re the kids he’s putting through school. One of them wants to be a doctor. The other hasn’t figured out what he wants yet, but Darwin will help him achieve it when he decides.
“It’s the same with you. You’re the guy he cares for. He doesn’t look down on you, so why should you be ashamed?”
His mother had said the same thing to him. He’d told her he wasn’t, but in truth, he was ashamed. He figured people would think the only reason Darwin was with him would be because Ricky got paid for it. He would never be anything but lower middle class. Even if he got together with Darwin, he’d still only be him.
“What can I offer him?” Ricky asked, wanting to deflect the conversation.
“Something none of us can give him. Your heart. You make him smile, a real, genuine look that none of us has been able to put on his face for so long. But that’s not what’s bothering you, is it? What’s really on your mind?”
He didn’t want to say it. The truth would hurt him, but he’d already done the same to Darwin. “I don’t want people to look at me differently,” he admitted softly.
“Why should you care? Look, I’m not saying that you and Dare will work out. I don’t want you to think that. But you’ll never know if you run away from him. What’s the worst that could happen? You find you’re in love with a rich man, and he loves you back? Life isn’t a guarantee, Ricky. Darwin and Dean found that out.”
Merlin mewed loudly, breaking the tension. Ricky rubbed the cat’s ears, eliciting a loud purr. When Ricky looked up at their guest, Henley smiled at him.
“You’re a strong guy. If you decide to pursue this relationship and keep being a waiter, Darwin will encourage you to be the very best you can. He will support you in anything you do. Because he wants for you the same thing he wants for the rest of his family: to be happy.”
Ricky picked Merlin up and held him to his chest. The cat snuggled in, butting his head against Ricky’s chin.
“Is it really that simple?”
“Yep. It really is. Or you can go ahead and continue to make it difficult. It’s up to you how this is going to play out. You have the power here.”
Ricky thought about Darwin, and his heart still fluttered when the image of the man came to mind.
“I’ve been stupid,” he admitted.
“I can’t deny that,” Henley replied, smirking.
“He’d really give it all up to be with me?”
“Kent said he called the lawyers to draft the paperwork. What does that tell you?”
No one had ever been willing to give something up for Ricky, especially not something they’d spent most of their life building. The thought that Darwin would sacrifice so much enflamed Ricky. Equal parts love and anger warred for dominance as he realized how unfair he’d been. He hadn’t even given Darwin—given them—a fair chance. He had been so protective of his own feelings, he’d never given a thought to the man he believed he loved.
“I need to go see him.”
“Yeah, you really do. If you don’t want to be with him, then explain your reasons. Don’t just say we’re not right for each other. That’s not fair to him at all. Whether you know it or not, he’s fully vested in you.”
Ricky stood, dislodging a mewing Merlin. “Thanks for coming by.”
“You want a ride? I happen to know there’s a limo parked outside.”
“You left the limo out there? Unattended? Oh God, I hope to hell you have tires when we get out there.”
Henley laughed. Then his expression turned hopeful. “So you’ll go see him?”
“I will.”
After they got into the car, Henley explained to Ricky that Kent had called him after the meeting with Darwin. He’d been concerned and wanted to know what Henley knew. He said that he and his wife didn’t want the company, but they would take it to keep it from being sold off or the employees put out of work.
“I don’t think Darwin’s really giving this the thought he needs to,” Henley said. “Even after Dean died, he still fought to keep the company going. Those are his people, and he’d give his right arm before he let anything happen to them.”
Ricky couldn’t help but be humbled. No one, aside from his mother and sister, had ever put him first.
“I’ve been a dick,” he said quietly.
“So has Darwin. He didn’t want to tell you who he was, because he wanted you to see the person, not the money.”
“Money changes everything.”
“Exactly. Dare’s parents drilled that into his head from the time he was old enough to earn an allowance. You always had to be careful about people, because when they found out you had money, they usually only saw you as a potential stepping stone.”
“I’d never do that.”
“But you did. Only in reverse. You looked at the money and saw it as something to keep you apart. You stopped seeing Darwin and only saw dollar signs.”
“Because I don’t want his money!”
“That’s fine. Earn your own. He won’t mind. Darwin wants you happy. Preferably with him, of course. If the money aspect bothers you that much, tell him. The two of you will have to deal with it. Pretty sure it won’t go away.”
Henley spoke the truth. Darwin’s money wouldn’t go away if he could help it. He loved Darwin, and he understood that he wouldn’t be happy if he gave everything up. He didn’t want Darwin to resent him.
Henley parked the car and then walked Ricky to the door. When a man opened the door, Henley shook his hand. “Hey, Mitch. This is Ricky. He’s here to see Darwin.”
“After his brother left, he told me he didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“Trust me on this one, Dare will want to see Ricky.”
He could see Mitch mulling it over. “Okay. But only because I know you. I hope Mr. Kincade is okay. He didn’t seem himself when he came in.”
“Don’t worry,” Ricky promised, “he’ll be better after we talk.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” Henley said. “Just be careful, okay?”
“Promise.”
Henley handed Ricky a card with his number on it. “In case you need me, give me a call. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight anyway.”
Henley left after he keyed Ricky into the private elevator. Ricky took a couple of breaths while he ascended to the floor that held Darwin’s office. As he stepped off the elevator, he noticed the dimmed lights, and the ungodly snores that came from somewhere in the room. He flicked on the light switch and saw Darwin asleep on the couch, a nearly empty bottle of Macallan M on the floor next to him.
“Fuck,” Ricky whispered.
He knelt down next to the extra-wide couch and put a hand on Darwin’s shoulder.
“Hey, wake up, Darwin.”
Darwin snorted, then rolled over.
“Darwin? I need to talk to you.”
Darwin’s eyes popped open. He gazed unsteadily at Ricky, then groaned.
“I really fucked up,” he said, then belched. “I thought I could have it all, but after a while, I realized all I really wanted was Ricky.”
Ricky stroked Darwin’s forehead. “I’m Ricky. You can talk with me.”
A shake of his head turned out to be the only answer Ricky got. He chuckled.
“Okay, how about if we talk in the morning?”
He nudged Darwin over on the couch, then lay beside him, an arm wrapped protectively around his w
aist. “I’m sorry I was such an ass,” he said, kissing Darwin’s neck.
“I love you, Ricky.”
Ricky snuggled in closer. “I love you, too, Darwin.”
Chapter Thirteen
Darwin’s mouth felt dry and gummy. He’d known as soon as he’d pulled the bottle out that he shouldn’t do it, but he needed to forget. At least for a while. Today he’d pay for it. His head already wanted to burst, and his stomach heaved at the thought of moving. He closed his eyes, soaking up the warmth surrounding him.
His eyes flew open, and he jerked up, groaning at his mistake.
“Damn,” he whimpered.
“Where do you keep the aspirin?” a sleepy voice beside him asked.
Darwin looked down and blinked several times, trying to clear the hallucination from his mind.
“Really here, Darwin,” Ricky said, amusement in his voice.
“But how? Wait. Let me guess. Henley.”
“He came to see me last night. We talked. I want to apologize to you for not believing in you. In us. It all happened so fast, and I wasn’t prepared. If you’re willing, I’d like us to start over.”
“We can’t,” Darwin groaned.
“Why not?” Ricky asked, pulling Darwin back down on the couch.
“I don’t want to start over. I acted stupid, and I don’t want to do it again.”
“Okay, how about this then? My name is Ricky. I’m a waiter.”
Darwin chuckled. “I’m Darwin. I own Kincade International. At least I did. I asked Kent to take over the company last night.”
“Wanna tell me why?”
“Because I wanted to be the guy you could love. If my having money got in the way, then it seemed a simple solution. But…”
“But?”
Darwin sighed. “But it’s not. After Kent left, I got drunk, and it gave me great clarity. I can’t change who I am, Ricky. Not even for you.”
Of Love and Corn Dogs Page 14