by Tara Brown
I do normally but the thought of them ripping him to pieces frightens me. The last of the screams fill the air and slowly a single dark shadow walks to the fire. He stands at the other side and mutters, “Your turn, Dorian.”
I lower the flames and Marcus walks out, covered in black blood. His eyes don't meet mine as he walks past us and down the long dark tunnel. Dorian walks into the large opening of the cave, moving with great speed and ferocity. His hand swipes past them, sucking souls so fast I can’t see all the movements he makes. I turn and walk out of the cave, finding Marcus standing alone in the dusk filled forest. He doesn't turn when he speaks, “You must let me change you.”
I shake my head. “I’m fine this way.”
He shakes his head. “No. You aren’t fine.” He turns, making me jump. His face is soaked in the blood of the dying vampires and his eyes are a black sort of blue. “You are vulnerable. That many vampires, witch hunting, could have taken you. You might have just walked into a trap for all I know. You need my blood.”
I shake my head. “I don't want to be that. I like just being a fae witch. Adding halfling is a mistake I don't intend to repeat. I like the wind on my face and the warmth around me. I don't want an eternity of darkness.”
In a wave of anger and odd emotion I don't expect because the onset is so fast, he spins and shouts at me, “YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME! THEY WILL KILL YOU!” He storms across the crunchy snow and grabs my arm. I try to freeze him but it doesn't work. He shoves me back in the snow and bites his wrist. “Do you see how easy it is to overpower you?” He shoves his seeping wound in my face, forcing it past my lips. I scream as he cuts one of my lips, allowing for the blood to get in. The hot, thick liquid oozes into my throat, coating it. I am drowning and shooting fireballs and trying to freeze him. I electrocute him and call upon the winds and earth, but still he grips to me and battles the effects of my magic and wrath.
He won’t let go. We shoot up into the air, still in our struggled embrace as I call on all the elements at once, creating a massive twister.
We are flying through the air when he finally lets me go. I scream as I realize what he has done to me. “WHAT IF I CAN’T SAVE ANGIE NOW? WHAT IF THIS TAKES MY SOUL? I NEEDED MY SOUL!”
He shakes his head, killing me with the choking feeling in my throat and the sorrow in his eyes as he reaches forward and takes a nasty big bite out of my throat. His fangs are the last things I see before everything goes black.
When I wake I am smothered in something heavy. I reach forward, bursting my hand through the heaviness to discover it is dirt. I am buried alive, which means I am dead. He has completed the change. I am no halfling.
A hand reaches into the dirt and pulls me from it. It is Marcus. I wipe the dirt from my face and hair as I struggle from his grip. We are in a warm graveyard with large overhanging trees and a beautiful smell. He brought me home.
His jaw is tight but he manages to speak calmly. “I am not sorry for this.”
“I hate you. I never want to see you again.” The words sort of fall out, like they chose to leave my lips on their own accord.
He nods. “I suppose that is fair.” He steps toward me. “But I want you to understand one thing.” His eyes are still dark and creepy, like the blue has been sucked out. “I did everything for you. I went back three times with you, remembering every detail. I lived this same bullshit fifty years, all for you. I don't do things for other people. I don't love and I don't care and I don't save people.” I realize suddenly he isn’t angry; he’s emotional but doesn't know how to be. His voice cracks. “I don't do any of those things for any one but you.”
I nod. ”I hate you and I never want to see you. I want you to forget you made me. I don't want any part in your royal family or any part in your bloodline. I want to be the girl you never met.”
He looks like he might attack me or just tear down every willow and walnut tree in the graveyard, but he doesn't. He nods once and steps back. “Then it shall be like we have never met.” He is gone. I don't know what kind of magic he used to do it but I don't feel better. I drop to my knees sobbing blackwater down my cheeks and holding myself. I scream up into the dark night, wishing I could hate him as much as I said I did.
I get up and stumble, sobbing, to the grave that I was supposed to make empty. I drop to my knees again and lie down on the dirt where she is. I close my eyes and whisper, “I’m so sorry Angie.” I cry like she has just died, because for the first time since she was murdered I am painfully aware of the fact, she can’t ever come back.
I lie there until the sunrise starts to sparkle in the air.
Chapter Twenty-One
2010
London
Sometimes I miss him. It isn’t often but it happens when I least expect it. I stroll into the kitchen to get a blood bag, but I find Gwen and Landry smiling at me instead. I don't like it when they smile at me at the same time. I feel like I’ve intruded.
Only today she hands me a huge box covered in wrapping paper. “Open it.”
I look down on the box and shake my head. “What is this for?”
“It’s your birthday.”
I look outside at the dark and nod. “Oh. It must have slipped my mind.” I tear at the sparkly paper and smile when I see it. It’s a picture. The picture. “How did you get it?” The painting is of Marcus, Dorian, and Aleksander in front of a beautiful estate. I love the painting so much it makes my dead heart ache a little.
She shakes her head. “Marcus replicated it for you and told me it was something you loved. He seems more jovial lately.”
I narrow my gaze. “Then he’s up to something.”
Gwen rolls her eyes. “He’s rotten as the day is long but he’s not the worst vampire out there. It’s been decades. Why won’t you just forgive him? He was right. You were vulnerable. This is the best possible solution for you. You still have the strength and magic of the witch, because you claimed your magic before you died. You have the invincibility and immortality of a vampire. And you have all the weird shit from being fae.”
I shake my head. “He sealed my fate for me. He chose my destiny and forced this on me. And I can’t save Angie. I don't know who to push or how to control it. What if Em dies because of the push or Daddy or Maria? No one wins unless I use the magic when she pushes me and choose what the push will be.”
Landry sighs. “Lorelei, he loves you in his twisted, dirty, and scary fashion. He does. He just wanted you to be safe.”
My face doesn't change when I nod. “Thank you for this. I love it. Tell him thanks.” I carry it to my room and take down the painting I had done of the garden at my house with the old dance floor and the pillars. The lilacs were in full bloom and it smelled amazing. I never see it during the day anymore. I never see anything during the day anymore.
I draw a line on the door wall of my room and make a door. I push it open and walk out onto the dance floor at my daddy’s. The house isn’t ours anymore. It’s sold. He and Maria are in Florida, the worst place they could have gone for me. The sun is unbearable but she uses the sun to keep them alive longer. I always visit at night and make Daddy believe I look older than I do. I make him think I stayed for the week and my kids ran around the yard. I make him believe I am happy and married to a kind man named John. I do it so he never worries. I can compel even Maria now but I don't bother. I like that I can be me with her. The magic and the vampire combined are unstoppable but having someone know who you are is more valuable.
Em is the tricky one. She and Greg are old. Mid-sixties and they have grandkids. They’re happy in a way that makes me uncomfortable and grateful. I can’t fight the desire to have her life or to wish it for Angie. I can’t help but feel like the world just isn’t completely set right. Angie is dead, forever, and I am stuck in the dark with the cool whispered wind of the dead.
And I love the man who put me here and cursed me with this. I love him more every day I don't see him.
I love him with every fiber of my
being. I love him to the moon and back but it don't matter. I won’t ever let him back in. I won’t ever be that girl who gets pushed around and told how to be and who to be.
I am a woman and I am strong without a man.
I am stronger than any woman I know.
The doorbell rings as I step back and look at the painting. I walk to it and answer, smiling when I see the troubled face of Aleksander. He cocks an eyebrow. “You wouldn't want to help a guy out with a girl problem, would you?” He is the most handsome of all of them. His aqua-blue eyes haunt you with an emptiness. It’s so odd the way women want to fill men up with whatever they’re lacking.
I smile. “What on earth are you talking about now?”
He swallows and gives me a haunted look. “My dad.” The words make me shiver. If I had remained partially human and ever had children, his father would be the subject of the scary stories I told them to warn them about all the bad in the world.
He is the big bad wolf.
I nod, closing the door behind me. Aleksander takes me in his thick arms and does his version of traveling. It’s not a wink and it’s not as fast, but when we land in the middle of the forest I don't feel off. His way of moving is less harsh. Not to mention, he smells like cookies and sex somehow combining and making the ultimate meal. I daydream about biting him, but Lydia told me he is not the sort of guy a girl goes around biting. As good as he smells, his lips are the issue for me. They’re plump and make me moan for no reason when I look at them. He doesn’t usually even notice when I’m doing it, like he’s used to it. It makes me a bit sad for him. He’s like a piece of meat and all women treat him like that.
He leads me through the forest to a road, a highway.
“Where are we?” It reminds me of the United States.
“Close to Lydia’s. A few hours away from there.”
I sniff the air, cloaking myself even more. His dad freaks me out in unnatural ways. He can’t kill me, not the way he likes. I suppose he could torture the hell out of me though. “I don't smell him.”
“He’s coming. Lydia saw him here. She says she saw him in a vision.”
Poor Aleksander. His father is a train wreck. Annabelle told me that when Aleksander was a boy his father used to do horrid things to women. One night he did something terrible to the daughter of a shaman, like Henry. The shaman cursed Aleksander’s dad to become a werewolf and then cursed Aleksander so he would always show up just as the murdered woman died to clean up the mess his father left behind.
He has chased him for hundreds of years, trying to kill his own father and end the murders of the women. But he always shows up after the crime has been committed.
If Lydia saw him about to commit the murder, then we have to act on it. We have to stop him.
That's where I come in. The ultimate bait for him.
I walk out onto the highway, standing in the dark. I look up at the moon and sigh as I remove the cloak that hides my scent.
I don't wait long before I catch a smell. It puts all the hair on my body on end. I have never seen him but the rumors make me sick in ways I can’t fathom. Even after Whit’s family’s torture room I can’t bear this.
I hear a twig break to the right, as a large grey wolf appears. I try to signal Aleksander but he is looking the other way. The wolf pauses, shaking his head at me. He turns and breaks into a run. I sprint after him shouting, “ALEKSANDER!”
I leap over a log, chasing after him. I push my legs hard. Running as a witch I am unbeatable. As a vampire I am a monster. Vampires take the skills they had before they changed with them. If they were already a good shot, they’re an amazing shot when they turn.
I was a runner.
Thanks to Ramón I have always been a runner. But the wolf is the natural enemy of the vampire. He is agile and fast in a way that even my natural talent can’t keep up with.
I run until I lose sight and smell of him. I stop, looking around the dark woods. I am out of breath but able to keep going, I just don't know the way. I’ve lost him.
I try to catch the trail but the smell is everywhere. He’s been all over these woods, long before I ever got here.
“Lorelei!”
I turn to see Aleksander running up to me. I wince. “Sorry. He got away. I didn't stand a chance at catching him.”
He shakes his head. “If you couldn't catch him, no one will.” He seems down. I point around the woods. “There’s a smell here. It's his. He’s been here a while. I don't know why he would be here.”
He folds his arms across his wide chest. I seriously want to bite him. He sighs, making the air smell like him. “He must be stalking someone.”
I pull my cell phone out and send a mass text with a photo.
Everyone starts to show, landing in the woods in pairs. Dorian and Brandon, Lorri and a female vampire named Andy Cromwell, and Landry and Gwen. I point to the woods. “We have Aleksander’s dad in these woods somewhere. We need to hunt him down. He must be stalking someone, selectively picking his women now. The scent is everywhere. I had him on the run in here moments ago. He’s not far.”
Aleksander and I turn and walk into woods, hiking in the dark. “It’s three, I have about three hours till sunrise.”
Aleksander nods. “I’ll have you back home by then.”
“Deal.” We hike until we reach a town. It’s a tiny hamlet on the sea. The smell of the West Coast is different. Eventually, everyone else makes their way from the woods.
Lorri gives Aleksander a look. “You want help with your dad? Join the Roses. We’ll break your curse.”
He shakes his head. “I need this curse. I need to know what he does.”
“What did you learn today? He preselects his victims. It’s taken you hundreds of years to realize he stalks them. She caught that in five minutes. Let us help you.” She looks annoyed.
He doesn't budge.
Dorian offers me a hand. “Ride home?”
I take his hand, waving at Aleksander. “Sorry. I wish I could have been more useful.”
He shakes his head. “I don't know who in Port Mackenzie he would be stalking but maybe he won’t attack, now that he knows we are watching the area.”
He is gone a second later. Lorri looks annoyed but Dorian winks us away before I have to listen to why. He winks right into my bedroom. “Oh my, I don't know how we ended up here.”
A grim smile crosses my lips. “No.”
He leans in, smelling my neck and planting soft kisses along my neckline. “What if I say I could love a girl like you?”
“Still no.” I close my eyes and tilt my head as his kisses climb my neck. He kisses my cheek, close to my lips and whispers, “What if I said I don't think I can love ever and I just want to feel less alone?”
“I wish I could.” I nod.
He pulls back, looking down on me. “Marcus? That wanker has you still—even after all these years?”
I bite my lip. “I’m not the casual sex sort of girl. I want to be but I feel bad afterward. My heart might be dead inside of my chest but it still aches for him.”
The sentence makes him smile. “God help me find something like that, even if it’s for just a moment.”
He breaks my heart and makes me see what a fool I have been. I have that moment of love, it’s fleeting and we’re a disaster but I have it. I hold my hand out. “Can you take me there?”
He kisses my hand and winks. He leaves me in the yard, winking away instantly. Henry is at the door, looking annoyed. I offer a slight wave. He shakes his head. He never approves. I walk to him offering him my hands. He holds them to his round cheeks and closes his eyes. I close mine and I show him why. I know it’s the thing he wants to know.
I show him every kind moment and every tender word.
He shows me something else. He exchanges his memories for mine. He shows me a girl with red hair. She sings and every man bows. He shows me twisted and distorted images of her and Marcus. It looks old, older anyway. But there are recent images of a
girl with red hair. She looks similar to the one from before but I can tell they are related somehow. The girl is sleeping and eating and living her life. I don't understand what he is trying to show me.
It makes me uncomfortable, like I’m stalking her or intruding on her life. “Who is she?”
He looks pained.
“Does he love her?” I have to face the fact that Marcus might have fallen in love again. It has been a long time.
Henry shakes his head and walks away. I don't think he believes Marcus is capable of love, not the way I think he is. Henry doesn't see Marcus the way I do.
It’s odd. I don't get it. I know their friendship is forced and some kind of magic holds them together, but Marcus won’t ever talk about it and Dorian’s lame story on it gave me no answers. But I don't get how Henry would stay, and yet hate Marcus so much. He keeps him safe but seems like he hates himself for it.
I look up at the sun about to rise when I walk in. I couldn't have timed it worse. When I get inside of the house I find Marcus in the front room. He looks different, which is odd for a vampire. His eyes widen when he sees me and I swear there is a slight grin but he fights it. He closes himself off to me. I literally watch as the wall is built up and he mockingly says, “Happy birthday, dear Lorelei.”
I swallow hard, regretting coming. “Thank you for the painting.” He nods, sitting down in his chair like he is the master of the house and wants me to see it. He wants to hurt me. I shake my head. “I’m sorry, I have to go. This was a mistake.”
“WHY DID YOU COME THEN?”
I already feel sick so when he shouts and smashes the wall next to him, I jump.
I never jump anymore.
My feet can’t hurry for the doorway fast enough, and yet he still grabs my arm, dragging me back in. He sounds mad, not angry but insane. “What—no shocking and electrocuting me? You don’t want to keep hurting me, Lorelei? You done then? You back now? Is my time for being punished for loving you over? You seem a bit like you’d rather go into the morning sun and die than stay in here with me?”